Posts Tagged ‘squirrel’

Evil Squirrel’s Competition – Where’s My Nuts?

February 9, 2014 39 comments

Evil Squirrel over at the Nest is holding a competition! We get the chance to win UD$20 worth of squirrel-themed thongs, or some such, from his squirrel shop.

Squirrel-themed thongs, I hear you ask? No, I didn’t believe it either – click here for the proof.

According to the rules of the competition, the entry can be anything we like as long as it contains a squirrel, a possum and a unicorn. Sounds like the ideal opportunity to make a childish play on the word “nuts” to me (desperately hoping as I do so that it has the same slang meaning in the rest of the English-speaking world as it does in the UK).

So here is my cute little children’s story – “Where’s My Nuts?” (Warning – not suitable for children, unless they don’t know that “nuts” is slang for “testicles” in which case it’s fine.)

Read more…

Happy Happy Joy Joy – a nonet

June 2, 2013 8 comments

I have come to realise (and it’s also been pointed out to me) that my occasional poems and fiction (actually, not so occasional recently) have a fairly dark theme. The fiction always seems to need a dark twist, while my poems concentrate on the death of our environment, the death of our environment, the death of our environment and sometimes even the death of our environment!

Therefore I have decided to write a happier poem, in the form of a nonet (that’s the thing with nine lines, starting with nine syllables and working down to one).

This requires a big shift in my thinking. I need to think butterflies. I need to think rainbows, bunny rabbits and kitty-cats.

I’ll include a picture of a squirrel I took in a wood near my house to get me into the correct mood.


A fluffy squirrel.

Okay then, here goes.

Broken Lives

Demons of foul Death parade the land
Executing shivering souls
Suffering the innocent
Terror of broken lives
Ravaged and ended
Open wounds burn
Yells for help

Hmm, that was a little darker than expected. I was expecting more unicorns and rainbows and fewer gruesome deaths. Stupid useless squirrel picture.

In my defence, I couldn’t think of a nine letter word to write down the left-hand side (which is a new rule I just made up) that said “happiness”. Hang on…


Okay, that would have done. Next time, fluffy bunny rabbits!

Categories: Poems Tags: ,