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In the News

It’s Wednesday, and Rochelle has ushered in another 100ish word flash fiction, with a prompt photo by Janet Webb featuring a big icicle dangling rather precariously off a bush. I sure hope it doesn’t fall on somebody!

I’ve gone for a rather silly one this week. For other contributions, click on the blue froggy!

 

flowers-with-ice-janet-webb-2

Copyright Janet Webb

 

NewsRightNow.com 03/12/2014

Tributes were paid today to Britain’s best-known sunbather, Douglas “Fruitcake” Norris, who died in his back garden in Upper Littlebridge, aged 79.

Norris, famous for sunbathing in all temperatures, was sadly impaled through the brain while catching some rays underneath a large icicle, which became dislodged in rising temperatures.

“He was a lovely person who will be sorely missed,” said his daughter, Natalie Norris (43), while dangling upside-down from her washing line in her underwear. “We won’t see the likes of his nuttiness again.”

Next story – Shock as document reveals homes in Upper Littlebridge built on chemical waste site

  1. December 3, 2014 at 7:43 pm

    I love this. Those darn icicles. RIP Fruitcake.

    Like

    • December 3, 2014 at 7:52 pm

      He had a good innings 🙂
      I was going to say “maybe next time he’ll watch where he’s sunbathing” but then I remembered he’s dead.

      Liked by 1 person

      • December 3, 2014 at 7:53 pm

        You’re so morbid. 😀

        Like

      • December 3, 2014 at 7:54 pm

        Heh heh 🙂

        Like

  2. December 3, 2014 at 7:44 pm

    As usual, your stories never fail to make me smile! We’ll sure be missing Fruitcake Norris, but something tells me we won’t miss his nuttiness for long 🙂

    Like

    • December 3, 2014 at 7:54 pm

      I have a feeling there’s plenty more nuttiness in the little hamlet of Upper Littlebridge 🙂
      I’m glad I made you smile.

      Like

  3. NotAPunkRocker
    December 3, 2014 at 8:07 pm

    How far do you live from Upper Littlebridge? Just wondering… 😉

    Like

    • December 3, 2014 at 9:22 pm

      Are you implying that I might have had something to do with “accidentally” dislodging the icicle? The very idea 😉

      Like

      • NotAPunkRocker
        December 3, 2014 at 9:28 pm

        Yeah, we’ll go with that theory then 😀

        Like

  4. December 3, 2014 at 8:07 pm

    The icicle was probably acting as a lens and magnifying the rays – at least he went doing something he loved!

    Like

    • December 3, 2014 at 9:23 pm

      He was probably wondering how come he was getting such a lovely warm tan right up until…

      Like

  5. December 3, 2014 at 8:35 pm

    Haha. A little dark humor. Fun.

    Like

    • December 3, 2014 at 9:23 pm

      Glad you liked it! I haven’t done any dark humour for a few weeks now so it was about time.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. December 3, 2014 at 9:37 pm

    Film at 11?

    Like

    • December 4, 2014 at 8:30 am

      I reckon it would make a good film at 11.

      Like

  7. December 3, 2014 at 9:42 pm

    OMG…that was hilarious!

    Like

  8. December 3, 2014 at 10:50 pm

    Glad to see that his nuttiness is alive and well in his daughter, even if she doesn’t realise it yet. I suspect she will be very proud once people start to point out how like her lovely father she is.

    Like

    • December 4, 2014 at 8:32 am

      I’m sure she will be, I just hope she doesn’t meet a similar end 😦

      Like

  9. Lyn
    December 3, 2014 at 11:06 pm

    LOL It’s not only his daughter the nuttiness is alive and well in D-Man 😀
    I love reading your flash fiction – one never knows what might happen next.

    Like

    • December 4, 2014 at 8:33 am

      It’s a roller coaster of nuttiness 🙂
      I’m glad you enjoyed it.

      Like

  10. December 4, 2014 at 1:48 am

    Haha – well done! Greatly imaginative and of course funny!
    ~ A ❤

    Like

  11. December 4, 2014 at 2:19 am

    “while dangling upside-down from her washing line in her underwear”…those lines are what makes your stories fun to read. Have you ever been committed for your lunacy? I thought I saw you on the lawn of the rest home up in Upper Littlebridge.

    DJ

    Like

    • December 4, 2014 at 8:38 am

      Um, that wasn’t me, ahem 😉
      I’m glad you liked it!

      Like

  12. December 4, 2014 at 2:59 am

    r.i.p. as for the daughter, at least, she’s in her underwear. 🙂

    Like

    • December 4, 2014 at 8:38 am

      That’s something to be thankful for 🙂

      Like

  13. December 4, 2014 at 3:34 am

    I love this story. It is great.
    I needed the laugh.

    Like

    • December 4, 2014 at 8:39 am

      I’m glad you got a laugh when you needed it 🙂

      Like

  14. December 4, 2014 at 10:50 am

    Ali, Another story of dark humor straight from your great imagination. Just how many chemical dumps are there in England? They’re going to keep the mental hospitals busy now and in future. I hope the daughter doesn’t fall on her head. Hilarious and well written. 😀 — Susan

    Like

    • December 4, 2014 at 12:51 pm

      Susan,
      I’m hoping there aren’t any chemical dumps in England but there must be a few around the place. I hope the daughter will be okay too, I’m guessing she does this a lot!
      I’m glad you liked it 🙂
      Ali

      Like

  15. December 4, 2014 at 11:06 am

    Sunbaking in winter? I’m guessing those chemicals might have had high concentrations of lead.

    Very amusing.
    KT

    Like

    • December 4, 2014 at 12:52 pm

      I reckon it’s a whole cocktail of chemicals which has caused their odd behaviour. Glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  16. December 4, 2014 at 11:30 am

    Dear Draliman,

    This was a perfect story. Funny and lunatic and spot on serious. I am still chuckling as I swing upside down from the clothesline and type this comment. Well done.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    Like

    • December 4, 2014 at 12:53 pm

      Dear Doug,
      Thanks! I’m glad you spotted the little serious note as well. Careful on that clothes line!
      Ali

      Like

  17. December 4, 2014 at 11:30 am

    Dear Ali,

    You have exceeded all expectations. I laughed out loud and am grateful I wasn’t drinking at the time. I surely would’ve spewed coffee from my nose. Brilliant, if not twisted, bit humor.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

    • December 4, 2014 at 12:53 pm

      Dear Rochelle,
      I’m so glad I made you laugh 🙂 That’s always good to hear.
      Ali

      Like

  18. December 4, 2014 at 8:21 pm

    OMG! This is so funny! From the “Tributes” to “again.”

    Like

    • December 5, 2014 at 7:57 am

      I’m glad you liked it! Yep, it ended on a serious note.

      Like

  19. December 4, 2014 at 8:38 pm

    Brain freeze!

    On a tangent, Icicles are the perfect murder weapon. It’s a virtual lock your fingerprints won’t stay on the melted water….

    Like

    • December 5, 2014 at 7:58 am

      And you don’t get any of those awkward questions about the missing knife in the knife block.

      Like

  20. December 5, 2014 at 12:03 am

    If you loved the father, you’ll love the entire family.
    I used to hang with the daughter myself.
    Randy

    Like

    • December 5, 2014 at 7:59 am

      Ha ha, “hang”, upside down I take it. Well punned 🙂

      Like

  21. December 5, 2014 at 5:20 am

    Hahaha! Some people are that way without any chemicals at all 😛 They don’t help, though.
    Ellespeth

    Like

    • December 5, 2014 at 8:00 am

      They certainly don’t. I expect even without the chemicals this family would have been described as “eccentric”.

      Like

  22. December 5, 2014 at 9:30 am

    Dear Draliman, You are nutty and funny and wonderful! This is hilarious and so quirky! Love it, love it, love it! Funny! Nan 🙂

    Like

    • December 5, 2014 at 1:52 pm

      Dear Nan,
      I’m so pleased you loved it so much 🙂
      Ali

      Like

  23. December 5, 2014 at 7:45 pm

    Cute story. It made me shiver just to think about sun bathing in those temperatures. At least he went out doing something he enjoyed.

    Cheers!
    Marie Gail

    Like

    • December 6, 2014 at 6:33 am

      It was quite a chilly week of stories all round thanks to the photo!
      I guess the manner of his demise will just add to the myth/urban legend of the “year-round sunbather” in years to come and yes, it was probably how he would have wanted to go 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  24. December 5, 2014 at 11:09 pm

    I hope Natalie won’t lose her underwear, hanging upside down. 🙂

    Lily

    Like

    • December 6, 2014 at 6:34 am

      Ha, I hope not! The original draft was “nightie” but then I thought, ooh no, that’ll just fall off over her head 🙂

      Like

  25. December 6, 2014 at 7:42 am

    Ha – seems like daughters inherit some craziness after all. Being impaled by falling icicles has actually happened here in Sweden…

    Like

    • December 6, 2014 at 8:56 am

      Seems so!
      Wow, nasty. I imagined it could happen, they can get very large and sharp.

      Like

  26. December 6, 2014 at 9:52 pm

    Ha! This is great, Alistair. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, and now all the pieces are coming together with the chemical waste. The damage has been done. Oh, this is really funny. Thanks for the laugh. Impaled by an icicle. Oh, ouch!

    Like

    • December 7, 2014 at 7:01 am

      Like father, like daughter. Poor people!
      I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂

      Like

  27. December 9, 2014 at 2:29 am

    Funny characters, funny story. We’d all better watch out where we sunbathe. Not so much for the icicle risk, but for what’s beneath our feet, in the soil and in the air we breathe.

    Like

    • December 9, 2014 at 8:51 am

      Indeed. Without the chemicals he probably wouldn’t have been out there in the first place.

      Like

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