The Countess and the Milliner’s Son
Here I am with my contribution to Mondays Finish the Story, hosted every week by Barbara Beacham. This is the challenge where we get a photo, an opening sentence and 150 words. The supplied opening sentence is in bold in my story.
I usually post this on Monday, but I had a germ of an idea yesterday and despite several hours of incubation it failed to become a full-on disease… okay, we’ll leave this metaphor now as it has become a little unhealthy-sounding.
Click on the blue froggy for this week’s other contributions and without further ado, here is my good old-fashioned story of love, romance and a willingness to do whatever it takes to find happiness.
When it came to a challenge, Jim Smiley just had to jump right in!
And what bigger challenge than the delectable Countess Josephine? “Jim Smiley, milliner’s son” would not do, and so he reinvented himself.
“Tarquin Farquharson-Smythe” had the right ring, he felt.
He took diction and “cor blimey, it ain’t ‘alf ‘ot today, guv’nor” became “oh, I say, frightfully warm for the time of year, what?” He learned table manners and etiquette.
When word reached him that the inestimable lady would be overseeing the 1865 leap-frogging championships, he entered. Long he practised his leaping, the better to make a bold impression.
The day arrived. The Countess looked exquisite. Jim leaped, jumped and won. Holding the winner’s plaque, he attempted to woo her free of her undergarments. She advised him, however, that she “preferred a bit of rough” and promptly ran off with the woodcutter’s son.
Undaunted, “Tarquin” became “Jim” once more and headed toward the snack tent where he had espied the delightful Lady Jemima taking tea.
Eh, what … guv’nor … Cute commentary. With deep cultural overtones. Oops, sorry. I meant it’s funny 🙂 Congratulations on your win on Evil Squirrel’s Nest. I lobbied for you.
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Glad you liked my story and thanks for lobbying for me in ES’s competition. I saw your lovely comment on his results post yesterday too, thanks!
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Exquiste parable of supreme taste enough to enlighten the dimmest lady of questionable taste ~~Roughly speaking mate that could charm the draws off a Queen Anne Chest ~ 🙂
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Ha ha touché! Glad you enjoyed it 🙂
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This is delightful. She ran off with the woodcutter’s son because she liked it rough Ha. Oh, pity. Poor, little Jim Frog.
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Who knew? Ah well…
I’m glad you liked it!
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Excellent story! I love how he reinvents himself, abandoning his everyday lingo for the upper cut vowels. Perhaps he should have read Lady Chatterley first. All ‘Ladies’ seem to prefer a bit of rough. Cleverly done and very funny. 🙂
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He certainly needed to do a bit more research first! All that work for nothing 🙂
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Great story! I love his transformation into Tarquin. I love even more how he takes his defeat – returning to being Jim and moving on to the next potential conquest. 🙂
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He took it all in stride – switch to plan B with no hesitation. Heads up Lady Jemima – incoming 🙂
Glad you liked it!
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This made me laugh! Very well written, and I could picture Jim preparing himself in a mirror and practising what to say.
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He must have spent hours getting everything “just right” – and to no avail 🙂
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One should always be true to one’s self. Cute.
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Yep, he should have stayed “Jim”. Lesson learnt!
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I submitted my short story, but there isn’t a link to add the blue box. I’ve gone to InLinkz, but can’t find it. Where did you get your HTMH texed?
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I did “View Source” on the original post (right click on the browser window), searched for “new.inlinkz” using CTRL-F and then copied and pasted everything inside the anchor (“a”) tags into the text view on my post.
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Tried. Not as tech savvy as you. Thanks anyway.
I dropped a note to Monday’s. Maybe the link will magically appear.
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Oh, such a delightful tale! How he hops from one to another… 🙂 Loved it, and thanks for participating! See you next week! Be well… ^..^
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There’s no holding him back. Ladies beware 🙂
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🙂
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Where do you get these ideas? 🙂
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I don’t know. They just pop into my head 🙂
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If at first you don’t succeed, try and try again. Who says it has to be with the same lady? Great story Drali!
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Jim’s not fussy. I’m sure he’ll succeed sooner or later!
Glad you liked it 🙂
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Those ladies… all they care about in a man is the size of his diction…
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Heh heh 🙂
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so funny.. i loved it! you can never guess what a lady wants!
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It looks as if Jim is a quick learner, though! Let’s hope the Lady Jemima isn’t more partial to a more refined gentleman.
Glad you liked it!
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Struth! Crikey! 😀
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Lawks and blimey 🙂
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Well, Ali, at least he got the prize and a good lunch out of it. Concerning Lady Jemima, you left us with kind of a cliffhanger ending. Funny as usual. 😀
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I’m sure the winner’s plaque made it all worth while 🙂
Good luck with Lady Jemima, Jim!
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Great story, cute.
Angels Camp is a old gold miners camp a few hours north of me. Every year there is a frog jumping contest and celebration.
Mostly consists of a lot of drinking and eating.
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Cool! I didn’t know it was a real place or event, though a couple of stories mentioned “Calaveras” which Google tells me is in California, so that made me think that maybe it was real after all.
Sounds like a jolly old knees up 🙂
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I’m think Mark Twain jumped frogs there also.
A person can take your own or rent gold pans to give a try at finding their own nugget.
Very old old ragged place with a few attempts at improvements.
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I gathered something about Mark Twain from some of the other stories. I think I was probably the only person who didn’t know there was a “Mark Twain” link, but I’m not very well read.
We have a place near us where you can do something similar looking for gold, called “The Gold Centre”.
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Cute story. Jim sure can rebound!:)
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Yeah, he crashes and burns, he moves on!
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Haha, loved the names! It’s great to reinvent yourself but sometimes it’s just best to be plain old you, I guess! 😉
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I think Jim is just starting to come to that realisation 🙂
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