Home > Fiction > FF – Tales from a Chessboard

FF – Tales from a Chessboard

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Jeff Arnold.

I’ve gone completely wacky this week. Some might say surreal 🙂

Copyright Jeff Arnold

 

Tales from a Chessboard

“It’s not fair. I don’t wanna be a prawn.”

“It’s pawn.”

“Whatever. I wanna be a castle. Or a horsie. At least I have… insurance.

“Whaddya mean, insurance?”

“Well, Barry… watch out! Incoming bishop!”

Aaaaargh!”

“Ouch. Tough break. I would’ve expected better from a man of god – what did Barry ever do to you, your reverence?”

“He opposed my Master, the Golden-Eyed Bounteous Magnificence, as do you. Your fate is sealed, insignificant one.”

“Big talk! Well, my Master, the Squinty-Eyed Cheating Asshat, kitted me out with a machine gun.”

Rat-a-tat-a-tat!

“I win! All hail the prawns.”

 

  1. October 31, 2018 at 8:39 pm

    Nice personification of chess pieces..They were originally based on royalty anyway

    Like

    • October 31, 2018 at 8:44 pm

      Thanks! I’d never really thought about it but that makes sense.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. October 31, 2018 at 8:48 pm

    Most entertaining chess match I’ve ever watched, that’s for sure!

    Like

  3. October 31, 2018 at 8:55 pm

    Surreal, or so real? I’ll just go and check, mate!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. November 1, 2018 at 12:22 am

    Oh cool! You got yourself one of those fully loaded American chess sets!

    Like

    • November 1, 2018 at 7:23 am

      It was tricky getting it through Customs but worth it!

      Like

  5. November 1, 2018 at 4:36 am

    Ha ha ha, why didn’t we have games of chess like that when we were young(er)?

    Like

    • November 1, 2018 at 7:24 am

      It would have made we Chess Club members way cooler, that’s for sure!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. November 1, 2018 at 9:37 am

    You’ve opened up a whole new vision of chess. Loved this take on the photo prompt!

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    Like

    • November 1, 2018 at 1:03 pm

      It’s pretty scary when you examine the pawn’s eye view 🙂

      Like

  7. November 1, 2018 at 12:27 pm

    At least the game was over quickly. I do hate those long, drawn out affairs…

    Like

    • November 1, 2018 at 1:04 pm

      Yes, all that to-ing and fro-ing. Very boring. A short, sharp strike was definitely what was needed.

      Like

  8. November 1, 2018 at 2:37 pm

    Prawns! HAHAHAHA! Mermaid-approved!

    Like

    • November 2, 2018 at 7:37 am

      Hee, I couldn’t ask for a higher endorsement 🙂 I feel I should have a little “Mermaid-approved” badge for my sidebar!
      I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  9. November 1, 2018 at 4:53 pm

    This was the most fun I’ve had participating in a chess match… ‘Course, you had to go all ‘Murican on us… 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • November 2, 2018 at 7:41 am

      These prawns can go to any convenience store and walk out ten minutes later with a missile launcher. There ought to be a law… 😉

      Like

      • November 2, 2018 at 11:16 am

        There ought to be indeed…😁

        Liked by 1 person

  10. November 1, 2018 at 4:55 pm

    Ha! caught you taking a peek at my blog… because you left a trace, thank you for the like. Did you run away screaming or just meh ’tis nary for me. If you want to know why I peppered your posts with some likes and followed you, it is because I love your spin on things, and guffawed out loud a few times.

    I enjoyed this post too, very much once I’d gotten over a hurdle my mind plopped down – I read ‘cheeseboard’ instead of ‘chessboard’ and ‘prawns’ made more sense than pawns, but still what was a prawn doing on a cheeseboard?

    Like

    • November 2, 2018 at 8:00 am

      Thanks, I’m glad you’re enjoying my little stories 🙂 I followed you just now – I’m usually quicker at sorting these things out but we recently had loads of mail and websites blocked at work 😦 so I have to monitor everything on my phone, and being of an age group which remembers carrier pigeons (not really) it’s a struggle.
      I really loved your comic strip “Narcie the Narcissist” – very funny and true-to-life 🙂

      Of course, I had to rush to my blog to make sure I hadn’t mis-typed “chessboard”…

      Liked by 1 person

      • November 2, 2018 at 9:46 am

        I am of an age group which remembers the days when African swallows delivered coconuts, so I may be a tad older than you and this thing known as a phone doesn’t make as good a horse as the empty husks.

        It was only after I had commented that it struck me that I probably shouldn’t have commented (twas ever thus), at least not in the way that I did. I sounded like I was press ganging you into following me, my apologies, however thank you very much for the follow (you can unfollow now, I won’t notice, I was never very good at playing grandmother’s footsteps when I was it).

        Sorry about the cheeseboard thing, I have dyslexia, and when I’m tired it increases its shenanigans and reading becomes a series of farcical misunderstandings (reading the news can be hilarious… but I really shouldn’t be laughing).

        Don’t worry, I only comment sporadically on other people’s blogs. I prefer to just read and like what I read and like. I can do normal comments sometimes, but it requires that I pretend I’m normal and that is a bit trial and error.

        Thank you for liking Narcie, she is a bit special… she wouldn’t like knowing that you laughed at her so I won’t tell her 😉 but I’m very chuffed about it!

        Nice to blog-meet you, you have a wonderful online home 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • November 2, 2018 at 4:37 pm

        I didn’t feel press-ganged at all! And I read on your blog earlier that you have dyslexia – I wouldn’t have joked about you misreading it if I’d read that beforehand… but anyhew. We’re both following each other, cool, it’s all good 🙂

        Like

      • November 2, 2018 at 4:50 pm

        It’s all good 🙂 and that includes making jokes about me misunderstanding things – I make those all the time, jokes about my misunderstandings and misunderstandings. I have dyslexia not a humour lobotomy, and it makes me laugh so you can laugh too and I won’t get all huffy and puffy and blow your house down (please do not apply this to others because I can’t speak for them even though I did once want to be a ventriloquist)! You worry a lot… I used to do that too and made blogging a nightmare and a chore for myself. You can pretty much say anything to me and I’ll be … how do you do that sunglasses emoji? Anyway, all’s well 😀

        Liked by 1 person

      • November 2, 2018 at 4:57 pm

        although sometimes I miss it when someone is being funny and waggling a witty repartee at me because I was away with the fairies and… oh look sparklies 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  11. November 1, 2018 at 5:13 pm

    such a creative take on the prompt. i saw the pieces did come alive.

    Like

  12. November 1, 2018 at 8:49 pm

    I’m definitely down with the prawns.

    Like

  13. Abhijit Ray
    November 2, 2018 at 6:50 am

    Nice story. Love talking pieces.

    Like

    • November 2, 2018 at 7:42 am

      Thanks, I’m glad you liked my talking chess pieces!

      Like

  14. November 2, 2018 at 10:51 am

    Dear Ali,

    This sounds like it could be Chess meets Battleship. A very entertaining Chess match to be sure. I love where your crazy mind takes you. 😀

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    • November 2, 2018 at 4:39 pm

      Dear Rochelle,
      My mind does go a bit crazy sometimes. I blame the photo prompts 🙂 I’m glad you liked it!
      Ali

      Like

  15. November 2, 2018 at 11:04 am

    A right royal bunch of shenanigans. I love wacky so I loved it!

    Like

    • November 2, 2018 at 4:39 pm

      There was all sorts of craziness going on 🙂 I’m glad you liked it!

      Like

  16. November 2, 2018 at 11:20 am

    I would love to have witnessed that match! Delightfully different.

    Click to read my FriFic tale!

    Like

  17. November 2, 2018 at 3:51 pm

    Now if there were prawns at every chess match I might be inclined to show up. They would have to be free though so I could grab and go before the gunfight ensued. Very entertaining take on the prompt.

    Like

    • November 2, 2018 at 4:40 pm

      Just don’t mix them up with the pawns or you’ll chip your teeth 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  18. November 2, 2018 at 4:17 pm

    Squinty-Eyed Cheating Asshat!! Has a lovely ring to it!

    Like

  19. November 2, 2018 at 10:41 pm

    So much packed in!

    Like

  20. November 3, 2018 at 2:01 am

    Humor is tough to do well said and I enjoyed yours a lot !
    Thanks for the smiles

    Like

  21. November 3, 2018 at 2:31 pm

    Great fun. All hail the Prawns!

    Like

    • November 3, 2018 at 5:28 pm

      Yay, that’s exactly the kind of support the prawns need!

      Liked by 1 person

  22. November 4, 2018 at 4:05 pm

    Wait a second… is that a real machine gun? No blood was shed, I hope. Chess is certainly not worth dying for!

    Like

  23. November 4, 2018 at 4:18 pm

    I can see this also as a prawn knowing that he’s really a lobster.

    Like

    • November 4, 2018 at 5:45 pm

      And now he’s taking control, as lobsters do.

      Like

  24. November 4, 2018 at 5:30 pm

    Such a delightful take on the prompt – except the murder part but that’s what happens when prawns are left to their own devices.

    Like

    • November 4, 2018 at 5:48 pm

      Give a prawn a machine gun, bloodshed, every single time…

      Like

  25. November 5, 2018 at 10:54 am

    Well that take certainly brings the game to life. Very amusing

    Like

  26. November 5, 2018 at 5:29 pm

    Hmmm, interesting chess set. Your dialogue was delightful, I’m not sure about the machine gun (haha) but a very creative tale indeed.

    Like

    • November 6, 2018 at 8:44 am

      I was having trouble finishing the story off 🙂 I’m glad you liked it, machine gun notwithstanding!

      Liked by 1 person

  27. November 6, 2018 at 5:37 pm

    This was the most fun game of chess I have ever read.

    Like

  28. November 7, 2018 at 12:39 pm

    Hi, Draliman, yup, it’s me again, I’ve nominated you for a Liebster Blog Award. You can join in, ignore, use the questions as a writing prompt, spin it however your genius chooses.

    Here’s the link to the post: https://anupturnedsoul.wordpress.com/2018/11/07/the-liebster-award-2018-discover-new-blogs/

    Like

    • November 7, 2018 at 1:14 pm

      I don’t usually do awards things but since you gave me such a lovely write-up I feel moved to participate… 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  29. November 7, 2018 at 3:47 pm

    See now this is why I don’t play chess. Just too boring.

    Like

  1. November 7, 2018 at 12:13 pm

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