Home > Fiction > FF – Double Win!

FF – Double Win!

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Ted Strutz.

Copyright Ted Strutz

For sale, one pre-fab house, £1000 ono complete with floor safe (broken)…

Three days earlier…

“Well, Baz? Did you get the safe?”

“It was bolted to the floor, boss.”

“Okay, so did you crack it in situ?”

“In where boss?”

“Did you open it and nick the contents?”

“Couldn’t boss. Too tough. So we brought it with us.”

“I thought you said it was bolted to the house?”

“Yeah. We brought the house too.”

“You what? Idiot!”

“What’ll we do boss?”

“Crack the safe and… stick the house on eBay. Double win! I take it all back. Nice job, Baz!”

“Thanks, boss!”

  1. May 5, 2021 at 2:30 pm

    A new meaning for the term “safehouse”. 😀

    Liked by 2 people

  2. May 5, 2021 at 2:43 pm

    It’s going to be somewhat hard to hide the house while they fence it


  3. May 5, 2021 at 3:02 pm

    Not the sharpest spoons in the box, are they?
    What do you mean you don’t cut stuff with a spoon? You do if you’re Baz.
    I liked your story, Ali!


    • May 6, 2021 at 7:17 am

      That Baz, he does his best, bless him 🙂


  4. May 5, 2021 at 3:30 pm

    Haha! Nice one, don’t fleece the house. Nick the whole thing, love it!!


    • May 6, 2021 at 7:30 am

      No point rushing when you can nick the whole thing and then go through it at your leisure later on!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. May 5, 2021 at 3:50 pm

    I’m afraid there will be too many witnesses to that crime. 😉


    • May 6, 2021 at 7:34 am

      Yes, their stash is quite hard to hide!


  6. May 5, 2021 at 4:15 pm

    Surely someone spotted the missing building. I know the police are getting a bad press at the moment, but they can’t be that bad…!? 🙂


  7. May 5, 2021 at 5:34 pm

    You had me laughing from “in situ” to the very end 🙂


  8. May 5, 2021 at 5:46 pm

    So… Wait… That house I bid on on eBay might not be legit?


    • May 6, 2021 at 7:56 am

      I couldn’t possibly comment. Though I can hear boss and Baz popping the Champagne next door…


  9. May 5, 2021 at 8:15 pm

    What a great story. Still smiling.


  10. May 5, 2021 at 8:34 pm

    Well, the Ebay ad be like “Half house, hole in floor for ventilation where safe was. Special price. Fire sale. No cops allowed.” 🙂


  11. May 6, 2021 at 2:17 am

    Funny!! This is a cautionary tale for buyers on e-bay, right?


  12. May 6, 2021 at 6:47 am

    They better hope the cops are really stupid.


  13. Lyn
    May 6, 2021 at 7:25 am

    LOL The title of the story says it all. That was an excellent take on the photo, Ali 😄


  14. May 6, 2021 at 7:54 am

    I hear their next job will be to rob Fort Knox. They better buy a bigger truck…


    • May 6, 2021 at 10:36 am

      Some form of huge helicopter fleet and winch arrangement, perhaps…


  15. May 6, 2021 at 8:05 am

    Oh dear. Who is going to buy a house with a cracked safe? I like the determination to please the boss. What was in the safe?


    • May 6, 2021 at 10:38 am

      I wouldn’t, very suspicious! We can only hope the safe’s contents were worth it.

      Liked by 1 person

  16. May 6, 2021 at 8:47 am

    Great take on the photo.


  17. May 6, 2021 at 10:25 am

    Dear Ali,

    There’s wins and then there’s Baz and his Boss. Fun stuff.




    • May 6, 2021 at 10:39 am

      Dear Rochelle,
      They’re a law(less) unto themselves 🙂


  18. May 6, 2021 at 1:14 pm

    Awesome!! 👏


  19. May 6, 2021 at 5:38 pm

    i guess they’re too smart for their own good. 🙂


  20. May 6, 2021 at 5:50 pm

    Great dialogue. I could picture the scene. I don’t suppose Baz and the Boss are too bright, but most criminals aren’t. Hilarious story, Ali!


  21. May 6, 2021 at 9:23 pm

    Too funny. I bet someone wants to buy it. Hopefully for Baz before the police see it.


    • May 7, 2021 at 12:29 pm

      I’m sure they can hide it by chucking some bushes over it 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  22. May 7, 2021 at 11:54 am

    Farcically funny, love it, Ali!

    My story!


    • May 7, 2021 at 12:34 pm

      Thanks! It could maybe be in black and white with stirring backing music!

      Liked by 1 person

  23. May 7, 2021 at 4:46 pm

    Enterprising criminals. I see new unlawful capers on the way.


    • May 8, 2021 at 4:22 am

      I’m not sure how they can top stealing a house, but I bet they’ll give it a go!


  24. May 8, 2021 at 4:35 am

    Now that is what I call creative storytelling.


  25. May 8, 2021 at 2:48 pm

    Ingenious story Ali, I enjoyed it.
    If E-bay can sells cars, sure they can sell houses !


    • May 9, 2021 at 4:46 am

      I don’t see why not. Knocked off houses 🙂


  26. May 8, 2021 at 6:09 pm

    “House for sale”…on eBay…really….MOL😸Pawkisses for a Happy Weekend🐾😽💞


  27. May 11, 2021 at 5:32 pm

    If only all criminals were so easy to catch!


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