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Clean Escape

It’s Monday, and therefore time for Mondays Finish the Story, hosted by Barbara Beacham. We get not only a photo but an opening sentence too! We then write our story in around 150 words (not counting the opening sentence).

The supplied sentence is in bold in my story, and to read this week’s other contributions, click on the little blue froggy guy.



Diamond Jack had his hideout next to the Rattle Snake River.  Secluded, it was in the perfect location. Diamond Jack turned to his partner in crime.

“I think we got away clean.”

“Reckon we did, Jack,” replied Samson. “That was a close thing.”

Jack nodded and grabbed a beer from the cooler. “Cheers, mate.” Samson reached for his own beer, then froze, listening.

“Jack, you hear that?”

“Shit!” growled Jack, hearing the sound of a vehicle drawing closer. “They found us! How’d they find us?” The pair scrambled around.

“Shut the curtains!” yelled Jack.

“What curtains?” shouted Samson.

Footsteps came closer, closer. The guys jumped behind the table. The door flew open.

“Diamond Jack, you mangy cur!” shrieked a formidable-looking woman. “Come out of there!”

Jack crept out from behind the table.

“If you think I’m putting up with your weird family alone, you’ve got another think coming! Home, NOW! And don’t you stand there sniggering, Samson Beatman! Your wife’s right behind me!”

  1. February 2, 2015 at 7:43 pm

    Good one! Had me laughing! Thank you for participating! See you next week? Be well… ^..^


  2. Caerlynn Nash
    February 2, 2015 at 7:45 pm

    Chuckle! Good one! Great dialogue!


  3. NotAPunkRocker
    February 2, 2015 at 8:07 pm

    If the family is that bad, I wonder how the in-laws are! 😀


  4. merbear74
    February 2, 2015 at 9:17 pm

    Uh oh! Busted!


    • February 3, 2015 at 8:36 am

      Yep, the wives are always wise to their hubbys’ hiding places 🙂


  5. February 2, 2015 at 10:13 pm

    It’s like us, in elementary school. Okay, lock me up and throw away the key … but please don’t tell my mother! There are worse things than prison 😀


  6. February 3, 2015 at 2:04 am

    Cute story! Loved the twist at the end.


  7. February 3, 2015 at 3:28 am

    Looks like this one’s gonna have to end in a gunfight….


    • February 3, 2015 at 8:37 am

      It might be preferable to going home.


  8. February 3, 2015 at 3:44 am

    So Jack was henpecked. Laughing at the storyline. 🙂


    • February 3, 2015 at 8:38 am

      He certainly was, though it was a bit mean of him to do a runner while the family was in town 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  9. February 3, 2015 at 9:52 am

    Ha! That’s what you call ‘under the thumb!’ I love the fear you instilled in the men throughout the story, it reminded me of Last of the Summer Wine and their failed attempts to be masters in their own home 😉


    • February 3, 2015 at 1:17 pm

      I can almost see Jack and Samson as Compo and Clegg now 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  10. February 3, 2015 at 10:22 am

    And at home awaits the chores of taking out garbage and leaving the toilet seat down.. It’s a tough world for us men 🙂


    • February 3, 2015 at 1:18 pm

      It’s like we never get a minute to ourselves 😦


  11. gentlestitches
    February 3, 2015 at 12:18 pm

    HaHa! Good read!


  12. February 3, 2015 at 12:56 pm

    That was hilarious, Ali. 😀 They fear their wives, not the law. Great take on the prompt, and great twist at the end. 🙂 — Suzanne


    • February 3, 2015 at 1:18 pm

      I tried to make it look like the law was closing in until the end 🙂
      Glad you enjoyed it!


  13. February 3, 2015 at 3:15 pm

    The law did close in, and there’s no escape this time I’m guessing. Loved it 😀 NV


    • February 3, 2015 at 4:29 pm

      Glad you liked it! The wives are definitely the law in their lives 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  14. February 3, 2015 at 5:35 pm

    Great story! This really made me laugh. 😀


    • February 3, 2015 at 7:03 pm

      The poor chaps just wanted a quiet little trip away from the family, fishing in the little river… 🙂
      I’m glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  15. February 3, 2015 at 11:51 pm

    Loved this one. Great story and so real as i know people just like that.


    • February 4, 2015 at 8:14 am

      I can imagine this is quite a common situation. The lads just want some time to themselves. Glad you liked it!


  16. February 4, 2015 at 12:31 am

    Damn funny! They’d rather face the Sheriff, I think. “What curtains?”… love that!


  17. February 4, 2015 at 5:07 am

    Brilliant dialogue ~ The voices of authority arrived in force ~ I can just see the fishing gear unused and sadly left behind ~ Very funny Ali ~


    • February 4, 2015 at 8:15 am

      Thanks! I expect the guys sulked all the way home.


  18. February 4, 2015 at 6:46 pm

    Great story and so funny. I love the way your poor henpecked husbands behave like conniving and mischievous little boys. Mind you, with such fearsomely domineering women around – not to mention his own weird family – who could balme them? 🙂


    • February 4, 2015 at 7:22 pm

      Who indeed? And they thought they’d gotten away with it, ready for a weekend of fishing and beer. Poor lads 🙂
      I’m glad you enjoyed it!

      Liked by 1 person

  19. February 8, 2015 at 12:15 am

    Loved it!!! I even saw her grab his ears and pull him out. This one is a winner!


    • February 8, 2015 at 6:00 am

      Got to get these lazy shirking husbands in line!
      I’m glad you enjoyed it.

      Liked by 1 person

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