Home > Fiction > FF – Grid of Doom

FF – Grid of Doom

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Roger Bultot.

To read the other stories, click on the blue froggy.

Copyright Roger Bultot

Copyright Roger Bultot

 

“That’s some security.”

“Keep running!”

“It’s just like in ‘Resident Evil’.”

“Which didn’t end well. Keep running!”

The men burst through the door and fell, gasping. Behind them the laser grid flickered out, having chased them down the (now sliced and diced) stairway.

“Talk about your lethal response. Anyone would think they had the crown jewels in there!” said one.

“They did.” The other opened the bag to reveal crowns, necklaces and other bejewelled goodies.

“Awesome! Good job they didn’t have a backup system.”

Neither man noticed the ticking emanating from a suspiciously large sceptre at the bottom of the bag…

 

  1. September 21, 2016 at 5:52 pm

    A ticking sceptre, eh? Perhaps a political allegory to be found here? Great story!

    Like

  2. September 21, 2016 at 6:29 pm

    I read a tickling sceptre first and that made me giggle hard (that would be more efficient and less messy way to capture the thieves though)

    Like

  3. September 21, 2016 at 6:37 pm

    They let down their guard far too quickly. Good one, Ali!

    Like

  4. September 21, 2016 at 6:58 pm

    Oops! Not enough planning perhaps?

    Like

    • September 22, 2016 at 10:39 am

      They should have known about all security arrangements before going in 🙂

      Like

  5. September 21, 2016 at 7:21 pm

    Yay! It’s been a long day and I was hoping you’d written something funny this week. Now I can unwind!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. September 21, 2016 at 7:24 pm

    Somehow I don’t think things are going to end well! Great story, Ali.

    Like

  7. September 21, 2016 at 7:54 pm

    Ha, great last line. A shame it won’t end well for them. Great take on the prompt.

    Like

  8. September 21, 2016 at 8:34 pm

    best laid plans….
    Randy

    Like

    • September 22, 2016 at 10:42 am

      And this wasn’t even a best laid plan 🙂

      Like

  9. September 21, 2016 at 9:29 pm

    Oh dear, all those lovely crowns and things blown to bits! Not enough reconnaissance gets them every time 😉

    Like

    • September 22, 2016 at 10:43 am

      Yeah, seems a shame for all the jewels to get blown up 🙂

      Like

  10. September 21, 2016 at 10:30 pm

    A technologically advanced, state of the art, futuristic laser defense system… and then they use something as crude as a ticking time bomb as a fallback option for thieves? How terribly unclever of the security staff. I think a scene like in Raiders of the Lost Ark when they opened the bag would have been more fitting…

    Liked by 1 person

  11. September 22, 2016 at 1:06 am

    I want a bomb made by acme. One of the round black ones with the fuse. And roadrunner, going beep beep!

    Like

    • September 22, 2016 at 10:43 am

      With “bomb” or “TNT” written on it.

      Like

  12. September 22, 2016 at 3:04 am

    Heh. Love the thieves getting past the hi-tech to be taken down by the contingency plan. Great story!

    Like

    • September 22, 2016 at 10:44 am

      They’ll probably be keeping an eye out for miniaturised drone bots when the ticking stops…

      Like

  13. Lata Sunil
    September 22, 2016 at 4:10 am

    Thats not like in the movies.. they should get to enjoy the loot.

    Like

    • September 22, 2016 at 10:44 am

      They’ll get to enjoy the loot for another few minutes 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  14. September 22, 2016 at 12:39 pm

    Uh-oh, that doesn’t sound good. Great tension. Good writing, Ali. 🙂 — Suzanne

    Like

    • September 22, 2016 at 12:42 pm

      Not good at all 🙂
      I’m glad you liked it!

      Like

  15. September 22, 2016 at 1:00 pm

    Hahaha! YES! I love it! Suspense, action-packed, gonna go out with a bang.

    Five out of five Hopeless Diamonds.

    Like

  16. September 22, 2016 at 1:36 pm

    If one of them was silly enough not to know the jewels where in there, I am not surprised they missed the device.

    Like

  17. September 22, 2016 at 1:43 pm

    Tsk, that’s where greed and bad planning gets you. A great read, I love it.

    Like

    • September 22, 2016 at 1:59 pm

      Greed, bad planning and lack of observational skills. I’m glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  18. September 22, 2016 at 6:35 pm

    Natural selection in play.

    Like

  19. September 23, 2016 at 12:43 am

    They thought it was safe to let their guard down, even for a second! 😀

    Like

  20. September 23, 2016 at 4:27 pm

    Great last line, another plan that didn’t quite work out. Loved it

    Like

    • September 24, 2016 at 5:02 am

      I guess it’ll end in two deaths just like your story too. Glad you liked it!

      Like

  21. September 23, 2016 at 9:17 pm

    Dear Ali,

    Do I hear “Darwin Award?” Funny.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

    • September 24, 2016 at 5:02 am

      Dear Rochelle,
      That came to my mind too! I’m glad you liked it 🙂
      Ali

      Like

  22. September 24, 2016 at 9:44 pm

    I think these guys were in a little over their heads. They got close anyway! Funny story, Ali.

    Like

    • September 25, 2016 at 5:54 am

      And they’ll go out with a bang 🙂
      I’m glad you liked it!

      Like

  23. September 25, 2016 at 2:11 pm

    I think perhaps those two crooks are going to end up’ sliced and diced’ (or equivalent!), too. Perhaps they should have looked more carefully for a backup system. 🙂

    Like

    • September 25, 2016 at 4:39 pm

      Yeah, they were so pleased to have evaded the laser grid…

      Liked by 1 person

  24. September 25, 2016 at 11:49 pm

    Oh no, back up security. Love the Resident Evil reference which totally made me grin.

    Like

    • September 26, 2016 at 9:16 am

      That bit in Resident Evil always makes me wince 🙂

      Like

  25. September 26, 2016 at 1:35 pm

    There is nothing like an ending with something ticking at the bottom of the bag. You know there is more to come.

    Like

    • September 27, 2016 at 7:14 am

      Indeed. Though I’m sure our protagonists will wish there was not more to come!

      Like

  26. September 26, 2016 at 5:55 pm

    Very nice ending, just when I was thinking they got away with it!

    Like

  27. September 27, 2016 at 2:10 am

    They should be easy to find shortly, at least parts of them. 😉

    Like

    • September 27, 2016 at 7:21 am

      Ha! They’ve gone all to pieces and lost their heads 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  28. September 29, 2016 at 8:07 am

    Silly thieves – of course they had a backup system. I love where it is – I wonder what happens when the sceptre stops ticking. Great story. Love it.

    Like

    • September 29, 2016 at 8:31 am

      I think when the sceptre stops ticking, so do they!
      I’m glad you liked it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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