FF – Wife Unfazed

June 20, 2018 77 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Fatima Fakier Deria.

 

“Hey, get outta the way! Yes, you! Where’s that horn…”

Whaaaa wha wha whaaaa!

“What you lookin’ at? You wanna piece ‘a me? YOU WANNA PIECE ‘A ME? Thought not. Coming through! Oy, you with the vegetable boat. SHIFT IT! Full speed ahead…”

Smash crunch sink sink sink

“…screw you and your cabbages…”

Meanwhile, below-decks…

“Yes, Dorothy, on the canals… his stress levels? Not noticeably, no… it was supposed to be a de-stresser for top executives, yes… not working, no…”

“Aaaargh!” splash

“…think he’s fallen in… go back for him? No, I don’t think so… much more enjoyable now, yes…”

 

Sharing My World 2018 Week 24

June 17, 2018 17 comments

Here is my post for Cee’s Share Your World.

share-your-world2

If you could choose any person from history to be your imaginary friend, who would it be and why?
Oh boy, there have been so many people in the whole of history, how can I choose? Ooh, I know. I’ll have famous Austrian psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud. Because if I have an imaginary friend at my age I probably need help. And this will present an interesting moral dilemma for Freud – if he is successful in his treatment, he will effectively cease to exist.

What will you do, Sigmund. WHAT WILL YOU DO?

60s, 70s, 80s, 90s: Which decade do you love the most and why?
I think the 70s. Playing outside, hot summers, not a care in the world. Kids always want to grow up so they’re their own boss and can do whatever they want, little realising that you’re never more free than you are in those early years…

When you die, what do you want to be remembered for?
Die? I’m not planning on doing that. But if my immortality master plan doesn’t pan out, I’d rather not be remembered. Most people who are remembered throughout history did something pretty nasty. Sometimes it’s something good, but I’m sure history usually gets it a bit wrong and I wouldn’t be around to fix it.

Categories: About draliman Tags:

FF – SpyBird

June 13, 2018 72 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Jean L. Hays.

I’m not all that taken with my story this week, it just seems to amble along, but never mind 🙂

Copyright Jean L. Hays

 

Inside the truck, Agent Smith describes his new invention to his superiors…

“There’s SpyBird approaching the house, its cunningly situated head-mounted micro-camera transmitting everything it sees to our monitor. See how it sneaks covertly past the window.”

Inside the drug dealers’ house…

“Hey, there’s a bird flapping around outside the window with a great big camera strapped to its head. Kill it!”

And so Agent Smith’s SpyBird was consigned to the bin of espionage history alongside his equally ill-fated MurderPen, ExplosionSoap and ElectrocutionDoorbell. He later died of massive blood loss following an unfortunate incident during development of his ScissorBladeToiletSeat.

 

Pegman – The Forever Bunker

June 10, 2018 46 comments

Here is a story I wrote for What Pegman Saw, which takes us to Palo Duro State Park in Texas.

I seem to drop in and out of Pegman when the muse takes me and when I have time. Hope that’s okay.

Copyright Erik Rathgaber for Google Maps

 

Jeff checked the environmental seals, as he did every day. The same routine, every day of his life.

Ding dong!

The doorbell! This had never happened before! He ran to the hatch, donned his environmental suit and triggered the release. Outside stood a man… in normal clothes!

“How… how…?”

“Is this bunker 27? What are you all still doing down there? The Earth has been habitable for over 100 years!”

“But… I’ve looked out, every day. There’s nothing… devastation for miles, only scrub…”

“It’s the desert. It’s supposed to look like that.”

“The desert? Why was I not informed?”

“It’s all in the literature.”

“Well, maybe, but who has the time to read all that?”

“Time? Time? You’ve had nothing but time.”

“Hmm. 100 years, you say? I don’t suppose the others’ll be all that happy. Best not tell them. Good day to you.”

Slam.

100 years later…

Ding dong!

 

Sharing Your World 2018 Week 23

June 10, 2018 14 comments

Here is my post for Cee’s Share Your World.

share-your-world2

A piece of clothing from your younger childhood you still remember?
I remember one or two bits and bobs. I remember wearing such excitements as shorts and sandals to primary school. Corduroy trousers. I had a “cool” cagoule, a really thin one, which folded up into a tiny pouch and was worn around the waist. I always wore a snake belt, much like this one.

Regardless of your physical fitness, coordination or agility: if you could be an athlete what would do do? Remember this is SYW, dreaming is always allowed.
I reckon I’d be a long distance runner. It would be nice to be able to go out for long runs by myself (even in a race I’d be by myself as I’d be miles ahead of everyone else), just loping along mile after mile without having to stop every couple of hundred metres to gasp for air and throw up in the ditch.

In a car would you rather drive or be a passenger?
Generally I’d prefer to drive. I’m hardly ever a passenger – maybe once a year if my parents are driving me out somewhere. My Mum always complains that I go “too fast” when I’m driving, though. I don’t think she like the g-forces 😦

Categories: About draliman Tags:

FF – DocuDrone 4000

June 6, 2018 65 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Roger Bultot.

Copyright Roger Bultot

 

“Good, yes, good shot, zoom…”

“This drone is great. This’ll be one hell of a documentary.”

“Yep! Lower… careful, CAREFUL! Okay, that was his carotid artery. What a mess.”

“It’s really hard to control.”

“Watch out… urgh. I hope she wasn’t right-handed.”

“Why are the rotor blades so sharp?”

“Dunno. We got it cheap from military surplus.”

“Zooming in for a headshot. Wonder what this button does?”

 Rat-a-tat-a-tat splatter.

“Oh, hell. Headshot is right.”

“What’s the name of this documentary, anyway?”

“Originally, Faces of Art. Now… Murder at the Museum? Bohemian Bloodbath? Thirty to Life, No Parole? Take your pick.”

 

Sharing My World 2018 Week 22

June 3, 2018 37 comments

Here is my post for Cee’s Share Your World.

share-your-world2

If you were to pack a basket for a picnic lunch, what would be in your basket?
Just the simple things, I’m a man of simple tastes.

Quail eggs, caviar on crackers, smoked salmon with lemon on freshly-cooked bread. I’ll leave it to the servants to sort out the crockery and silverware. I’m sure they won’t mind carrying the folding table across hill and dale. That sort of thing.

Nothing too fancy.

On a vacation what you would require in any place that you sleep?
Just the simple things, I’m a man of simple tastes.

Four-poster bed with curtains. Whirlpool bathing tub. Gift baskets containing hand-crafted chocolate, delivered daily. Twenty four hour silver service. Exclusive access to the penthouse lift. That sort of thing.

Nothing too fancy.

If you were to buy a new house/apartment what are the top three items on your wish list?
Just the simple things, I’m a man of simple tastes.

Hilltop setting with infinity pool. Separate luxury accommodations for the servants – got to keep them happy! Massive garage filled with classic cars, monitored 24/7 from the on-site security office. That sort of thing.

Nothing too fancy.

Categories: About draliman Tags: