FF – Bigger and Better Things
Here is my post for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was submitted by C.E. Ayr.
I was initially stumped, then I decided to write a fun little story and then halfway through it all went a bit dark :-(.
To read this week’s other stories, click on the blue froggy.

Copyright C.E. Ayr
Richie eased himself to the ground and stared at the reflections in the duck pond. He retrieved a small bag of bread and began throwing in crumbs, just because.
There hadn’t actually been any ducks in the pond since he’d gotten that air rifle six Christmases ago.
Bubbles rose to the surface, followed by a large sports bag. Huffing, he unzipped the bag, dropped in another rock and watched in satisfaction as the bag sank – properly this time.
Ducks had been fun, but he was all grown up now and animals just weren’t enough anymore.
That is dark
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Yep. Don’t know how that happened!
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Oh dear… what a wretched one, Richie is…
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Not a nice fellow at all.
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Boy did you draw me in, thinking that dear Richie was almost a nice boy. Well penned.
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He kinda was when I started…
I’m glad you liked it!
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Dark tale. Very well written. I wonder who was in the bag?
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Maybe someone random, maybe someone very carefully stalked and chosen…
I’m glad you enjoyed it!
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Yikes. Extremely morbid, but excellent.
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I’m glad you liked it, “morbid” notwithstanding 🙂
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This sheds a new light on drowning in the pond.
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Yep. Though I suspect the victim was dead before their unscheduled bath!
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I think we imagined the very same thing… down to the bubbles. A sportsbag is amateurish though… he will be caught.
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Just read yours – we certainly did go off down a rather dark path!
You’re right about the sports bag though. He’s just starting out, he’s bound to make mistakes…
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That one gave me the shivers. Where do you GET these ideas? Yikes, what a brain!
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Yeah, my brain’s a creepy place sometimes. It was supposed to be a thoughtful story about a poor lad all alone, not sure how he turned into a wannabe serial killer…
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I wonder how many he’ll kill before anyone catches him. Wonderfully dark story, Ali. 🙂
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Hopefully not too many. Someone needs to catch him before he gets “good”. I’m glad you liked it!
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Was not expecting that! Delightfully scary, indeed! 🙂
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I wasn’t expecting that when I started either! I’m glad you liked it 🙂
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It begins with small animals…
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So I’ve heard…
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You’re right, It did go dark. Randy
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I did indeed!
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What a heartwarming tale! I can totally see that being made into a children’s picture book…
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Could it be Buster in the bag…? The kiddies could guess! We’ll call it “Who’s in the bag, Mummy?”
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Oh dear. I can see his sinister smile! Well done, Ali!
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Thanks, a sinister smile of grim satisfaction!
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It certainly did go dark! Whatever next?
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Someone lent me a set of Dexter books. Great bedtime reading, not affecting me at all!
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Ew, Ali. That was really dark. Good writing, though. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed it!
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Dear Ali
Dark indeed. Richie’s quite the psycho. The last line made me shudder.
Shalom,
Rochelle.
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Dear Rochelle,
He is. And he’s working his way up…
Ali
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Okay, that is definitely dark and psychotic, but wow! Intriguing nonetheless and well written.
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I’m glad I’m not living in that part of town! I’m glad you liked it 🙂
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Creepy! I wonder how many Richies there are out there? (((shudder)))
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Too many… 😦
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sad, he grew up into a monster. 😦
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Sadly so 😦
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Superbly written!
Just out of curiosity, why did Richie dump the bag in such a small body of water? Why not a big lake or river?
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Thanks!
I think he’s just starting out on “big” things and he’s staying within his comfort zone. And/or he’s an idiot 🙂
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Both would make sense. 🙂 Maybe deep inside, he wants to be caught. Hopefully, he’ll be locked up soon, before he hurts anyone else!
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You could be right. I hope so to!
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Oh my, we have a proper serial killer here. Scary stuff, nicely done!
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We do. Sooner or later he’ll need to move to a larger town…
I’m glad you liked it!
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That’s a mighty convoluted way of getting out of PE.
Kind of interesting that it’s called a ‘small body of water’ by one of your readers…
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Yeah, more like “water full of small bodies”!
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This one will stick with me for a long while. Nicely crafted and way dark!
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Thanks, I’m glad you liked it! And it was supposed to be such a thoughtful and quiet piece when I started. Funny how things can change mid-story 🙂
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Yes! It’s like the story begins to write itself.
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Don’t you just love it when that happens 🙂
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Yes! That’s when I know I’m really on to something. 🙂
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He’s a bad ‘un! Very realistic. He seemed harmless at the start and then his true character was revealed.
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Isn’t it often the way with people like him – “he seemed like such a nice man… very quiet… hard to believe…”
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Well done, you sucked me in and I was feeling sorry for him being alone. Then bam you hit me with him being a killer.
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Turns out there’s a reason he’s alone…
I’m glad you enjoyed it, and the reveal!
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It certainly did take a dark turn! I love the very clever way that you used this childish imagery to make us feel comfortable and then threw us into the deep end, so to speak. Great story!
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I like lulling people into a false sense of security only to rip it away at the end 🙂
I’m glad you liked it!
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I think someone is asking to put in the bag soon..very soon… Pawkisses 🙂 ❤
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I think so too, the nasty chap.
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Oh my…you did go dark! Good story. The ending was perfect.
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Real dark! I’m glad you liked it 🙂
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Ugh, that makes me a bit nauseous. The image of the bag bubbling up… and then opening it… ugh. Not a nice guy that one. Great writing though. 🙂
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More rocks next time 🙂
I’m glad you enjoyed the writing!
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Very well written! Richie has definitely grown into an evil man. I’m guessing there’s a body in that bag… a human one, I mean. I also wonder whether something went wrong in his earlier life to make him turn killer. Let’s hope the bag surfaces again when Richie’s not around, and someone else finds it.
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Yep, that’s exactly what’s in the bag. All chopped up, probably 😦
Hopefully he’ll get caught soon. I don’t think the dick pond is very deep!
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Eek!
Ellespeth
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Yep 🙂
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Ooohh no laughing for me this week!
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I’d be worried if you did 🙂
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I like how you’ve shown his ‘progress’ from ducks to whatever’s in that bag. Very mysterious and atmospheric.
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Apparently these people often start with small animals and work their way “up”…
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The human mind is a dark place to rummage in.
🙂
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It is indeed. I’d hate to be a psychologist tasked to deal with minds like his.
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I liked the sentence explaining why there were no more ducks in the pond.
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Thanks, I wanted a strong implication without having to come right out and say it.
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