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FF – Lost Religion

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Sandra Crook.

I can’t help thinking that this might be the same crowd which was hoping to worship a shoe lace a couple of weeks back…

Copyright Sandra Crook

“All hail the Sacred Scarecrow! We, your humble servants worship you! As did our ancestors!”

All hail! Worship you! Ancestors!

“The All Powerful! The All Knowing! God of all!”

The All… wait a sec, Bert, there’s a crow on the Sacred Scarecrow!

“What? Arse. Um. Ahem… the Sacred Scarecrow has betrayed us!”

Betrayed us!

”Burn the Sacred Scarecrow!”

Burn it! Burn it! And sacrifice Bert for leading us astray!

“Burn it, bring forth the Sacred Matches and… wait, what? No, no…!”



Shame about Bert.

  1. December 16, 2020 at 8:19 pm

    The rewards of being a sect leader can be great, but so also are the perils

    Liked by 1 person

    • December 18, 2020 at 5:29 am

      Bert learned that the hard way and now his goose is cooked. As is he.


  2. December 16, 2020 at 9:09 pm

    Should’ve stuck with the shoe lace.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. December 16, 2020 at 9:28 pm

    Absolutely hilarious! Now the crow has formed his own cult and owns the pub. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • December 18, 2020 at 5:39 am

      Haha, they’ll get a surprise when they turn up for their pints and crisps 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. December 16, 2020 at 10:49 pm

    the more things change, the more…
    It just keeps on happening doesn’t it

    Liked by 1 person

    • December 18, 2020 at 5:39 am

      They’re never going to learn.


  5. December 16, 2020 at 11:29 pm

    I have an old pac a mac you could worship if you like!


    • December 18, 2020 at 5:48 am

      Steady on, that sounds a bit too exciting for this crowd!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. December 17, 2020 at 12:32 am

    Yeah, let’s see what this leader brings about.


  7. December 17, 2020 at 12:51 am

    And as simple as that …. is where all things go to shit! That’s how world leaders make decisions, no


    • December 18, 2020 at 6:02 am

      Sometimes the decisions of the “greats” do seem a bit random.


  8. December 17, 2020 at 1:12 am

    If only all cults crumbled that easily.

    Liked by 1 person

    • December 18, 2020 at 6:04 am

      Yes, the swift removal of the leader and an evening down the pub is far better than the fate of some.

      Liked by 2 people

  9. December 17, 2020 at 6:26 am

    Can I see this in movie format? Love the madness.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Lyn
    December 17, 2020 at 7:31 am

    The local pub fixes everything 😀


  11. December 17, 2020 at 10:24 am

    Thanks for a good laugh 😀


    • December 18, 2020 at 8:32 am

      I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂


  12. December 17, 2020 at 1:20 pm

    That poor crow. I’m sure he’ll make a fine appetizer at the pub…


    • December 18, 2020 at 8:35 am

      He can always feast on barbecued Bert…


  13. December 17, 2020 at 1:37 pm

    At least something good came out of it in the end 😀


  14. December 17, 2020 at 3:04 pm

    There hearts just aren’t in it, are they?


    • December 18, 2020 at 8:36 am

      No, they seem to give up at the first hurdle!


  15. December 17, 2020 at 4:52 pm

    Something gloriously Pythonesque/Life of Brian about this. Poor Bert. (But I still laughed.)

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos


    • December 18, 2020 at 8:38 am

      Yes, a bit surreal. Bert had his chance 🙂


  16. December 17, 2020 at 5:29 pm

    Just shows to go ya, Ali. Never put your trust in a scarecrow…sacred or otherwise. 😉




    • December 18, 2020 at 8:41 am

      Shoelaces, scarecrows, they’re a constant source of disappoint, omniscience-wise 🙂


  17. December 17, 2020 at 5:36 pm

    Poor ole Bert, missing out on a drink in the pub!

    My story!


  18. December 17, 2020 at 9:51 pm

    it sounds like the guys have too much to drink already. 🙂


  19. December 18, 2020 at 7:53 am

    That was inflammatory fiction, but a few pints will put the fire out. 😯


    • December 18, 2020 at 8:51 am

      Ha yes, very inflammatory! A few pints cure a multitude of ills (temporarily) 🙂


  20. December 18, 2020 at 10:23 am

    A strange feeling of being the scapegoat, poor Bert. Mind you the pub is still open, lucky them.


  21. December 18, 2020 at 3:02 pm

    Kind of a “what goes around comes around” situation.


  22. December 18, 2020 at 4:15 pm

    That took a nasty turn!


    • December 19, 2020 at 5:46 am

      It did. For Bert. Everyone else is having a great time 🙂


  23. December 19, 2020 at 1:40 am

    Love how you continued last week’s story. What goes around comes around I guess.


    • December 19, 2020 at 5:48 am

      I wonder what direction the new leader will take? Pub crawls, possibly. That will be far more popular.


  24. December 20, 2020 at 12:33 am

    Sounds about right for the shoelace scarecrow cultists.


  25. December 20, 2020 at 11:16 am

    What a fickle crowd, blink and they turn on you !


  26. December 20, 2020 at 4:34 pm

    A tad extreme, the followers’ reaction!
    But maybe Bert is heading to a better place, hmm?

    Liked by 1 person

    • December 20, 2020 at 5:10 pm

      His followers are headed for a better place anyway 🙂


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