Home > Fiction > MFTS – Trigger Happy

MFTS – Trigger Happy

It’s time for Mondays Finish the Story, Barbara Beacham’s photo/opening sentence challenge. This week’s topic was suggested by J.A. at Living Authors Society. The supplied opening sentence is in bold in my story below.

To read the other stories, click on the blue froggy.

Copyright B.W. Beacham

Copyright B.W. Beacham

 

“Where did they go?”

“Don’t know,” replied Juan.

Pedro hefted his aged assault rifle. “I don’t like this. Everyone should be here. They said to come at once.”

“Perhaps the Iron Dogs killed them? They’ve always been jealous of our cartel’s success,” replied Juan.

They slipped closer, alert for any movement.

“Silent as the grave,” whispered Juan as they approached.

“I hope ‘grave’ is not an apt choice of words, my friend.”

The pair entered the open courtyard, trigger fingers twitching. Suddenly there was movement all around as yelling shapes jumped out of the shadows.

“SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTH…”

Taken completely by surprise, the pair’s combat training took over.

“RAT-A-TAT-A-TAT!”

Bullets flew, blood sprayed in a red mist, bodies blew apart. In seconds it was over.

“Oh, shit,” said Juan, as a bullet-ridden banner proclaiming “Happy Birthday, Juan!” fluttered sadly to the ground.

Pedro picked his way through the carnage of Juan’s family to a trestle table. “Happy birthday, man. Cake?”

 

  1. NotAPunkRocker
    August 11, 2015 at 6:20 pm

    Oh dear… :/

    Like

  2. August 11, 2015 at 6:28 pm

    Ahahaha! 😀

    Like

  3. August 11, 2015 at 7:28 pm

    Ditto on the Oh dear! Pedro wasn’t concerned, cake anyone. Juan? Maybe he has a big inheritance coming? An amazing scene, to rival any from The Game of Thrones. Well done!

    Like

    • August 11, 2015 at 7:45 pm

      I expect Juan will inherit the cartel now. I fear Pedro may be a bit sociopathic 🙂
      I’m glad you liked it!

      Like

  4. August 11, 2015 at 7:50 pm

    Oh my! Am still in shock.

    Like

    • August 11, 2015 at 7:55 pm

      Not the most successful of birthday parties. Still, they were leaders of a drug cartel and probably had blood on their hands.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. August 11, 2015 at 9:21 pm

    Love the dark humour!

    Like

  6. August 11, 2015 at 9:35 pm

    I love Pedro’s reaction! An amusing (if somewhat twisted) story. 🙂 Well done.

    Like

    • August 12, 2015 at 7:29 am

      He didn’t really seem to care, did he? Glad you liked it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  7. August 11, 2015 at 10:46 pm

    :O Flip, remnd me never to have a surprise party for you. That was a little bit of Juan, Bam, thank you Ma’am lol Loved it 🙂

    Like

    • August 12, 2015 at 7:31 am

      Ha ha 🙂
      Yeah, you never know when my combat skills might suddenly kick in! Glad you liked it.

      Like

  8. August 11, 2015 at 10:52 pm

    Bwahahaha! FUNNY! So hilarious! Sounds like he had a “fun” birthday – just blew away his friends. Hahaha!

    Like

    • August 12, 2015 at 7:39 am

      I’m sure he’ll see the funny side once he realises he’s now boss of the cartel 🙂
      I’m glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Lata Sunil
    August 12, 2015 at 3:32 am

    Owww.. What a gruesome error! Juan will never forget this birthday!

    Like

  10. August 12, 2015 at 4:38 am

    Dark indeed. The thing is, if the family is part of a drug cartel, should those two eat the cake without worry? There’s sometimes “no honor among thieves.” 😦 Well done, Ali. 🙂 — Suzanne

    Like

    • August 12, 2015 at 7:40 am

      True, they could be lying in a heap with everyone else soon enough! Glad you liked it.

      Like

  11. August 12, 2015 at 5:11 pm

    Ooops! Had me laughing again Ali with that last line. Well done! Thanks for another great story for the MFtS challenge. Be well… ^..^

    Like

    • August 12, 2015 at 8:02 pm

      Pedro likes his cake 🙂
      I’m glad you enjoyed it!

      Like

  12. August 13, 2015 at 12:52 am

    The important thing to take away from this story is that the cake was unscathed. Thank goodness for that!
    Great job.

    Like

  13. August 13, 2015 at 1:19 am

    HaHaHaHa! 😀

    Like

  14. August 13, 2015 at 3:29 pm

    Well that’s a birthday Jean will never forget.

    Like

    • August 13, 2015 at 3:51 pm

      One for the record books for sure! Poor chap.

      Liked by 1 person

      • August 15, 2015 at 3:36 pm

        Yeah, like next year there won’t be any one around to remember his birthday.

        Like

      • August 15, 2015 at 4:11 pm

        😦
        There’s always Pedro!

        Like

      • August 16, 2015 at 8:48 pm

        Mmmm. Not sure that’s a good substitute.

        Like

      • August 17, 2015 at 6:56 am

        No. I think Pedro’s 3 shells short of a howitzer.

        Liked by 1 person

      • August 17, 2015 at 10:15 pm

        LOL.

        Like

  15. August 13, 2015 at 6:44 pm

    Seems like you were in mood for some cake when writing this 🙂 Chilling story -but the last line turns it kinda funny. Nicely done.

    Like

    • August 14, 2015 at 7:19 am

      Thanks! I didn’t have the heart to splatter the cake all over the place. A sliver lining for Juan’s cloud 🙂

      Like

  16. August 13, 2015 at 7:37 pm

    Serves them all right! There is nothing more evil than throwing someone a surprise birthday party…

    Like

    • August 14, 2015 at 7:20 am

      Yeah! They made their own coffin, now they’ve got to lie in it.

      Like

  17. Lyn
    August 13, 2015 at 9:17 pm

    LOL D-man at his best 😀

    Like

    • August 14, 2015 at 7:22 am

      It’s classic draliman this week 🙂

      Like

  18. August 13, 2015 at 10:34 pm

    Maybe not every family should have surprise parties. Probably not the best choice, huh 🙂

    Like

    • August 14, 2015 at 7:22 am

      Never surprise a man with a loaded assault rifle 🙂

      Like

  19. August 16, 2015 at 1:14 pm

    Oops.. I don’t think they’re going to get any invites to social dos for a while! Great story drali 🙂

    Like

    • August 16, 2015 at 3:22 pm

      I fear you may be correct. They’re a bit too twitchy! Glad you liked it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  20. August 17, 2015 at 1:37 pm

    Oh dear…. a bit of an over-reaction to a surprise ‘Happy Birthday’! These two obviously don’t like surprises . Great story, with an ending to put me right off birthday cake. 🙂

    Like

    • August 17, 2015 at 7:39 pm

      It’s their finely-honed trigger-happiness that caused the tragedy! Pretty much nothing could put me off birthday cake 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  21. September 21, 2015 at 1:42 am

    I have always wondered what would happen to surprise a trigger-happy man?

    Like

    • September 21, 2015 at 7:20 am

      Never a good idea. Happy birthday to carnage in three seconds 😦

      Liked by 1 person

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