Home > Fiction > FF – Bigger and Better Things

FF – Bigger and Better Things

Here is my post for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was submitted by C.E. Ayr.

I was initially stumped, then I decided to write a fun little story and then halfway through it all went a bit dark :-(.

To read this week’s other stories, click on the blue froggy.


Copyright C.E. Ayr

Copyright C.E. Ayr

Richie eased himself to the ground and stared at the reflections in the duck pond. He retrieved a small bag of bread and began throwing in crumbs, just because.

There hadn’t actually been any ducks in the pond since he’d gotten that air rifle six Christmases ago.

Bubbles rose to the surface, followed by a large sports bag. Huffing, he unzipped the bag, dropped in another rock and watched in satisfaction as the bag sank – properly this time.

Ducks had been fun, but he was all grown up now and animals just weren’t enough anymore.

 

  1. October 5, 2016 at 5:56 pm

    That is dark

    Like

    • October 6, 2016 at 7:16 am

      Yep. Don’t know how that happened!

      Like

  2. October 5, 2016 at 5:58 pm

    Oh dear… what a wretched one, Richie is…

    Like

  3. October 5, 2016 at 6:33 pm

    Boy did you draw me in, thinking that dear Richie was almost a nice boy. Well penned.

    Like

    • October 6, 2016 at 7:19 am

      He kinda was when I started…
      I’m glad you liked it!

      Like

  4. October 5, 2016 at 7:42 pm

    Dark tale. Very well written. I wonder who was in the bag?

    Like

    • October 6, 2016 at 7:20 am

      Maybe someone random, maybe someone very carefully stalked and chosen…
      I’m glad you enjoyed it!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. October 5, 2016 at 8:01 pm

    Yikes. Extremely morbid, but excellent.

    Like

    • October 6, 2016 at 7:21 am

      I’m glad you liked it, “morbid” notwithstanding πŸ™‚

      Like

  6. October 5, 2016 at 8:10 pm

    This sheds a new light on drowning in the pond.

    Like

    • October 6, 2016 at 7:22 am

      Yep. Though I suspect the victim was dead before their unscheduled bath!

      Like

  7. October 5, 2016 at 8:21 pm

    I think we imagined the very same thing… down to the bubbles. A sportsbag is amateurish though… he will be caught.

    Like

    • October 6, 2016 at 7:23 am

      Just read yours – we certainly did go off down a rather dark path!
      You’re right about the sports bag though. He’s just starting out, he’s bound to make mistakes…

      Like

  8. October 5, 2016 at 8:26 pm

    That one gave me the shivers. Where do you GET these ideas? Yikes, what a brain!

    Like

    • October 6, 2016 at 7:24 am

      Yeah, my brain’s a creepy place sometimes. It was supposed to be a thoughtful story about a poor lad all alone, not sure how he turned into a wannabe serial killer…

      Like

  9. October 5, 2016 at 8:57 pm

    I wonder how many he’ll kill before anyone catches him. Wonderfully dark story, Ali. πŸ™‚

    Like

    • October 6, 2016 at 7:26 am

      Hopefully not too many. Someone needs to catch him before he gets “good”. I’m glad you liked it!

      Like

  10. October 5, 2016 at 10:09 pm

    Was not expecting that! Delightfully scary, indeed! πŸ™‚

    Like

    • October 6, 2016 at 7:28 am

      I wasn’t expecting that when I started either! I’m glad you liked it πŸ™‚

      Like

  11. October 6, 2016 at 12:11 am

    It begins with small animals…

    Like

  12. October 6, 2016 at 1:59 am

    You’re right, It did go dark. Randy

    Like

  13. October 6, 2016 at 4:07 am

    What a heartwarming tale! I can totally see that being made into a children’s picture book…

    Like

    • October 6, 2016 at 7:35 am

      Could it be Buster in the bag…? The kiddies could guess! We’ll call it “Who’s in the bag, Mummy?”

      Like

  14. October 6, 2016 at 6:00 am

    Oh dear. I can see his sinister smile! Well done, Ali!

    Like

    • October 6, 2016 at 7:36 am

      Thanks, a sinister smile of grim satisfaction!

      Like

  15. October 6, 2016 at 6:44 am

    It certainly did go dark! Whatever next?

    Like

    • October 6, 2016 at 7:37 am

      Someone lent me a set of Dexter books. Great bedtime reading, not affecting me at all!

      Liked by 1 person

  16. October 6, 2016 at 7:00 am

    Ew, Ali. That was really dark. Good writing, though. πŸ™‚ — Suzanne

    Like

    • October 6, 2016 at 7:37 am

      Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed it!

      Like

  17. October 6, 2016 at 10:17 am

    Dear Ali

    Dark indeed. Richie’s quite the psycho. The last line made me shudder.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle.

    Like

    • October 6, 2016 at 12:09 pm

      Dear Rochelle,
      He is. And he’s working his way up…
      Ali

      Like

  18. October 6, 2016 at 3:02 pm

    Okay, that is definitely dark and psychotic, but wow! Intriguing nonetheless and well written.

    Like

    • October 6, 2016 at 3:39 pm

      I’m glad I’m not living in that part of town! I’m glad you liked it πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  19. October 6, 2016 at 4:04 pm

    Creepy! I wonder how many Richies there are out there? (((shudder)))

    Like

  20. October 6, 2016 at 11:17 pm

    sad, he grew up into a monster. 😦

    Like

  21. October 7, 2016 at 2:47 am

    Superbly written!
    Just out of curiosity, why did Richie dump the bag in such a small body of water? Why not a big lake or river?

    Like

    • October 7, 2016 at 6:49 am

      Thanks!
      I think he’s just starting out on “big” things and he’s staying within his comfort zone. And/or he’s an idiot πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      • October 7, 2016 at 2:42 pm

        Both would make sense. πŸ™‚ Maybe deep inside, he wants to be caught. Hopefully, he’ll be locked up soon, before he hurts anyone else!

        Like

      • October 8, 2016 at 5:05 am

        You could be right. I hope so to!

        Liked by 1 person

  22. October 7, 2016 at 1:14 pm

    Oh my, we have a proper serial killer here. Scary stuff, nicely done!

    Like

    • October 8, 2016 at 5:03 am

      We do. Sooner or later he’ll need to move to a larger town…
      I’m glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  23. October 7, 2016 at 5:55 pm

    That’s a mighty convoluted way of getting out of PE.
    Kind of interesting that it’s called a ‘small body of water’ by one of your readers…

    Like

    • October 8, 2016 at 5:06 am

      Yeah, more like “water full of small bodies”!

      Like

  24. October 7, 2016 at 10:25 pm

    This one will stick with me for a long while. Nicely crafted and way dark!

    Like

    • October 8, 2016 at 5:17 am

      Thanks, I’m glad you liked it! And it was supposed to be such a thoughtful and quiet piece when I started. Funny how things can change mid-story πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      • October 8, 2016 at 9:25 am

        Yes! It’s like the story begins to write itself.

        Like

      • October 9, 2016 at 5:15 am

        Don’t you just love it when that happens πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      • October 9, 2016 at 2:46 pm

        Yes! That’s when I know I’m really on to something. πŸ™‚

        Like

  25. October 8, 2016 at 10:50 am

    He’s a bad ‘un! Very realistic. He seemed harmless at the start and then his true character was revealed.

    Like

    • October 9, 2016 at 5:17 am

      Isn’t it often the way with people like him – “he seemed like such a nice man… very quiet… hard to believe…”

      Like

  26. Life Lessons of a Dog Lover
    October 8, 2016 at 6:01 pm

    Well done, you sucked me in and I was feeling sorry for him being alone. Then bam you hit me with him being a killer.

    Like

    • October 9, 2016 at 5:20 am

      Turns out there’s a reason he’s alone…
      I’m glad you enjoyed it, and the reveal!

      Like

  27. October 8, 2016 at 8:15 pm

    It certainly did take a dark turn! I love the very clever way that you used this childish imagery to make us feel comfortable and then threw us into the deep end, so to speak. Great story!

    Like

    • October 9, 2016 at 5:22 am

      I like lulling people into a false sense of security only to rip it away at the end πŸ™‚
      I’m glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  28. October 11, 2016 at 8:51 am

    I think someone is asking to put in the bag soon..very soon… Pawkisses πŸ™‚ ❀

    Like

  29. October 11, 2016 at 11:15 am

    Oh my…you did go dark! Good story. The ending was perfect.

    Like

  30. October 11, 2016 at 1:43 pm

    Ugh, that makes me a bit nauseous. The image of the bag bubbling up… and then opening it… ugh. Not a nice guy that one. Great writing though. πŸ™‚

    Like

    • October 11, 2016 at 4:34 pm

      More rocks next time πŸ™‚
      I’m glad you enjoyed the writing!

      Like

  31. October 11, 2016 at 2:52 pm

    Very well written! Richie has definitely grown into an evil man. I’m guessing there’s a body in that bag… a human one, I mean. I also wonder whether something went wrong in his earlier life to make him turn killer. Let’s hope the bag surfaces again when Richie’s not around, and someone else finds it.

    Like

    • October 11, 2016 at 4:36 pm

      Yep, that’s exactly what’s in the bag. All chopped up, probably 😦
      Hopefully he’ll get caught soon. I don’t think the dick pond is very deep!

      Like

  32. October 12, 2016 at 3:54 am

    Eek!
    Ellespeth

    Like

  33. October 12, 2016 at 7:15 am

    Ooohh no laughing for me this week!

    Like

  34. October 12, 2016 at 11:25 am

    I like how you’ve shown his ‘progress’ from ducks to whatever’s in that bag. Very mysterious and atmospheric.

    Like

    • October 12, 2016 at 1:04 pm

      Apparently these people often start with small animals and work their way “up”…

      Like

  35. October 13, 2016 at 9:18 am

    The human mind is a dark place to rummage in.
    πŸ™‚

    Like

    • October 13, 2016 at 11:39 am

      It is indeed. I’d hate to be a psychologist tasked to deal with minds like his.

      Liked by 1 person

  36. October 27, 2016 at 12:44 pm

    I liked the sentence explaining why there were no more ducks in the pond.

    Like

    • October 27, 2016 at 1:08 pm

      Thanks, I wanted a strong implication without having to come right out and say it.

      Like

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