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Dangerous Currents

It’s Wednesday and you know what that means – Friday Fictioneers! Hosted as always by the talented Rochelle, a hundred or so of us attempt to write approximately a hundred words in response to a photo, which this week has been provided by fellow Fictioneerer Björn Rudberg.

To read all the other stories (more are added throughout the week), click on Bracken, the little blue guy below.

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Copyright Björn Rudberg

Frederick looked down from the dizzying height of the cliff. Far below he could see a house nestled against the cliff face and further still his target, the beach. He checked his parachute, took a deep breath and jumped.

Exhilarated by the buffeting wind, he reached to open his chute. Without warning a gust hit him square on, throwing him towards the house. A brief, agonising moment of pain, then blackness.

Meanwhile, inside…

“Bill! Oi lost moi show! The picture’s gone all snowy!”

“Prob’ly another one o’ them damn fool base jumpers impaled on the aerial again. Oi’ll get the ladder.”

“Third one this week. Inconsiderate bastards.”

  1. August 6, 2014 at 7:35 pm

    These folks should seriously consider switching to satellite 🙂

    Like

    • August 7, 2014 at 6:12 pm

      At least the dish would make a nice curvy landing spot 🙂

      Like

  2. August 6, 2014 at 8:15 pm

    Ouch. 🙂

    Like

    • August 7, 2014 at 6:14 pm

      I’m sure he didn’t suffer. Long 😉

      Like

  3. August 6, 2014 at 8:20 pm

    such a pain with all these people dropping from the sky.. and imagine all the TV they miss just because of such folly.

    Like

    • August 7, 2014 at 6:16 pm

      It can be really annoying when you miss your favourite TV because there’s a body on the roof.

      Like

  4. August 6, 2014 at 8:59 pm

    ha ha, can’t beat a bit of dark humour 😉

    Like

    • August 7, 2014 at 6:17 pm

      I thought it was about time for another of these 🙂

      Like

  5. NotAPunkRocker
    August 6, 2014 at 9:40 pm

    Maybe I will stick with cable after all…

    Like

    • August 7, 2014 at 6:18 pm

      Good idea. That way the base jumpers just bounce off the roof and your favourite show continues regardless.

      Like

  6. August 6, 2014 at 9:44 pm

    Oh my gawd! Hahaha… how dare he?
    This was a great piece, doc:)
    Ellespeth

    Like

    • August 7, 2014 at 6:19 pm

      Yeah, the nerve of the guy 🙂
      I’m glad you enjoyed it!

      Like

  7. August 6, 2014 at 9:48 pm

    Dear Ali,

    Oh dear! Dontcha just hate it when sky divers mess up your TV receptions by impaling themselves on your antenna? So messy and bothersome. You made me laugh.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

    • August 7, 2014 at 6:21 pm

      Dear Rochelle,
      It can be quite annoying!
      I’m glad you enjoyed it and had a laugh 🙂 (and thanks for mentioning “Bracken”!)
      Ali

      Like

  8. August 6, 2014 at 10:42 pm

    We hope to reach the target but sometimes the target is too far.

    Like

    • August 7, 2014 at 6:21 pm

      He certainly bit off a bit more than he could chew.

      Like

  9. August 6, 2014 at 10:53 pm

    The price to pay. 🙂

    Like

    • August 7, 2014 at 6:22 pm

      And it was quite an expensive price, all things considered 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  10. August 7, 2014 at 6:17 am

    Ali, Hilarious dark humor. 😀 The nerve of those guys messing up the TV reception. I always love the dialect. You’d think the word would get around after so many being impaled. Another funny story springing from your great sense of humor. 😀 —Susan

    Like

    • August 7, 2014 at 6:23 pm

      I get the impression they have a little pile of base jumper corpses hidden round the back 🙂
      I’m glad you enjoyed it, I thought a bit of humour after last week’s rather sombre offering.

      Like

  11. August 7, 2014 at 6:19 am

    Inconsiderate indeed – and well done. 🙂

    Like

    • August 7, 2014 at 6:23 pm

      Thanks! The nerve of those base jumpers.

      Like

  12. August 7, 2014 at 7:03 am

    Loved this. Really made me laugh.

    Like

    • August 7, 2014 at 6:25 pm

      I’m glad, that was the plan 🙂

      Like

  13. August 7, 2014 at 8:02 am

    Well that was certainly an original take on the prompt. 🙂

    Like

    • August 7, 2014 at 6:26 pm

      I don’t know where base jumpers came from, but I thought after my story last week it was time for something lighter 🙂

      Like

  14. August 7, 2014 at 1:25 pm

    Ha!Gave a chuckle!

    Like

    • August 7, 2014 at 6:28 pm

      Excellent, that was the idea 🙂

      Like

  15. August 7, 2014 at 2:28 pm

    Very out of the box. Great write.

    Like

    • August 7, 2014 at 6:29 pm

      Thanks, the rather odd idea just entered my head. Hey, it could happen…

      Like

  16. August 7, 2014 at 3:07 pm

    inconsiderate bastards indeed! but wow, that’s a really painful way to die. lol great read 🙂

    Like

    • August 7, 2014 at 6:30 pm

      Hopefully he didn’t suffer for long! I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂

      Like

  17. August 7, 2014 at 3:08 pm

    This is funny!

    Like

  18. August 7, 2014 at 6:39 pm

    Cover that guy up in aluminum foil, and I’ll bet it would help the reception!

    Like

    • August 7, 2014 at 6:41 pm

      Hey yeah! They could have aluminium-covered dead base jumpers all over as signal boosters and stuff. They’re certainly missing a trick there.

      Like

  19. August 7, 2014 at 6:43 pm

    this would be a good advertisement for the cable people. I hear it now… get cable, save a life.

    Like

    • August 7, 2014 at 6:51 pm

      Ha yes, that would be a hilarious advert! The accompanying picture to illustrate it might be a bit gruesome, though 🙂

      Like

  20. August 7, 2014 at 8:00 pm

    You are one sick b*stard! LOL too funny!!!!

    Like

    • August 7, 2014 at 8:18 pm

      I’ll take that as a compliment 🙂
      I’m glad you enjoyed it!

      Like

  21. August 7, 2014 at 11:54 pm

    Ha Ha Ha
    Hey, don’t mess with my TV!

    Like

    • August 8, 2014 at 7:28 am

      If there’s one thing people shouldn’t mess with, it’s my TV 🙂

      Like

  22. Lyn
    August 8, 2014 at 7:10 am

    LOL just love the accents! We had a similar thing happen with a pigeon a few years back. Poor thing flew straight into the arial and impaled itself 😦

    Like

    • August 8, 2014 at 7:30 am

      Oh no.
      I hope my story didn’t give you flashbacks 😦

      Like

  23. August 8, 2014 at 3:32 pm

    Hilarious! And so messed up. Into every life some rain must fall, I suppose. 😉

    Like

    • August 8, 2014 at 3:43 pm

      Rain and base jumpers, it seems 🙂

      Like

  24. Pat
    August 8, 2014 at 3:33 pm

    I’m so sorry, but I just can’t stop laughing — this is such an usual and macabre twist on the prompt! I’m loving it!

    Like

    • August 8, 2014 at 3:45 pm

      I must admit I had a chuckle after I wrote it 🙂 I like writing stuff that seems normal, and then something totally mad happens.

      Like

      • Pat
        August 8, 2014 at 3:46 pm

        It was absolutely brilliant — honestly, and to say this, I mean, I’ve just read a whack of the entries for the prompt – and this, yours, is by far, my fave!

        Absolutely gorgeous!

        Like

      • August 8, 2014 at 3:59 pm

        Thank you, that’s such a lovely thing to say 🙂
        I’m so glad you enjoyed it!

        Like

  25. August 8, 2014 at 4:44 pm

    It would never have happened to James Bond 007. You could say he ‘smershed’ into the house. Sorry!

    Like

    • August 8, 2014 at 6:11 pm

      Hee hee 🙂
      No, 007 would have bounced majestically off the chimney stack and continued his descent.

      Liked by 1 person

      • August 8, 2014 at 9:44 pm

        Yes, and rescued a Bond Girl, as he descended, with a silly name like Pussy or Domino. When I was a teenager, my best friend at school and I used to pretend to be spies and Bond girls. I decided to call myself Bunny Lane! Oh boy.

        Like

      • August 9, 2014 at 7:26 am

        Hee hee, “Bunny Lane” is a brilliant Bond Girl name 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • August 9, 2014 at 1:47 am

        I just want to say I love this response chain about 007. Brilliant!

        Like

      • August 9, 2014 at 7:27 am

        I missed a trick there, not writing a spy story!

        Like

      • August 9, 2014 at 1:06 pm

        Haha perhaps – it could have been from the point of view of a grizzled old agent, training yet another Bond-wannabe agent.

        Like

  26. August 8, 2014 at 5:27 pm

    Haha. I guess the hazards of living cliffside! And to interrupt the TV show to boot! Very funny.

    Like

    • August 8, 2014 at 6:12 pm

      “Location, location, location” as they say.
      I’m glad you enjoyed it!

      Like

  27. August 8, 2014 at 7:14 pm

    Love the title and what how you used it. Very funny. I’m trying to work out where the house is based on the accents? I hope the base jumpers survive their impalement on the aerial. Perhaps it’s time they moved a little way along the cliff.

    Like

    • August 8, 2014 at 7:23 pm

      I think the house is sort of SW England (my part of the world). Sadly I think the base jumpers are gonners 😦 You would think that they would have moved their launch point in light of all the jumpers who launch but never land!

      Like

  28. August 9, 2014 at 1:46 am

    Such gruesome humor. I love it!

    Like

    • August 9, 2014 at 7:27 am

      I’m guessing he made quite a mess when he “landed” 🙂

      Like

      • August 9, 2014 at 1:06 pm

        I think he “smooshed” rather than landed. Or maybe he “splatted.”

        Like

  29. August 10, 2014 at 11:47 pm

    Dear Draliman – Think of all the insurance policies you could sell to the owners for their roof and/or satellite systems. I think the inconsiderate dead jumpers should be ashamed of themselves and should have gone elsewhere to kill themselves. Well, maybe they can still get a couple of channels off the dish – like Captain Kangaroo. Nan 🙂

    Like

    • August 11, 2014 at 8:31 am

      Dear Nan,
      Maybe the base jumpers’ club should be paying for the insurance! I’m guessing their base jumper meetings are getting pretty empty.
      Ali

      Like

  30. August 11, 2014 at 1:47 pm

    Removal must be quite a mess.

    Like

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