Sharing My World 24-02-2019

February 24, 2019 24 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

If you didn’t have to sleep, what would you do with the extra time?
Not have to sleep? But sleeping’s one of my favourite things. If I didn’t have to sleep I’d spend the extra time researching a cure for fellow sufferers of “sleep immunity syndrome”.

What job would you be terrible at?
Nearly everything! Especially stuff where I’d have to deal with people. Or any sort of manual labour as I’m not really string enough to lift stuff around.

When was the last time you climbed a tree?
Too long ago to remember. I have a vague memory that I might have climbed a tree once.

Do you count your steps?
No. The totals wouldn’t make for very good reading, to be honest. I would say “I need to get more exercise” but that would imply I already get some…

What’s the dumbest way you’ve injured yourself?
Many years ago after watching The Pogues in concert near Stuttgart, I exited the building (quite drunk) and stepped off the edge of the steps. I fell straight forwards onto my face – no attempt at all to save myself (and therefore no broken wrists). My glasses got a bit bent and I got a scrape on my face, but it was more embarrassing than anything 🙂

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FF – The Glass World

February 20, 2019 84 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. She also contributed the photo this week.

I was worried this week as I’m out at the cinema later and will have no time to think of a story, but I had an idea the instant I saw the photo and the story was finished ten minutes later. I love it when a plan comes together 🙂

 

He looked sadly, resigned, at the flowers. Once so vibrant, they had taken on a different kind of beauty. Harsh, rigid, eternal.

Already he could feel the bioweapon coursing through his veins. His legs hung heavy from the edge of the chair, opalescent, a multi-coloured perfection no glass-blower could hope to replicate.

His mistake, of course, had been to add the pathogen to the water supply, free to infect every living thing, a misguided protest at the folly of Man now become Mankind’s end.

On reflection, testing the antidote before releasing the virus would have been a good idea, too.

 

Sharing My World 17-02-2019

February 17, 2019 18 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

What’s your favourite way to spend a weekend?
Relaxing, a bit of reading, some PS4 and Netflix 🙂

Who do you admire most in the world?
Who? No-one in particular. Lots of people have great qualities. We could distil all those and create some sort of super-amazing person. But I think it’s better that everyone has something admirable about them. Share the love!

What do you regret not doing?
I regret not doing pretty much everything I didn’t do. Similarly I regret doing a load of stuff I did do. So we’re even.

If you see a puddle on the ground, do you walk around it or over/in it?
Since I don’t typically walk around the place in 100% waterproof shoes I generally try not to submerge my feet in muddy water.

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FF – Hors d’oeuvres

February 13, 2019 69 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by J Hardy Carroll.

I had no time today to even think of a story and was beginning to panic, but fortunately this occurred to me on the way home, thinking of that strange thing at the upstairs window…

Copyright J Hardy Carroll

 

“A beautiful location, miles from anywhere.”

“It is beautiful!”

“Notice the brickwork, the original windows…”

“Oh my, yes! And what’s that up there, it looks like OH MY GOD IT’S A SEVERED HEAD!”

“No, no, of course it’s not…”

“SEVERED HEAD! SEVERED HEAD!”

“I’m sure it’s just left over from Halloween.”

“SEVERED… do you really think so?”

“Realistic but clearly fake.”

“Oh, I feel so silly!”

“Nonsense, not at all. Listen, the owners are friends of mine. I’m sure they’d love to… have you for dinner.”

“Oh, lovely! Will there be hors d’oeuvre?”

“Lady, you are the… um, yes.”

“Lovely!”

 

Sharing My World 10-02-2019

February 10, 2019 30 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World. There’s a special Valentine’s banner this week!

What’s wrong but sounds right?
A massive bar of chocolate, to be eaten in one sitting.

Wait, what am I saying. How can chocolate ever be wrong? 🙂

What physical action or gesture do you find romantic?
I really like it when CENSORED

Pretty spicy stuff, eh?

What’s something you really resent paying for?
Thieves and fraudsters. We all pay a small premium on our weekly shop to compensate supermarkets for loss through shoplifting. We all pay a not so small premium on insurance to subsidise fraudulent payouts. We all pay extra for music and films to cover money lost through illegal downloads. Grr!

What’s your favourite romance movie? A movie you may find romantic, even if that’s not the genre.
Hmm. Most films I watch lead to two people getting together after a couple of hours of slaughter. So leaving them alone, I’ll go for a choice of two – “Pretty Woman” and “There’s Something About Mary”.

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FF – Out of the Fire

February 6, 2019 82 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Anshu Bhojnagarwala.

 

“We call in humility.”

“And the Dark Lord shall answer!”

“We ask for his presence.”

“And the Dark Lord shall come!”

“To step out of the flames.”

“And the Dark Lord shall appear!”

“Arise! Arise! Arise!”

Phaaa-boooom!

“I AM COME!”

“Oh, Lord of Darkness, hear these pleas of your humble slaves…”

“YES, MORTALS, I AM HERE TO DESTROY AND MAIM AND…”

Michael? What are you and your friends doing down there?

“Arse, it’s my Mum.”

If you’ve lit another fire, so help me I’ll tan your hides…

“RIGHT, I’M OFF. I DON’T DO MUMS, MUMS ARE SCARY.”

Phaaa-boooom!

“Bugger.”

 

Sharing My World 03-02-2019

February 3, 2019 17 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

Are you thin or thick skinned? Are you easily offended or tend to let it just roll off your back like a duck does with water?
I’m so thick-skinned, you wouldn’t believe it. Nothing, and I mean nothing, touches me. Except for upsetting things. And sad things. And people aren’t very nice to me 😦 And people who are nasty to each other. And whatnot. Maybe “thin skinned” would be a better description of me.

How important are morals in a healthy society? What are the most important morals for citizens to have?
You have to have mortals in a healthy society. If everybody were immortal, we’d run out of room.

Oh, moral. Yeah, like, well important. Otherwise we’d be a society of sociopaths. In the immortal words of Bill and Ted – “Be excellent to each other”.

What will your epitaph be?
“Here lies wossname. He sat in the corner. I think he was in IT or something. Rest in peace and stuff.”

French toast, pancakes or waffles?
Doughnuts. What, that’s not an option? This question is flawed.

I haven’t had French toast for decades. I’m assuming “waffles” is that American thing you see on the TV, so I have no idea what they are (we have Birds Eye potato waffles). So I’ll go with doughnuts Scotch pancakes with butter and jam or Cornish Clotted Cream and jam.

Please note, before you think how disgusting that sounds, Scotch pancakes are very different to the pancakes you have on Shrove Tuesday.

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