FF – Curse of the Housesitter
Here is my little story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by J Hardy Carroll.
After struggling the last few weeks, I had this story written within 15 minutes of seeing the photo. Doesn’t mean it’s any good, though 🙂
To read this week’s other stories, click on the blue froggy.

Copyright J Hardy Carroll
“Aagh! My flat! What’ve you done to my lovely home?”
“I’ve converted it.”
“Into what? A war zone? I was only away three days…”
“It’s for my art. It’s ‘Trash Chic’.”
“That isn’t a thing.”
“But it will be! Please, take a seat…”
“Aargh!”
“… not there, and take in your surroundings…”
“My ass, my ass, something stabbed me in the ass!”
“I call that piece ‘needle couch’.”
“My couch, my beautiful couch… what have you done to the bathroom?”
“Ah yes, ‘Druggie’s Toilet’. A masterpiece.”
“Oh yeah?”
Heave. Smash. Aaaargh! Thump.
“Well, I call this piece ‘Murder Window, Splattered Pavement’.”
Does this mean I should never ask an artist to housesit for me? 😉
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Yeah, pretty much 🙂
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Oh my, that turned ugly — er, uglier — very quickly! Great take on the prompt Ali!
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On the plus side he’s created some great pavement art… 🙂
I’m glad you liked it!
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Ha ha ha yuck! 😉
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Haha,good fun. Nice to read a humourous take 🙂
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I’m glad you enjoyed it!
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Yes. That’s they way it is when you leave you teenage kid in charge of your REAL house and they think a little party would be fun. Minus the murder, but only because they lock you up for that kind of thing!
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Trashing the house when put in charge for the first time is like a rite of passage 🙂
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Going all splatter punk, eh?
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Heh 🙂
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Too funny! One must suffer for one’s art. No doubt Splattered Pavement will fetch millions at the next art auction. 😀
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He’d better get down there quick and safeguard it before some mad fool cleans it up 🙂
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I wonder how much that flat would get on the art market?
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I’m sure someone would pay stupid money for it. Especially since the “artist” is now deceased…
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Moral: Always ask first before you begin an extreme makeover on a friend’s place.
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I’m pretty sure in this case he would have said no 🙂
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LOL Words fail me 😀
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Hee 🙂
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What about making him pay to have it cleaned first?
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Too late – I bet he’s kicking himself now 🙂
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Blood spatter as art…. I would be shocked if hasn’t already been done in the art world and sold for millions of dollars. And in this case, the artist certainly suffered for his work….
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Blood spatter, vomit… all sorts of bodily fluids could be amazing art…
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I abhor violence but I kind of sympathise in this case.
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I’m not sure he deserved defenestration, mind. Maybe just a good kicking.
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Dear Ali,
Methinks the artist crossed the line here. I’m inclined to agree with Splattered Pavement. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
His “art” was certainly not appreciated by the homeowner. I’m glad you liked it!
Ali
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Um…. the Museum of Modern Art is three blocks the other way, Ali…. ha ha ha….
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Unfortunately, not having read your story first, I too did not realise I was in the wrong place 🙂
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Very clever. Wonderful use of ‘trash chic’.
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Thanks! I love the idea of “trash chic” 🙂
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Ha, ha. That’s one reason I wouldn’t want to have renters. Good writing, Ali. I loved the needle couch. 😀 — Suzanne
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You do hear horror stories of these rent-out places. I’m glad you liked the needle couch, but don’t sit on it!
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Ha! Evil, evil artists! Made me smile all the way through. Nicely done sir
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He was determined not to let anything stand in the way of his “art”. I’m glad it made you smile 🙂
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Well, he definitely didn’t. Give that man a Turner Prize 🙂
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Dark and hilarious as usual!
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It’s my thing 🙂
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🙂
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‘Trash Chic’ wold probably be more accurate with the second word removed! This made me smile.
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Hah, yes. That’s certainly what the homeowner thought. I’m glad you liked it!
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If anyone got this “artistic” with my home, I cannot guarantee I would not end up incarcerated… Trash Chic (said quickly sounds “tragic”, dontcha think?)
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Ha, so it does! I reckon many of us would be sharing that cell with you if there was a sudden rash of artistic house alterations 🙂
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😁
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Once again you made me laugh with this creative take on the prompt.
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I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂
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Thanks for writing something super fun. Perhaps we all need a needle couch for those unwanted guests. 😉
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That would be just the thing. “Just sit over there and tell me more about this ‘double glazing’ you’re selling…” 🙂
I’m glad you liked my story!
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I call it “just deserts.”
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Many would agree with you I think!
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Hahah – loved this take on the prompt!
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Thanks, I’m glad you liked it 🙂
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You managed to include such a lot of imagery in this piece. Uncomfortable imagery, but impressive.
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The needle couch was especially uncomfortable 🙂
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Oh dear. A big mistake asking that friend to housesit!
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Yes, it’s all spiralled rather out of control 🙂
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Hilariously awesome story!
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Thanks, I’m glad you liked it!
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Hoist by his own, methinks. Although, it might have been better to get the artist to clear up before offing him. Great voices and characterisation.
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Yes, he’s stuck with the whole thing now. And he only has 10 minutes before the police arrive!
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So sad, why can’t we appreciate the concept of art and creation… brain substance is not chick actually.
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He should have just taken a moment to enjoy the creations…
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Modern art where will it end. Lovely story telling!
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It gets weirder and weirder as time moves on. I’m glad you enjoyed it!
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a lot of the stories this week were sad. glad you came up with something different. enjoyed it very much. 🙂
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Thanks, I thought we could all use a smile 🙂
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Haha – love this!
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Yay, I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂
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Haha! Great one! Should we be concerned that this is what came to your mind immediately? Clever and fun!
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You only need to be concerned if I come over and house sit for you… 🙂
I’m glad you liked it!
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I think that would be my first reaction as well.
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Me too. I’d probably wait to kill him until after he’s tidied up, though.
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Now I know for certain I’ll never use a housesitter. Who needs a “needle couch” when all’s said and done? 🙂
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Surplus to requirements, really. And quite painful 🙂
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Hahaha. Trash Chic! 😍 Très bien.
Ellespeth
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It’s gonna be the next big thing! I’m glad you lied it 🙂
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I think he needs a new housemate! Enjoyed!!
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I think so too!
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