Home > Fiction > FF – The Importance of Specificity

FF – The Importance of Specificity

Here is my post for this week’s Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. The photo, provided by Douglas M. MacIlroy, is another redo, but this time I was around for the original.

Therefore I have done a sort of a story. It’s a bit puerile. I remember I had no real ideas the first time around either, but my original story, “Punchline”, can be found here.

I’m a bit later this week as yesterday evening I had dinner with Louise (aka afairymind from The Story Teller’s Abode) and her mum (Millie Thom) and Dad. Within minutes we were chatting like old friends, they’re just as lovely in “the real life” as in the blogosphere!

To read this week’s other stories/reruns, click on the blue froggy.

Copyright Douglas M McIlroy

Copyright Douglas M MacIlroy

“Go on!” yelled Fred excitedly. “Grab a bat and whack me! I’m invincible in this helmet, it’s indestructible! No more head trauma for me!”

Glee etched on her face, his little sister did as she was told, swinging the bat as hard as her seven-year-old arms would allow. She’d dreamed of this moment!

THWACK!

Inside the diver’s helmet, Fred’s eyes widened in shock. His mouth gaped open, and with a barely audible “ugh” he slumped to the ground, clutching his splattered groin.

The moral of this story? Say what you mean. Be specific. Because squashed nads hurt. Like, a lot.

  1. Holly
    June 9, 2016 at 6:13 pm

    Gonna need a bigger helmet!

    Liked by 1 person

    • June 9, 2016 at 7:29 pm

      Maybe he becomes the inventor of the full-body helmet. He’ll have tons of time to work on it now he can’t have kids 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. June 9, 2016 at 6:14 pm

    haha–oh no! Siblings are always there to teach us important life lessons!

    Liked by 1 person

    • June 9, 2016 at 7:29 pm

      It’s their job! That and being annoying.

      Like

  3. June 9, 2016 at 6:15 pm

    Oh dear!
    Poor boy.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. June 9, 2016 at 6:27 pm

    Oh man I saw where this was going and I still laughed so hard. Specifics sometimes are very important, lol.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. June 9, 2016 at 6:35 pm

    And please, avoid the indefinite article “it.” So many painful misunderstanding are caused by “it.”

    Liked by 1 person

  6. June 9, 2016 at 6:58 pm

    Hahaha… Another hilarious post… Made me smile😀

    Liked by 1 person

  7. June 9, 2016 at 8:46 pm

    YIKES! That was … painful to imagine.
    This is something of a departure.
    Yes, specificity is crucial.
    Vividly written. Too vividly written.
    🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. June 9, 2016 at 9:23 pm

    Ha ha! Hilarious. At least for me, not for him of course! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • June 10, 2016 at 6:47 am

      Feel free to laugh – he won’t notice!

      Like

  9. June 10, 2016 at 12:02 am

    Lol! I love this story!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. June 10, 2016 at 1:39 am

    Looks like no nieces and nephews for little sister in the future…

    What’s up with FF recycling pictures like they’re a finite resource? Take out the camera… press the button… voila, a brand new story prompt!

    Liked by 1 person

    • June 10, 2016 at 6:48 am

      Nope, his dreams of a large brood are sadly over 😦

      I think since people are having holidays and whatnot at this time of year this gives busy people a chance to re-post a previous story.

      Like

  11. June 10, 2016 at 2:00 am

    Oh the dilemma! Should I read this story first and your other one next or the other way around? I think as a “reader” I like to read the original last and see how much the latest was influenced by it. LOL! The first story made me laugh and the second made me wince! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • June 10, 2016 at 6:49 am

      I still haven’t thought up a punchline 🙂 I just thought, I could have continued this one from the last one but still not reached the end of the joke!

      Liked by 1 person

  12. June 10, 2016 at 2:40 am

    Guffaw! This was definitely a laugh out loud followed by a cringe one!

    Liked by 1 person

    • June 10, 2016 at 6:50 am

      Having this happen to oneself is too horrible to contemplate 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  13. June 10, 2016 at 3:52 am

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Ohhh, that SMARTS! Still laughing here.

    She had the bat and he didn’t have the … you know the rest.

    Five out of five Lorenas. For the sister, anyway.

    Liked by 1 person

    • June 10, 2016 at 6:52 am

      One helmet does not body armour make.
      The sister did do good, she deserved her five Lorenas!

      Liked by 1 person

  14. June 10, 2016 at 5:58 am

    good advice, but too late for fred. 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  15. June 10, 2016 at 7:28 am

    I love it – but then again I’m a big fan of puerile 😀 You made me laugh out loud. Clever title too.

    Liked by 1 person

    • June 10, 2016 at 7:35 am

      I like to post a somewhat childish story now and again! I’m glad you liked it 🙂

      Like

  16. June 10, 2016 at 8:35 am

    Oh my gosh, Ali!. You’ve maimed another character. I’m female and it even made me flinch. Humorous, though, in a flinching sort of way. 😀 — Suzanne

    Liked by 1 person

    • June 10, 2016 at 10:15 am

      It’s like I can’t help myself 🙂

      Like

  17. June 10, 2016 at 9:31 am

    I’m cringing for him, poor lad.

    Liked by 1 person

    • June 10, 2016 at 10:16 am

      All around the world, bloggers are cringing in sympathy 🙂

      Like

  18. June 10, 2016 at 2:16 pm

    Hahahaha! She’s a bit short to be aiming for the head! LOL! I think it is lovely that you had dinner with Louise and Millie! Great story, Ali!

    Liked by 1 person

    • June 10, 2016 at 2:40 pm

      Yes, he should really have taken her height into account 🙂
      It was a lovely dinner and chat with Louise and her parents!

      Liked by 1 person

  19. June 10, 2016 at 2:56 pm

    Ouch..MOL 😀 Pawkisses for a Happy Weekend 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  20. June 10, 2016 at 4:17 pm

    The first story sounds like me trying to tell a joke–I never get the punchline right.
    The second one has me in stitches. He is lucky that these seven-year-old arms probably aren’t strong enough for lasting damage. I wonder why she’s waited for this for a long time though…

    Liked by 1 person

    • June 11, 2016 at 5:36 am

      That’s like my mum too – she gets part way through a joke and then has to ask my dad what happens next!
      His sister’s very polite – she waited to be asked before whacking him with the bat. What a good girl 🙂

      Like

  21. June 10, 2016 at 5:30 pm

    Hahahahaha…this is the best one yet! The moral of the story is SO important. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • June 11, 2016 at 5:39 am

      Let’s just hope that Fred has learned something after this! I’m glad you liked it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  22. Lyn
    June 10, 2016 at 9:13 pm

    Oh my… a foregone conclusion as to what was going to happen, but even then you can’t help but LOL. Specificity is definitely not optional 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • June 11, 2016 at 5:42 am

      Sometimes knowing what’s going to happen makes it funnier 🙂 Let’s hope he’s learned his lesson.

      Liked by 1 person

  23. June 11, 2016 at 8:07 am

    Dear Ali,

    Fred should definitely been more specific. Ouch! Yeah, I laughed.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    • June 11, 2016 at 3:54 pm

      Dear Rochelle,
      Well, we can only hope he’s learned his lesson 🙂
      Ali

      Like

  24. June 11, 2016 at 4:36 pm

    My favorite topic 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  25. June 11, 2016 at 9:03 pm

    Ouch… This was nuts you might say.. you made me cross my legs. How great to meat with real people from the blogosphere…

    Liked by 1 person

    • June 12, 2016 at 5:55 am

      I’m sure you were not the only one with the sympathetic leg-crossing!
      It was great to meet bloggers in real life. I’ve always wanted to, this was the first time for me.

      Like

  26. June 12, 2016 at 9:14 am

    Oh dear! I hope his little sister hasn’t caused too much damage! And it was wonderful for us to meet up with you, too. 🙂

    Like

    • June 12, 2016 at 4:35 pm

      I’m sure he’ll recover. Or not. He didn’t really want kids anyway 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  27. June 13, 2016 at 9:18 am

    Funny. I think there must have been a bit of history between these two. Poor brother – splattered and squashed – yikes.

    Like

    • June 13, 2016 at 2:04 pm

      I think she’s been waiting for this chance for ages 🙂

      Like

  28. June 13, 2016 at 4:10 pm

    LOL…that’s rich!

    Like

  29. June 13, 2016 at 10:09 pm

    ha ha. No nephews and neices for this little sister when she grows up 🙂

    Like

    • June 14, 2016 at 3:36 pm

      Sadly she’s ruined him in that department 🙂

      Like

  30. June 15, 2016 at 3:20 pm

    Be specific…nice moral of the story. 😉 I had a good laugh reading this. 🙂

    Like

  31. June 17, 2016 at 2:46 pm

    Yep, with kids, if you aren’t specific in your instructions, you’re in for trouble. And so much for the invincibility conferred by that helmet! 🙂

    Like

    • June 17, 2016 at 3:41 pm

      Kids will twist things to suit themselves 🙂
      Sadly only his head was invincible 😦

      Like

  32. August 4, 2016 at 2:04 pm

    Ugh, that sounds painful. But I love the helmet! Where did you get that?

    Like

    • August 4, 2016 at 5:54 pm

      I’m guessing it was awfully painful. You’d have to ask Doug M. where he got the helmet, or took the photo 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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