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FF – SpyBird

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Jean L. Hays.

I’m not all that taken with my story this week, it just seems to amble along, but never mind πŸ™‚

Copyright Jean L. Hays

 

Inside the truck, Agent Smith describes his new invention to his superiors…

β€œThere’s SpyBird approaching the house, its cunningly situated head-mounted micro-camera transmitting everything it sees to our monitor. See how it sneaks covertly past the window.”

Inside the drug dealers’ house…

β€œHey, there’s a bird flapping around outside the window with a great big camera strapped to its head. Kill it!”

And so Agent Smith’s SpyBird was consigned to the bin of espionage history alongside his equally ill-fated MurderPen, ExplosionSoap and ElectrocutionDoorbell. He later died of massive blood loss following an unfortunate incident during development of his ScissorBladeToiletSeat.

 

  1. June 13, 2018 at 7:51 pm

    Ouch painful way to go. An enjoyable amble with a couple of chuckles πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • June 14, 2018 at 7:18 am

      It doesn’t bear thinking about 😦 I’m glad you enjoyed it!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. June 13, 2018 at 7:58 pm

    CUT!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. June 13, 2018 at 8:34 pm

    It made me laugh. Got me thinking of Maxwell Smart

    Liked by 3 people

  4. June 13, 2018 at 8:38 pm

    Oh my…..

    Liked by 1 person

  5. June 13, 2018 at 8:56 pm

    Eek! Loved this story – gave me a good chuckle. Thanks!

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    Liked by 1 person

  6. June 13, 2018 at 9:03 pm

    Some people just aren’t naturally gifted at inventing stuff. RIP, Agent Smith.

    Like

    • June 14, 2018 at 7:19 am

      He had more enthusiasm than talent, I feel.

      Like

  7. June 13, 2018 at 9:41 pm

    Dear Ali,

    I don’t know if you ever saw 1960’s spy show, Get Smart, but I couldn’t help thinking of him as I was reading. However, that last line made me laugh out loud! You might not be taken with your story but I am. πŸ˜€

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 2 people

    • June 14, 2018 at 7:22 am

      Dear Rochelle,
      Yes, I saw it a long time ago and enjoyed it. We have a similar chap, “Johnny English”, played by Rowan Atkinson of Blackadder and Mr Bean fame. It started as a TV advert and became a couple of films.
      I’m glad you enjoyed it πŸ™‚
      Ali

      Like

  8. June 13, 2018 at 10:38 pm

    An amiable amble

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Mike
    June 13, 2018 at 11:23 pm

    Smiling all the way up till the end.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. June 13, 2018 at 11:43 pm

    Fun and interesting.

    Like

  11. June 14, 2018 at 3:25 am

    This is what you have lab assistants for…. to test out the inventions first. I don’t think the loss of Agent Smith will hurt the organization very much…

    Liked by 1 person

    • June 14, 2018 at 7:35 am

      They’re probably glad he’s gone. Maybe that’s why they didn’t assign him any lab assistants…

      Like

  12. June 14, 2018 at 3:33 am

    I give him an A for effort. Maybe, eventually, had he not killed himself, he would have made THE invention….

    Liked by 1 person

    • June 14, 2018 at 7:36 am

      Now we’ll never know… 😦

      Like

  13. June 14, 2018 at 7:15 am

    It seems Agent Smith was brilliant but his own worst enemy. 😦 — Suzanne

    Like

    • June 14, 2018 at 7:36 am

      Yes! It was his insistence on testing everything himself which eventually did him in πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  14. June 14, 2018 at 8:46 am

    I’m afraid I have to agree with you, not your usual scathingly funny stuff, though I loved the way he died. I too am not very kicked about my story today 😦

    Like

    • June 14, 2018 at 11:52 am

      I tend to go through phases πŸ™‚ It took a lot of last-minute thought to try to at least get a humorous death in there!

      Liked by 1 person

  15. June 14, 2018 at 9:05 am

    I felt the same way about my story. But at least it didn’t have a scissor-bladed toilet seat to reflect upon. 😦 Ouch!

    Liked by 1 person

    • June 14, 2018 at 11:52 am

      I thought, “how to save this story? I know – a humorous toilet-related accident” πŸ™‚

      Like

  16. June 14, 2018 at 9:41 am

    At least he tried, just a shame he made the wrong career choice!

    Click to read my FriFic tale

    Liked by 1 person

    • June 14, 2018 at 11:53 am

      There must have been other jobs available where he could have invented less lethal equipment πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  17. June 14, 2018 at 11:49 am

    fun read, it is nice to know that the early Tech spy techniques were so effective.

    Liked by 1 person

    • June 14, 2018 at 11:54 am

      At least his toilet had the desired effect, it just wasn’t supposed to be him!

      Liked by 1 person

  18. June 14, 2018 at 1:45 pm

    Hilarious! πŸ˜€

    Like

    • June 14, 2018 at 2:48 pm

      Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed it πŸ™‚

      Like

  19. June 14, 2018 at 2:25 pm

    I love all the inventions you came up with – except that last one. πŸ˜‰ A fun story.

    Liked by 1 person

    • June 14, 2018 at 2:48 pm

      He did dodge a few untimely ends before accidentally sitting on the wrong toilet seat πŸ™‚

      Like

  20. June 14, 2018 at 2:39 pm

    He needs a better Q. This is too funny. Robot birds are everywhere these days, it seems.

    Liked by 1 person

    • June 14, 2018 at 2:49 pm

      Yes, Bond struck it lucky that this guy wasn’t in charge of his tech πŸ™‚ I’m glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  21. June 14, 2018 at 3:05 pm

    Oh… and you leave me to imagine what part of the body the ScissorBladeToiletSeat bled.

    Snip snip

    Like

    • June 14, 2018 at 6:43 pm

      Don’t imagine too hard, you might have nightmares…

      Like

  22. June 14, 2018 at 6:54 pm

    Made me laugh, such an inventive story – love the idea of all these failed gadgets – especially the last one ! Sort of like James Bond gone horribly wrong.

    Liked by 1 person

    • June 15, 2018 at 6:42 am

      Ha yes, James Bond gone horribly wrong πŸ™‚ I’m glad you liked it!

      Like

  23. June 14, 2018 at 7:18 pm

    Reading this in work and I laughed out loud. Great piece!

    Liked by 1 person

    • June 15, 2018 at 6:42 am

      Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed it πŸ™‚

      Like

  24. June 14, 2018 at 7:53 pm

    The ScissorBladeToiletSeat…oh, the horror! πŸ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

  25. June 14, 2018 at 11:15 pm

    it’s not a total loss. i’m sure those who follow him will learn from his mistakes πŸ™‚

    Like

  26. June 15, 2018 at 1:20 pm

    LOL. Brilliantly done.

    Liked by 1 person

  27. June 15, 2018 at 1:29 pm

    Slick storytelling, Ali. Toilet-based humour is always good for giggle!

    Liked by 1 person

    • June 16, 2018 at 4:22 pm

      I felt it needed a little oomph at the end!

      Like

  28. June 15, 2018 at 2:07 pm

    The toilet was the dumbest idea–he deserved to be its first victim πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • June 16, 2018 at 4:32 pm

      I think the failure of his other inventions drove him to insane lengths πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  29. June 16, 2018 at 6:17 am

    Very funny – I suspect you enjoyed “inventing” all those gizmos.

    Liked by 1 person

    • June 16, 2018 at 4:33 pm

      I did! Took a bit of thought, though πŸ™‚

      Like

  30. June 16, 2018 at 10:56 am

    You have a really nasty imagination – clever, but nasty!

    Liked by 1 person

  31. June 16, 2018 at 4:37 pm

    LOL!

    Liked by 1 person

  32. June 16, 2018 at 5:24 pm

    Very funny, I liked his explosion soap. Rough way to go though. As someone else wrote, your story reminded me of Maxwell Smart. =)

    Liked by 1 person

    • June 17, 2018 at 4:42 am

      One of the roughest ways to go, I reckon. I’m glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  33. June 18, 2018 at 12:49 pm

    Wat on earth do you need a ScissorBladeToiletSeat for? Agent Smith was keen, but his superiors need to look to themselves for taking him on surely?
    Your story doesn’t amble; it’s funny and definitely goes places, even if they are a bit surreal.

    Liked by 2 people

    • June 18, 2018 at 12:50 pm

      I mean ‘what’ obviously. Think it’s time I got myself some glasses.

      Liked by 1 person

      • June 18, 2018 at 7:00 pm

        Sometimes I wish we could edit our own comments…

        Liked by 2 people

    • June 18, 2018 at 6:59 pm

      ScissorBladeToiletSeats are the next thing in remote assassination technologies. You mark is bound to use it sooner or later πŸ™‚ I’m glad you liked it!

      Liked by 2 people

  34. June 18, 2018 at 5:24 pm

    Brilliant!! πŸ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

  35. June 19, 2018 at 9:05 am

    Poor birdie, it was better if he landed in my paws…MOL πŸ˜€ Extra Pawkiss πŸ™‚ ❀

    Like

    • June 19, 2018 at 12:06 pm

      He does look quite tasty πŸ™‚

      Like

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