Sharing My World 22-04-2019

April 28, 2019 25 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

Was the last thing you read digital or print?
I’m currently reading digital on my Kindle – the entire Raven Saga by James Barclay. The last thing I read was in print. I don’t generally buy stuff in print any more as I don’t have room for the books. The Kindle is handier too, and if I find myself somewhere with a few minutes to spare I can pick it up on my phone and keep reading.

Are you more an extrovert or introvert?
I’m an introvert. I don’t like being around too many people.

How is your life different from what you imagined as a younger person?
How is it not? Am I a famous person living on a private island, driving a Ferrari and beloved by the masses? No. No, I’m not.

Do you think about dying? Does death scare you? Why or why not?
Sometimes. And sometimes it scares me, sometimes it doesn’t.

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FF – The Crabs of Crab Bay

April 24, 2019 71 comments

Here is my silly story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Sandra Crook.

Copyright Sandra Crook

 

The Crabs of Crab Bay saw, at last, their target. Holidaymakers, setting up for a day’s sunbathing.

“Attack, my comrades! Today we taste blood!”

Pouring onto the sand, they charged, pincers snapping.

“Look, Dad, crabs!”

“Mmm, crab meat. Grab the cricket bat!”

The Crabs of Crab Bay milled in terror as the two-legs approached. Field Marshal Crab took charge and, wheeling sharply, with full military discipline, the Crabs of Crab Bay fled the scene strategically withdrew.

 

Seven Crabs lost their lives that day.

Avenge your fellows! Join up today! Pincer sharpeners provided!

 

The Crab Bay Defence Force – because Crabs matter

 

Sharing My World 15-04-2019

April 21, 2019 23 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

Guns? Are you pro or con? Explain your point of view.
Largely con, though I live in a country where even the regular police don’t carry guns and gun possession is largely illegal. As a result, there is very little gun crime, so that’s a good thing! People just stab each other instead. Of course, it’s difficult to slaughter a whole room of people in five seconds using only a kitchen knife.

How would your country change if everyone, regardless of age, could vote?
I’d be a member of parliament! While the adult vote would be split between the main parties, I would get 100% of the kiddie vote by offering tax breaks on sweets and chocolate and a ban on homework.

Of course, in order to get a tax break they’d have to pay tax on their pocket money, but they’re too young to understand that and then it’ll be too late – see, I’m thinking like a politician already!

What’s your cure for hiccups?
A complete throat and stomach transplant. It’s the only way to be sure.

What’s the coldest you’ve ever been?
I’m always cold. At work, it’s my “thing”. To pick out an especially cold incident would be impossible, I’m afraid.

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FF – Every Cloud

April 17, 2019 73 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Dale Rogerson.

The (completely anonymous) character “Dail” makes a guest appearance!

https://fresh.inlinkz.com/js/widget/load.js?id=76159bd4ca438d83f080

Copyright Dale Rogerson

 

Dail shivered and tucked herself deeper into her winter coat. A winter coat, in mid-summer!

The dust cloud, born of an unfortunate nuclear-related mishap, had seen the Earth freeze. At least Canadians are used to the cold, she thought. Many survivors were not so lucky.

Millions in Britain had frozen to death within minutes thanks to their “stiff upper lip, keep on keeping on” attitude, resulting in the general consensus that “it’s mid-summer so I’m wearing a t-shirt”.

Children, ever-resilient, built snowmen.

With survival a priority, the world forgot about Brexit. And golf-playing presidents.

So, every cloud, and all that…

 

Sharing My World 08-04-2019

April 14, 2019 38 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

What does a successful relationship look like to you?
It’s very difficult to tell. Maybe people who do lots of things together, as a team. Some people who look all peaches and cream on the outside can be all grrr behind closed doors.

If you could turn any activity into an Olympic sport, what would you have a good chance at winning a medal for?
Advanced Afternoon Napping. I’m pretty good at that.

What do you wish you knew more about?
The life-cycle of the tsetse fly. No, quantum string theory, that’s it. No, wait, the life and times of Sun Tzu. I wish I knew more about what I wish to know more about.

What is better in your opinion – asking for forgiveness or permission?
That depends very much on the consequences of not asking for permission…

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FF – The Hungry Dead

April 10, 2019 66 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Roger Bultot.

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Copyright Roger Bultot

 

“Huh, it doesn’t look as scary as the photo in the advert.”

“That photo was digitally altered. This place looks rather pleasant. Dammit!”

“‘Haunted house’, indeed. Let’s go.”

Cecil Montague, dead these 300 years, watched from the tower, hunger blazing from his rotting eyes. After all these centuries, dinner approached… anticipation becoming despair as they left. So close – he could almost taste their flesh! He’d spent years learning how use a ‘computer’ to ‘Photoshop’ a ‘photograph’ to snare tasty ghosthunters. What a waste.

Time to change tack… now, where were those instructions on how to list a property on Airbnb…?

 

Sharing My World 01-04-2019

April 7, 2019 24 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World. This is a collection of fun questions in honour of April Fool’s Day! There are quite a lot so I’ll answer a selection.

Why is it called “beauty sleep” when one wakes up looking like a troll?
Ha, speak for yourself. I’m always bootiful 😉

Why do they sterilise needles for lethal injections?
If you’re gonna do a job, do it right…

Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can’t go that fast on any road?
Two reasons I reckon. In case you take it on the track – so mine would need to go up to over 140mph anyway. And if the speedo only went up to 70mph (the max in the UK), how could you tell you were speeding? You could be going 90 and it would still be reading 70 🙂

What are some things that are okay to do occasionally but definitely not okay to do every day?
Stay in with loads of chips and dips and chocolate and watch telly all day.

In your opinion, what’s the best type of cheese?
All of it.

You are about to get in a fight, what song comes on your mind soundtrack?
I know it’s completely obvious, but the moment I read the question I heard “Eye of the Tiger” in my mind.

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