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Here’s my contribution to this week’s Friday Fictioneers, a 100-ish words challenge hosted by Rochelle. This week she contributed the picture as well!

To read the other entries, click on the little blue chap below.


Copyright Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

Carlos looked deep into the fire, hypnotised by the tongues of flame. His mind drifted back to candlelit dinners with Sally, watching the fire together. Sharing everything, one mind, one heart. But…

… she had hated his job. They had argued, every day towards the end. His job was important, he told her. Someone had to do it. In the end their love hadn’t been enough.

A groan brought him back to the present, back to his job. He pulled a coal from the fire and placed it under his victim’s chin, pushing the head down, and smiled. He loved to hear the screams before the vocal chords burned away.

  1. NotAPunkRocker
    September 4, 2014 at 5:17 pm

    Gotta pay the bills somehow…


    • September 4, 2014 at 5:44 pm

      Is it my fault if I love my job so much bwahahahaha.


  2. September 4, 2014 at 7:29 pm

    Arggh.. that was evil.. painful to burn away the vocal cords..


    • September 5, 2014 at 6:55 am

      Makes my throat ache a bit just to think about it 😦


  3. Lyn
    September 4, 2014 at 8:26 pm

    Chilling! This is one of those times you need more than a “like” button. You need a “I loved the way you wrote this, but your MC totally freaked me out” 🙂


    • September 5, 2014 at 6:56 am

      A button for every reaction 🙂
      He freaked me out too, very evil chap.


  4. September 4, 2014 at 8:29 pm

    Very ghoulish….or is that mafia-ish? Lol. Well done!


    • September 5, 2014 at 6:57 am

      I had some sort of organised crime in mind, maybe sending a “message” (I’m assuming he’s not trying to make the poor guy talk, given what he’s doing!).


  5. September 4, 2014 at 10:46 pm

    Oh my sounds lie a serial killer being born. Good shivering story.


    • September 5, 2014 at 7:02 am

      It certainly sounds like he enjoys his “work”.


  6. September 5, 2014 at 12:46 am

    just wondering what job could it be… and who was his employer?


    • September 5, 2014 at 7:03 am

      I was thinking probably organised crime. It looks to me like he’s sending a message – maybe this guy has betrayed them, or it’s someone from an opposing gang.


  7. September 5, 2014 at 5:55 am

    This heartwarming little story would have to be set to Alecia Keys’ song “Girl on Fire”…


    • September 5, 2014 at 7:05 am

      I like “heartwarming little story” 🙂 Maybe that’s where the next coal is going.
      I only know “New York” by Alicia Keys (though I’ve probably heard more without realising it). Most annoying song ever.


      • September 5, 2014 at 7:14 am

        That’s not her best, for sure. I like Girl on Fire (which I’ve always sung as “Squirrel on Fire” of course) which I believe came out last year, and “No One” which is about 2007ish. Both songs have been on the muzak at work…


        • September 5, 2014 at 7:50 am

          I don’t really listen to many new-to-me songs, I must admit. The radio at work gets drowned out once everyone gets in, and I tend to listen to my own compilations, so I probably miss a lot of stuff. I’m not sure muzak is the answer, though 🙂


  8. September 5, 2014 at 6:50 am

    I really, really want to know more. He could be like Matt Damon in Dogma offing the evil?


    • September 5, 2014 at 7:06 am

      I hadn’t thought of that – I was thinking more “organised crime” – but I love that idea! Makes me feel better about what he’s doing.


  9. September 5, 2014 at 9:41 am

    Owwwch! That’s one way to stop people talking! I hope Sally is very far away, though I’m not so sure she was allowed to just walk out. Well told, I loved this story 🙂


    • September 5, 2014 at 10:26 am

      I didn’t think of that – it doesn’t seem to be the sort of relationship one just “leaves”. I’m glad you enjoyed it!


  10. September 5, 2014 at 11:48 am

    Ali, Very dark with this story. You would literally be close to hell being married to someone with that job. O_o His clothes probably smelled of smoke all the time. It made a picture in my mind I’d rather not keep. Well written though. 🙂 —Susan


    • September 5, 2014 at 2:04 pm

      Of smoke… or worse 😦


  11. September 5, 2014 at 2:31 pm

    Didn’t see that job description online anywhere. Wonder what the qualifications are? Never mind. I don’t want to know. Good, but yuk! And I don’t have a good feeling about where Sally is right now!



    • September 5, 2014 at 4:05 pm

      I think there are special places for those job ads 🙂
      I have bad feelings about Sally too. Hopefully she left without telling him first.


  12. September 5, 2014 at 3:04 pm

    You should have a reunion of your creepy characters. A party. They could share memories, maybe techniques?


  13. September 5, 2014 at 3:29 pm

    ugh. no wonder she left him… burning people… where’s the money in that? 🙂
    totally creepy story.


    • September 5, 2014 at 4:07 pm

      It’s more of a vocation 🙂


  14. September 6, 2014 at 10:01 am

    Dear Ali,

    Yeah…I think I see Sally’s point. 😉 I have to wonder who his employer is.

    Good one in the creepy sense of the word.




    • September 7, 2014 at 6:10 am

      Dear Rochelle,
      Thanks. Sally was definitely right to leave – I hope she got out okay!


  15. September 6, 2014 at 5:30 pm

    This made me draw in a breath and say, “Oh! Yuck!” I’m on Sally’s side. Well done.


    • September 7, 2014 at 6:12 am

      “Oh yuck” is right. Run Sally, run!


  16. September 6, 2014 at 7:16 pm

    Ooh, I wasn’t expected that kind of job. I can see why this job might interfere with a relationship. Creepy good, Alistair.


    • September 7, 2014 at 6:13 am

      It could definitely get in the way. He seems to enjoy it, though!


  17. September 7, 2014 at 2:58 am

    Scary mind you have Sir. I assumed Sally was in the fire already, I also don’t see him allowing her to leave him.
    Have you watched Dexter, the serial killer tv show yet. It’s done here but would be a great weekend marathon viewing.


    • September 7, 2014 at 6:16 am

      She could well be in the fire too – he doesn’t sound the sort of guy you can just walk away from.
      A few months ago I watched every series but the last of Dexter pretty much back to back. I heard the final series is pretty disappointing (plus it’s not on free streaming yet).


  18. September 7, 2014 at 3:27 am

    couldn’t hit the “like” button.
    looked for a “gruesome” button, couldn’t find one….
    Then my vocal cords recovered…


    • September 7, 2014 at 6:18 am

      We definitely need more buttons. Customisable buttons we could tailor to the post!
      “Like”, “Yuck”, “Yeeks”.


  19. September 8, 2014 at 8:38 pm

    That end threw me but then I should have expected your dark edge to seep in, lol. Great little piece 😉


  20. September 8, 2014 at 8:39 pm

    Sorry I meant the beginning threw me, too normal for you 😉


    • September 9, 2014 at 6:55 am

      Heh heh, nothing like a little shocker at the end to spice things up 🙂


  21. September 10, 2014 at 4:02 am

    Oh noooooo! My gawd. This was horribly well done. But yuck!


    • September 10, 2014 at 9:27 am

      Yuck indeed! Nasty fellow 🙂


  22. Sun
    September 10, 2014 at 4:10 am

    you just keep your Carlos character over at your place…holy, moley! what a fantastic story, so captivating even if the situation is gruesome and terrible.


    • September 10, 2014 at 9:29 am

      Thanks! He’s not the sort of fellow I would want to meet 🙂


  23. September 10, 2014 at 5:58 pm

    Oh my, organized crime you say? He sounds like a hitman for Metroplitan Opera.


    • September 10, 2014 at 6:25 pm

      And here was me thinking they just sang and stuff 🙂


  24. September 10, 2014 at 10:02 pm

    What kind of dreams do you have at night?
    This reminds me of the TV show Scandal, but I bet you thought of this all on your own and never watch it. Ha!


    • September 11, 2014 at 11:50 am

      I have some scary dreams sometimes 🙂
      I’ve nearly watched Scandal a couple of times but never did. I assumed it was some sort of political drama. Maybe I’ll give it a go!


      • September 24, 2014 at 11:57 pm

        It is political and is sometime scary.
        Hope it doesn’t give you nightmares.


        • September 25, 2014 at 7:21 am

          I’ll have to give it a try!


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