Home > Fiction > Over Exposure

Over Exposure

I had trouble with Friday Fictioneers this week and I had trouble with this story too! Do you ever get weeks when the story just won’t come?

This photo comes from Pixabay.

Picture from Pixabay.com

Picture from Pixabay.com


“So, what do you think?”

“It’s rubbish. It’s set all wrong. I can see right through you. All I see is bones.”

“Perfect. The perfect diagnostic tool.”

“I wanted to see you in your underwear! This is no good.”

“Pig. Is that all you think about? This will help thousands in hospitals everywhere.”

“If you adjust it to see people naked, instead of selling it to a few hundred desperate hospitals you’ll sell it to three billion horny men.”

“I’m warning you…”

“Come on, Suzie…”

Dr Chapman!”

“Whatever, come on, I wanna see you with no clothes on. Twiddle the settings.”

“Right, you sexist moron, that’s it…”


Two days later…

“… and as you can see, ladies and gentlemen, even without an autopsy my Diagnosticon (patent pending) allows you to see that a scalpel penetrated the kidney area, proving that he accidentally stabbed himself in the back while delivering sexist comments…”


Categories: Fiction Tags:
  1. January 7, 2016 at 8:52 pm

    Hahahaha! He “accidentally stabbed himself in the back…” LOL! Sounds like Suzie made a good choice and has patented it as a Diagnosticon! (To heck with the horny men!) LOL! Great story Ali!


    • January 7, 2016 at 9:52 pm

      Yes, she made the moral choice. There a lot of these unlikely accidents going round!
      I’m glad you enjoyed it!


  2. January 7, 2016 at 11:39 pm

    Funny story. And to answer your question: Yes, I get weeks when the story just won’t come. I usually view the picture and let it sit in my mind while I go do something else, then I come back and try to write. It used to be I wouldn’t participate if the story didn’t come, but recently I have tried pushing myself. I’ll try freewriting whatever comes to mind and then whittle it into something. Also, remember that the picture is just a jumping off point.
    Hope that helps some.


    • January 8, 2016 at 7:51 am

      I try doing other things too. I usually view the picture when it arrives (I’ll be at work) and then let it simmer in the back of my mind in the hopes I’ll have something when I get home 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. January 8, 2016 at 1:40 am

    Sounds like suicide to me. Yep. Definitely suicide.


  4. January 8, 2016 at 3:17 am

    Ali, do you mind if I ask you to keep your stories to PG and PG13? My blog is rated as PG. I would really appreciate it. I hope this doesn’t offend you.


    • January 8, 2016 at 8:04 am

      Oops, sorry. I didn’t realise I’d crossed the line (or that it was supposed to be PG-13, or even that this story isn’t). I’ve left the story up but have removed all mention of your blog and the linkup/tag from my story to try to disassociate it but I can’t remove it from the linkup – there is no little dustbin icon. Could you please remove it from there?
      Hopefully I’ll try again next week 🙂


      • January 8, 2016 at 12:08 pm

        You didn’t need to do that Ali. I just wanted to ask you for future stories. This story is a little riche’ but it doesn’t need to be deleted. I went along with it too in my comment.


      • January 8, 2016 at 12:46 pm

        Please Ali, don’t take offense to it. I don’t mean for you to have to delete this wonderful story – I wouldn’t even think of it. I just wanted you to keep it in mind for future stories and I really do hope you continue to participate.


        • January 8, 2016 at 1:55 pm

          It’s fine, thanks. For future reference I’m guessing it’s the sexism/implied nudity theme which did it rather than the death, as I’ve read stories this week with very dark themes and quite graphic deaths, so I’ll avoid that in future.


  5. January 8, 2016 at 8:09 am

    I love it, Ali. He stabbed himself in the back. It could happen–especially when someone makes the wrong remarks. Hilarious. 😀 — Suzanne


    • January 8, 2016 at 8:18 am

      Yes, these unfortunate accidents can happen from time to time…


  6. gentlestitches
    January 8, 2016 at 8:33 am

    LOL! Hilarious! 😀


  7. January 8, 2016 at 12:37 pm

    It always annoys me when I get an X-ray to check for kidney stones, and they want me to pull down my pants on the table. Hey, can’t that machine see through anything? Fat lot of good X-ray technology is…


    • January 8, 2016 at 12:38 pm

      Yeah, it’s weird that. Fortunately with the new Diagnosticon (patent pending) this will no longer be an issue!


  8. January 8, 2016 at 5:29 pm

    You made me laugh! Glad to see the woman winning this one!


    • January 8, 2016 at 7:18 pm

      Yep! And she’s in the clear since her machine clearly shows it to be an “accident” 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  9. January 8, 2016 at 11:14 pm

    Your sense of humor is special. 🙂


  10. January 9, 2016 at 3:45 pm

    Nice and quirky. ❤


  11. January 9, 2016 at 7:17 pm

    LOL. Sometimes it does take a while to get the story just right, but the extra thinking produces excellent results. ;0)


    • January 10, 2016 at 7:30 am

      I’m glad you liked it! Sometimes it does take a little more thinking.


  12. January 9, 2016 at 10:50 pm

    Stabbing himself in the back whilst making sexist comments sounds about right. I’m sure no one will argue with that! A fun story, Ali. 🙂


  13. January 9, 2016 at 10:52 pm

    Too much of a good thing? Nice job!


  14. January 10, 2016 at 7:53 pm

    I think he just pushed her that bit too far. Ingenious method of death. At least you eventually came up with a fun story – perseverance is evidently the key. 🙂


    • January 11, 2016 at 8:05 am

      Yes, he pushed all the wrong buttons too many times 🙂


  15. January 10, 2016 at 8:59 pm

    Serves him right … him and other horny friends.
    Glad she stuck to her guns.


  16. January 12, 2016 at 8:07 am

    and yes…I sometimes can’t get a story either. Not only did you try – which I did not – but you did a very great job at this prompt 😛


    • January 12, 2016 at 11:41 am

      Thanks, I’m glad you liked it!


  17. January 12, 2016 at 8:52 pm

    Oh yeah, there are definitely days, weeks, even a month here and there like that, where I don’t feel really creative. I usually, like you, I suspect, force myself to do some writing and see what happens. I think you’ve come up with a funny flash story here, fwiw, and enjoyable besides.That’s really one of the main purposes of writing, I think, depending on your perspective: allowing your reader to escape his/her life into an imaginary one, if only for a few minutes. So, I say, good work!


    • January 13, 2016 at 8:46 am

      At the moment I’m okay starting stories but I’m having trouble working out an decent ending.
      Thanks, I’m glad my story allowed you some escapism 🙂 That’s the reason I read too, and also the reason I always read fiction.


  1. No trackbacks yet.

Speak to me - I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: