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FF – Substandard

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Liz Young.

Copyright Liz Young

“Gears to neutral, handbrake on, engine off, and… we’ve arrived!”


“So… did I pass?”

Did you pass?


“No. No, you didn’t pass.”

“Aw, man! That’s the seventeenth time I’ve failed. What was it? Was it the roundabout? I should have waited, right? It was the roundabout, wasn’t it?”

“No. It wasn’t the roundabout.”

“The junction, then. I was a bit late with the indicators. Was it the junction?”

“No. It wasn’t the junction.”

“So what was it then?”

“The wall.”

“The wall? What wall?”

And your eyesight, apparently. This wall. Right here. Good day.”

  1. June 2, 2021 at 3:51 pm

    Well that’s one way to fail a test. I’m surprised the examiner managed to remain calm.


    • June 3, 2021 at 12:43 pm

      Years of experience being shut in a car with maniac learners, I expect!


  2. June 2, 2021 at 4:05 pm

    HAHAHA!!! That’s exactly what would have happened if I took my driving test and had to shift gears. 😀


  3. June 2, 2021 at 4:35 pm

    It’s always the obvious thing you don’t think of


    • June 3, 2021 at 12:45 pm

      Yep, He probably thought the test was over by that point.


  4. June 2, 2021 at 5:26 pm

    Lol. I’m surprised he’s so calm and yet the driver hasn’t noticed at all! 😂 Great take


    • June 3, 2021 at 12:48 pm

      He’s used to the madness. Hopefully the driver will switch to the bus!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. June 2, 2021 at 5:35 pm

    Gee, that small, little wall. That’s no reason to not let him pass. And who needs eyesight when driving? (Had me chuckle all the way).


  6. June 2, 2021 at 5:56 pm

    I saw that coming, and I’m not even in the car. Let’s hope this person never gets a license.


  7. June 2, 2021 at 6:25 pm

    Haha! That’s brilliant well done!


  8. June 2, 2021 at 6:29 pm

    What a shoddily built wall! It crumbles to pieces, yet there isn’t a scratch on the car! I say he passes…


    • June 3, 2021 at 1:01 pm

      Yeah, I noticed that as well! It was probably the air pushed in front of the car that wrecked it.


  9. June 2, 2021 at 8:07 pm

    Very considerate parking I’d say. You could get a motorbike in behind!


  10. June 3, 2021 at 12:06 am

    Why in the world did the driving assessor have John Cleese’s voice? lol, OK, maybe it was just the way I read it, but it as almost like a Monty Python skit.


  11. June 3, 2021 at 12:16 am

    i bet he’ll pass one way or another. um, like crossing over. 🙂


  12. Lyn
    June 3, 2021 at 1:22 am

    As a former driving instructor, I can fully sympathise with the examiner. In some cases it IS the roundabout. “We’re going to go straight ahead at the roundabout.”
    “What the heck do you think you’re doing????”
    “You said go straight at the roundabout.”
    “That does NOT mean go straight across the middle of it!!”


    • June 3, 2021 at 1:06 pm

      Not a job I would be able to do. Not enough patience, and too scared 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Lyn
        June 7, 2021 at 2:36 am

        LOL that’s why they offered me the job … I had an abundance of patience … still do, except when it comes to computers mucking up.

        Liked by 1 person

  13. June 3, 2021 at 3:21 pm

    Buahaha… love that it wasn’t “obvious” to him why he failed…


  14. June 4, 2021 at 8:05 am

    MOL MOL…I hope he knew that he was riding in a car…MOL😹Pawkisses for a Happy Weekend🐾😽💞


    • June 4, 2021 at 9:53 am

      He doesn’t seem to have noticed anything else 🙂


  15. June 4, 2021 at 10:41 am

    That was an easy mistake to make. I’d blame it on the wall for getting in the way!

    Here’s mine!


  16. June 4, 2021 at 11:00 am

    Dear Ali,

    This reminds me of my father trying to teach me to drive. When we finally came to a stop he got out and kissed the driveway.




    • June 4, 2021 at 12:20 pm

      Dear Rochelle,
      Ha! Not exactly the confidence booster you were perhaps hoping for 🙂


  17. June 4, 2021 at 3:10 pm

    So calm and collected, please get the guy off the road for good. Help!


    • June 5, 2021 at 4:17 am

      I’m sure plenty of people like this fluke their way through eventually…

      Liked by 1 person

  18. June 4, 2021 at 6:34 pm

    Same thing I thought when I saw this week’s pic. When I stopped laughing, I could barely get out a few words.


  19. June 4, 2021 at 9:11 pm

    Hah! Good one!


  20. June 4, 2021 at 9:15 pm

    I enjoyed your story, Ali. Very true to life. The first time I took my test, the examiner had to grab the steering wheel to stop me hitting a stationary vehicle…


  21. June 5, 2021 at 2:17 am

    When someone looks the word dense up in the dictionary, this driver’s picture should be there. Yipes! Funny!


  22. June 5, 2021 at 4:23 am

    Some people just shouldn’t drive. EVER!


  23. June 5, 2021 at 5:51 pm

    Too funny. Maybe they should have given him an eye exam first?!


    • June 6, 2021 at 5:04 am

      True. It’s the examiner’s fault!


  24. June 6, 2021 at 3:56 pm

    Now that made me laugh out loud! nice one.


  25. June 7, 2021 at 5:28 pm

    That’s a bit mean to fail him for one little wall.


    • June 8, 2021 at 4:57 am

      The examiner must have been in a bad mood. One insignificant little bump…

      Liked by 1 person

  26. June 7, 2021 at 7:51 pm

    Great story, I love the dialogue between the driver and the instructor, very funny. Maybe the man should get a bicycle …


    • June 8, 2021 at 4:58 am

      That might be marginally safer for everyone else 🙂


  27. June 13, 2021 at 4:38 pm

    I actually failed my first exam exactly the same way. Well, maybe not exactly, but you know, parking. I feel his Pain.


    • June 14, 2021 at 5:21 am

      It’s a good job I don’t need to take a test now. Slightly skew, scrape the curb, too far out…


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