Home > Fiction > FF – Marital Bliss

FF – Marital Bliss

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Jan Wayne Fields.

I tried a bit of present tense this week to try to make it seem more “immediate”. Or whatever. I had major issues with the word count, much rewording was required!

Copyright Jan Wayne Fields

 

“How about a photo, my darling? Move a bit closer to the edge, it’ll be more dramatic. Look at the view.” A couple more yards, then I’ve got you…

“Of course dearest. It’s lovely!”

She reaches the edge and he charges forward, arms outstretched, face murderous, triumphant. Oblivious, she bends to rummage in her bag. Eyes wide, he trips over her and falls, smashing on the rocks below.

“Oh my. How… unfortunate. And messy. Well, this is more ‘accidental-looking’. It’s so hard to explain a stab wound.“

She places the knife back in her bag, dials the police, and smiles.

 

  1. April 25, 2018 at 7:59 pm

    Not messy for long, wait until the vultures come to feast on what remains. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. April 25, 2018 at 8:28 pm

    Their stream of love seems to have run dry long ago, but there must be a couple of insurance policies hidden in the picture here.

    Liked by 2 people

    • April 26, 2018 at 7:24 am

      For sure. I dallied with the idea of “mansion”, “fast car”, “insurance”, but the word count didn’t allow for a decent ending trying to get one of those in there.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. April 25, 2018 at 8:58 pm

    All’s well that ends well.

    Liked by 1 person

    • April 26, 2018 at 7:24 am

      Yep. She got what she wanted and didn’t even have to actually murder anyone!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. April 25, 2018 at 9:13 pm

    Really, how amazing! What a take. Enjoyed it.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. April 25, 2018 at 10:45 pm

    Goodness, that was chilling! The tense worked for me.

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    Liked by 1 person

    • April 26, 2018 at 7:26 am

      I’m glad the tense worked. I’m generally not a fan of reading stuff in the present tense but I figured it was only 100 words.
      I’m glad you liked it!

      Like

  6. April 25, 2018 at 11:32 pm

    Good exercise. For him, For you. Well done

    Liked by 1 person

  7. April 26, 2018 at 1:02 am

    Ooooh clever 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Lyn
    April 26, 2018 at 1:20 am

    LOL classic! Never trust all that my darling and sweetest guff 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • April 26, 2018 at 7:36 am

      There’s always trouble behind the scenes when people start in with all that 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  9. April 26, 2018 at 2:18 am

    How extremely convenient for her that their timing was way off… well for him, anyway!
    Such a most loving couple…

    Liked by 1 person

    • April 26, 2018 at 7:44 am

      They’re a testament to undying love. No, wait, one of them did die… 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  10. April 26, 2018 at 4:27 am

    I don’t think they knew but they were so perfect for each other! Reminded me of a movie called Sightseers.

    Liked by 1 person

    • April 26, 2018 at 7:45 am

      Yes, they were of one mind! I’ve not seen that film.

      Like

  11. April 26, 2018 at 4:38 am

    Ha ha ha. The better plotter won 🙂 I wrote a similar story (in spirit) just a couple of days ago: https://jagahdilmein.wordpress.com/2018/04/24/come-undone-atozchallenge-blogchattera2z/

    Liked by 1 person

  12. April 26, 2018 at 6:26 am

    men are smart… it just happens that women are smarter. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  13. April 26, 2018 at 7:45 am

    Insurance Adjuster: Well, ma’am. We have concluded that your husband’s death was a suicide, and can not pay out the one million pound claim on his life. I am sorry.

    Wife: But it really was an accident! I witnessed it!

    Adjuster: Really now…

    Wife: He tripped was lunging for me and tripped over a stone!

    Adjuster: And didn’t take you with him?

    Wife: I managed to duck out of the way while I was going for my knife with the intent to murder him.

    Adjuster: I see. Well then, we’ll just tidy up our report and have your check mailed to you within five business days.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. April 26, 2018 at 8:56 am

    Amusingly bloodthirsty!
    I enjoyed this.

    Liked by 1 person

    • April 26, 2018 at 12:04 pm

      I was determined to get “smashing on the rocks” in despite my word count issues. I’m glad you liked it!

      Like

  15. April 26, 2018 at 11:18 am

    Dear Ali,

    A match made slightly lower than heaven. Obviously they were of one mind. 😉

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    • April 26, 2018 at 12:05 pm

      Dear Rochelle,
      Not the most stable of marriages. Just case of who got there first 🙂
      Ali

      Liked by 1 person

  16. April 26, 2018 at 12:20 pm

    Present tense works well. And he won’t even have a hand-print on his body to make them question her story.

    Liked by 1 person

    • April 26, 2018 at 1:08 pm

      I’m glad the tense worked! No hand print, no gaping knife wound. Lucky woman!

      Like

  17. April 26, 2018 at 2:07 pm

    Everything is fair in love and war… no matter what!
    Can’t even say well deserved. They both had the same thing in their minds – pure Marital Bliss. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  18. April 26, 2018 at 5:26 pm

    You wrung an unwilling smile from me with that bloodthirsty tale, Ali! Well done!

    Liked by 1 person

    • April 26, 2018 at 6:00 pm

      Heh, thanks, I’m glad you liked it!

      Like

  19. April 26, 2018 at 6:32 pm

    Is it ok if I laughed? What a great murder story. Loved this!

    Liked by 1 person

    • April 27, 2018 at 7:33 am

      Yeah, laugh away 🙂 It does remind me of a film, maybe the early part of Mr and Mrs Smith? I’m sure they started out being very polite on the surface while trying to do each other in behind the scenes 🙂

      Like

  20. April 26, 2018 at 8:25 pm

    ha-ha-ha This made me LOL! I must remember that trick. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • April 27, 2018 at 7:34 am

      While on clifftop remember to bend over at random moment in case someone’s trying to chuck you off 🙂

      Like

  21. April 27, 2018 at 5:46 am

    WOW! Who did expect that…not me 😀 Great twist, Draliman 😀 Pawkisses for a Happy Weekend 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • April 27, 2018 at 7:35 am

      It was unexpected to all involved, I think 🙂

      Like

  22. April 27, 2018 at 7:49 am

    Entertaining well-written story. I gather the counselling hadn’t worked too well for these two. Shame.

    Liked by 1 person

    • April 27, 2018 at 2:02 pm

      Sadly the counselling crashed and burned leaving them with no alternative but foul murder 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  23. April 27, 2018 at 1:23 pm

    Well. Two homicidal maniacs, one just a tad smarter than the other. Great twist in this fast-moving story.

    Liked by 1 person

    • April 27, 2018 at 2:03 pm

      They deserved each other, I think. Shame they didn’t both go over, blaming each other all the way down 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  24. April 27, 2018 at 3:09 pm

    The little minx. This isn’t what I’d call the ideal loving couple. Hilarious although a bit brutal, Ali. Good writing. 😀 — Suzanne

    Liked by 1 person

    • April 27, 2018 at 3:47 pm

      I’m sure they tolerated each other once, long ago. I’m glad you liked it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  25. April 27, 2018 at 7:16 pm

    This was obviously a match made in heaven. Well done on the immediacy and the cutting – just perfect.

    Liked by 1 person

    • April 28, 2018 at 5:09 am

      They’re certainly very like-minded individuals! I’m glad you felt the style worked out 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  26. April 27, 2018 at 8:27 pm

    Good one! Got a good chuckle for it1

    Liked by 1 person

  27. April 27, 2018 at 9:48 pm

    This made me laugh. They really deserved each other.

    Liked by 1 person

    • April 28, 2018 at 5:10 am

      They did for sure. I’m glad you liked it!

      Like

  28. April 27, 2018 at 10:34 pm

    So chillingly brilliant.

    Liked by 1 person

  29. April 28, 2018 at 8:48 am

    My goodness their relationship got that bad, living on a knife edge. Fun read.

    Liked by 1 person

  30. April 29, 2018 at 5:22 am

    The better (or worse) person won 😉 As usual an entertaining read 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • April 29, 2018 at 5:48 am

      Neither of them are particularly nice! I’m glad you liked it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  31. April 29, 2018 at 7:35 am

    Humorous and convenient little accident, you had me laughing again

    Liked by 1 person

    • April 29, 2018 at 5:05 pm

      Saved her having to get DNA all over her knife! I’m glad you liked it.

      Liked by 1 person

  32. April 29, 2018 at 1:51 pm

    A perfectly deserved murder.

    Liked by 1 person

  33. April 29, 2018 at 3:48 pm

    Ha.. marriage is bliss but divorce is too messy.

    Liked by 2 people

  34. April 29, 2018 at 8:26 pm

    I doubt it’s the first time they’ve thought of killing each other. Luck was obviously on the wife’s side. Love the dark humour!

    Liked by 1 person

    • April 30, 2018 at 6:59 am

      It was just a question of who got luckier first 🙂 I’m glad you like it!

      Liked by 1 person

  35. April 29, 2018 at 9:59 pm

    Ad so the murderous author has returned. Characters beware.

    Liked by 1 person

  36. April 30, 2018 at 3:10 am

    So very cool! You are fantastic – how funny and satisfying for her – Him? Not so lucky!

    Liked by 1 person

    • April 30, 2018 at 7:00 am

      I’m glad you liked it! Yes, a real stroke of luck. It genuinely was an accident!

      Like

  37. April 30, 2018 at 3:13 am

    And the Life Insurance was for millions and millions and millions and — Oh, too much? Think that might draw attentions? OK, just one million. Sounds better.

    Liked by 1 person

    • April 30, 2018 at 7:00 am

      No need to be greedy! A cool mil will do the trick. Plus the mansion, garage full of classic cars etc of course.

      Like

  38. April 30, 2018 at 6:56 pm

    What a perfectly lovely couple! Great twist, and the present tense works really well. 😃

    Liked by 1 person

    • April 30, 2018 at 7:33 pm

      They definitely deserved each other 🙂 I’m glad you felt the present tense worked here. I find reading a whole book in the present tense quite tiring, though!

      Like

  39. April 30, 2018 at 8:25 pm

    What a lovely couple, so deserving of one another! I pity the poor fool who comes next for the poor grieving widow.

    Liked by 1 person

    • May 1, 2018 at 6:54 am

      Yeah, the “grieving” Black Widow 🙂

      Like

  40. May 1, 2018 at 2:01 am

    LOL…well they were a happy couple!

    Liked by 1 person

    • May 1, 2018 at 6:55 am

      They had a lot of fun times thinking up ways to knock off the other one 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  41. May 1, 2018 at 1:38 pm

    They were certainly made for each other 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • May 1, 2018 at 3:24 pm

      For sure. They very much deserved each other!

      Like

  42. May 6, 2018 at 7:47 pm

    Great story – very well crafted, no words wasted. All that action so deftly achieved. Clever stuff.

    Liked by 1 person

    • May 7, 2018 at 5:24 am

      Thanks, it was a struggle to fit it all in 🙂 I’m glad you liked it!

      Like

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