FF – Most Wanted!
Here is my even sillier-than-last-week’s story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Roget Bultot.
Work is mad, I’m doing 11+ hour days, so here’s something I knocked out in my lunch break.

Copyright Roger Bultot
“Newtown’s Most Wanted”, by reporter Tim Pointless
Police are today searching for a band of merciless criminals. Sgt Doughnut from Newtown Constabulary explains:
“They’re roving the streets, cold-bloodedly washing cars without permission, left, right and centre. Left, right and centre!”
I asked Sgt Doughnut why this was such a problem.
“Look at all the suds! You could slip and break a hip! Little bastards. Pardon my French.”
Newtown Constabulary responded with “no comment”, but muttered that “Sgt Doughnut should never have been allowed out near the public, the daft bugger.”
Next week – “Flower Arranging exposé – the dark side of Ikebana”
At least the story was clean!
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Ha ha 🙂
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There should be a zero tolerance on things like this… I imagine that the perpetrators to be girls in bikini, so Doughnut might be able to add indecent exposure to the charges of reckless sudding
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Ooh, I hope so 😉
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They’re just a bunch of amateur Felix Ungers. The real Felix would clean up his mess and keep things all as plum tidy as can be
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Ha, when I Googled who “Felix Unger” is, he came up as an pioneering Austrian heart surgeon, which confused me a bit (I don’t know if we ever got “The Odd Couple” over here)!
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If I could have the address, I have a car that could do with a good clean – I’m sure they’d enjoy the challenge!
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If you’ll keep Sgt Doughnut busy for an hour I’m sure they’ll be happy to oblige!
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Sgt. Doughnut is someone to be watched. Can’t wait to read about the Ikebana. This was fun.
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The Ikebana story will knock your socks off! All I need is a photo prompt with a bunch of flowers in…
I’m glad you liked it!
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HAHAHA! Free doughnuts for everyone! 😀
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Yay 🙂
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I like your sense of humor. Sounds like they are working your pretty hard at your job.
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Very busy at the moment 😦
I’m glad you liked the story!
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So sorry for your workload. Love Sgt. Doughnut and hope to hear more from him. Entertaining as always! 🙂
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He’s a right one, that Sgt Doughnut 🙂 I’m glad you liked it!
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I like Sgt Doughnut. He should make another appearance.
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He may well! If he manages to escape from behind his desk again 🙂
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Sgt. Doughnut really isn’t that bright for rising to his rank on the force. Can’t he tell the remnants of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man when he sees them? It shouldn’t take the forensics and baking team to solve this caper…
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Don’t eat the evidence, Sgt Doughnut! Oh dear, too late.
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My first big grin of the day! More of Sgt. Doughnut’s cases, please!
My story – ‘This way that way!’
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I’ll see what I can do! I’m glad you enjoyed it.
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Good one! I hope Sgt. Doughnut becomes a regular!
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A few people have requested a come-back, so he may well be back. I’m glad you liked it!
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Dear Ali,
Sgt. Doughnut, eh? Does this mean that the police over there subsist on sweet rolls like our men in blue in the States? We could use some serial car washers in our neighborhood. You are daft…and I love it.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
Don’t police the world over? 😉
The busier I am, the dafter I become. One day I’ll retire and write something deep and meaningful 🙂
Ali
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Ah, ha, ha. This is hilarious, Ali. I love the name Doughnut for the Sargent. I think he needs some leave time beginning like yesterday. 😀 — Suzanne
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I think the whole force would be happy if he took a nice long leave 🙂
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I think you’re right. 😀 — Suzanne
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Ha!! This is a great story, absolutely loved it!
-Rachel 🙂
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I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂
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Pardon my French! 🙂
I want a doughnut. 😦
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I want a doughnut too 🙂 I’m sure I have some Easter chocolate left…
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I love doughnuts, and I should never, ever eat one because then I need another. . . . anyway, this was great fun, and took the edge off of some of the more serious posts this week.
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I like to keep it light – unless I’m doing another apocalypse :-). I’m glad you enjoyed it!
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I was in the mood for a big plate of Sillier-than-last-week. You do not disappoint. 🙂
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It was definitely sillier than last week, which was quite a feat! I’m glad you liked it 🙂
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Have no fear, Sgt Doughnut is here. I bet he’ll get these terrorists behind bars in notime
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There’s no stopping him. Unfortunately.
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I wish these random car washers would come wash my car left, right and centre. My neighborhood could use someone as humorous as Sergeant Doughnut too. Fun story!
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A real community policeman 🙂 I wouldn’t mind if my car got hit in a random drive-by washing either…
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This was perfect, Alistair! Maybe being overloaded at work is good to get your silly out!
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I was in need of some light relief. I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂
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You did well!
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Are you sure they eat the sgt, or maybe cleaned him too…MOL 😀 Pawkisses for a Happy Caturday🐾😽💞
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I meant “didn’t eat” of course 😉
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I thought for a minute you were graduating from mousies to larger prey 🙂
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What street is the illegal car wash… I’m in great need! Enjoyed!
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You’re in luck, it’s just round the corner!
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They could come here and scrubadub. NO ONE would complain. Promise!
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I think Sgt Doughnut has misread his public…
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Someone’s doing a car wash for free? They charge an arm and a leg round where I live.
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Sunday will oft see me with sponge and watering can in hand…
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Ha! Ha! I am looking forward to reading that exposé of the dark side of Ikebana now 😉
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You won’t believe what Tim Pointless has uncovered 🙂
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I like Sergeant Doughnut. Nobody wants slippery streets. I’m in awe of what you can come up with in a rushed lunch break. I hope things slow down for you. I can recommend retirement – sleep in every morning if you like.
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Can’t retire. Need money 🙂 I’m glad you liked it!
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Where is this free car wash, I need to go…. 🙂
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Follow the suds 🙂
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In a crime free Newtown, Sgt. Doughnut has a lot of free time. No wonder he is searching for a crime to make his job meaningful. I like the name Sgt. Doughnut. He must be favourite of some people!
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Who knows what he will find next!
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Sgt Doughnut?
LOL
That is SO wrong!
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I did wonder if it was a tad stereotypical… 😉
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LOL
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Those inconsiderate car washers could’ve waited until it got warmer… all that water freezing on the roads is indeed hazardous!
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The thoughtless swine 🙂
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