draliman on life

I have finally got round to my Literary Lion post for this week, with only two days to go. This is hosted by Laura at I Smith Words and involves a word prompt, supplied by our friend the Literary Lion, and up to 400 words.

This week’s prompt is “morning”, and I have written a sort of inner monologue and jumped around a bit like I imagine his thoughts might in this situation. I have used a picture of the sun coming up at my workplace to illustrate “morning”. It doesn’t really have anything to do with my story :-).

Morning. Time to get my shit together.

Mourning. Hah, homonyms. Mourning in the morning.

Patent leather shoes, freshly-pressed trousers, white shirt with black tie. Top it all off with black jacket. Not cheap this suit. Hope they appreciate it. The other mourners.

Seems weird going without the wife. Well, she’ll be there I suppose. In the coffin. But it’s not really the same.

Never even knew what hit her. Never even saw it coming.

I can hear them now. Downstairs. Congregating, ready to head out. To the funeral.

Ready for mourning in the morning. Hee hee! Whoa, gotta get my shit together. Hysterical gigging won’t do. Won’t do at all.

This suit really suits me. Another one! I’m on fire today! Okay, gotta concentrate.

Shoot. Shoot. Cameras and guns. Is that a homonym? Or is it essentially the same word, different context?

So much I never told her. I used to run with some pretty dodgy people. She never even knew. One of them was the bloke I hired to shoot the wedding photos. Another was the bloke I hired to shoot my wife in the head after I found out she was sleeping around.

She shouldn’t have done that.

Okay, game face on, look sad, here goes…

This week Literary Lion has offered up the words “story in the woods” for our prompt. This challenge is hosted by Laura at “I Smith Words” and allows up to 400 words.

Here is my dark and chilling “story in the woods”! Well, okay, it’s a bit silly (again).

Copyright me

In the Dark of the Night

If you go down to the woods today, you’re sure of a big surprise…
“Are you rolling, Jeff? Good. We’re here in the depths of Deacon Woods. Tonight’s a very special night. A secret gathering, we’ve heard. We’re going to try to film it. Follow me Jeff, quietly!”

If you go down to the woods today, you’d better go in disguise!
“There they are, just up ahead! No-one’s ever got this close before. This is… this is amazing! Are you getting this, Jeff? I see campfires, trestle tables, lots of tables. And snacks. Lots of snacks. Buns, honey, this is incredible! Let’s get a bit closer, Jeff. Oh, don’t be such a fraidy cat! Yes, I know we don’t look like Teddy Bears, it’ll be okay.”

For every bear that ever there was will gather there for certain, because…
“I think they’re all here. Every single last one of them! Eating, having fun, this is fantastic television! Keep filming, Jeff. There’s a Pulitzer in this! I think… wait, a couple of them are looking this way. They’ve seen us!”

…today’s the day the Teddy Bears have their picnic.
“They’re stopping their picnic, coming towards us. Jeff, we need to move, now! We need to outrun them [puff puff] they look really angry round this next bend, Jeff, we’ll hide in the trees what the hell, what was that? Throwing stars? They’re Teddy Bears for God’s sake! Keep running Jeff, oh Hell, Jeff, your leg, oh God oh God, give me the camera, I’m sorry, I’ll come back for you I think I can escape… oh no, no no no, they’re all around me, dressed all in black, this is incredible, scary, what will they do? one of the Teddy Bears is approaching me…”

“I WILL TAKE THE CAMERA, HUMAN, IF YOU PLEASE. YOUR ADVENTURE IS AT AN END. AS IS YOUR LIFE.”

“Damn you, you cute furry murderous Teddy Bear ninja bastards.”