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The Crossing

I seem to be posting an awful lot this week, but I stumbled across Lillie McFerrin’s Five Sentence Fiction challenge and thought I’d give it a go.

You can view all the other entries here.

The prompt word for this week is: FROZEN.


The white-tailed rabbit watched anxiously as her babies hopped one by one across the strip of land. It had taken some persuasion – the hard ground felt foreign to their paws, but it bisected their feeding ground and had to be crossed.

Breathing a sigh of relief as the little ones reached safety, she hopped out of the bushes and began her own crossing. As she reached the half-way point, she felt a tremor and heard a deafening rumble. Frozen in terror, she watched the lights coming closer, closer…

  1. February 1, 2014 at 9:46 am

    The car skidded around her with a blood curdling screech, the panicked driver, cursing himself managed to get back just in time to avoid a head on. Free of the spell the little rabbit hopped to her young ones as the other car whoooosed past, missing her by a whisker!


    • February 1, 2014 at 9:51 am

      If I’d had enough sentences that’s exactly how I would have ended it 😉


  2. February 1, 2014 at 10:00 am

    LOL! I couldn’t resist! Your story was very engaging! 🙂


  3. NotAPunkRocker
    February 1, 2014 at 12:14 pm

    I am horrible, if I had another five sentences the car would have missed her… And then she would have been scooped up by a hawk.


    • February 1, 2014 at 4:45 pm

      Ah, the cunning double-twist 🙂


  4. February 1, 2014 at 1:14 pm

    Good take on the prompt. I’d like to think Bunny made it over to her family! 😉


    • February 1, 2014 at 4:40 pm

      I’m sure she did 😉
      That’s the fun of flash fiction – leaving a question at the end.


  5. February 1, 2014 at 2:35 pm

    ..I hope an angel came to rescue her, so she’s safe 🙂 Pawkiss 🙂


    • February 1, 2014 at 4:44 pm

      I expect she dodged out of the way just in time – she knows her kids need her.


  6. February 1, 2014 at 3:35 pm

    Ah! Cliffhanger! I’m going to choose to think it was one of those trucks with a high undercarriage and it passed right over without harming the bunny. She crosses the road to her children and they are set upon by a hungry wolf pack 😉 Circle of life!


    • February 1, 2014 at 4:47 pm

      The comments on this story are split between those who choose to believe bunny reaches safety and those who want the bunny to avoid the traffic but get unexpectedly killed shortly thereafter 🙂
      Everyone has decided that she escapes the car, though!


  7. February 1, 2014 at 5:16 pm

    How about Cruella de Ville (spelling?) getting out of the car to pick up the family in order to skin them all for her latest coat. Easy pickings as I think bunnies are mesmerized by car head lights! .


    • February 1, 2014 at 5:27 pm

      Ooh nooo! They would make a nice coat though, and as you say, far easier to catch than those pesky dalmations 🙂


  8. merbear74
    February 1, 2014 at 5:58 pm

    Then, Paul McCartney swooped down, saving the day. Then everyone has some crumpets.


    • February 2, 2014 at 5:28 am

      Yay, rescued in the nick of time and then high tea and crumpets with Sir Paul 🙂
      Now I have a mental image of Holiday Paul wearing a cape and zooming around the countryside.


  9. February 1, 2014 at 7:56 pm

    Now I really feel like a scared rabbit!


  10. February 3, 2014 at 10:07 am

    omg!!! lol!!! Did you ever come across “The Animals of Farthing Wood”. This reminds me of the bit with the hedgehogs crossing the road. She says to her mate “Don’t roll up, don’t rollup.” Of course he does roll up … sadly 😦


    • February 3, 2014 at 4:30 pm

      I’ve heard of it but am not aware of the details. Maybe the bunny in mine survived – lots of commenters have given me survival scenarios!


      • February 3, 2014 at 7:42 pm

        I did read your response to one persons survival ending. It’s great that people are so optimistic 🙂


        • February 3, 2014 at 8:18 pm

          No-one wants to see a cute little fluffy bunny rabbit get squished.


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