FF – Salt of the Earth
Here is my contribution to Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This weeks’ photo was contributed by Roger Bultot.

Copyright Roger Bultot
“Tamatahs, 50p the pahhhhhnd…”
“Um excuse me, sir, you don’t have any, um, tomatoes…”
“It’s wot I say, guv’nor. How abaht some nice apples?”
“Oh, yes, please!”
“Why not make it da full staircase?”
“…?”
“Apples ‘n pears. Stairs.”
“Oh, yes, of course! You salt of the Earth chaps with your Cockney rhyming slang!”
“Salt of da WHAT?”
SMACK!
“Umph…”
Hey, Harry, that means grass roots working geezer!
“Ah, shit. Sorry. Here’s some apples on da haaas, I’ll stick ‘em in dis bag wiv yer teef.”
“Umph…”
“’Av a good suck on dem ‘til yer mouf is fixed…”
“Umph…”
“Tamatahs, 50p the pahhhhhnd…”
Categories: Fiction
flash fiction, Friday Fictioneers
Those might be the most expensive free apples ever.
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His dentist is going to think all their Christmases have come at once.
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When classes collide.
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Always fun!
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Everything but the jellied eels. Enjoyed that.
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Aargh, I missed the most vital ingredient! I’m glad you liked it.
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HAHAHA! Good one, bruv! 😀
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Thanks, sis 🙂
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Misunderstandings make great material for stories
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They do indeed!
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My Dad always said – Lad you get nowt in life for free.
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Agreed. Though broken teeth is quite a lot to pay for a few apples…!
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How do they understand each other? I bet they are just guessing.
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A bit like me when I’m on the phone to a call centre…
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Totally clever! I love things written in dialect….
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It’s a bit tricky, to get the right “sound” but still make it so readers can understand it 🙂 I’m glad you liked it!
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A lively and entertaining story, Ali! I liked your dialogue.
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Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed their little confrontation 🙂
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I nominate this for a Best Foreign Language Film award. Oh, wait….
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Cheeky geezer…
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it looks like sign of things to come. i shudder at the thought.
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Yes, one day soon me may all be speaking Cockney…
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He he – you captured his voice perfectly. I remember blokes in the market who sounded just like Harry. Great little read!
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
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I’m glad he sounded authentic 🙂
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Love it, I felt I was wandering through Borough Market! Right, I’m off for a ruby.
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I’m pretty partial to a nice hot ruby myself!
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Dear Ali,
Brutally funny. Nuffink worse than getting ‘it in one’s teef.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
Indeed there is not! I’m glad you liked it.
Ali
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Entertaining, although I was not sure why he got smacked?
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Poor Harry didn’t understand the expression, though he was being insulted.
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Seriously laugh out loud funny Ali, love the you mangle the grocer’s vowels, kind of a parody ?
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A bit of East End London 🙂
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Oh my, I wouldn’t want to run into him in my market. Nice one.
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You’d have to be careful what you say!
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I’ll avoid that place. seems like the stall holder doesn’t have a sense of humour. Get it wrong and he batters your boat race.
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Yep, he’ll knock your Hampsteads right out.
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Yup, sociolects to confusion. You made me smile there.
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I’m glad you liked it!
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Too funny. I’m still laughing.
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Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed it!
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It’s not easy writing dialect, you pulled it off. Great story!
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It’s tricky to get the sound but still make it readable. I’m glad you liked it!
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Great humour again but surely he should be putting his Hampstead’s in the bag.
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I was trying to avoid adding a glossary!
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Me finks that was a jolly bi’ a fun! Well, not for the guy who lost his teeth. Great stuff! =)
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Fanks, I’m glad it gave you a bit of a larf 🙂
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MOL…I have to upgrade my English and give myself an accent…MOL…this was funny, Draliman😸Extra Pawkisses🐾😽💞
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A Cockney kitty 🙂
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This was fun… I would be totally lost in a case like this…
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Me too, I reckon!
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“I’ll stick em in the bag wiv your teeth”! Ooh that was hilarious.
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He’s quite polite, helping out and all…!
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Gotta watch that mouth! 😳
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Once it’s fixed 🙂
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