draliman on life

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Lisa Fox.

There’s some allusion to recent “sleaze-related” issues in the UK government, but I’ve written “MP” and “PM” longhand to help my non-UK readers (thus going slightly over the word limit in the process).

“Mr Fortingham-Smythe, new Member of Parliament for Little Umptingham – what are your plans?”

“I’m going to shit all over the electorate.”

“What? Um, please, watch your language, sir. This is the BBC, after all!”

“Humph.”

“Not the answer I was expecting…?”

“Now that I’m safely elected, I’m planning on indolence, debauchery and a bit of general non-specific corruption. Fill my pockets, so to speak.”

“But… but…”

“And the best bit is, if I’m caught the Prime Minister will simply change the rules!”

“Um, yes, but…”

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to sit upstairs and wait for a scruffy voter to arrive.”