Sharing My World 10-05-2021

May 16, 2021 15 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

What do you believe but cannot prove?
I believe animals have morals, but I just can’t prove it 😮

Do animals have morals?
Goodness, what a complete coincidence, looking at the previous question! I believe that they do, but proof? No.

Is there inherent order in nature or is it all chaos and chance?
There’s order all over nature. Fractals are everywhere! But there’s loads of chaos and chance too, especially when humans are involved.

Where is your least favourite place in the world?
It’s more situations rather than places that come under the title “least favourite”. Like crowds and whatnot. Anywhere’s fine as long as the circumstances are good.

Categories: About draliman Tags:

FF – A Job Well Done

May 12, 2021 59 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Roger Bultot.

Copyright Roger Bultot

The smells of street cooking filled his nostrils. His mouth watered.

But he wasn’t there to eat. He had a job to do.

He slipped through the crowd, unnoticed, a ghost. Target in sight.

Sliding close, he slipped his hand into his pocket. So quickly that none noticed, he had written the ticket and slapped it on the bike.

Bike chained to railings, in contravention of city bylaw 1254 section 2 paragraph 4? Not on his watch.

The angry owner arrived.

“Sorry, mate, nuffin’ I can do, the ticket’s wrote now innit, guv’nor, more’n my job’s werf.”

Another job well done.

Sharing My World 03-05-2021

May 9, 2021 19 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

Would you rather be a super nice person and be depressed all your life, or be happy and a total asshole?
Aw man, can’t I be both? Another really tricky choice. I demand the right to be depressed and a total asshole.

Have you ever made someone cry?
I don’t know. Possibly. That kid didn’t look too happy the other day when I stole his lollipop, but I legged it so I’m not sure of the aftermath.

Are you a dreamer or a go-getter?
I’m a dreamer. Like, I’m always dreaming of this fantastic meal I’m going to cook for tea, but come teatime I can’t be bothered and make a cheese sandwich instead.

If you were in a band, what instrument would you play?
I’d play the drums. It would be a useful outlet for my constant desire to hit stuff.

Categories: About draliman Tags:

FF – Double Win!

May 5, 2021 56 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Ted Strutz.

Copyright Ted Strutz

For sale, one pre-fab house, £1000 ono complete with floor safe (broken)…

Three days earlier…

“Well, Baz? Did you get the safe?”

“It was bolted to the floor, boss.”

“Okay, so did you crack it in situ?”

“In where boss?”

“Did you open it and nick the contents?”

“Couldn’t boss. Too tough. So we brought it with us.”

“I thought you said it was bolted to the house?”

“Yeah. We brought the house too.”

“You what? Idiot!”

“What’ll we do boss?”

“Crack the safe and… stick the house on eBay. Double win! I take it all back. Nice job, Baz!”

“Thanks, boss!”

Sharing My World 26-04-2021

May 2, 2021 20 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share You World.

Which would you rather throw away: Love or Money?
Well, love costs money, which I wouldn’t have since I’ve apparently thrown my money away to gain love.

Do you believe you should do one thing a day that scares you?
No! What would I try to scare myself on a daily basis? The calm, quiet life for me, thank you so very much indeedy.

What’s the last thing you do at night?
I always read my book before going to sleep, no matter what time it is.

If you could own a mythical creature (unicorn, phoenix, etc.), which one would you pick?
I’d quite like a dryad. She could look after the garden and make it all lovely. I wouldn’t “own” her though as she’s a sentient being. We’d probably end up getting married, I expect 🙂

Categories: About draliman Tags:

FF – Death on the Muddy Nile

April 28, 2021 59 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. Today’s photo was contributed by Dale Rogerson.

Copyright Dale Rogerson

“Ah, this is the life, eh, dear?”

Ten minutes of light drizzle and we’re knee-deep in scummy water.

“Basking in the lovely weather…”

Lovely weather?

“… gazing out over the lake. The locals call it ‘The Nile’ hah!”

Huge muddy puddle.

“I think I’ll go for a swim!”

Maybe a swamp creature will rise up and eat him.

“Help, my darling, my foot is caught in a shopping trolley! Help!”

I must have left my hearing aid indoors.

GLUG GLUG…

I better leave it a few minutes before I phone the ambulance, make sure he’s properly dead.

Bliss!

FF – Sharing MY World 19-04-2021

April 25, 2021 20 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

What was the last TV show you binge-watched? If you don’t watch TV (congratulations by the way) what’s the last thing you binged ON?
I don’t generally binge-watch anything. The definition is “the practice of watching multiple episodes of a television programme in rapid succession”. I never watch more than two episodes at a time and then rarely.

The closest I’ve come recently is “A Discovery of Witches”. I discovered the second series was only available for a week longer so I had to watch it at speed 😮

What’s your most prized possession and why?
Ha, that’s easy, it’s my… ahem. No, I can’t put that.

I don’t have a “prized possession” and never have. Most useful, most fun etc, but not most “prized”. That implies something very special/personal.

If you had the time and inclination, what would you volunteer for?
Never volunteer for anything, that’s my motto. Wait until you’re manipulated into it, then you can be all passive-aggressive and act like a martyr.

Do you think that humans will ever be able to live together in harmony?
Yes, for sure. We just need to be invaded by aliens. Then we’ll all come together as one species against them.

“Harmony through shared hatred”. Write that one down, people. It’s how the world works.

Categories: About draliman Tags:

FF – What Could it Be?

April 21, 2021 59 comments

Here is my story (not really a story) for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by David Stewart.

Copyright David Stewart

What could it be?
An alien landscape, strewn about with energy pods, throbbing with power.

What could it be?
Alien eggs, ready to hatch, stereotypically blue for males and pink for females.

What could it be?
A triumph of modern art, the culmination of a life’s work made real in stark neon colours.

What could it be?
Futuristic travel pods, each containing a single life form.

What could it be?
Stomp stomp stomp KICK!
One of the ovoids sails though the air, flying straight through the centre of the distant circle. Cheers abound.

What could it be?
One-nil, apparently.

Sharing My World 12-04-2021

April 18, 2021 16 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

What would be the worst “buy one get one free” sale of all time?
Tell you what, I’m going to be lazy. Here’s what I wrote on the subject in 2019…

How can getting something for free ever be a bad thing? I’m all for free stuff. In fact, even if you don’t want one of something, if it’s BOGOF buy it anyway. Fill your house with useless and unwanted tat.

True then, true now!

Have you ever gotten a really bad haircut? Do share!
Not really. Unless you count the exciting side-parting cuts I had to have as a kid. Or the ones I did myself over the past year…

Isn’t Disney Land and Disney World (and all the variants) just a people trap operated by a mouse?
Definitely, according to South Park.

Lots of people enjoy going to these place, but they look too busy for me.

What if Batman got bitten by a vampire? What would happen?
He’d be able to turn into an actual bat. Very cool. Then he would be Manbat. Or Batman Bat. I’m sure “The Big Bang Theory” has covered this…

What do you want your final words to be if you could choose?
“Bugger”.

Categories: About draliman Tags:

FF – Resources

April 14, 2021 61 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Anne Higa.

Copyright Anne Higa

Maddens shone his multi-phasic light across the alleyway. There – tripolycarbo-urethic fuel, leaking from an overflow. Someone had been careless.

Nasty stuff, usually invisible, cuts straight through flesh.

He turned to the proprietor.

“You! Thank the System your negligence dismembered/killed 17 passers-by or we would never have found this! You are arrested, tried and convicted of resource waste (Resources Act 2057). The sentence is death.”

Bang!

As always post-execution, a queue was forming. He turned to the first.

“Yes, madam?”

“A nice bit of thigh and a kidney, please.”

Police Officer Butcher-Judge Mike Maddens grabbed his cleaver.

Waste not, want not.