draliman on life

Here is my post for Cee’s Share Your World. There are lots of questions this week! They were suggested by The Happy Quitter.

Happy Valentine’s Day to everyone, and happy 13th AA birthday to me :-).

What is your favourite word?
“Douchecanoe”. That’s a good word, even though it’s not really a word (though weirdly Chrome thinks it is). “Awesomesauce”. “Nincompoop”. That’s a good word too, because there’s no aggression or rancour to it.

What is your least favourite word?
“Housework”. Or maybe it’s just the idea behind that word which I don’t like.

What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
Oh gosh, these are toughies this week. Lovely nature scenes (in real life) I guess.

What turns you off?
Dog pooh. Seeing dog pooh. Smelling dog pooh. Treading in dog pooh. Pretty much everything dog pooh-related, you might say.

What is your favourite curse word?
“Gosh darn it!” (said no-one ever). Because I’m a proper gentleman. I don’t swear, that would be a naughty, naughty… oh fuck it, it’s “shit”. And “fuck”.

What sound or noise do you love?
The gurgling of water.

What sound or noise do you hate?
Vacuum cleaners. Lawn mowers. Drills. I hate any sort of loud, persistent noise. In fact, I think I may be allergic so it’s probably best that I don’t do any of those activities. And while I’m at it, the sounds of dusting and washing the car and organising my paper work. I’m allergic to those noises too. Honest, guv’.

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
International jet-setting playboy. I reckon I’d be good at that.

What profession would you not like to do?
Sanitary engineer. Dog pooh picker-upper. Call centre operative. Door-to-door salesman (do they still exist?). Anything involving talking to people.

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
“This is terribly embarrassing, but the Pearly Gates are jammed after Angel Gabriel crashed into them in his AngelMobile. Pop back down to Earth and have another go while we get them sorted, there’s a good chap. You can be an international jet-setting playboy this time, if you’d like.”