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Underbelly

Here we are on Thursday with Friday Fictioneers, the prompt for which was posted on Wednesday. Confused? Never mind, because it’s story time, hosted as always by Rochelle.

The photo which prompts our 100-ish word story this week was contributed by Kelly Sands and features big clouds over houses. But are they clouds? ARE THEY? Or are they actually Something More Sinister (dum dum dummmm)? My story this week is a bit nuts, so bear with me.

The other stories this week can be found by clicking on Bracken, the little blue froggy, below.

Here’s the photo of the clouds. OR ARE THEY CLOUDS? etc etc.

roiling-cloud-1

Copyright Kelly Sands

It came from Outer Space. NASA had pictures and everything.

One evening in late May it had appeared over the sleepy hamlet of Little Frimpton. The residents took it in their stride, as country folk often do.

“What be that, Jed? Looks loike clouds. But not clouds.”

“That be the underbelly o’ one o’ them giant aliens, Jethro.”

“Oh. ‘Nother ale?”

In June it broke wind, hospitalising several members of the Little Frimpton Knitting Circle during a particularly complicated crochet demonstration. Gas masks were distributed to the villagers.

They could only hope that nothing more solid would follow. Though as one pragmatic farmer noted, “It would be good fer moi fields.”

  1. July 10, 2014 at 6:38 pm

    Ha ha! I need a gas mask sometimes just sitting with my family lol. Giant farting Aliens, what a terrible thought 🙂

    Like

    • July 10, 2014 at 6:47 pm

      Yeah, they’re the worst sort of aliens. Give me a good old-fashioned invasion any day.

      Like

  2. NotAPunkRocker
    July 10, 2014 at 6:51 pm

    One week it’s like you’re channeling Dario Argento, and the next week it’s Mel Brooks. 🙂 Yeah, I know those are directors, but it’s the first thing that came to mind.

    Either way, I probably should stop reading your stories if someone else is in the same room as me. Literal LOL for this one. 😀

    Like

    • July 10, 2014 at 7:02 pm

      Thanks, high praise!
      I’m so glad you enjoyed it and it gave you a laugh. That was my goal! I hope you didn’t startle the people around you though 🙂

      Like

  3. July 10, 2014 at 7:02 pm

    Hehehe… Pawkisses 😀

    Like

  4. July 10, 2014 at 7:11 pm

    Well, given what appears to be exposed to the villagers, I’d guess that they’d have access to the more “sensitive parts” of the alien should it attempt to get out of line…

    Like

    • July 10, 2014 at 7:21 pm

      Good thinking! Ooh, naughty alien bits 😉

      Like

      • July 10, 2014 at 7:22 pm

        If they glowed like ET’s finger, that would be really weird…

        Like

      • July 10, 2014 at 7:24 pm

        Urgh 🙂 If it starts to glow, RUN.

        Like

  5. July 10, 2014 at 8:00 pm

    You did not just write a fart story!

    Like

    • July 10, 2014 at 8:04 pm

      Might’ve 😉
      I put it rather more delicately, though I guess “breaking wind by any other name would smell as sour”, as Shakespeare might have said.

      Like

  6. July 10, 2014 at 9:58 pm

    This is the funniest thing I’ve read in weeks. I couldn’t stop laughing. You got me.

    Like

  7. July 11, 2014 at 1:59 am

    LOL. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to look at the prompt picture the same way again.

    Like

    • July 11, 2014 at 7:19 am

      I’ve spoiled a perfectly good photo 🙂

      Like

  8. July 11, 2014 at 4:36 am

    Al, I took another look at the prompt and I think the villagers were right. That was truly hilarious and was your funniest story to date. XD I love your regional dialogue and laughed out loud yet again. 😀 It made my morning. Well written. 🙂 —Susan

    Like

    • July 11, 2014 at 7:23 am

      I’m so glad you enjoyed it! I could see a number of gloomy stories coming from that picture so I thought I’d try for humour instead.
      I sometimes worry about using regional dialogue in case someone gets offended, but since it’s my regional accent I think I’m safe 🙂

      Like

  9. July 11, 2014 at 5:18 am

    Hahaha! First, the character names are hilarious. Guess there’s hillbillies everywhere. I can imagine the crochet club. So funny, doc.
    Ellespeth

    Like

    • July 11, 2014 at 7:26 am

      It was tentatively set in the rural West Country, hence the accents and names (though I don’t personally know anyone called Jethro, there is a famous Cornish comedian by that name).
      I imagine a group of industrious ladies busily knitting away – “Eh, Vera, what’s that awful sme… uh.” (thunk) 🙂
      I’m glad you enjoyed it!

      Like

  10. July 11, 2014 at 5:29 am

    Priceless! 🙂

    Like

  11. July 11, 2014 at 6:40 am

    Haha, farting aliens – you have the best kind of imagination. Loved it! 😉

    Like

    • July 11, 2014 at 7:27 am

      You’ve really got to watch yourself around giant farting aliens 🙂

      Like

  12. Lyn
    July 11, 2014 at 8:25 am

    LOL. Oh my, that was so good. I can just see the farmer in his turnip field with a bit of straw in his mouth while talking to a reporter.

    Like

    • July 11, 2014 at 10:06 am

      I think the villagers are quietly enjoying their moment in the limelight.
      I’m glad you enjoyed it!

      Like

  13. July 11, 2014 at 11:29 am

    It was the dog, the dog did it. Or blame aliens? That won’t work.

    Like

  14. July 11, 2014 at 11:29 am

    This is so funny, I almost spit my coffee all over the table.

    Like

    • July 11, 2014 at 12:13 pm

      A coffee-spitting-inducing comedy story is a successful comedy story 🙂
      Thanks!

      Like

  15. July 11, 2014 at 1:33 pm

    that was hilarious haha possibly the coolest fart story i’ve ever read. lol 🙂

    Like

    • July 11, 2014 at 1:37 pm

      It’s funny ‘cos it’s subtle 🙂

      Like

  16. July 11, 2014 at 7:00 pm

    what a creepy little town:) reminds me of Hot Fuzz:)

    Like

    • July 12, 2014 at 7:50 am

      Cool, that’s such a great film – I’ve seen it many times!

      Like

      • July 12, 2014 at 3:24 pm

        hahaha me too:) love Sean of the Dead too. havent seen their latest movie together, looks hysterical too. dorks of the world, unite:)

        Like

      • July 12, 2014 at 4:42 pm

        I’ve also seen Sean of the Dead several times – we have the same taste in films and humour I think!

        Like

      • July 12, 2014 at 4:44 pm

        definitely:)

        Like

  17. July 11, 2014 at 7:40 pm

    Hilarious – I love the idea of alien manure. And I’m not sorry I missed the crochet demonstration 🙂

    Like

    • July 12, 2014 at 7:50 am

      I hear the crochet demonstration was absolutely riveting before it “all went wrong” 🙂

      Like

  18. July 11, 2014 at 8:48 pm

    Dear Draliman, YOU WIN, YOU WIN, YOU WIN! Best passing gas story I have ever heard or read! I choked on my coke and it wasn’t pretty! You are so funny and have mastered the Aroma Therapy Fiction – thus, you win the Trophy! So absolutely funny – I’ve read it twice and Mike thinks it’s hilarious too! You are awesome! Nan 🙂

    Like

    • July 12, 2014 at 7:57 am

      Wow, what a lovely comment, thank you! I hear one metric for comedy success is the ability to make someone choke on their drink 🙂
      I’m so happy you guys liked it.

      Like

  19. July 11, 2014 at 9:14 pm

    The Incredible Inflatable Flatulent Alien attacks. I love it.
    I can just see Hollywood calling.
    If not Mel Brooks, then Eddie Murphy

    Like

    • July 12, 2014 at 7:58 am

      It’s a new but surprisingly efficient form of alien invasion 🙂
      I’m waiting by the phone right now for my big break.

      Like

  20. July 11, 2014 at 9:56 pm

    Douglas Adams beware, Ali’s writing farting alien stories! Hilarious, darling. You have the most British sense of humour since John Cleese himself. Bravo!

    Like

    • July 12, 2014 at 8:02 am

      Thanks! There is something a bit “different” about British humour sometimes, isn’t there 🙂
      I’m glad you liked it.

      Like

  21. July 11, 2014 at 11:59 pm

    The fart was made even more clever by the addition of the knitters. So very, very funny and not just a bit nuts – deliciously nuts.

    Like

    • July 12, 2014 at 8:06 am

      I’ve noticed that some of my favourite humour writers (Douglas Adams, Terry Pratchett) also add these little details when something silly happens and have found it works quite well.
      I’m really glad you enjoyed it 🙂

      Like

  22. Sun
    July 12, 2014 at 1:03 am

    any story with a Jethro character always adds spice and guess that’s how these folks explain the thunder phenomenon to their young’uns. 😛

    Like

    • July 12, 2014 at 8:09 am

      “Jethro” always says “small village farmer” to me, with a broad West Country (of the UK) accent!

      Like

  23. July 12, 2014 at 4:35 am

    Well, now you’ve crossed over into belly laughing writing. I was emotionally ready for the terror and you delivered a amazing humorous story.
    As a writer you are exempt from PC. Your characters are speaking, not you. Jethro lives on here in the Beverly Hill Billies.
    I want your mind.

    Like

    • July 12, 2014 at 8:25 am

      The clouds certainly opened up possibilities of terror but I suddenly had this idea instead. I’m glad you enjoyed it!
      I always worry a bit about stereotypes but sometimes they’re necessary for the story.

      Like

  24. July 12, 2014 at 2:13 pm

    What a hilarious and unusual take on this prompt! I love it. And fabulous job with the characters and their dialogue – I could hear them clearly in my head. 😀

    Like

    • July 12, 2014 at 4:38 pm

      Thanks, I love the West Country (UK) accent, it makes good dialogue. I do actually hear it out in the wild as well, as it’s my regional accent 🙂

      Like

  25. July 12, 2014 at 2:33 pm

    Dear Ali,

    That’s one of the most warped stories I’ve ever read. Dare I say, “What a gas!?” Unique and funny.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

    • July 12, 2014 at 4:41 pm

      Dear Rochelle,
      Ha ha 🙂
      I thought it was time for some humour and ended up with something some would describe as very British, given the subject matter!
      Ali

      Like

  26. July 12, 2014 at 5:36 pm

    You really went to the out house for this one. Really funny.

    Like

  27. July 12, 2014 at 10:24 pm

    ;0) What fun. Glad I don’t live there. But you gaga wonder what alien changes there’ll be to the soil, plant life, and to them that eats it all.

    Like

    • July 13, 2014 at 4:30 am

      Maybe it’s a slow poisoning via the food chain until the aliens are free to move in.

      Like

      • July 13, 2014 at 7:09 pm

        Ah. So that’s it.

        Like

  28. July 14, 2014 at 8:23 pm

    Really entertaining story.

    Like

  29. July 14, 2014 at 11:57 pm

    Oh good, I was hoping someone would write an alien theme. Really thinking outside the box, too, with it upsetting the knitting circle. Will they ever knit again or are their minds blown?! Ha ha. Great story.

    Like

    • July 15, 2014 at 6:45 am

      I believe they’ve quit knitting and started a gardening club.

      Like

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