Home > Fiction > FF – A Nice Big Car

FF – A Nice Big Car

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. The photo was contributed by Kent Bonham.

Click on the blue froggy for other stories this week.

Copyright Kent Bonham

 

“A nice big car, yes…”

“Indeed! So, interested?”

“Hmm, yes, good acceleration, a nice big boot, large enough for two of my enemies simultaneously…”

“For your whaaat…?”

“My shopping, yes, as I said, large enough for my shopping.”

“Um, and very economical to run…”

“Yes, economical, yes, who needs to have to keep stopping for petrol during the kidnappings?”

“The whaaaa…?”

“During the school run, as I said, the school run, yes? Let’s talk Shekels.”

“Listen, take it, just don’t hurt…”

“Nonsense! Here is a suitcase full of untraceable non-consecutive banknotes, yes? Goodbye!”

Vrooom.

“Man. I hate selling to politicians.”

 

  1. July 19, 2017 at 6:29 pm

    Hahaha – they don’t even bother to tell convincing lies!

    Like

  2. July 19, 2017 at 6:49 pm

    That’s what you call blind confidence.
    They know people won’t think hard about coming after them.

    Like

  3. Adam Ickes
    July 19, 2017 at 7:22 pm

    I thought we were supposed to write fiction. Are you sure this is made up? I’m not convinced, but a nice big case of untraceable money might help convince me.

    Like

    • July 20, 2017 at 7:11 am

      No worries. Now where did I put that old Monopoly set..

      Like

  4. July 19, 2017 at 7:25 pm

    NO ONE — not even an assassin — would take shekels. Those deals are always made in Euros or dollars. Just saying.

    Like

    • July 20, 2017 at 7:13 am

      Ah, it’s one of “those” economies, is it?

      Like

  5. July 19, 2017 at 7:43 pm

    hehe Another satisfied (un-traceable) customer. 🙂

    Like

    • July 20, 2017 at 7:13 am

      Judging by his plans for the car, it’s probably best there’s no paper trail 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  6. michael1148humphris
    July 19, 2017 at 7:52 pm

    Lovely,

    Like

  7. July 19, 2017 at 9:27 pm

    Yikes. Not the Mafia? Not enemy soldiers? Politicians who don’t even feel the need to hide their dishonesty. Yeah. We’ve got some of that.

    Like

    • July 20, 2017 at 7:14 am

      It comes to a sorry pass when they can’t even be bothered to think up a decent lie any more…

      Liked by 1 person

      • July 20, 2017 at 12:30 pm

        True. But why waste the effort on a bunch of lemmings?

        Liked by 1 person

  8. July 19, 2017 at 10:20 pm

    I wager you had fun writing this one. Not that I am gambling man, of course.

    Like

    • July 20, 2017 at 7:15 am

      It took a while to think of a story but when I got it, it made me smile 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  9. July 19, 2017 at 11:32 pm

    An intriguing story (pun intended.) The sales person better spend the money before the next coup.

    Like

    • July 20, 2017 at 7:16 am

      Yeah, it would be a shame it all suddenly became absolutely worthless.

      Like

      • July 20, 2017 at 8:08 pm

        Or the next govt started investigating what became of all the money that disappeared. Sometimes getting a payoff from the big guy now can lead to a different payoff when the power shifts. 😦

        Liked by 1 person

  10. July 19, 2017 at 11:34 pm

    HAHAHAHAHA! Ali, you nailed it BIG!

    Five out of five Knesset Kills.

    Like

    • July 20, 2017 at 7:17 am

      I’m glad you liked it! And now thanks to you (and Google) I know what the Israeli parliament is called!

      Liked by 1 person

      • July 21, 2017 at 3:25 am

        You doubted me that you had to look it up on Google …? 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  11. July 20, 2017 at 6:56 am

    POLITICIANS are corrupt – I get so tired of hearing them on the news gripe about who did what to whom and when and where. Enjoyable story! Well written – Nan

    Like

    • July 20, 2017 at 7:18 am

      It would be nice if they all just shut up and got on with actually running the country. Or resigned. One of those 🙂

      Like

  12. July 20, 2017 at 7:06 am

    I don’t know where you get this jaundiced view of politicians from. Oh wait… I remember… real life? Very funny.

    Like

    • July 20, 2017 at 7:18 am

      Yeah, I’ve been reading the news again 🙂 I’m glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  13. July 20, 2017 at 8:31 am

    That was very amusing, until the last line – which made me laugh out loud! Excellent 🙂

    Like

    • July 20, 2017 at 8:57 am

      Thanks, I’m glad you liked it! It took me a little while to get the last line after the rest was written.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. July 20, 2017 at 12:34 pm

    Hilarious last line — it was worth taking the time to come up with!

    Like

    • July 20, 2017 at 3:14 pm

      I often have trouble finding something to wrap things up. I’m glad you liked it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • July 20, 2017 at 4:41 pm

        Thinking of that perfect last line is hard, I agree!

        Liked by 1 person

  15. July 20, 2017 at 1:50 pm

    The last line is a cracker!

    Like

    • July 20, 2017 at 3:14 pm

      Thanks, it took me a while but I finally came up with something 🙂

      Like

  16. July 20, 2017 at 3:09 pm

    Well that ended with a guffaw! Loved this, Ali!

    Like

  17. July 20, 2017 at 3:28 pm

    I found a lot of truth in this one, unfortunately. Great write.

    Like

    • July 20, 2017 at 3:46 pm

      Politicians are the same the world over. I’m glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  18. July 20, 2017 at 4:10 pm

    Ah, yes, politicians. It all makes sense now. Hilarious and good writing, Ali. 😀 — Suzanne

    Like

    • July 21, 2017 at 8:06 am

      They’re a shifty bunch! I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂

      Like

  19. July 20, 2017 at 10:24 pm

    This is simply brilliant – love the dialogue and as for the ending…!

    Click to read my FriFic

    Like

    • July 21, 2017 at 8:08 am

      Thanks, I’m glad you liked it! The last came to me eventually.

      Like

  20. July 20, 2017 at 11:21 pm

    That just got funnier and funnier and the punchline was the icing on the cake!

    Like

  21. July 21, 2017 at 12:34 am

    Dear Ali,

    What? You mean politicians aren’t honest people? My pedestals just crumbled. Loved it.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

    • July 21, 2017 at 8:11 am

      Dear Rochelle,
      Sorry for shaking your belief in our elected officials 🙂 I’m glad you liked it!
      Ali

      Like

  22. July 21, 2017 at 2:08 am

    Wow. I think you may have just offended a lot of decent kidnappers out there with that last line…

    Like

  23. July 21, 2017 at 2:42 am

    he sounds like mr. trump. 🙂

    Like

  24. Lyn
    July 21, 2017 at 12:02 pm

    Politicians lie??? 😮 Oh my…I did not realise that.

    Like

  25. July 22, 2017 at 6:38 pm

    Fake news, all of it. 😀 Great fun.

    Like

  26. July 22, 2017 at 10:10 pm

    Hahaha, aa man I love this!

    Like

  27. July 23, 2017 at 10:33 am

    This was great, had me laughing all the way

    Like

  28. July 23, 2017 at 4:55 pm

    Haha – good one 🙂

    Like

  29. July 23, 2017 at 6:00 pm

    That made me smile – well done!

    Like

  30. July 23, 2017 at 10:14 pm

    Ha! What fun, especially the last line.

    Like

    • July 24, 2017 at 7:02 am

      I’m glad you liked it! It took a while to think up a decent last line but judging from the comments it was worth it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  31. July 24, 2017 at 6:32 pm

    So clever and so funny. Absolutely love this. 🙂

    Like

    • July 25, 2017 at 6:46 am

      Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂

      Like

  32. July 25, 2017 at 11:11 am

    Haha,,,the last line was perfect!

    Like

  33. July 25, 2017 at 3:23 pm

    Selling to politicians? Sounds like he was selling to an ex-spouse. Well done!

    Like

    • July 25, 2017 at 3:40 pm

      Ha, yes, that would have worked too 🙂

      Like

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