draliman on life

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

Are human beings required to better themselves and will doing that make them happier?
Human beings are not “required” to better themselves. It’s a choice. It wouldn’t make me happier because “bettering yourself” usually means doing stuff I don’t want to do 😦

Is it easier to love or to be loved?
It’s much easier to love. Being loved is tough. I’ve still not heard back from that Scarlett Johansson.

Outside traumatic brain injury, can memories be completely erased?
Yes. All you need is one of those big probe machines like you see on the telly. Like in Star Trek and whatnot. It doesn’t look too hard, though it’s usually aliens who have the technology so I guess we’ll have to wait until we’re invaded before we can do it.

Is there such a thing as a good death?
Of course! We must die valiantly in battle with honour in order to reach the afterlife in Sto’Vo’Kor. Qapla’!

No, wait, sorry, that’s Klingons.

What do you imagine is inside a baseball?
Baseball innards. Or a little pixy sitting on a gyroscopic chair having the time of his life.

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

Can you parallel park (if you drive)?
Yes I can and no I can’t. It’s 50/50. Once I got my car into a tiny tiny space between two cars perfectly. Another time there was a space the size of a bus and I ended up on the kerb.

I don’t do it any more basically. If I had a normal car rather than a sporty one it would parallel park and reverse park by itself. Maybe next car!

Do you prefer early morning or late evening? Or something in between?
Early morning for sure. I get up early every day – any time after 5am. I get very tired in the evenings.

Do you like avocados?
I doubt it. I can’t remember the last time I had one but I don’t really like the idea of them. The creamy-looking texture puts me off.

Is mind or matter more real?
Is there even “matter”, or are we living in our own minds? Maybe we’re in the Matrix. How would we know? (dum dum DUM)

It’s best not to contemplate such things, though. Reality is what you make of it. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter 🙂

Are people in this current generation less or more sensitive than people from past generations?
It’s the responsibility of older people like me to answer “more sensitive” to this question, noting that we shrugged stuff off which would these days involve an immediate police presence plus a couple of ambulances, a law suit and the creation of a new social pressure group with associated catchy hashtags. #oversensitive

Here is my post for Melanie’s special Squirrel Edition of Share Your World. The questions this week come from some of the critters living on Evil Squirrel’s Shelf.

When you just need to forget the world for a few hours, what helps you get away from it all? (Fuzzywig the stoner raccoon)
Having a nice nap. With no help required from Fuzzywig’s 4:20 stash.

If you woke up tomorrow with a unicorn horn extending from the top of your head, what would be the biggest advantage and disadvantage of your new appendage? (Mitzi the horny unicorn)
Stab people, I expect! That’s what unicorn horns are for. Mitzi doesn’t use hers right.

I stab all night and I stab all day
I gouge and I rip, it’s the unicorn way
Those who insult with every breath
I’ll stab and gouge the shits to death

What is the creepiest thing you’ve ever seen someone do, that you’d be willing to talk about, of course? (Snuggle the kinky pervert bear)
Sorry, Snuggle. I know what you’re up to with this question. Trying to get some ideas, huh? I’m onto your little game.

What’s the silliest or pettiest thing that tends to really upset you? (Rainy, the wickedly obsessive rain-loving skunk)
Everything! If people don’t do things my way, they’re doing things the wrong way!

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

Restrictions are being lifted all over the world. Do you feel it’s safe to go out and mingle in crowds in light of the Pandemic?
Well, depends what you mean by “safe”. It’s always less safe to mingle in crowds, there’s always something going around, even other potentially fatal viruses (like flu).

I just checked the stats – 90% of adults in the UK have had one dose of vaccine, 76% have had both. And although most restrictions have now been lifted, most people are still wearing masks inside shops etc (most shops are “strongly requesting” it), so it’s as safe as it can be I guess.

What are some things that are okay to do occasionally, but definitely not okay to do every day?
All the best things to do, obviously. Like eating chocolate and ice cream and cakes and whatnot. Burger and chips, fish and chips, pizza…

Would you relocate for love (romantic or otherwise)?
I seriously doubt it. You shift your entire life around and then you break up and you’ve got nothing.

(he said cynically…)

Do you believe in any conspiracy theories (no judgment)?
No, because if I believed in one, in my own mind it would be “fact”, not a theory. Heh heh.

Some people would laugh at some of the things I believe in. More fool them. Anyone who doesn’t believe in the Worldwide Cat Cabal is going to be very surprised when the furry little hellions finally make their move towards world domination.

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

If you could be anywhere else right now, where would it be?
In my secret volcano lair on a faraway tropical island. I couldn’t get an extinct one, all the Bond villains had snapped them up, but I’m sure it won’t erupt. At least it doesn’t need extra heating.

What Wastes The Most Time In Your Day To Day Life?
Time? Waste? Nothing I do is a waste of time. Binge-watching Supergirl on NowTV is educational.

How would you describe your greatest enemy? If you don’t have one, share your secret! 🙂
The secret to not having a greatest enemy is to do what I did. You sit in your volcano lair (hoping it won’t suddenly erupt) and organise your minions to “take care” of them.

If you were a bird, what kind of bird would you be?
A bird? A bird? I don’t want to be a bird 😮 But if I had to be a bird I’d be one of those which glides on the thermals. Because I’m pretty lazy and I can’t be having with all that constant flapping.

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

Do you believe in second chances?
In general, yes, but not for for everyone. Just imagine…

Okay, Mr Hitler, you’ve been quite naughty but everyone deserves a second chance so here’s Germany back. But if you invade Poland again, we’re going to be pretty annoyed with you.

Is your glass half full or half empty?
It starts off full, gets emptier over time and then fills up again. Such is life!

Would you rather someone be honest and hurt your feelings or lie to protect them?
Lie to me every time! Who wants to know everything everyone else thinks of them? White lies rock. There are times to lie and times to tell the truth, and the time to tell the truth is definitely not when you’re asked a question like “does my bum look big in this?”

When have you felt your biggest adrenaline rush?
That time I sneaked into an arms bazaar, located some nasty weapons, called in an air strike and then escaped in a jet plane while being shot at from all sides.

Wait a mo. That wasn’t me.

It was quite the adrenaline rush watching James Bond do all that, though.

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

Are justice and the law necessarily the same thing?
I’ve seen the excellent documentary “Judge Dredd” and I can say that they are definitely the same thing. The Judge turns up, proclaims your guilt and then blows your head off.

Which kitchen appliance do you use every day?
The kettle I reckon, whether for hot drinks or for getting a head start on potato boiling.

What is one thing you’ll never do again?
I’m perfectly capable of doing everything again, as I consistently fail to learn by my mistakes.

What event escalated very quickly?
Apart from the obvious ongoing situation, you mean? Which escalated extremely quickly and now lingers on and on and on…

Nothing else I can think of.

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

What would be much better if you could just change the colour of it?
I don’t think that changing the colour of things is going to make them better. Things are usually just the right colour.

Do You Think Cats Have Any Regrets?
Cats? Regrets? No.

Well, I’m sure they regret the fact that they’re too small to take over the world as yet. You can see it in their little eyes when they look at you. They’re thinking about all the things they’ll make you do when you’re their slave. Like constantly fetching tuna and scratching their fluffy little tummies while they’re planning their next move.

Do you ever count your steps when you walk?
No. I count lots of things but not steps.

Is there a supreme power?
I’m sure that somewhere in the universe there’s a power that’s more supreme than us.

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

Is there inherent order in nature or is it all chaos and chance?
Nature’s just stuff running around out of control all over the place. And plants? Don’t get me started on plants. I try to bring order to my little garden and the next week it’s a weed party. Chaos.

What is infinity?
Think of a number. The biggest number that can possibly ever exist in the entire universe. In fact it’s so big that if you wrote it down it would need a piece of paper as big as the entire universe.

Now add 1. Keep adding 1. No matter how big the number, you can always add another 1.

Infinity is bigger.

Does observation alter an event?
According to quantum physics, yes. From a classical viewpoint, no. From a human viewpoint people often act differently when they know they’re being observed. Tummy in, straighten back, exude an air of confidence…

Do you like balloons?
Huh? Philosophy, theoretical maths, quantum physics and suddenly a question about balloons? I’m afraid my brain has been sent into a higher gear by the first three questions and I am unable to contemplate balloons at this time 😦

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

What do you think of the idea of the ‘greater good’ principle?
I’m all for it. I’m a big fan of the Greater Good.

My overriding principle is to do everything for the Greater Good of Me. Because the Greater Good of Me is for the Greater Good of everyone, and as soon as I’m crowned High King of Earth, everyone will realise that.

I have written to world leaders and the United Nations on this matter, but am still awaiting a response.

Do you enjoy riding a roller coaster or other amusement park type ride?
Nope. In no way whatsoever. I’ll keep my feet firmly on the ground. I’ll satisfy myself with some street food below. Though that might be more dangerous than the roller coaster.

Which musical instrument is the most annoying to you personally?
The deadly triangle. A whole beautiful song, ruined at the end by a sudden “ding”. Ding ding ding DING. My dreams, plagued by flying triangles of doom, always DING DING DING. Make it stop 😦

Would you rather have a vivid imagination or a photographic memory if you had to choose just one?
The imagination. The other one is just copying other stuff you’ve seen. It’s all very well being able to reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare from memory, but so can a photocopier.