Home > Fiction > FF – Fruits of the Loom

FF – Fruits of the Loom

Here is my little story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Sandra Crook.

Stand by for a major groan-worthy play on words!

Copyright Sandra Crook

 

I didn’t mean to do it, but Gerald… that smug git. Always winding me up. So I grabbed him one day and shoved him towards the loom. His tie got stuck; the machines dragged him in.

Oh, the screams, the noises as he was shredded… I don’t mind telling you, it set my teeth on edge.

When the cotton came out it made the most beautiful blood-red pattern on the fabric…. once you picked bits of Gerald out of it.

In fact I might market it. Maybe mix in some more colours. Make a fortune.

Think I’ll call it “tie-die”…

 

  1. March 27, 2019 at 7:36 pm

    Tie-die!! Enjoyed the dark comedy!

    Like

  2. March 27, 2019 at 7:39 pm

    Definitely one of your best gruesome tales! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • March 27, 2019 at 8:17 pm

      A pretty gruesome scene, but potentially good news for our hero, financially 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. March 27, 2019 at 9:20 pm

    I think I lost the thread!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. March 27, 2019 at 9:57 pm

    Wince.

    Like

  5. March 27, 2019 at 10:51 pm

    A groan, but mixed with a healthy chortle too 🙂

    Like

  6. March 28, 2019 at 1:23 am

    I wonder if it’ll attract animals? 😛

    Like

    • March 28, 2019 at 7:33 am

      A nice quiet walk in the woods turns into a bloodbath… 🙂

      Like

  7. March 28, 2019 at 3:20 am

    Oh wow! LOL!

    Like

  8. March 28, 2019 at 9:02 am

    Grooooan… gruesome.

    Like

  9. March 28, 2019 at 10:01 am

    Tut, tut! Careless!
    I think your narrator will be hearing from the Health & Safety Executive before he gets his new fabric to market.

    Like

    • March 28, 2019 at 1:38 pm

      He’d best keep his manufacturing methods under his tastefully-decorated hat, then…

      Like

  10. March 28, 2019 at 10:12 am

    Wonderfully groan worthy ! A gruesome and inventive tale, love the pun at the end.

    Like

    • March 28, 2019 at 1:39 pm

      Ties are terribly dangerous around heavy machinery. I’m glad you liked it 🙂

      Like

  11. March 28, 2019 at 11:44 am

    So clever!! And I am betting there’d be a market for it..

    Like

    • March 28, 2019 at 1:40 pm

      I bet there would be too. I’m glad you liked it!

      Like

  12. March 28, 2019 at 11:47 am

    Har! Har! I loved this. That was one way to stitch up Gerald.

    Like

    • March 28, 2019 at 1:40 pm

      Haha very good 🙂 I’m glad you enjoyed it!

      Like

  13. March 28, 2019 at 11:58 am

    Dear Ali,

    Grisly bit of humour that. Put me in mind of the movie Fargo and the wood chipper. Eeeeew. Groaning and laughing.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

    • March 28, 2019 at 1:41 pm

      Dear Rochelle,
      Wood chipper scenes always make me laugh… um… I mean turn away from the screen in disgust 🙂
      I’m glad you liked it!
      Ali

      Like

  14. March 28, 2019 at 12:44 pm

    Haha awesome! I’m sure he had it coming.

    Like

    • March 28, 2019 at 1:41 pm

      Probably. And now he’s found immortality as a fashion statement! Lucky chap.

      Liked by 1 person

  15. March 28, 2019 at 2:15 pm

    I just realized that my face is twisted into an “Ugh!” expression. Smoothing it out 🙂 There, that’s better. And your writing was spot on, if a bit grisly 🙂

    Like

    • March 28, 2019 at 4:46 pm

      My protagonist doesn’t seem particularly bothered by it all… 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  16. March 28, 2019 at 2:42 pm

    That dark pun, though. I can picture the fabric, yikes!

    Like

  17. March 28, 2019 at 3:03 pm

    Well, just as long as no laboratory animals were harmed in the making of this product…

    Like

    • March 28, 2019 at 4:47 pm

      They hired a stunt possum from somewhere called “The Nest” during the initial testing phases, but after that it was all human.

      Like

      • March 28, 2019 at 5:42 pm

        I think PETA will be OK with that.

        Like

      • March 28, 2019 at 7:09 pm

        The waiver he signed was pretty air-tight.

        Like

  18. March 28, 2019 at 4:50 pm

    Well, you made me chuckle at someone’s horrible death, not every writer can pull something like that off!! Nice job!

    -Rachel

    Like

    • March 28, 2019 at 7:08 pm

      Heh, it’s all in the delivery 🙂 I’m glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  19. March 29, 2019 at 12:10 am

    Clever, nice one.

    Like

  20. March 29, 2019 at 2:16 am

    Yikes! That was dark but funny in a way (tie-die!). Great take on the prompt!

    Like

  21. March 29, 2019 at 4:12 am

    Groan and chortle and you are soo very bad you’re good!

    Like

  22. March 29, 2019 at 6:18 am

    I suspect you outdid Poe on this one Ali. Now I have to try and get the picture out of my mind.
    O_o —- Suzanne

    Like

    • March 29, 2019 at 7:55 am

      Google kittens doing funny things, that’ll do the trick 🙂

      Like

  23. March 29, 2019 at 8:52 am

    🙀We go for white ties from now on…MOL 😀 Purrfectly wirtten story, Draliman…gulp…Pawkisses for a Happy Weekend🐾😽💞

    Like

  24. March 29, 2019 at 11:30 am

    Now I’m wondering about the ti- die shirts I wore in the 60’s!

    My FriFic yarn!

    Like

  25. March 29, 2019 at 8:01 pm

    I’m laughing, with guilt of course. Great story!

    Like

  26. March 30, 2019 at 7:55 am

    What a monster this person is! He even relished the scream and hoping to make a fortune out of blood stained fabric.

    Like

    • March 30, 2019 at 5:45 pm

      Exactly. Hopefully someone will realise what he’s up to.

      Like

  27. March 31, 2019 at 9:34 pm

    Choan… or make that a gruckle. Can’t stop laughing about the grisly story and the comments.

    Like

  28. April 1, 2019 at 3:18 am

    Best pun of the day!

    Like

  29. Lyn
    April 1, 2019 at 7:09 am

    LOL Our D-man at his best 😀

    Like

  30. April 1, 2019 at 7:53 pm

    Eeeeew! Dark humour at its finest. 😀

    Like

  31. April 1, 2019 at 8:19 pm

    Ha… that made me laugh… I also imagine someone explaining Oh Gerald I love hue

    Like

  32. April 1, 2019 at 11:56 pm

    Oh my…this one has me shaking my head.

    Like

  33. April 3, 2019 at 5:43 pm

    …and the textile industry was actually capable of finding ways to make the exploitation even worse. Who would have known 😀

    Like

    • April 3, 2019 at 5:54 pm

      And it’s still not whiter than white today or even close…

      Liked by 1 person

  34. April 7, 2019 at 7:39 pm

    Oh, you have a mind of a real businessman! The world is worrying about resources, but you come up with these brilliant ideas about using human resources. Well done!

    Like

  35. April 8, 2019 at 2:34 pm

    Enjoyed!

    Like

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