Posts Tagged ‘Star Trek’

To Boldly Go

June 4, 2015 26 comments

Laura Gabrielle Feasey over at I Smith Words has started a new flash fiction thingummy called “Literary Lion”, because Literary Lion looks after the prompts, you see. This one is for up to 400 words (wow, yeah, I know right, 400 whole words!) and this week the prompt is “Space”.

I’ve gone completely literal – the first thing I think of when I hear “Space” is Captain Kirk’s famous words at the beginning of Star Trek: “Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilisations, to boldly go where no man has gone before.

I know this is my third fiction this week, but although fairly long this one is all dialogue and so quite easy to wade through :-).

I got to thinking – I bet it wasn’t that polished when he spoke those words the first time. So let’s take a look, shall we, and see how it went?

Taken from Wikipedia, Copyright probably Desilu/Paramount

Taken from Wikipedia, Copyright probably Desilu/Paramount


“Space, the final frontier,” began Kirk. The bridge crew looked around expectantly. “These are the voyages of the star ship Enterprise,” he continued. “Its five year mission, to…”

“Five years? FIVE YEARS?” cut in a Russian voice. “I told my mum I’d be back for Sunday lunch!”

“Mr Checkov,” admonished Kirk. “Do you mind? I’m trying to give an inspirational speech here.”

“Sorry, Keptin.”

“To continue,” said Kirk, “…explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilisations…”

“And shoot them!” laughed the security guard by the turbolift.

Kirk looked at him. “You’ll be dead soon enough, red-shirt cannon fodder uncredited person, so I’ll let you have your fun this time.” The security guard turned a funny shade of green, which clashed rather abominably with his red jumper.

“As I was saying,” continued Kirk, “…to boldly go where…”

“You’re splitting your infinitive, Captain.”

“What’s that, Mr Spock? Splitting my infinitive, you say? I’ll damn well split my infinitive if I like, you pedantic fool. Are you the captain? No, I’m the captain. Besides, it will probably be the most famous split infinitive in the English language by the time I’m finished. If I may?”

“Of course, Captain,” said Spock, unfazed.

“…to boldly go…” Kirk paused, glaring around the bridge as if daring someone to object, “… where no man has gone bef…”

“’Person’, Captain. Or ‘one’. ‘Man’ is a bit sexist, don’t you think?”

“Oh, good God! Janice, shortly I will be involved in America’s first interracial TV kiss with the lovely Uhura.” He winked at the Lieutenant, who ducked her head and pretended she hadn’t heard. “One thing at a time. Baby steps, Yeoman, baby steps. Now, …no man has gone before!”

He looked triumphantly around the bridge, one arm held dramatically above his head. Everyone clapped.

“Now, Mr Sulu, ahead, warp factor… what’s a sensible warp factor do you think?”

“Um, two, Captain?” hedged Sulu.

“Very good, Mr Sulu. Fast enough that we mean business, not so fast that it looks like we’re rushing about like headless Ferengi. Warp factor two it is!”

And so the Enterprise went boldly towards the distant stars, the Captain’s speech but a distant, somewhat embarrassing memory.


Holo beam me up warptastic

May 26, 2013 9 comments

Daily Prompt: The Next Big Thing – What will the next must-have technological innovation be? Jetpacks? Hoverboards? Wind-powered calculators?

Ant or computer?

An ant – or a mobile quantum computing device?
Photo – Fir0002/Flagstaffotos (see below for full details)

It’s going to be quite boring, is what it’s going to be. It’ll make a big difference to us, but we won’t care about the technology. I’m thinking quantum computing and storage or some such thing. We’ll have ultra fast computing with thousands of terabytes of storage in a computer the size of an ant, but we’ll just view it as “the next generation of computer – about time it arrived, what are those scientists thinking, taking so long?”. Hey, we could mount these new computers in an ant for computing on the move.

What about the examples in the Prompt? Jetpacks? Dated. Tried it, didn’t work, move on. Hoverboards? Very “Back to the Future”. Wind-powered calculators? Ooh, yes, I want one of those. Please? Pleeeease?

How about the “next big thing we really want” instead? Or to be more specific, what I really want.

Molecular transporters. There’s the thing. Beam me up! Forget hours standing in airports. We can spend hours queuing for an international beaming instead. London to New York in 3 seconds (please arrive 3 hours prior to departure, check-in closes 1 hour before). Marvellous!

Now we’ve got travel sorted out, how about entertainment? Some sort of “deck” using “holograms”. We’ll call it… a “Holodeck”! Yes, what an idea!

We’ll also be needing to explore the universe, find new planets to live on. We’ll be wanting to “boldly go where no man has gone before”. We’ll need something to “warp” space so that we can get to new planets quickly. Let’s call it “warp drive”! Yes! We’re really cooking now!

All that’s left now is something to defend ourselves with while we’re out exploring. Lasers are all very well, but we really need something which will allow us to “stun” our foes. After all, we can’t be known around the universe as a bunch of killers, can we? I’m thinking some sort of “phased” energy. We could call the device a, a, a “phaser”! Yes! We now have all the ingredients we need for a better tomorrow!

The technology might not be there yet, but it would make a damn fine TV show. Maybe I should propose it to a TV production company? There could be some money in this. I have created…

… hang on a minute. It’s Star Trek isn’t it? I’ve just reinvented Star Trek.



“Holodeck” by DraliDoodles (TM). See below for apology.
Is this me on an alien planet? No, I’ve beamed onto a holodeck on a warp spaceship with my phaser!

An apology by the DraliDoodles (TM) team: DraliDoodles recently borrowed a drawing tablet from work in an attempt to make DraliDoodles (TM) appear more professional. It appears to have had the opposite effect. Apparently if you can’t draw to start with, a tablet only makes it worse. Sorry. [We’re going to go with the “it was drawn by a six-year-old” cover story, people.]

Photo – “Meat eater ant queen excavating hole”, from WikiMedia by “Fir0002/Flagstaffotos”, non-commercial distribution  (CC BY-NC)