Home > Fiction > FF – Lost Religion

FF – Lost Religion

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Sandra Crook.

I can’t help thinking that this might be the same crowd which was hoping to worship a shoe lace a couple of weeks back…

Copyright Sandra Crook

“All hail the Sacred Scarecrow! We, your humble servants worship you! As did our ancestors!”

All hail! Worship you! Ancestors!

“The All Powerful! The All Knowing! God of all!”

The All… wait a sec, Bert, there’s a crow on the Sacred Scarecrow!

“What? Arse. Um. Ahem… the Sacred Scarecrow has betrayed us!”

Betrayed us!

”Burn the Sacred Scarecrow!”

Burn it! Burn it! And sacrifice Bert for leading us astray!

“Burn it, bring forth the Sacred Matches and… wait, what? No, no…!”

WHOOMP!

“Aaargghhhh!”

Shame about Bert.
Yep.
Pub?
Yep.

  1. December 16, 2020 at 8:19 pm

    The rewards of being a sect leader can be great, but so also are the perils

    Like

    • December 18, 2020 at 5:29 am

      Bert learned that the hard way and now his goose is cooked. As is he.

      Like

  2. December 16, 2020 at 9:09 pm

    Should’ve stuck with the shoe lace.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. December 16, 2020 at 9:28 pm

    Absolutely hilarious! Now the crow has formed his own cult and owns the pub. 😀

    Like

    • December 18, 2020 at 5:39 am

      Haha, they’ll get a surprise when they turn up for their pints and crisps 🙂

      Like

  4. December 16, 2020 at 10:49 pm

    the more things change, the more…
    It just keeps on happening doesn’t it

    Liked by 1 person

    • December 18, 2020 at 5:39 am

      They’re never going to learn.

      Like

  5. December 16, 2020 at 11:29 pm

    I have an old pac a mac you could worship if you like!

    Like

    • December 18, 2020 at 5:48 am

      Steady on, that sounds a bit too exciting for this crowd!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. December 17, 2020 at 12:32 am

    Yeah, let’s see what this leader brings about.

    Like

  7. December 17, 2020 at 12:51 am

    And as simple as that …. is where all things go to shit! That’s how world leaders make decisions, no

    Like

    • December 18, 2020 at 6:02 am

      Sometimes the decisions of the “greats” do seem a bit random.

      Like

  8. December 17, 2020 at 1:12 am

    If only all cults crumbled that easily.

    Like

    • December 18, 2020 at 6:04 am

      Yes, the swift removal of the leader and an evening down the pub is far better than the fate of some.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. December 17, 2020 at 6:26 am

    Can I see this in movie format? Love the madness.

    Like

  10. Lyn
    December 17, 2020 at 7:31 am

    The local pub fixes everything 😀

    Like

  11. December 17, 2020 at 10:24 am

    Thanks for a good laugh 😀

    Like

    • December 18, 2020 at 8:32 am

      I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂

      Like

  12. December 17, 2020 at 1:20 pm

    That poor crow. I’m sure he’ll make a fine appetizer at the pub…

    Like

    • December 18, 2020 at 8:35 am

      He can always feast on barbecued Bert…

      Like

  13. December 17, 2020 at 1:37 pm

    At least something good came out of it in the end 😀

    Like

  14. December 17, 2020 at 3:04 pm

    There hearts just aren’t in it, are they?

    Like

    • December 18, 2020 at 8:36 am

      No, they seem to give up at the first hurdle!

      Like

  15. December 17, 2020 at 4:52 pm

    Something gloriously Pythonesque/Life of Brian about this. Poor Bert. (But I still laughed.)

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    Like

    • December 18, 2020 at 8:38 am

      Yes, a bit surreal. Bert had his chance 🙂

      Like

  16. December 17, 2020 at 5:29 pm

    Just shows to go ya, Ali. Never put your trust in a scarecrow…sacred or otherwise. 😉

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

    • December 18, 2020 at 8:41 am

      Shoelaces, scarecrows, they’re a constant source of disappoint, omniscience-wise 🙂

      Like

  17. December 17, 2020 at 5:36 pm

    Poor ole Bert, missing out on a drink in the pub!

    My story!

    Like

  18. December 17, 2020 at 9:51 pm

    it sounds like the guys have too much to drink already. 🙂

    Like

  19. December 18, 2020 at 7:53 am

    That was inflammatory fiction, but a few pints will put the fire out. 😯

    Like

    • December 18, 2020 at 8:51 am

      Ha yes, very inflammatory! A few pints cure a multitude of ills (temporarily) 🙂

      Like

  20. December 18, 2020 at 10:23 am

    A strange feeling of being the scapegoat, poor Bert. Mind you the pub is still open, lucky them.

    Like

    • December 19, 2020 at 5:43 am

      Someone always has to take the blame. This story must be set down here with me in Tier 1 🙂

      Like

      • December 19, 2020 at 7:16 am

        I would love to be in tier 1.

        Like

      • December 20, 2020 at 6:45 am

        Not an uncommon wish, I’m thinking.

        Liked by 1 person

  21. December 18, 2020 at 3:02 pm

    Kind of a “what goes around comes around” situation.

    Like

  22. December 18, 2020 at 4:15 pm

    That took a nasty turn!

    Like

    • December 19, 2020 at 5:46 am

      It did. For Bert. Everyone else is having a great time 🙂

      Like

  23. December 19, 2020 at 1:40 am

    Love how you continued last week’s story. What goes around comes around I guess.

    Like

    • December 19, 2020 at 5:48 am

      I wonder what direction the new leader will take? Pub crawls, possibly. That will be far more popular.

      Like

  24. December 20, 2020 at 12:33 am

    Sounds about right for the shoelace scarecrow cultists.

    Like

  25. December 20, 2020 at 11:16 am

    What a fickle crowd, blink and they turn on you !

    Like

    • December 20, 2020 at 5:04 pm

      On disappointment too many, sadly for Bert.

      Like

  26. December 20, 2020 at 4:34 pm

    A tad extreme, the followers’ reaction!
    But maybe Bert is heading to a better place, hmm?

    Like

    • December 20, 2020 at 5:10 pm

      His followers are headed for a better place anyway 🙂

      Like

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