Home > Fiction > MFTS – A Nice Story

MFTS – A Nice Story

Here is my contribution to Barbara Beacham’s Mondays Finish the Story. I apologise that this is my second flash fiction of the day, but I have been leaving things rather late this past week.

The supplied sentence to go with the prompt picture is in bold in my story, and you can read this week’s other contributions by clicking on the blue froggy.

2015-07-20-bw-beacham

Copyright B. W. Beacham

 

The petroglyphs told the story of an unusual event.

“By Jove,” remarked Pinkerton-Smythe excitedly. “Look at this, Pendergast!”

The two smartly dressed gentlemen perused the carvings.

“On the right,” continued Pinkerton-Smythe, “we have an attack by wild animals, see there?”

Pendergast nodded.

“And here, look, concentric circles indicating the tribe’s wanderings to escape these attacks. Here they climb mountains in their trek – it seems as if they constructed ladders to help. We see them hunting as they walk, and here these squiggly lines, a river, undoubtedly.”

“I do see, old chap.”

“And here at last you see, bottom left, they arrive in a forest and make their home.”

“I say, this carving is exquisite! I must have it, Pinkerton-Smythe! You there, ten million for this!”

 

Five thousand years ago…

“Wumpa! What have I told you about doodling on your dad’s table top? He’ll be so mad! And where did you get that chisel? Put it back at once!”

“Aww, Mum, I bet it’ll be worth a fortune one day!”

 

  1. July 21, 2015 at 6:25 pm

    I wonder if my “engravings” in the family kitchen table will become great museum quality art someday? That would be pretty funny too.

    Like

  2. NotAPunkRocker
    July 21, 2015 at 6:44 pm

    I do believe my kid tried this. The “worth money some day…” argument, not chiseling into ancient stone (though he would argue I am really that old!).

    Like

    • July 22, 2015 at 12:40 pm

      It’s always a good fall-back excuse when you’ve wrecked something in the name of art!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. July 21, 2015 at 6:45 pm

    The first Rorschach test?

    DJ

    Like

    • July 22, 2015 at 12:40 pm

      Your interpretation would certainly speak to your character, I reckon.

      Like

  4. July 21, 2015 at 7:40 pm

    this is why I have saved all my son’s scribbles 🙂 Nice dialogues.

    Like

    • July 22, 2015 at 12:41 pm

      Thanks! Those scribblings will be worth a fortune in three thousand years 🙂 But I bet they’re priceless to you right now.

      Like

  5. July 21, 2015 at 8:24 pm

    I love these two characters! They’re just so upper-crust British! Pinkerton-Smythe interpreted the scene well, though, especially the part about the ladders. lol. I won’t discuss how many of our tables might have been ‘worth a fortune’ one day, had they not come in handy on November 5th. Great story!

    Like

    • July 22, 2015 at 12:42 pm

      Oh no, you didn’t go and burn one-day-possibly-priceless art, did you? 🙂
      I’m glad you liked my two “English gentlemen”!

      Liked by 1 person

      • July 22, 2015 at 1:07 pm

        I was never sure what went up in smoke when my husband wanted a clear out, or Bonfire Night arrived. He may well have destroyed a future masterpiece. We have a couple of good artists amongst our offspring. 🙂
        Loved the names of your gentlemen, too.

        Like

      • July 22, 2015 at 6:54 pm

        One must have a suitably upper crust name when one is a proper English gentleman, what?
        Hopefully your husband spotted and saved any future priceless works of art 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  6. July 21, 2015 at 10:40 pm

    Love it, totally went in a different direction than expected, but you always manage to do that! Great job!

    Like

    • July 22, 2015 at 12:43 pm

      I’m never one for the obvious 🙂 I’m glad you liked it.

      Like

  7. July 21, 2015 at 11:14 pm

    I love this, Ali. 🙂 The voices of Pinkerton-Smythe and Pendergast are really well done – you get a great sense of their characters just from the dialogue – and that it’s actually just an ancient child’s doodle makes it perfect!

    Like

    • July 22, 2015 at 12:44 pm

      I’m glad you liked them, I imagined them talking in my head as I wrote 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  8. July 22, 2015 at 2:17 am

    I’ll bet this story is true of a many more ancient “writings” than archaeologists would ever want to admit to! It would be embarrassing to have to remove a kid’s doodle from a museum…

    Like

    • July 22, 2015 at 12:45 pm

      I wouldn’t be surprised. I bet most of them are shopping lists. But as you say, the museums have to keep up appearances…

      Like

  9. Lyn
    July 22, 2015 at 3:15 am

    I say old chap, you’ve done a frightfully good job with this one 🙂

    Like

  10. July 22, 2015 at 5:55 am

    Lovely tale! The boy had foresight.

    Like

  11. July 22, 2015 at 12:50 pm

    I loved your “upper-crust” accent. as much as I love the Cornish dialect. You do both well. Well done, Ali. 😀 — Suzanne

    Like

    • July 22, 2015 at 6:52 pm

      I enjoy doing the “upper crust” more, I think 🙂 I’m glad you liked my story!

      Like

  12. July 22, 2015 at 3:06 pm

    A pragmatic take and a lovely satire.

    Like

    • July 22, 2015 at 6:57 pm

      Thanks! How many ancient carvings are actually doodles, I wonder?

      Liked by 1 person

      • July 23, 2015 at 4:42 am

        No body knows for sure but they are some academics bread & butter. 🙂

        Like

  13. July 22, 2015 at 3:45 pm

    Hysterical Ali! Loved the ending. Another great take on the prompt. Do you like games? Coming to a challenge soon… be well…. ^..^

    Like

  14. July 22, 2015 at 3:57 pm

    Fantastic story! And great interpretation of the petroglyphs! And the hilarious flashback 😀

    Like

    • July 22, 2015 at 7:00 pm

      I’m pretty sure that’s what it actually says. Shame it’s just juvenile scribblings 🙂
      I’m glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  15. July 22, 2015 at 8:52 pm

    Great story! They thought it was some exquisite message and all it was was a kid’s scribbles 5000 years ago! LOL! I don’t ever remember carving or drawing on our family tables but I do remember drawing on the inside roof of my grandmother’s car. She was pretty mad to say the least. LOL

    Like

  16. July 22, 2015 at 11:33 pm

    Yap, brilliant in deed.
    I love the thousands years back track. Shows just how smart Pinkerton-Smythe truly is.

    Like

    • July 23, 2015 at 11:55 am

      He had a good stab at it, but sometimes a doodle is just a doodle 🙂

      Like

  17. July 23, 2015 at 7:33 am

    It all begins that way, I guess…a bit of scribble that we don’t see coming can one day go into an art’s museum. 😉 Enjoyed your take on the prompt Ali.

    Like

    • July 23, 2015 at 11:58 am

      I wonder how many of my DraliDoodles will become masterpieces? (Answer – none of them.) 🙂
      I’m glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  18. July 23, 2015 at 6:15 pm

    First… I could hear the cultured precise tones of the gentlemen explorers… perfect! The twist…. fantastic!!! Great story!!!

    Like

    • July 23, 2015 at 8:10 pm

      I do wonder if cultured gentlemen of the age really did speak like that :-).
      I’m glad you enjoyed it!

      Liked by 1 person

  19. July 24, 2015 at 6:15 am

    Hilarious! Gotta love ancient manuscripts! ❤

    Like

  20. July 26, 2015 at 7:41 am

    Nice visualization.. 🙂 I loved the ending.. 🙂

    Like

    • July 26, 2015 at 9:56 am

      Thanks, I always like to put a little something unexpected or fun at the end to round things off 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  21. Susan Langer
    July 26, 2015 at 7:44 am

    What a cute twist at the end. 🙂

    Like

    • July 26, 2015 at 9:56 am

      Thanks, I’m glad you liked the flashback in time 🙂

      Like

  22. July 27, 2015 at 5:17 am

    love it- I can just imagine them standing around the carvings, pimms in hand, fanning themselves from the heat. its just a shame that Wumpa didn’t get to profit from his art!

    Like

    • July 27, 2015 at 8:20 am

      If only they knew! It is a shame for Wumpa. All he got was a telling off!

      Like

  23. July 27, 2015 at 8:40 am

    The mark of a true artist- tragic in life, hero in death 🙂

    Like

  1. No trackbacks yet.

Speak to me - I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: