Home > Fiction > FF – Onche a Shpy

FF – Onche a Shpy

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by J. Hardy Carroll.

I had an idea but couldn’t make an actual story out of it and then a certain somebody sprang to mind and it all came together πŸ™‚ . Last time, I promise πŸ˜‰ . Click on the blue froggy for this week’s other stories.


Copyright J Hardy Carroll

 

The ageing figure clambered arthritically over the fence, grimacing as the spikes gashed his arm. Undeterred, he crashed through tree branches, grazing his face. Extracting an immaculately-pressed handkerchief, he wiped off the blood and pressed on, trippingΒ over a tree stump and dislocating his shoulder.

Ignoring the pain he finally stumbled to the door, above which he spied the banner – β€œWelcome Intelligence Operatives Class of 1962!” He looked over others in the queue – all appearedΒ perfectly groomed.

β€œFor heaven’s sake, Bond!” snapped M. β€œIt’s a party! Can’t you use the front gate like everyone else?”

β€œOnche a shpy, alwaysh a shpy.”

 

  1. March 22, 2017 at 9:44 pm

    Haha! Great ending.

    Like

    • March 23, 2017 at 8:13 am

      Thanks! I’m sure that’s something he would say once in “retirement” πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  2. March 22, 2017 at 10:28 pm

    Ha ha – what an idiot. Another fun story! 😁

    Like

  3. March 22, 2017 at 10:51 pm

    hehehe I’m shaking (not stirring) with laughter!! πŸ˜€

    Like

  4. March 22, 2017 at 11:05 pm

    Cannot help but laugh!! Fun one…

    Like

  5. March 22, 2017 at 11:07 pm

    Hehe, this was great!

    Like

  6. March 23, 2017 at 12:06 am

    What a great MOVIE that would make πŸ™‚

    Like

    • March 23, 2017 at 8:15 am

      Yes. He’s about the right age as well!

      Like

  7. March 23, 2017 at 12:15 am

    Dear Ali,

    Once more your gold fingers have tapped out an amusing piece. Love it.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

    • March 23, 2017 at 8:16 am

      Dear Rochelle,
      Ha, “gold fingers” πŸ™‚ I’m not wanting to get into “fan fic” but this one just fell into my lap. I’m glad you liked it!
      Ali

      Like

  8. March 23, 2017 at 12:42 am

    Hahaha… this made me laugh aloud. My husband enquired and I said I am reading a wonderful blog!

    Like

  9. March 23, 2017 at 2:58 am

    funny, i didn’t expect that. well done. πŸ™‚

    Like

  10. March 23, 2017 at 7:30 am

    Hilarious, Ali. I love your James Bond imitation. πŸ˜€ — Suzanne

    Like

    • March 23, 2017 at 8:19 am

      Thanks! I’m glad you enjoyed it πŸ™‚

      Like

  11. March 23, 2017 at 8:01 am

    Kudos to you for finding humour in the spikes! Loved it.

    Like

    • March 23, 2017 at 8:19 am

      The spikes could have gone a very different way! I’m glad you enjoyed it.

      Like

  12. March 23, 2017 at 10:06 am

    Shilly man! πŸ™‚

    Like

  13. March 23, 2017 at 12:26 pm

    Ha ha, he’ll never change his stripes. πŸ™‚

    Like

  14. March 23, 2017 at 1:16 pm

    Hahaha! πŸ™‚

    Like

  15. March 23, 2017 at 1:23 pm

    Hilarious! The good old boy will dare his way all the way to the grave, lol!

    Like

    • March 23, 2017 at 1:43 pm

      Nothing but death will stop him from doing what he does best πŸ™‚
      I’m glad you enjoyed it!

      Liked by 2 people

  16. March 23, 2017 at 1:48 pm

    This brought a smile to my face!

    Like

    • March 23, 2017 at 3:46 pm

      I’m glad, ’twas the idea πŸ™‚

      Like

  17. March 23, 2017 at 1:55 pm

    So funny! Reading this got my day started with laughter.

    Like

    • March 23, 2017 at 3:47 pm

      The best way to start your day πŸ™‚

      Like

  18. March 23, 2017 at 2:33 pm

    hehehe nice work!

    Like

  19. March 23, 2017 at 4:03 pm

    Hahahahaha! Great story!

    Like

  20. March 23, 2017 at 4:16 pm

    And he can’t even say the accent is because of the moustache getting in the way, as he didn’t have that back in the 60s! My mom is a huge fan of Mr. Connery (or used to be, anyway). Another great one, Ali. I hope you are staying well, what with the terrible things going on in the world (not just today, but continually, sadly). That said, it’s great that you are able to bring smiles and laughter to people. That’s my idea of a well-lived life (FWIW)! πŸ™‚

    Like

    • March 23, 2017 at 4:29 pm

      I’m glad you liked it! Yes, terrible events in London yesterday.

      Like

  21. Life Lessons of a Dog Lover
    March 23, 2017 at 9:50 pm

    Great laugh, so creative.

    Like

    • March 24, 2017 at 8:05 am

      Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed it πŸ™‚

      Like

  22. michael1148humphris
    March 24, 2017 at 12:32 am

    Poor old bond, I feel for him.

    Like

    • March 24, 2017 at 8:05 am

      Me too. How the mighty have fallen… πŸ™‚

      Like

  23. March 24, 2017 at 11:45 am

    That is simply brilliant! Why take the easy route?

    Click to read my story

    Like

    • March 24, 2017 at 2:14 pm

      Thanks! The gate would be very boring, he’s used to a certain level of excitement. I’m glad you liked it!

      Like

  24. March 24, 2017 at 1:34 pm

    This of course has to be fiction, because we know James Bond never gets old. They just keep getting younger actors to play him….

    Like

    • March 24, 2017 at 2:14 pm

      Bond Mark IV is looking on and shaking his head at this has-been’s efforts…

      Like

  25. March 25, 2017 at 4:40 am

    Halarious! Next adventure, he may have to zoom along at top speed on one of those electric scooters used by the elderly/immobile. I’ll look forward to hearing how he gets over the fence in that. Maybe by cunning use of an inadvertently but conveniently placed ramp???

    Like

    • March 25, 2017 at 6:18 am

      Haha, that would be fun. One can only imagine the gadgets he’d have installed ready to deploy as he zooms long at 10mph πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  26. March 25, 2017 at 11:52 am

    Owwshum πŸ˜€

    Like

  27. March 25, 2017 at 2:48 pm

    Haha I was beginning to wonder who this clumsy fool was and then when it turned out to be Bond I just laughed! Great entry!

    Like

    • March 26, 2017 at 5:39 am

      Thanks! Evidently he’s not willing to give up “the life” just yet, regardless of advancing years πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  28. March 25, 2017 at 10:12 pm

    Hehe. Don’t stop. There’s still life for many fun stories in that guy. πŸ™‚

    Like

    • March 26, 2017 at 5:40 am

      True. There’s always mileage in a good “Bond” πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  29. March 26, 2017 at 10:36 am

    πŸ™‚ He’s just too much of a show-off that Bond. Always enjoy your stories when he pitches up.

    Like

    • March 26, 2017 at 5:35 pm

      He just can’t help himself! I’m glad you liked it πŸ™‚

      Like

  30. March 26, 2017 at 7:18 pm

    Haha, love it! A bit lighter than many of the stories this week! No need to promise to stay away from Bond in future!

    Like

    • March 27, 2017 at 11:43 am

      He’s a wealth of good story ideas πŸ™‚
      I’m glad you liked it!

      Like

  31. March 26, 2017 at 7:45 pm

    Ha.. just like old dogs… love the accent.

    Like

  32. March 26, 2017 at 8:22 pm

    Nicely done!

    Like

  33. March 27, 2017 at 5:26 pm

    Love the β€œaccent”.

    Like

  34. March 28, 2017 at 9:49 am

    Very funny, old habits die hard

    Like

    • March 28, 2017 at 10:24 am

      Especially for such a dedicated operative.

      Like

  35. March 28, 2017 at 8:51 pm

    Brilliant!

    Like

  36. March 29, 2017 at 5:29 pm

    Connery will always be the true Bond!

    Like

  37. March 30, 2017 at 7:16 am

    Hehehehe…shpy…MOL πŸ˜€ Happy Pawkisses πŸ™‚ ❀

    Like

  38. April 1, 2017 at 1:57 pm

    Shuperb!

    Like

  39. April 2, 2017 at 9:35 pm

    Ha ha. Good old S.C. That particular Mr Bond will always be my favourite and I’m sure he’d play the role you’ve mapped out for him here very well! Definitely a case of ‘onche a shpy’… πŸ˜€

    Like

    • April 3, 2017 at 12:42 pm

      He’s most people’s favourite, I think πŸ™‚ I reckon he’d be great, I’ll send in the script!

      Like

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