Home > Fiction > Literary Lion – A Day in the Life

Literary Lion – A Day in the Life

Just under the wire (and in a hurry), here is my contribution to Laura’s Literary Lion challenge. This week’s prompt word is “king”. Sorry there’s no photo, I’m doing this in my lunch break and don’t have time to find something suitable. So, with very little proof-reading, here we go.

A Day in the Life

It’s not easy being King. Some days it feels like the whole world and his wife is after me for something. It’s always, “Sign this, Your Majesty!” or, “The palace sewers are backed up again!” Like I’m a plumber. I’m the King, dammit! Here we go…

“Your Majesty, Drimmen’s let his cows graze in moi fields again.”

I don’t care.

“I’ll send someone over. Next!”

“Your Majesty, the milk’s turned sour. It’s witches!”

Saints preserve us.

“You left it in the sun again, didn’t you, Breevor? Next!”

“Your Majesty, my daughter’s run off with the milliner’s son! What shall I do?”

How should I know? She’s your daughter.

“Prepare for a wedding. Next!”

And so it goes on. And on. And on. Day in, day out. Don’t I have people for this? It’s not right. Ah, here comes a royal messenger.

“Your Majesty, King Matchett of Greater Gribdovia has crossed the border! It’s war!”

At last, something I can sink my teeth into. Something Kingly!

“Call my generals, sound the alarms, bring me troop…”

“Whoops, sorry, your Majesty. Wrong piece of paper, he hasn’t crossed the border after all. Just a little novelette I’m writing. Ahem. I meant to say that the royal chickens have burrowed under the wire and escaped into the woods again. What shall we do?”

Buggerit.

 

Categories: Fiction Tags: ,
  1. July 21, 2015 at 12:57 pm

    Hilarious, Ali. I love that Cornish dialect. You mean it isn’t good to be king? 😀

    Like

    • July 21, 2015 at 6:23 pm

      I’m sure he’d have a better time of it if he learned to delegate 🙂
      I’m glad you enjoyed it!

      Like

  2. NotAPunkRocker
    July 21, 2015 at 1:40 pm

    A job is a job, no matter what the job is, right?

    I keep reading “moi” in French, I am guessing it is not supposed to be pronounced that way? 🙂

    Like

    • July 21, 2015 at 6:24 pm

      Yeah, even the best jobs have down sides!
      It’s hard to work out how to write the correct pronunciation. It’s “country bumpkin” (i.e. my accent if I increase it). Maybe “mawee”.

      Like

      • NotAPunkRocker
        July 21, 2015 at 6:30 pm

        Funny how country bumpkin here is different there… I wondered if it was maybe more like moy-yee. I’m apparently the only one who didn’t get it though, so carry on 😀

        Like

      • Lyn
        July 21, 2015 at 11:04 pm

        Moi…how about “Moy” ?

        Like

      • July 22, 2015 at 12:43 pm

        Now why didn’t I think of that?

        Liked by 1 person

  3. July 21, 2015 at 2:51 pm

    Sounds like how it feels to be a parent, lol. Really well written, especially for lunch break material. A perfect read for this morning!

    Like

    • July 21, 2015 at 6:26 pm

      Hee, I don’t have kids but I can imagine! I’m glad you enjoyed it, thanks for such a lovely comment 🙂

      Like

  4. July 21, 2015 at 3:40 pm

    I can see where a war would be a definite improvement. It isn’t ALWAYS good to be the king 🙂

    Like

    • July 21, 2015 at 6:27 pm

      He’s a bit bored, poor king. I’m sure the idea of a little war in his head is far better than the reality, however 🙂

      Like

  5. July 21, 2015 at 3:52 pm

    Excellent! Love this. Don’t know how you wrote that in such a small amount of time!

    Like

    • July 21, 2015 at 6:30 pm

      I’m glad you enjoyed it! I already had the story idea in my head which is the hard part, it was just a case of expanding and typing, which took around 15 minutes 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  6. July 21, 2015 at 4:08 pm

    I actually think I’d like that job…. so long as I could laugh and make sarcastic comments at the people who thought I wanted to hear them whine about their lives.

    Like

    • July 21, 2015 at 6:31 pm

      His “inner voice” could be out loud instead. They’d soon learn to sort out their own problems!

      Like

  7. July 21, 2015 at 5:36 pm

    Those bleeding chickens. Another piece plucked from your endless imagination, well done 🙂

    Like

    • July 21, 2015 at 6:34 pm

      You’d think (and the king would hope) that they’d’ve learned how to catch the chickens themselves by now. Poor king :-(.
      I’m glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. July 21, 2015 at 5:40 pm

    This is brilliant. Very Monty Python.

    Like

    • July 21, 2015 at 6:36 pm

      Thanks, it is a bit Monty Python isn’t it? 🙂
      I’m glad you enjoyed it!

      Liked by 1 person

  9. July 21, 2015 at 10:12 pm

    That was fun reading.

    Like

  10. Lyn
    July 21, 2015 at 11:05 pm

    For a quick lunch job, you done good my friend. I just hope you didn’t get indigestion 😀

    Like

  11. July 21, 2015 at 11:16 pm

    Hilarious! I wouldn’t want his job. 😀

    Like

  12. July 22, 2015 at 3:42 pm

    A most entertaining take on the prompt! Thanks for the laughs and sharing.

    Like

    • July 22, 2015 at 6:58 pm

      I’m glad you liked it! Being a king isn’t always all it’s cracked up to be.

      Liked by 1 person

  13. July 24, 2015 at 6:00 am

    HaHaHa! It reminds me of my old (and loved) job of Nurse Manager. “Sister!” they would cry “help us, we are out of loose tea” LOL! Like the King I was paid handsomely and someone had to it!

    Like

    • July 24, 2015 at 7:20 am

      As long as there is sufficient remuneration!

      Like

  1. July 23, 2015 at 2:55 am

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