FF – League of Science

December 27, 2017 69 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Ted Strutz.

Copyright Ted Strutz

 

The group of esteemed scientists laughed scornfully.

“By God, man, you’ll never achieve membership of the World Science League with that thing!”

“I beg to differ, Sir,” smiled Ignacious, initiating his machine. Gears ground. Wheels spun.

“By good Queen Victoria, what is it man?!”

Their derision, however, gave way to wide eyes as the wheels rotated, matching their brain waves. A disc flew off, neatly decapitating Dr Munsch of Oxford. The others, hypnotised, hardly noticed even as they too fell.

“I propose myself for membership of the League!” giggled Ignacious manically. “Any objections?” He eyed the carnage. “No? Then, carried!”

 

Pegman – Merry Star Wars Christmas

December 24, 2017 46 comments

Here is my story for What Pegman Saw, which this week takes us to North Pole, Alaska.

Hopefully you guys have either seen Star Wars or are familiar with the story, or this story’s going to be reasonably nonsensical.

I have just cooked a nice ham so the kitchen smells all hammy and I have been indulging in my Christmas Eve tradition – wrapping presents while watching the greatest Christmas film ever made – Die Hard. I’m just at the bit where there’s “four assholes coming in the rear in standard two by two cover formation”.

Copyright Google

 

And yea did it come to pass that Santa was seduced by the Dark Side, and verily were there no more presents. And it is written that, lo, young Fluke Skyhumper did come to Santa, for verily was Fluke the son of Santa.

And thus spake he, “I feel the good in you, Father (Christmas),” and lo did Santa reply unto him “Thee wilt join me on the Dark Side,” and verily did Fluke refuse.

And thus did they fight, yet neither wouldst kill the other, for kin they were, yea verily. And so didst Santa’s evil master Emperor Rudolph’s nose glow red and did emit lasers unto Fluke. And then did Santa attack Rudolph and did save his son Fluke, yet Santa, returned to good, was gravely wounded, yea verily, and didst he die.

And so endeth this tale, yet never more were there presents, for Santa had perished. Merry Christmas 🙂

 

Note: this is a work of fiction. Santa is of course alive and well and will be delivering presents as usual this Christmas. Yea verily.

Sharing My World Week 52

December 24, 2017 22 comments

Here is my post for Cee’s Share Your World.

share-your-world2

If you could hire someone to help you, would it be with cleaning, cooking, or yard work?
They could help me out with the cleaning. Well, they wouldn’t be “helping me” as I don’t do it at all. They’d be doing it all themselves.

If you were to move and your home came fully furnished with everything you ever wanted, list at least three things from your old house you wish to retain?
I’m assuming the “furnishings” include TV and whatnot so I guess it would be personal things I would be bringing. I have some photos and some artwork from my friends’ kids so that would all come. I have a load of photos in albums which haven’t been scanned so they would need to come too. Then of course there’s “the lads”.

What calms you down?
Reading and watching TV. Anything which takes me away from “the real life”, which is presumably why I’m not calm in the first place.

What inspired you or what did you appreciate this past week? Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.
I appreciated Lemsip and similar this week. Kept me going and functional 🙂

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FF – Not a Hat Shop

December 20, 2017 74 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Björn Rudberg.

This amount of hats just begged for a crazy Monty Python-esque scene.

Copyright Björn Rudberg

 

“Good day to you, Sir, and how may I help you?”

“Good day, Sir. I have need of a hat.”

“You are in luck, Sir, for we are a hat shop.”

“I see no hats, Sir.”

“Look around you, Sir, a veritable cornucopia of hats!”

“Ye-gads, Sir, no hats do I see!”

“Are you perhaps visually impaired, Sir?”

“The cheek! Since you have no hats I shall try one of your knitted tea-cosies. Perhaps that will keep my head warm. Yes, I’ll take it!”

“Of course, Sir.”

“These tea-cosies make excellent hats, Sir! Consider selling them as such.”

“Harrumph.”

 

Pegman – Lost Souls

December 19, 2017 40 comments

Here is my story for What Pegman Saw, which takes us to Buckhorn, Iowa. It is the one year anniversary, though I haven’t been doing it for that long, and this is where it started!

I’m quite late this week with my story. I have a nasty cold – chesty cough, headache, the full shebang, and my brain refused to come up with a story. I finally got there, so here it is 🙂 Hope it reads okay, I had to edit out 60-odd words.

Copyright Google

 

The bus drew up and the children disembarked. The graveyard seemed to stretch on forever.

“This is the Graveyard of Lost Souls,” explained Miss Tembleton. “Can anyone tell me why it’s called that?”

A small boy raised his hand. “Because no-one knows where the souls went, Miss.”

“That’s correct. During the early days of the Soul Wars, we didn’t know how to help those affected. Their bodies died but their life essence lingered.”

The children shuddered. “So where are they, Miss?”

“We don’t know. Floating around the place, maybe? I’m joking, of course. Now, back on the bus.”

She felt a coldness seep into her body, heard the Voice in her mind.

Well done, Tembleton. Continue to bring us vessels and your own children will remain safe.

Shivering, she looked around. Two of the children had strange looks on their faces, their eyes seeming far too old for their eight-year-old bodies.

 

FF – Globe

December 13, 2017 67 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Sandra Crook.

Copyright Sandra Crook

 

The Globe had stood for millennia, its origins shrouded by time, its purpose a mystery. The villagers, simple yet devout, came to pray for health, love… deliverance from the Down-Below.

Two such came now, kneeling in reverence before the globe. It burst suddenly to life, bright light blinding them! They cowered, whimpering, as a being, dark and foreboding, spoke.

“I’ve told you already, keep the noise down. And why are you sitting in the dark? If I have to come up here again…”

“Sorry, Mum.”

“Sorry, Mrs Daniels.”

And with that, the being returned to the Down-Below, the villagers safe again.

 

Pegman – The King

December 11, 2017 37 comments

Here is my story for What Pegman Saw which this week sees us at the Palace of Versailles.

Copyright from Google Maps

 

Pierre waited in the gilded antechamber, readying his performance. His anxiety increased. To play at the Palace of Versailles – an honour to be sure – was nerve-wracking in itself, but rumours were that the King himself would be in attendance. If true it was huge indeed – the King was thought dead.

The curtains opened leaving Pierre feeling exposed. Peering into the crowd, he was sure he caught a glimpse of the King’s trademark clothing – high-necked, glittering like the sun. He sat at the piano and started to play, adding his voice to the melody.

He finished, stood and bowed.

Silence.

All eyes turned to the King.

The King proclaimed in his deep voice, “Unoriginal. Return to sender, you hound dog. Thank you. Thank you very much,” struck a pose and left.

“Huh,” thought Pierre. “I hate Vegas. And the Palace of Versailles Casino and Ballroom can kiss my butt.”