Home > Fiction > FF – The Hungry Dead

FF – The Hungry Dead

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Roger Bultot.

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Copyright Roger Bultot

 

“Huh, it doesn’t look as scary as the photo in the advert.”

“That photo was digitally altered. This place looks rather pleasant. Dammit!”

“‘Haunted house’, indeed. Let’s go.”

Cecil Montague, dead these 300 years, watched from the tower, hunger blazing from his rotting eyes. After all these centuries, dinner approached… anticipation becoming despair as they left. So close – he could almost taste their flesh! He’d spent years learning how use a ‘computer’ to ‘Photoshop’ a ‘photograph’ to snare tasty ghosthunters. What a waste.

Time to change tack… now, where were those instructions on how to list a property on Airbnb…?

 

  1. April 10, 2019 at 6:52 pm

    Very tasty. At least it will be!

    Like

  2. April 10, 2019 at 7:22 pm

    Brilliant plot! 😉

    Like

  3. April 10, 2019 at 7:43 pm

    Cancel my reservation! At least Cecil keeps up with the latest gadgets. 😀

    Like

  4. Jelli
    April 10, 2019 at 7:55 pm

    Good one!

    Like

  5. April 10, 2019 at 8:16 pm

    It could be a real HIT on AirBNB. Everyone wants to stay in a haunted house, never mind the Zombie in the closet.

    Like

  6. April 10, 2019 at 9:29 pm

    Ghosts have to move with the times it seems!

    Like

  7. April 10, 2019 at 10:42 pm

    Haha! Quite a useful platform, airbnb…for many things.

    Like

    • April 11, 2019 at 6:48 am

      It’s very versatile, I don’t think Cecil will be disappointed!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. April 11, 2019 at 7:54 am

    MOL…even the ghosts keep up with the time…MOL 😀 Pawkisses for a wonderful day🐾😽💞

    Like

  9. April 11, 2019 at 11:05 am

    Hilarious, Ali. Poor Cecil. After all that work. Even an industrious zombie doesn’t stand a chance sometimes with all the competition. 😀 — Suzanne

    Like

    • April 12, 2019 at 12:00 pm

      I bet his undead neighbours get all sorts of tasty visitors 🙂

      Like

  10. April 11, 2019 at 12:11 pm

    I feel sorry for the ghost. He’s trying!

    Like

    • April 12, 2019 at 12:00 pm

      Yeah, learning all the new skills and everything. Fingers crossed for his Airbnb endeavour!

      Liked by 1 person

  11. April 11, 2019 at 1:58 pm

    Clever story, and funny too – but do ghosts really still eat?

    Like

    • April 12, 2019 at 12:01 pm

      He could well be a zombie – they definitely eat!

      Like

  12. April 11, 2019 at 4:08 pm

    The living! Hmph. Back in the day he used to scare people away and now he’s not scary enough for them. Oh well, they’re pretty easy to fool, so I’m sue he’ll come up with some plan.

    Like

    • April 12, 2019 at 12:01 pm

      I blame “The Walking Dead” – people are so jaded these days…

      Liked by 1 person

  13. April 11, 2019 at 6:53 pm

    Fabulous! Made me chortle.

    Like

  14. April 11, 2019 at 8:02 pm

    He just needs to learn how to act like a ghost–rattle some chains, slam some doors… that would lure them inside!

    Maybe there’s an online how-to book about it! It’s not over yet!

    -Rachel

    Like

  15. April 11, 2019 at 8:20 pm

    Dear Ali,

    300 years is a long time to wait for your next meal. Hilarious take.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

    • April 12, 2019 at 12:02 pm

      Dear Rochelle,
      He’s certainly getting pretty hungry by now. I’m glad you liked it!
      Ali

      Like

  16. April 11, 2019 at 10:10 pm

    he can’t give up now. the hunger he is, the more creative he should get to attract preys. 🙂

    Like

  17. April 11, 2019 at 11:07 pm

    This is no ordinary ghost/spectre. They eat? Terrible stuff. Image is everything. He’ll get it eventually!

    Like

  18. April 12, 2019 at 12:29 am

    Geez, just pick up the phone and order a pizza to be delivered. You’ll get brains and an appetizer…

    Like

    • April 12, 2019 at 12:04 pm

      The obvious has not yet occurred to poor Cecil…

      Like

  19. April 12, 2019 at 1:37 am

    (I’ve tried to post this 3 times! I hope they don’t all come through) This is very fun. Except for the eyeball thing. The eyeball thing is creepy.

    Like

    • April 12, 2019 at 12:05 pm

      They did all come through! But I deleted them 🙂
      Yes, there’s something especially nasty about rotting, oozing eyeballs…

      Like

  20. April 12, 2019 at 12:58 pm

    Made me laugh – a failing vampire who uses photoshop & Airbnb – brilliant. I felt sorry for our 300 year old friend, must be pretty hungry by now. Any dead rats around the place as a snack ?

    Like

    • April 12, 2019 at 6:38 pm

      Ooh, I don’t know. After watching Angel and Buffy, I feel that vampires that eat rats are rather frowned upon by the wider undead community. I’m glad you liked it!

      Like

  21. April 12, 2019 at 2:51 pm

    Holy horrors! What’s so amazing is the degree of sympathy one feels for the vampire 🙂

    Like

  22. April 12, 2019 at 7:26 pm

    Oh this is perfect, he’ll have so much to eat, he’ll be able to store some for slow times. Hilarious.

    Like

    • April 12, 2019 at 8:34 pm

      He’ll have such wonderful choice, too 🙂 I’m glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  23. April 12, 2019 at 11:08 pm

    This story is both creepy and hilarious! How many fictioneers can claim that????

    Like

  24. April 13, 2019 at 3:15 am

    Cecil Montague is hungry for 300 years! Why doesn’t he go out and eat? He can operate computers, certainly he will be able to hunt.

    Like

    • April 13, 2019 at 3:32 pm

      My original thought was that he was somehow mystically connected to the property, but maybe he’s just lazy!

      Like

  25. April 13, 2019 at 6:35 pm

    All that wasted time, but he does have all the time in the world. A new tactic might provide a diversion from his hunger. I like the “rotting eyes” bit. Creative as always!!

    Like

    • April 14, 2019 at 6:07 am

      I’m sure he’ll have fun learning all about marketing the property for the short-term rental market. I’m glad you liked it!

      Like

  26. April 13, 2019 at 10:08 pm

    Brilliant take on the photo prompt. I loved it and wanted more. Great writing.

    Like

    • April 14, 2019 at 6:07 am

      Thanks, I’m glad you liked it. It would be fun to find out how he gets on!

      Liked by 1 person

  27. April 13, 2019 at 11:48 pm

    An adaptable ghost. I feel a bit sorry for him – he’s trying so hard to stay current. Good story.

    Like

    • April 14, 2019 at 6:10 am

      I feel a bit sorry for him too, all that effort to keep up with the times – even though his aim is to eat someone 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  28. April 15, 2019 at 5:08 pm

    Oh, I love this one!!!

    Like

  29. April 15, 2019 at 6:26 pm

    With an Internet connection, it’s only a matter of time before he finds a willing victim. There are all sorts of people in this world, so I’m guessing that someone somewhere would willingly become his meal…

    Like

  30. April 19, 2019 at 10:26 am

    Poor old Cecil, 300 years and now he’s got to think again. Still I reckon Air B&B should do it. Nicely done

    Like

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