Home > Fiction > FF – Abduction!

FF – Abduction!

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. The photo was contributed by Douglas M. MacIlroy and appears to depict some sort of horrific medieval torture cage.

Copyright Douglas M. MacIlroy

 

Jerry huddled, miserable and cold in the cage. The skies were darkening and the cold was seeping into his bones. In the distance he could see the truck that had brought him here. All was quiet.

Hours later and the sun rose, hurting his eyes. He felt panic, terror. His muscles had cramped. He started at a sound, two men approaching. One of them vomited on the grass. The other spoke.

“Jeez, sorry mate. We got pissed and forgot about you! It was only supposed to be twenty minutes.”

“Forgot about me? I’m the bloody groom! Worst stag do ever!”

 


 

 

Note: in case you’re not aware, it’s a traditional jape at a stag do (I believe in America it’s called a “bachelor party”) to “fake kidnap” the groom and (hopefully) deliver him to the party. Sometimes he ends up chained to a lamp post 🙂

 

  1. April 18, 2018 at 7:37 pm

    It takes on a different meaning too when you mention “pissed”. In the UK it means drunk, and in the US it means angry…it works both ways, but can leave some wondering what he did to anger his friends. Great story. (btw, its a disc golf basket). I am still looking for a sporting story.

    Like

    • April 19, 2018 at 7:06 am

      I’d forgotten the other meaning of “pissed”, We use it that way in the UK too which sometimes causes confusion. Maybe I should have used “hammered”.
      Golf basket, torture cage, tomato, tomayto… 🙂
      I’m glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. April 18, 2018 at 7:47 pm

    I remember the “fake kidnappings” from my parents’ generation (and I’m old), but I don’t recall any of them going this bad.

    Like

    • April 19, 2018 at 7:07 am

      This one was pretty bad alright. Good job they didn’t sleep the day away and leave him there!

      Like

  3. April 18, 2018 at 8:36 pm

    A classic comedy scene. Everyone laughing until the Bride turns up…

    Liked by 1 person

    • April 19, 2018 at 7:07 am

      Ha, I doubt she’d be too impressed!

      Like

  4. April 18, 2018 at 8:50 pm

    Ha ha – you got me! Loved the surprise twist ending. 🙂

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    Like

    • April 19, 2018 at 7:08 am

      Not quite as evil a scene as it looked. I’m glad you liked it!

      Like

  5. April 18, 2018 at 9:29 pm

    Oops. 🙂

    Like

  6. April 18, 2018 at 11:43 pm

    I must admit that I find these traditions rather barbaric – and can even end up being fatal..
    That said, good take on the prompt there, sir!

    Like

    • April 19, 2018 at 7:11 am

      Fortunately I think they’re dying out somewhat. I’m glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. April 19, 2018 at 4:16 am

    Hahaha.
    Poor guy!
    Great story and writing, Draliman.

    Like

    • April 19, 2018 at 7:12 am

      What a way to start his new life! I’m glad you liked it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  8. April 19, 2018 at 7:48 am

    Ha! Ha! On the bright side at least they remembered where they had left him.

    Like

    • April 19, 2018 at 7:49 am

      Ha, imagine having to explain that to the bride 🙂

      Like

  9. April 19, 2018 at 9:19 am

    I expect his bride will be pleased to see him. So pleased I should imagine she’ll hug him to death.

    Like

    • April 19, 2018 at 11:44 am

      Maybe she’ll be very understanding and… no, you’re right.

      Like

  10. April 19, 2018 at 1:26 pm

    I’ll never understand this kind of “humor” perpetrated on the groom, the bride, the couple. I understand that this situation was not intended, but good grief–who would think it funny to be caged up, even for 20 minutes?

    Like

    • April 20, 2018 at 7:06 am

      Me neither. There’s not so much of it about these days. The only stag do’s I’ve been to have been nice quiet affairs with a nice meal and some chatting.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. April 19, 2018 at 2:17 pm

    Hahahaha! Great story! Loved the ending!

    Like

  12. April 19, 2018 at 3:06 pm

    One have to be careful with the kidnapping business… 😀

    Like

    • April 20, 2018 at 7:06 am

      For sure. One little miscalculation… 🙂

      Like

      • April 20, 2018 at 7:10 am

        Seen Fargo? 😀

        Like

      • April 20, 2018 at 7:15 am

        No. The film or the TV series (I’ve seen neither) but I just looked at them on IMDB. Both look good!

        Like

  13. April 19, 2018 at 3:38 pm

    Dear Ali,

    Oh snap! That ending about made me choke. 😉

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

    • April 20, 2018 at 7:08 am

      Dear Rochelle,
      I’m glad you liked it and didn’t quite choke 🙂 Hope you’re enjoying your road trip still!
      Ali

      Like

  14. April 19, 2018 at 4:28 pm

    Totally loved the switcheroo in this story. I was imagining something medieval at the beginning. Then you switched up on me. That’s a prank gone horribly wrong. Are they still friends? Fun story!

    Like

    • April 20, 2018 at 7:08 am

      Some people just don’t think things through! As long as he makes the wedding in one piece I expect he’ll forgive them.

      Liked by 1 person

  15. April 19, 2018 at 5:18 pm

    I’m so glad I’d just finished my last spot of coffee! Otherwise . . . So much fun. Great build up, delightfully humorous end, unless you’re the groom. Then all bets are off.

    Like

    • April 20, 2018 at 7:09 am

      Yes, poor guy. The rest of the guests at the stag do had a great time, though 🙂 I’m glad you enjoyed it!

      Like

  16. April 19, 2018 at 6:58 pm

    i guess he better get used to it. marriage could be a ball of chains. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • April 20, 2018 at 7:10 am

      Ha, his best man was only acclimatising him to his future 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  17. April 19, 2018 at 7:41 pm

    LOL! Completely unexpected ending! Priceless! 🙂

    Like

    • April 20, 2018 at 7:10 am

      I’m glad you enjoyed it! Surprise endings from me shouldn’t really be surprises any more 🙂

      Like

  18. Trisha
    April 19, 2018 at 9:19 pm

    Oops! Just goes to show that letting drunk people make and execute plans is a bad idea!

    Like

    • April 20, 2018 at 7:11 am

      Drunk people seem to have no sense of responsibility… 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  19. April 20, 2018 at 7:19 am

    Hehe! Nice change of tone. I never would’ve guessed it would end this way😅

    Like

    • April 20, 2018 at 7:26 am

      Looking on the bright side, he’s still alive and might even make the wedding 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  20. April 20, 2018 at 10:44 am

    Nice take on the prompt. I liked the way you turned it around at the end!

    Like

    • April 20, 2018 at 12:40 pm

      Thanks, I like a bit of a twist 🙂

      Like

  21. April 20, 2018 at 11:37 am

    Great ending. Very unexpected.

    Like

    • April 20, 2018 at 12:40 pm

      Thanks! Very unexpected for him too, he was looking forward to an evening’s drinking 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  22. April 20, 2018 at 3:27 pm

    Oops! the poor guy!

    Like

    • April 20, 2018 at 3:50 pm

      “I know we’ve forgotten something, but I just can’t put my finger on it… whose round is it?” 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  23. April 20, 2018 at 4:05 pm

    You captured that drunken ritual well. I imagined something more sinister, although it could turn ugly if he’s late for the wedding.
    Tracey

    Like

    • April 21, 2018 at 5:06 am

      Yes, if he forces the bride to start driving around in circle he’s going to wish he was back in that cage 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  24. April 20, 2018 at 4:49 pm

    I too was expecting something more sinister. I think you not following your usual path of blood and guts make your stories even funnier. The jokes on us.
    Good job. ;0)

    Like

    • April 21, 2018 at 5:06 am

      Thanks! I’ve decided you don’t need splattering brains to make a funny story 🙂

      Like

  25. April 20, 2018 at 4:56 pm

    I’m so glad it turned out to be an idiotic prank. I was really worried about him, then came your twist as a massive relief. Good story.

    Like

    • April 21, 2018 at 5:07 am

      A nasty night for him but at least he gets to enjoy his life now. I’m glad you liked it!

      Like

  26. April 20, 2018 at 6:26 pm

    His bride’s probably getting a personal dance from a Chippendale at this very moment, and he’s locked up in a cage because his buddies are drunks. It pays to choose your friends wisely as you grow up….

    Like

    • April 21, 2018 at 5:10 am

      Yeah, she’s having a much more fun time. This bunch are definitely not the most responsible of people.

      Like

  27. April 21, 2018 at 3:12 am

    I’ve never heard the likes! No wonder he was mad.
    It’s called a ‘stag party’ here, too, but what’s become more common is a “buck & doe party” a mixed affair where bride and groom are both present.

    Like

    • April 21, 2018 at 5:12 am

      That sounds more the sort of thing I’d prefer. A nice pre-wedding party together! I see the stag/buck/doe theme persists. For some reason the bride-to-be’s party is a “hen” party/night/do over here.

      Liked by 1 person

      • April 21, 2018 at 1:44 pm

        I think “Stag” carries a better, more ‘manly’ impression than most other familiar male creature names. Likewise Buck & Doe would trump “Rooster and Hen” any day, IMO. 😉

        Like

      • April 21, 2018 at 4:22 pm

        “Rooster party” doesn’t have the same ring to it…

        Like

  28. April 21, 2018 at 5:24 pm

    Oh my goodness, great twist. Well-done! =)

    Like

  29. April 21, 2018 at 11:05 pm

    With your intro about the medieval torture device I expected the worst… and had a good chuckle with the conclusion. Interesting that the groom gets kidnapped. Here in Germany it is (or used to be?) the bride who gets kidnapped at the wedding feast.

    Like

    • April 22, 2018 at 6:03 am

      I went to a German wedding many years ago. I don’t specifically remember a kidnapping but there was a lot going on, all sorts of things, it was great!
      I’m glad you liked my story!

      Liked by 1 person

      • April 22, 2018 at 12:49 pm

        I don’t know if they still do it, It’s been a long time since I’ve been…

        Liked by 1 person

  30. April 22, 2018 at 4:41 am

    Ha ha ha. Loved that one. Very well done.

    Like

  31. April 22, 2018 at 8:39 am

    Oh the problems of stag dos, reminds me of a few I’ve been to that didn’t go according to plan. Well told

    Like

  32. April 22, 2018 at 3:49 pm

    Love the change in tone from ominous to hilarious!

    Like

    • April 22, 2018 at 5:06 pm

      Glad you liked it! It could have gone real bad, rather than just pretty bad.

      Liked by 1 person

  33. April 22, 2018 at 4:20 pm

    IF he makes it to the altar I have a feeling this friendship is over (at least until after the divorce)

    Like

    • April 22, 2018 at 5:06 pm

      He doesn’t want to burn any bridges, he’ll need them in his corner when it all falls to bits.

      Liked by 1 person

  34. April 22, 2018 at 7:22 pm

    Ouch, this makes me remember one or two stag parties I’ve been to… we left one guy chained to a bench on an island… he got home quite late.

    Like

    • April 23, 2018 at 7:18 am

      Ha! Nice to see the tradition is still alive and well 🙂

      Like

  35. April 22, 2018 at 7:38 pm

    Just believable – beautifully told, love the ending. Well done.

    Like

    • April 23, 2018 at 7:19 am

      Thanks! I’m glad you liked it 🙂

      Like

  36. April 23, 2018 at 8:34 am

    Isn’t it always the way. At least Jerry won’t be hungover, assuming he’s going straight to the wedding. Great how you set this up – Jerry’s fear and tension are palpable before the vomiting friend shows up.

    Like

    • April 23, 2018 at 11:42 am

      He might be a bit stiff and sore, though 🙂
      I’m glad you liked the build up.

      Like

  37. April 24, 2018 at 3:07 pm

    Wow, he won’t be in very good condition for the marriage. Some friends. Good writing, Ali. 😀 — Suzanne

    Like

    • April 25, 2018 at 7:06 am

      He has some work to do to get ready in time 🙂

      Like

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