Home > Fiction > FF – The Greatest Loss

FF – The Greatest Loss

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo comes courtesy of Danny Bowman.

To read this week’s other stories, click on the blue froggy.

Copyright Danny Bowman

 

Agony. Terror.

These are not words which immediately spring to mind when exposed to such an idyllic scene. Endless, rolling hills, sky tinged red with the sunset, the gentle chirruping of insects…

Mind-chilling horror. Guts aflame, like a burning knife thrust deep in your innards. Brain melting as all you knew is ripped away…

These are not phrases one would associate with such a tranquil setting. Yet for one young man, not yet fourteen, it is something he must now face.

“Dad, something’s wrong! My Facebook’s not loading.”

“There’s no phone coverage out here, son.”

“BY ALL THAT’S HOLY, NOOOooooooo!”

 

  1. September 6, 2017 at 7:07 pm

    Ha! Suffer you young whelp. 😀

    Liked by 2 people

  2. September 6, 2017 at 7:15 pm

    Ouch… and here I was expecting something timid like flesh eating slugs and you leave me with this nightmare…

    Liked by 1 person

    • September 7, 2017 at 7:41 am

      I cunningly led you to believe it was a normal run-of-the-mill slaughter before unleashing the full horror.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. September 6, 2017 at 7:25 pm

    I understand. Oh, the horror!

    Like

  4. September 6, 2017 at 7:28 pm

    Ha, who needs to be a teenager to feel that way? 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. September 6, 2017 at 7:40 pm

    A perfect nightmare!

    Like

  6. September 6, 2017 at 7:44 pm

    Lol poor lad, how will he survive the horror!

    Like

    • September 7, 2017 at 7:45 am

      He probably won’t. Very sad 😦 Or at least if he doesn’t check in every 10 minutes his friends will assume he’s dead and move on…

      Liked by 1 person

      • September 7, 2017 at 7:46 am

        Geez that’s harsh ffs, they could at least have waited for 15 lol

        Like

      • September 7, 2017 at 7:55 am

        That’s, like, forever in teenage time 🙂

        Like

  7. September 6, 2017 at 8:03 pm

    I can imagine the day when phone and internet will be available even where there aren’t any people–just in case anyone goes there.

    Liked by 1 person

    • September 7, 2017 at 7:46 am

      As it should be 😉 I’d be happy to get any sort of phone signal in my house, to be honest.

      Like

  8. September 6, 2017 at 8:10 pm

    Haha. First world problems.

    Liked by 1 person

    • September 7, 2017 at 7:46 am

      For sure. Kid hasn’t a clue…

      Like

  9. September 6, 2017 at 8:44 pm

    Excellent tale, Ali. Why am I not surprised to see you come up with this? 😄

    Like

    • September 7, 2017 at 7:47 am

      I’m a gadget-boy 🙂 I’m glad you enjoyed it!

      Like

  10. September 6, 2017 at 8:47 pm

    Surely a horror like this can only be fiction! 😀

    Like

  11. September 6, 2017 at 10:37 pm

    Ha, loved it. A similar reaction when it’s time to post for Friday Fictioneers and there’s no signal 🙂

    Like

    • September 7, 2017 at 7:52 am

      Ooh, weird. Two comments from you, both sent to spam…
      Yes, you get everything ready, hit the button and it all falls flat. NOOOooooo.

      Liked by 1 person

      • September 7, 2017 at 8:10 am

        Thanks for letting me know and finding the comments. Fingers crossed my comments seem to be appearing normally again today. Your piece felt very apt yesterday as all my comments disappeared into thin air! 🙂

        Like

      • September 7, 2017 at 12:04 pm

        Glad it’s all back to normal!

        Liked by 1 person

  12. michael1148humphris
    September 6, 2017 at 11:05 pm

    Quick please tell me were this place is, for I need to be there.🙂🙂

    Like

    • September 7, 2017 at 7:48 am

      Where I live for a start. 2G is not enough to load the Facebook 🙂

      Like

  13. September 7, 2017 at 1:48 am

    Hahaha… what a nightmare for the lad!

    Like

    • September 7, 2017 at 7:49 am

      We should start a crowd-funding campaign for the poor wee soul, maybe 🙂

      Like

  14. September 7, 2017 at 2:15 am

    Hahaha. What a fun twist! Brilliant. 🙂

    Like

    • September 7, 2017 at 7:49 am

      Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed it!

      Like

  15. September 7, 2017 at 3:30 am

    This one really cracked me up. I know a lot of people who haven’t been 14 for ages who would have the same reaction! Me? Sign me up…

    Like

    • September 7, 2017 at 7:49 am

      Yeah, I’ve never seen the allure of constantly social media-ing everything…

      Liked by 2 people

      • September 7, 2017 at 1:14 pm

        It’s like an attention drug: once you get those “likes” you just want more and more, so you post every thought in your head, hoping for another hit.

        Liked by 1 person

      • September 7, 2017 at 2:22 pm

        Parts of Asia have detox clinics specifically for web addiction…

        Liked by 1 person

      • September 7, 2017 at 4:12 pm

        I can see why!

        Liked by 1 person

  16. September 7, 2017 at 3:58 am

    My epilogue:

    “NOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
    oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
    oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!”

    What can I say? I enjoy seeing the lad suffer some more….

    Like

    • September 7, 2017 at 7:50 am

      As if having to spend his holidays in the Great Outdoors wasn’t bad enough for the poor wee thing. No sympathy from the Nest, then 🙂

      Like

      • September 7, 2017 at 8:36 am

        Never! Let him suffer a 21st century fate worse than death…

        Like

      • September 7, 2017 at 12:04 pm

        Bwahaha.

        Like

  17. September 7, 2017 at 9:59 am

    Gee that’s tough! Someone should get in touch with Child Protection. 🙂

    Like

    • September 7, 2017 at 12:05 pm

      The kid tried himself but he’s got no signal…

      Like

  18. Lyn
    September 7, 2017 at 10:24 am

    LOL poor little darling. There’s an ad on TV where this young couple stop by a fruit stall in the country. There’s an honesty box to put money in. The girl takes a piece of fruit. The boyfriend holds his phone over the of the box…nothing. He picks it up and says, pointing to the chain, “Well, it’s plugged in.” There’s a chirping sound as he moves it to the side of the box…”Was that a beep?” he asks. Girl shakes her head, “No, I think it was a bird.” Clever boy keeps trying to pay with his phone on the honesty box. Ahhh, the young and their technology 😀

    Liked by 2 people

  19. September 7, 2017 at 12:14 pm

    Hahaha! This was delightfully cunning in its denouement. If I were the father, I would have camped out with the runt for months until his ‘internet’ de-tox is complete. 😛

    Like

    • September 7, 2017 at 2:22 pm

      Thanks! I think you have the right idea – the kid clearly needs some time away from the web… 🙂

      Like

  20. September 7, 2017 at 12:44 pm

    Haha – excellent take on the prompt. 😀

    Like

  21. September 7, 2017 at 2:48 pm

    Oh the agony! You nailed it. Sometimes the only way to lure my teenager out of his room is to switch off his internet.

    Like

    • September 7, 2017 at 7:23 pm

      Haha, what a cunning plan! I’m glad you enjoyed my story 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  22. September 7, 2017 at 2:50 pm

    That would feel like the end of the world to a teenager! LOL! Cute story!

    Like

  23. pennydanger
    September 7, 2017 at 3:34 pm

    Not only teens…How about someone like me in Florida with a hurricane coming this way? If the power goes out it means no tele, computer, and eventually no phone. Nooooooo. Thanks for the reminder–cute story!!

    Like

    • September 7, 2017 at 7:25 pm

      Sounds like candles and a board game for you. I hope everything goes okay where you are.
      I’m glad you liked my story!

      Like

  24. September 7, 2017 at 4:20 pm

    What is the world coming to? A brilliant take and a tale of our times.

    Click to read my FriFic

    Like

    • September 7, 2017 at 7:26 pm

      Gone are the days when you’d hop on your bike and cycle round to your friend’s house to see if they were coming out to play – because nobody even had a landline 😦
      I’m glad you liked my story!

      Like

  25. September 7, 2017 at 7:38 pm

    Not the ending I was expecting. The first part lends itself so well to what people in the impact zone of Irma are feeling, but then, you twist it. Great Story!

    Like

  26. September 7, 2017 at 8:05 pm

    Brilliant. One of my two would be beside himself to not be able to play on-line games… the other? He was born in the wrong time. He barely knows how to turn on a computer!
    As for the parent stuck with the sure-to-be moping teen…. good luck to him!

    Like

    • September 8, 2017 at 6:50 am

      I expect dad was hoping for some father-son bonding 🙂
      At least one of your sons could think up some fun non-digital stuff for your other son to do!

      Like

      • September 8, 2017 at 9:07 am

        I’m sure he was.
        And there would be a good chance the one would find something to do…and maybe include the other!

        Liked by 1 person

  27. September 7, 2017 at 9:24 pm

    i was anticipating for the usual blood and gore. what a wonderful twist. 🙂

    Like

    • September 8, 2017 at 6:50 am

      Thanks! This is infinitely worse for the poor lad than blood and gore 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  28. September 7, 2017 at 9:36 pm

    Dear Ali,

    I won’t tell you about the anxiety attacks I have when the internet goes out. It isn’t pretty. Love your story…so true to life.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

    • September 8, 2017 at 6:51 am

      Dear Rochelle,
      I always think yeeks, no internet, I know, I’ll watch Netflix while I’m waiting. No, wait…
      I’m glad you liked it!
      Ali

      Like

  29. September 7, 2017 at 10:06 pm

    Loved it! You caught me with that one – I was thinking ALIENS!

    Like

    • September 8, 2017 at 6:52 am

      Thanks, I’m glad you liked it! At least aliens would probably have some sort of internet access to MarsNet or something…

      Like

  30. September 8, 2017 at 7:00 am

    this is so great concept and different approach with good message…

    Like

    • September 8, 2017 at 7:07 am

      Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂

      Like

  31. September 8, 2017 at 1:12 pm

    Ha, ha. Yes, faced with brutal reality. Dad seems to have believed he needed toughening up. Good writing, Ali. 😀 — Suzanne

    Like

    • September 8, 2017 at 7:52 pm

      And the best way to toughen up the modern child is to remove their internet 🙂
      I’m glad you enjoyed it!

      Liked by 1 person

  32. September 8, 2017 at 1:13 pm

    Reblogged this on Musings on Life & Experience and commented:
    Faced with brutal reality.

    Like

  33. September 8, 2017 at 3:34 pm

    Hilarious. Poor kid, the suffering, no one can really understand what he goes through. 😀

    Like

  34. September 8, 2017 at 8:53 pm

    Love. A kid old enough to know better walked smack into me at the store yesterday because he was completely focused on his phone. Worst/best invention in the history of man 🙂

    Like

    • September 9, 2017 at 3:37 pm

      Like most inventions, a modicum of common sense is required. I’m glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  35. Life Lessons of a Dog Lover
    September 8, 2017 at 10:06 pm

    Ha, this was great fun. I was steeling myself for some unspoken horror and had a great laugh at your twist.

    Like

    • September 9, 2017 at 3:38 pm

      For a teenager, this is a worse horror than anything else which could have happened! I’m glad you liked it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  36. September 9, 2017 at 6:19 pm

    Brilliant! A true story 🙂

    Like

  37. lavmuses
    September 10, 2017 at 2:25 am

    Wah, true horror of the millennials indeed. Loved the humour.

    Like

    • September 10, 2017 at 6:18 am

      Thanks! It doesn’t bear thinking about, the poor, poor lad 🙂

      Like

  38. September 10, 2017 at 11:37 am

    Wow! That’s bordering on child abuse, I am guessing Family Services might have to be involved. And how will the boy eat? After all food tastes better with Instagram.

    Like

    • September 10, 2017 at 3:52 pm

      Yep, I’m sure Social Services are rushing out there right now to bring him back to civilisation 🙂 It’s not even worth eating if you can’t post a photo of it.

      Like

  39. September 10, 2017 at 10:21 pm

    LOL….scary stuff!

    Like

  40. September 11, 2017 at 10:39 am

    Horror of horrors. Next year the kid’ll be deciding where to go on holiday. 🙂

    Like

    • September 11, 2017 at 12:13 pm

      Ha, yes 🙂 The poor wee lamb.

      Like

  41. September 13, 2017 at 12:28 am

    lol I love the way you led up to this revelation. Very good! 🙂

    Like

    • September 13, 2017 at 6:31 am

      Thought I’d set the scene for the real horror 🙂 I’m glad you liked it!

      Like

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