Sharing My World 21-10-2018

October 21, 2018 26 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

What’s the biggest screw up in the kitchen that you were responsible for?
Screw up? In the kitchen? I’ll have you know I’m a master of chefs, a culinary genius. Just look at this little creation, worthy of the most expensive of 5 star establishments.

Pasta with sauce made of tinned tomato, garlic, herbs and little sliced up hot dog sausages. Oh yeah 🙂

In my new chain of restaurants, “DraliGrub”, this will be my signature dish only it’ll be one-tenth the size and will cost £95.50.

What, in your opinion, makes people believe absurd conspiracy theories?
They’re being influenced by the shady and mysterious “Council of Five” who run the world from their secret volcano hideout – it’s in their best interests to keep people on edge.

And our secret alien overlords who silently invaded in the 60’s and now run our planet (in conjunction with the Council of Five) – it’s them too.

It’s all true, because the internet says so.

In 40 years what will people be nostalgic for?
Just one thing – freedom. For our alien overlords will be secret no more.

People won’t be nostalgic for anything else, as all record and memory of other things will have been erased.

Is a hot dog a sandwich?
No. You can slice up a sausage and put it between two slices of bread. Then you have a sausage sandwich.

What wonderful thing happened to you this week that you’d like to share? It can be a gratitude moment or something that just made you feel very happy at the time or made you laugh.
After many delays my new car finally arrived! They’ve finally updated the interior of the Fiesta so now it’s more like a modern car 🙂

Categories: About draliman Tags:

FF – The Chimps of Bristol

October 17, 2018 62 comments

Here is my rather rushed story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Jilly Funell.

I had to chop about a bazillion words out of this 😦

Copyright Jilly Funell

 

It is said that British rule in Gibraltar will fall if ever the monkeys leave, however…

When the structure appeared (overnight, just outside Bristol), there was much speculation. Finally, the world’s greatest minds proclaimed it a Monolith (after a beer-fuelled viewing of “2001 A Space Odyssey”) and, remembering the film, imported chimpanzees to see what might happen.

These enthusiastic chimps proceeded to use it as a climbing frame and flourished – fortunately for Mankind, for their antics disrupted the attack signal emanating space-wards from this giant antenna.

… in reality, Mankind’s rule over Earth will fall if ever the chimps leave Bristol.

 

Sharing My World 14-10-2018

October 14, 2018 20 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

Do you prefer Apple (‘i’ products) or Android for your technology ‘fix’? 
I prefer Android. There’s a better range of prices and choices and they tend to be much more compatible with everything else. Once you’re in the Apple ecosystem, you’re pretty much stuck there.

What’s something on your personal bucket list?
I absolutely have my heart set on the galvanised steel titanium-reinforced Buck-omatic 2000TM. Truly the king of buckets.

Oh wait, I get it now. I’m hoping in the next couple of years to go back to Scotland where my Gran lived and see all the old haunts again.

What would you name your boat if you had one? The Unsinkable 3? The Please Don’t Sink? Your choice! Also, what would it look like? Do you want a motor yacht, a sailboat, or perhaps a dinghy?
“The Unaffordable”. It would be a nice little size with a cosy little cabin.

Which fictional character would be the most boring to meet in real life? 
That chap. With that name. From that programme. I can’t remember any details. That’s how boring he is.

Categories: About draliman Tags:

Flower of the Day

October 12, 2018 20 comments

I thought I’d contribute to the very popular Flower of the Day. I do hope I haven’t misunderstood…

 

 

Isn’t it beautiful? Next week – self-raising!

 

Categories: Just Silly

FF – All Becomes Clear

October 11, 2018 71 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. She also provided the photo this week.

 

Intimate residence in secluded location. Set at a novel angle with authentic Medieval windows, this period property features original heating and plumbing. With fully ventilated bathroom facilities and a unique open plan design, this period property must be seen to be believed!

 

[Due to recent clarity laws we are legally bound to translate, see below]

Tiny, middle of nowhere. Foundations collapsing, glass-less slits for windows, this old dump has a fire pit for heat and no plumbing whatsoever. Bathe in the river and crap behind a tree, one single largely useless room, it’s unbelievable we’re trying to sell this disaster!

 

Sharing My World 07-10-2018

October 7, 2018 26 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

What’s your go-to for unwinding after a stressful event or day? Can be someone or something – music, pets, family or whatever you choose.
A DVD or something on Netflix – nothing too cerebral and probably one of the series I’ve watched many times before which I keep rotating. Also, something violent on the PS4 like Fallout 4 or Assassin’s Creed. There’s nothing quite like shooting a bunch of Raiders with an automatic weapon when you’re feeling stressed.

The plane you’re flying in is going to crash, no survivors. If you had one song you could listen to before it happens, what would it be? (credit to NewEpicAuthor for this one). Please share the link to the song if you can.
I guess “It’s the End of the World” by REM would be quite apt. So in my last seconds of life, frantically Googling for my song, I’m going to see this. Thanks a lot, YouTube.

What is one thing you’re really, really good at and not ashamed to admit it? I worded that deliberately because aren’t we taught to be humble and not pushy about our achievements? Celebrate your ability!
I’m really really good at… avoiding the question.

Would you rather lose all of your money and valuables or all of the pictures you have ever taken?
Lose the pictures, lose the pictures! No, wait, that makes me sound like a greedy monster. Lose the money, lose the money!

No. If I lost all my money and valuables I’d be homeless with only a bunch of photographs to my name. Which I’d have to burn to stay warm. So now I’ve got nothing. So I’d lose the photos.

Categories: About draliman Tags:

FF – Mr Clumsy and the Second Apocalypse

October 3, 2018 71 comments

Here is my little story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Sandra Crook.

My story this week once again includes “sound effects” (some imagination required)!

Copyright Sandra Crook

 

It’s Andy “Accident-Prone” Andrews’ first day at the Museum of Pre-Apocalypse Earth…

“Oops, I’m sure that wasn’t valuable… moving on, here we see the last surviving example of a ‘wooden’ table. One sec, someone’s left a bunch of crap on it…”

Sweep, crash, tinkle

“That’s better. This so-called ‘wood’ was very solid…”

Knock knock

“… and as I demonstrate with this flame thrower, completely resistant to…”

Whoomp!

“…oops, um, all part of the show, folks, um, over here we see the last surviving ‘atomic bomb’. As you can see if I hit it with this sledgehammer, it’s completely resistant to…”

WHOOOOOOOOMP!