Home > Fiction > FF – Safety First!

FF – Safety First!

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by J Hardy Carroll.

Copyright J Hardy Carroll


“Ha ha you have tied my utensils to the ceiling what a jape.”

“Yes ha ha now you cannot cook.”

“But… (line!)

(But I must cook…)

“But I must cook I shall retrieve my utensils.”

“No you must not you may be hurt.”

“Oh nonsense I will just use this ladder help I am falling.”

“Oh no he is dead how tragic what have I done what have I done.”



We hope you enjoyed our safety video. Don’t muck about in the kitchen! It’s a dangerous place!


(Actors sought for our next video, “Danger in the Bedroom!” Preferably with talent this time.)


  1. September 18, 2019 at 6:50 pm

    Dear Ali,

    Those safety videos do tend to come up short when it comes to talented actors, don’t they? I chuckled as I imagined what this one looked like. 😉



    Liked by 1 person

    • September 18, 2019 at 7:01 pm

      Dear Rochelle,
      I imagine the “falling from the ceiling” special effects were particularly spectacular 🙂


  2. September 18, 2019 at 6:58 pm

    Can I please have an application form? I do not have any talent in the bedroom (so I’ve often been told) but I have served time there, about 24 years by my estimate!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. September 18, 2019 at 7:07 pm

    Good one.


  4. September 18, 2019 at 7:15 pm

    HAHAHA! I can imagine how funny the next video will be! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • September 18, 2019 at 7:29 pm

      What could possibly go wrong in the bedroom? I can’t wait to find out 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  5. bearmkwa
    September 18, 2019 at 7:46 pm

    I can just picture that as a real video… laughter and mayhem ensue! Great one!

    Liked by 1 person

    • September 19, 2019 at 6:35 am

      Their faces locked into wooden expressions as they try to remember back to drama class 🙂 I’m glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. September 18, 2019 at 8:47 pm

    The initial plan may have ignored some possibilities. Great fun


    • September 19, 2019 at 6:37 am

      They didn’t read their kitchen safety manual, evidently!


  7. September 18, 2019 at 8:49 pm

    Kitchens are no place for humour! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • September 19, 2019 at 6:50 am

      Indeed. They are serious places for serious cooking. No hi-jinks allowed 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  8. September 18, 2019 at 11:24 pm

    Funny and great capture of lifeless acting. I could hear each mis-delivery clearly!


  9. September 19, 2019 at 1:38 am

    So … don’t tie the utensils to the ceiling?


    • September 19, 2019 at 6:45 am

      That seems to be main thrust of the video. Sadly there are many more likely kitchen mishaps the director has failed to address…


  10. September 19, 2019 at 2:38 am

    beware, accident can happen even when making a safety video. 🙂


  11. September 19, 2019 at 10:21 am

    Ah, ha, ha. Your comments were as hilarious as the script for the safety video. They make some horrible no smoking videos here. They bother me more than the violent news videos. —- Suzanne


    • September 19, 2019 at 12:49 pm

      I’ve seen some hilarious “lab safety” ones. They weren’t supposed to be funny, though 🙂


  12. September 19, 2019 at 10:28 am

    I could see it acting out as I read it! A simply brilliant little tale.

    Here’s my story.


  13. September 19, 2019 at 10:57 am

    I thought the acting was top notch and award winning. I’m assuming a new actor is only desired since one of the current ones broke him neck in the line of duty…


    • September 19, 2019 at 12:51 pm

      He did, though I can’t help thinking it was a mistake casting a possum as “unfortunate victim”… made the death scene quite realistic, mind.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. September 19, 2019 at 5:05 pm

    Great story and great actors…MOL MOL😹Pawkisses for a Happy Thursday🐾😽💞


    • September 21, 2019 at 7:16 am

      They’ll soon be A-list Hollywood 🙂


  15. September 19, 2019 at 7:04 pm

    Made me laugh, the wooden way of speaking, and the silliness of climbing to the ceiling to get the spoon and the sieve. Nicely done. Look forward to safety video sequel.


    • September 21, 2019 at 7:18 am

      Just like all the safety videos I’ve ever seen! I’m glad you liked it 🙂


  16. September 19, 2019 at 7:33 pm

    Only you could have someone die in the kitchen while cooking. ;0)
    Oh wait. They were actors.
    Only you could kill an innocent actor in the kitchen while pretending to cook.
    I think the ladder did it and you told him what to do.


  17. September 20, 2019 at 2:27 am

    Sounds like a fun series.


  18. September 20, 2019 at 5:09 am

    This was a hoot, Ali. I was thinking.. gee, the language is so stilted. And then I could just picture said “commercial”!
    Good one.


    • September 21, 2019 at 7:21 am

      Sometimes it’s hard not to laugh at safety videos, but you’re supposed to take them seriously 🙂 I’m glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  19. September 20, 2019 at 6:29 am

    Most of the dangers in a bedroom come when it’s not your bedroom. 😉


    • September 21, 2019 at 7:21 am

      Ha ha you’re not wrong 😉


  20. September 20, 2019 at 7:34 pm

    Fun and light-hearted 🙂


  21. September 21, 2019 at 3:29 am

    Don’t do this at home kids 😀.


    • September 21, 2019 at 7:23 am

      Maybe I should have added a disclaimer – so many people like to copy everything they see on YouTube these days 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  22. September 21, 2019 at 6:27 am

    Why such allergy with cooking? Was she a bad cook? People die of overeating. This person died of retrieving her pots and pans!


    • September 21, 2019 at 7:24 am

      I suspect it was more the fall from the ladder. Good job it was only an actor!


  23. September 21, 2019 at 9:12 pm

    Well they do seem to get terrible actors in for the H&S videos, good stuff


  24. September 22, 2019 at 1:05 pm

    It’s easy to blame the actors for their poor performance, but what about the one who wrote that awful dialogue? Oh, it was you… 😉
    A fun read.☺


    • September 22, 2019 at 4:32 pm

      Guilty as charged! It would have been great had the actors been up to snuff 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  25. September 22, 2019 at 2:39 pm

    Safety Video of the Year award winner here.


  26. September 22, 2019 at 7:44 pm

    Dangers in the bedroom… Rated R?


  27. September 23, 2019 at 2:22 pm

    LOL…makes me think of the many safety videos from work.


  28. September 24, 2019 at 4:24 pm

    Better pay attention!


    • September 24, 2019 at 7:02 pm

      It’s burned into my brain, I won’t be making the same mistake!

      Liked by 1 person

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