FF – Charred Yet United

May 31, 2017 55 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was provided by Karuna.

We have an election coming up in the UK next week, and I urge you guys to give this bunch a chance!

To read the other stories, click on the blue froggy.

Copyright Karuna

 

“My fur, my lovely fur, gone, gone…”

“This will not do!”

“Maybe it was an accident, Furry?”

“So little Tommy accidentally siphoned petrol out of his dad’s car, inadvertently doused us with it and then carelessly dropped a match on us? No, Cuddly.”

“What about me? My head’s all twisted backwards!”

“Indeed, Dolly. Shocking! We must take action.”

“Yeah!” broke in Cuddly. “Maim, kill, destroy!”

“No, we stand for government. We have one direction, united!”

Vote for justice for our cuddly friends. Vote Stuffed Toys – One Direction!

“Isn’t that a pop group?”

“Hush, Dolly.”

“Doesn’t that shorten to ‘STOneD’?”

Hush, Dolly.”

 

Sharing My World 2017 Week 22

May 28, 2017 29 comments

Here is my post for Cee’s Share Your World series.

share-your-world2

What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? 
Can anyone guess? That’s right. Go to Middle Zealand to see the Hobbits. There’s lots to see there too, with the two main islands and whatnot. I’d just need to be sure not to wander too close to Mordor while I’m there. It’s a 25 hour flight, thought, ‘cos it’s like a hundred thousand miles away or something.

How often do you get a haircut?
I get my hair cut every 4 weeks. Otherwise it kind of “fluffs out” from my head. It also tickles my ears 🙂

In regards to puzzle what’s your choice: jigsaw, crossword, word search or numeric puzzles?
Jigsaw, I think, followed by word search. I can’t do crosswords because I don’t know anything, and numeric puzzles make me feel ill 😦

How many cities have you lived in? You can share the number of physical residences and/or the number of cities.
If we’re talking actual “cities”, three I think. There is a handy list of cities I can refer to in the UK, fortunately, ranging from the biggies like Birmingham down to the tiniest like London. Towns are “promoted” to cities via royal charter. I don’t know what makes a city a city in the other countries I’ve lived in.

Guildford (Surrey) is a town. I’ll call Cobh (Ireland) a town as well. Welwyn Garden City (Hertfordshire) is actually a town, though it seems to be masquerading as a city. Nice try, Welwyn Garden City. Redruth (Cornwall) is a town.

Truro (Cornwall) is a city and so is Cork (Ireland) probably. I’ll call Stuttgart (Germany) a city.

Liss (Hampshire) is a village I suppose, as are Grampound Road and Carnon Downs (both Cornwall).

So that’s three cities, four towns and three villages. I think that’s all of them 🙂

Categories: About draliman Tags:

FF – Curse of the Housesitter

May 24, 2017 78 comments

Here is my little story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by J Hardy Carroll.

After struggling the last few weeks, I had this story written within 15 minutes of seeing the photo. Doesn’t mean it’s any good, though 🙂

To read this week’s other stories, click on the blue froggy.

Copyright J Hardy Carroll

 

“Aagh! My flat! What’ve you done to my lovely home?”

“I’ve converted it.”

“Into what? A war zone? I was only away three days…”

“It’s for my art. It’s ‘Trash Chic’.”

“That isn’t a thing.”

“But it will be! Please, take a seat…”

“Aargh!”

“… not there, and take in your surroundings…”

“My ass, my ass, something stabbed me in the ass!”

“I call that piece ‘needle couch’.”

“My couch, my beautiful couch… what have you done to the bathroom?”

“Ah yes, ‘Druggie’s Toilet’. A masterpiece.”

“Oh yeah?”

Heave. Smash. Aaaargh! Thump.

“Well, I call this piece ‘Murder Window, Splattered Pavement’.”

 

Sharing My World 2017 Week 21

May 21, 2017 36 comments

Here is my post for Cee’s Share Your World series.

share-your-world2

How many languages do you you speak?
Mink bimble flibble hatstand meep meep. Snurgle McPhee mehaaaaaa.

None, evidently.

What are you reading, watching, listening to, eating?
I’m reading one of my standard urban Gothic-style books. You know the sort of thing – feisty heroine, has some sort of “banned” magic, living in secret, demons attack blah blah blah. Also “The Invisible Man” by HG Wells for my book group.

I’m watching Grimm series 5 (I think), Once Upon a Time series 6 (?) and Colony series 1 (all on Netflix). I have a few things lined up including iZombie series 3 (?). Looking forward to that! While writing this I’m watching Casualty from last night.

I’m listening to a lot of Gin Wigmore, The Pretty Reckless, Evanescence and Dragonette at the moment.

I’m eating all sorts of stuff. Mostly with hot sauce.

What was the last photo you took with your phone?
This one. I took it yesterday for my Instagram to illustrate the beauty of Spring time.

What is your favourite time of day?
Right at the beginning 🙂

Categories: About draliman Tags:

FF – Simple Food for Complicated People

May 17, 2017 86 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo is from Roger Bultot.

When I saw this cafe scene I couldn’t get the last one out of my head (from Christmas) – “A Pie They Died For” – in which I murdered a whole bunch of people and ate them. That picture was by Roger as well. I wonder if this is the inside of the same cafe?

Well, I couldn’t do that again so I did something different. To read this week’s other stories, click on the blue froggy.

Copyright Roger Bultot

 

“Welcome to Just Burgers, how may I help you?”

“Hmm, I’d like cucumber with soft cheese on black bread with a side of avocado, please.”

“What is it about ‘Just Burgers’ you don’t understand?”

“Well, really!

“You know how in films there’s a bloke in the kitchen with a meat cleaver for difficult customers?”

“Yeees…”

“Well, we don’t have one of those. Or cucumbers. Only dead cows in buns. Get out. Next!”

“Hi, phew, some people, eh?”

“For sure. What can I get you?”

“I’d like goat’s cheese on rye with iceberg lettuce and a side of sashimi, please.”

“Aaargh!”

 

Categories: Fiction Tags:

Sharing My World 2017 Week 19

May 14, 2017 33 comments

Here is my post for Cee’s Share Your World.

share-your-world2

When you’re alone at home, do you wear shoes, socks, slippers, or go barefoot?
I have a battered old pair of slippers. When you vacuum as “often” as I do, barefoot is not to be recommended heh heh.

What was your favourite food when you were a child?
Yeek, that’s a long time ago to remember. I really liked a chocolate bar called “Yorkie”. Does that count as a food?

Are you a listener or talker?
I listen a lot. I can also talk a fair amount once I’m comfortable with people. With new people I keep my mouth shut until I’ve listened a lot and have sussed out what sort of people they are, their sense of humour, topics to avoid and so on.

Favourite thing to (pick one):  Photograph?  Write? Or Cook?
Do I pick one topic or do I pick one thing from each topic?

Photograph: views of nice places.

Write: flash fiction, preferably with dark/quirky humour.

Cook: I’m more a fan of eating the cooking rather than the cooking itself 🙂

Categories: About draliman Tags:

FF – The Bigger Sin

May 10, 2017 75 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo comes from Rochelle as well. I hope it wasn’t her car 😦

(Just in case non-Brits are not aware, a shopping “trolley” is called a “cart” in the US.)

Click on the blue froggy for this week’s other stories.

 

“I’m waiting, Son.”

“Well, Dad, I went grocery shopping, see, and someone crashed into it with their trolley.”

“So, someone rammed their trolley into the car at… what? 50, 60 miles per hour?”

“That’s about the size of it, Dad.”

“The Hulk, was it? And this isn’t you on the camera sneaking out at 11pm?”

“Hmm, looks like me but isn’t. Weird.”

“Son…?”

“Okay, I snuck out on a date with Suzy and had a ding.”

“Cheerleader Suzy? Straight-A-student Suzy? Hot Suzy?”

“Yep!”

“Woo, nice one, Son! High five!”

High five slap.

“But you’re grounded for lying. ‘Til you’re 50.”