Evil Squirrel’s Competition – Where’s My Nuts?
Evil Squirrel over at the Nest is holding a competition! We get the chance to win UD$20 worth of squirrel-themed thongs, or some such, from his squirrel shop.
Squirrel-themed thongs, I hear you ask? No, I didn’t believe it either – click here for the proof.
According to the rules of the competition, the entry can be anything we like as long as it contains a squirrel, a possum and a unicorn. Sounds like the ideal opportunity to make a childish play on the word “nuts” to me (desperately hoping as I do so that it has the same slang meaning in the rest of the English-speaking world as it does in the UK).
So here is my cute little children’s story – “Where’s My Nuts?” (Warning – not suitable for children, unless they don’t know that “nuts” is slang for “testicles” in which case it’s fine.)
Where’s My Nuts?
Squirrel was in a terrible state. He couldn’t find his nuts! He thought he knew where he’d buried them, but he must have been mistaken.
He looked high and low, over hill and over dale. He looked under the tree. He looked in the old tree stump. No nuts!
Squirrel didn’t know what to do. He sat under his favourite tree and started to cry.
“Why are you so sad, Squirrel?” came a voice.
Squirrel looked up from under his tree. Before him stood a magnificent creature, reminiscent of a horse, with a glossy white coat and a horn protruding from its forehead.
“Yes, yes, I am a unicorn,” said the creature. “Glorious am I not? Bow down before me, lesser creature of the woods!”
Squirrel bowed down.
“My question again, lowly one,” said Unicorn. “Why so sad?”
“I cannot find my nuts,” said Squirrel despondently.
“Nuts!” guffawed a voice from behind the tree. “Hee hee!”
“Who is there?” demanded Unicorn.
“It’s me, Possum!” said the voice. A small creature appeared from behind the tree, and sure enough, it was Possum. “Arf arf!” continued Possum. “He’s lost his ‘nuts’!”
“Ignore him,” Unicorn advised Squirrel. “Come, we shall search for your nuts…”
“Guffaw!”
“… as it is my duty to help the lesser beings,” finished Unicorn, glaring at Possum. “My horn has magic powers.”
“Thank you, oh Majestic One!” said Squirrel, a little more cheerfully. “For without my nuts I…”
“… can’t have children! Guffaw!”
“… will go hungry,” continued Squirrel.
And so the new chums looked high and low, over hill and over dale, under all the trees and inside all the old tree stumps. They still couldn’t find Squirrel’s nuts!
“Maybe someone has stolen them?” thought Squirrel aloud. “But who would want to eat my nuts?”
Possum was laughing so hard he couldn’t speak.
“Wait,” said Unicorn, “what’s that there?” He pointed to a patch of recently-disturbed earth next to the fence. “Search there, Squirrel. I believe my horn has found your nuts.”
Possum’s face was turning red and tears were streaming from his eyes.
Squirrel raced to the fence and began to dig.
“I’ve found something!” he called. “I can feel my nuts!”
Possum was banging his feet on the ground, trembling with mirth, his face getting redder by the second.
“Yes!” shouted Squirrel. “Yes! My nuts are in my paws!”
Possum gave one last guffaw and twitched. Blood trickled from his eyes and he went limp.
Squirrel thanked Unicorn.
“My pleasure, minion of the forest,” said Unicorn, and pranced majestically away.
And they all lived happily ever after. Except Possum who had, quite literally, laughed himself to death.
The End.
HaHa!! Glad he was reunited with his nuts. What a way to go! 😀
LikeLike
At least he died happy 🙂
LikeLike
There is so much awesome here. Love it!
LikeLike
Furry animals, childish humour and DraliDoodles – it’s got it all 🙂
LikeLike
A lovely tale for children and childish adults who need a good laugh. I love the Dralidoodles 🙂
LikeLike
Th squirrel actually looked OK. I still can’t draw horses (or unicorns) though. Or possums, evidently 🙂
LikeLike
Ha! I love your unicorn the best. It looks like the kind of unicorn I would draw. Majestic animal of the forest!
Of course now that the squirrel has found his nuts, he’s just going to play with them all day.
LikeLike
Hee hee guffaw 😉
LikeLike
LOL!! This was adorable, DM. I am so pleased the lost nuts were found. Phew. 🙂
LikeLike
It had to have a happy ending 🙂
LikeLike
That’s a new one even for Buster, who has died a thousand deaths already! I love the doodles too! Another great entry, and I would have been disappointed had someone not died! I will see to it Buster has no say on grading your contest entry…
LikeLike
Much appreciated – he probably wouldn’t take kindly to me whacking possums in the name of comedy.
LikeLike
That possum sure had a one-track mind! But I’m glad to know that the squirrel finally found his nuts….must have felt so good 🙂
LikeLike
Real good 🙂
LikeLike
😀
LikeLike
Good’un.
LikeLike
Thanks 🙂
LikeLike
Oh Drali that was so funny I think I laughed my nuts off!… oh no my nuts!… what? wait… girls don’t have nuts? oh phew never mind then then no need for panic… 😀
LikeLike
That was a close thing!
Hopefully there are no blokes who found it that funny, or there might be injuries 😉
LikeLike
Oh I hope they held onto their nuts so as not to lose them… oh and great unicorn… sorry about poor possum’s death but at least he died happy.
LikeLike
I didn’t quite get the head right but at least I remembered the ears. I think I captured his sense of superiority!
LikeLike
Awesome! You make my entry look lame.
LikeLike
No way – I love your posts which show us how to draw your ultra-cute little animals. Not that it helps people like me who have no drawing talent (see my unicorn)! I still don’t understand how I can have such a clear picture of something in my head and it comes out so differently on the page 🙂
I’m glad you enjoyed my entry!
LikeLike
Brilliant, I’ll have to look at the other entries but this really sounds like a winner…. So will you be posting a pic of you in your squirrel thong lol 🙂
LikeLike
I have a feeling a picture like that would “breach WP’s terms of service”!
LikeLike
Ha Ha, seriously though, good luck with the competition 🙂
LikeLike
Thanks 🙂
LikeLike
Hehe 🙂 Funny
LikeLike
🙂
LikeLike
Very funny–and the doodles are inspired lunacy 🙂
LikeLike
I thought they added a certain extra something 🙂
LikeLike
That’s pretty dang twisted, my friend. I’d say I’m the possum but I don’t want to bleed out via my eyes.
LikeLike
It’s not a nice way to go 😦
LikeLike
Oh my goodness. Sounds like a bunch of middle school boys! Thanks for the fun story (I’ll be giggling for a while.)
LikeLike
Possums are terribly immature, aren’t they?
I’m glad you enjoyed the story 🙂
LikeLike
I’ve read almost all of the entries until now (3 more to read). You are always my favorite (yes, with a little influence,:-))
It is an honor to be among with so many creative entries!!! Thanks to you 🙂
Love and hugs
Servant Z & Yelloz
LikeLike
Thanks Servant Z and Yelloz! There were some amazing entries (yours included) for this competition 🙂
LikeLike