Home > Fiction > FF – Man vs Bird

FF – Man vs Bird

Here is my story for this week’s Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Roger Bultot.

To read the other stories, click on the blue froggy.

Copyright Roger Bultot

Copyright Roger Bultot

 

It was a day like any other, when…

“Woah, look up there! It’s like that film with all the birds.”

“’The Birds’?”

“Yeah, that’s the one. They’re gathering, ready to pluck out our eyeballs. Death by a thousand pecks. Man the guns!”

“Calm down, you’re overreacting. Ooh, wait, pigeon pie! Attack!”

Meanwhile, outside…

“Woah, look down there! It’s like that film with all the humans.”

“’The Humans’?”

“Yeah, that’s the one. They’re gathering, ready to shoot us out of the sky. Death by a thousand air rifles. Beaks on standby!”

“Calm down, you’re overreacting. Ooh, wait, they’ve got snacks! Attack!”

Mutually assured destruction.

 

Categories: Fiction Tags:
  1. May 4, 2016 at 4:39 pm

    Hah! That was hilarious – and I really enjoyed the nicely balanced points of view!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. May 4, 2016 at 5:45 pm

    What a gem, Ali. This made me laugh. I like how we get both POVs. I’m siding with the birds!

    Like

    • May 5, 2016 at 10:30 am

      Me too, they have the advantage of height 🙂

      Like

  3. May 4, 2016 at 5:46 pm

    I’m still laughing. GOOD one. Though a true pigeon attack (per Mel Brooks) doesn’t need beaks. Pigeons have far more lethal weapons 🙂

    Like

    • May 5, 2016 at 10:31 am

      Soften them up with a good pooping, then in for the kill 🙂

      Like

  4. May 4, 2016 at 6:26 pm

    Very true we see ourselves in others. Be they human or avain, birds of a feather

    Like

    • May 5, 2016 at 10:32 am

      Exactly. There seems to be little difference between these two side.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. May 4, 2016 at 6:29 pm

    Oh, man, I can’t tell you how very much I really seriously needed such a good laugh! You’ve really made my week with this one. ROFLMAO! and then some! 🙂

    Like

    • May 5, 2016 at 10:32 am

      I’m really glad I gave you a good laugh 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • May 5, 2016 at 11:40 am

        I just might have to print me a copy to put in my “happy” book. Seriously. I could read this one over and over.

        Like

      • May 5, 2016 at 3:39 pm

        Thank you! That would be an honour 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  6. May 4, 2016 at 6:29 pm

    Beaks on standby lol

    Like

  7. May 4, 2016 at 6:32 pm

    Ha! A great, fun twist on the prompt. I do always wonder what animals are thinking when they look at us – this could just be it 🙂

    Like

    • May 5, 2016 at 10:34 am

      I reckon so. Who knows what really goes through their minds as we wander past? 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • May 5, 2016 at 10:44 am

        I suspect it’s pretty basic -‘Is that a hawk?’ ‘Is that edible?’ ‘Get out of my territory!’ Apparently that’s all the dawn chorus is – lots of birds telling each other to clear off 🙂

        Like

      • May 5, 2016 at 3:37 pm

        And here was me thinking they were welcoming the new day… 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • May 5, 2016 at 3:51 pm

        Ah, if only nature was that sweet and reflective and not so ‘red in tooth and claw’ 🙂

        Like

  8. May 4, 2016 at 7:31 pm

    Hee Hee, laughing out loud 🙂

    Like

  9. Mike
    May 4, 2016 at 8:39 pm

    So glad you saw beyond the greyness, loved it.

    Like

    • May 5, 2016 at 10:35 am

      I’m glad you liked it! I tend to do darker stories in response to more cheerful photos.

      Like

  10. May 5, 2016 at 4:00 am

    Last one standing gets all of the pie and snacks!

    Like

    • May 5, 2016 at 10:36 am

      Me, me! And the squirrels, waiting on the sidelines for the carnage to end…

      Like

  11. May 5, 2016 at 5:24 am

    Fun and funny this week, Ali.

    Personally, I’ve never been able to watch Hitchcock’s The Birds. When I was in preschool, a little boy in our neighborhood had his skull pecked away by big blackbirds. That movie touches a little to close to reality for me. It would be a true shame if all they wanted was our snacks.

    All my best,
    MG

    Like

    • May 5, 2016 at 10:36 am

      That sounds awful. We get the occasional injury here, usually when someone is holding a pasty or ice cream cone.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. May 5, 2016 at 7:03 am

    LOL! Its like that movie with all the birds. HAHAHA!

    Like

  13. May 5, 2016 at 7:14 am

    Oh I loved this.
    Mutual destruction indeed.

    Like

  14. May 5, 2016 at 9:12 am

    Hilarious, Ali. POV’s coming from all directions. The moral of the story is “don’t carry snacks when the birds are gathering.”. Well done. 😀 — Suzanne

    Like

    • May 5, 2016 at 10:37 am

      Definitely best to keep the food out of sight 🙂

      Like

  15. Lyn
    May 5, 2016 at 10:00 am

    LOL never thought of pigeons thinking the same way as us. But, oh yes, they will definitely attack for snacks. Well written Ali. 😀

    Like

    • May 5, 2016 at 10:38 am

      We get bird attacks here all the time (usually seagulls). I had an entire ice cream cone snatched once in Newquay 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Lyn
        May 5, 2016 at 11:12 am

        And hot chips…seagulls just love hot chips!

        Like

      • May 5, 2016 at 3:37 pm

        Me too! When the seagulls let me eat any…

        Liked by 1 person

      • Lyn
        May 5, 2016 at 10:28 pm

        😀

        Like

  16. May 5, 2016 at 11:25 am

    hihi 😀

    Like

  17. May 5, 2016 at 1:04 pm

    That was fun, Alistair! Why should these attacks be one-sided! Guffaws all ’round

    Like

    • May 5, 2016 at 3:40 pm

      Exactly! Of course, it’s not going to end well 😦

      Liked by 1 person

      • May 5, 2016 at 3:45 pm

        No…that is a sad truth…😢

        Like

  18. May 5, 2016 at 1:23 pm

    Dear Ali,

    I saw The Birds as a child. Scared the youknowwhat out of me. Who knew that birds went to the movies? Oh yeah…Drive Ins. Duh. Love the two different thoughts going on here. Clever.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

    • May 5, 2016 at 3:42 pm

      Dear Rochelle,
      I was quite young when I saw it too. It freaked me out somewhat! I’m glad you liked the story!
      Ali

      Like

  19. May 5, 2016 at 3:06 pm

    Hehehe, love it. As someone above mentioned, they don’t even need beaks, gives the birds a clear advantage.

    Like

  20. May 5, 2016 at 3:20 pm

    Brilliant! It’s been a pig of a day and that really made me laugh. Thanks!

    Like

  21. May 5, 2016 at 3:46 pm

    Hahaha! Play on words – SNACK ATTACK! LOL!

    Like

  22. May 5, 2016 at 5:17 pm

    That was amazing! I liked how you wrote them from both POV.

    Like

    • May 5, 2016 at 6:39 pm

      Thanks so much! I’m glad you enjoyed it. Which reminds me, I’ll have to get back to the Limericks. I got all Limericked out there for a bit 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  23. May 5, 2016 at 6:45 pm

    I knew that snacks are deadly. Fat and salt…

    Like

  24. May 6, 2016 at 9:47 am

    Hahaha! I guess… the feeling is mutual? XD Clever take, Ali!

    Like

  25. May 6, 2016 at 1:37 pm

    ha ha. Every one has their own point of view. In this case the pigeons win! Nice story!

    Like

    • May 6, 2016 at 3:12 pm

      Never go near a hungry pigeon with a snack. I’m glad you liked it!

      Like

  26. May 6, 2016 at 6:48 pm

    it made me feel like watching a cartoon on tv. well done. 🙂

    Like

  27. May 6, 2016 at 10:55 pm

    I love this! ‘Mutually assured destruction’ indeed!

    Like

  28. mickwynn2013
    May 7, 2016 at 8:34 am

    Very funny well done. I read a newspaper story once stating that rats in London were almost at plague proportions, because there were nearly as many rats as humans in the city.I just imagined the rats reading the same story and asking, “If we’re at plague proportions and there’s less of us than you, what does that make you?”

    Like

    • May 7, 2016 at 9:54 am

      Thanks, I’m glad you liked it!
      Now, there’s an interesting thought…

      Liked by 1 person

  29. pennydanger
    May 7, 2016 at 1:31 pm

    Loved the view from both sides! The only thing is, now I’m a little scared to go out and fill up the bird bath this morning (The Birds.) lol.

    Like

    • May 7, 2016 at 2:35 pm

      You should be – they’re watching 🙂
      I’m glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

      • pennydanger
        May 7, 2016 at 2:36 pm

        Yes, I always enjoy your writing, Draliman!

        Like

      • May 7, 2016 at 2:43 pm

        Thanks 🙂

        Like

  30. May 7, 2016 at 6:39 pm

    I especially liked the birds point of view. But both made me smile. Fun story this week Ali.

    Like

    • May 8, 2016 at 5:52 am

      I’m glad you liked it! Who knew how human birds could be? 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  31. May 7, 2016 at 7:03 pm

    Made me smile – thank you 🙂

    Like

  32. May 8, 2016 at 12:35 am

    So all we need for mutually assured destruction is have bird brains in charge on both sides 😉

    Like

  33. wildchild47
    May 8, 2016 at 11:49 pm

    LOL! As so many have said, what a great twist to this story – works so well, the two perspectives …. has me laughing at how clever the birds are. 😀

    Like

    • May 9, 2016 at 7:08 am

      Yeah, they’re more clever than we think. They’re just waiting for us to slip up so they can take over!
      I’m glad you liked my story 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  34. May 9, 2016 at 1:23 am

    Haha–great story! I’d like to see “The Humans”! As always, I enjoyed the humor–“yeah, that’s the one!”

    Like

    • May 9, 2016 at 7:09 am

      “The Humans” is a real eye-opener. I’m glad you liked my story!

      Like

  35. May 10, 2016 at 8:02 am

    Funny story. The double point of view is a great approach.

    Like

    • May 10, 2016 at 8:17 am

      Thanks, I’m glad you liked it! I like to think of the birds doing the same things and thinking the same way as us 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  36. May 12, 2016 at 3:05 pm

    A great two-sided look at a the situation. Beaks versus guns … hmmm … It should be an interesting battle. Nice one.

    Like

  37. May 22, 2016 at 4:10 pm

    Loved it! I do wish that there were times we could hear both sides in a animal encounter!

    Like

  1. No trackbacks yet.

Speak to me - I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: