Home > Fiction > Cash Cow

Cash Cow

It’s time for my entry to Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo prompt is by Jean L. Hays.

I was going to do a dialogue based on all the “no parking” signs but ended up doing some even sillier dialogue concentrating on the banner which sort of says “Unthink”. I know it’s slightly bad form to write “500” rather than “five hundred” but I was having word count issues :-).

Read all the other contributions by clicking on the blue froggy.

begin-the-route

Copyright Jean L. Hays

 

“UnThink Memory Wipes” – only 500 bucks, and if ever there was a year Bob wanted to forget, this was it.

“One memory wipe,” said the receptionist. “500 dollars, please.”

Presently Bob emerged looking confused, the last year erased.

“One memory wipe – 500 dollars please, sir.”

Bob paid up (again) and left.

“Heh heh!” smirked the receptionist. “Great scam.” He turned to the technician. “You want your cut?”

“Cut of what?”

“You stood too close to the machine again, huh?” asked the receptionist.

“What machine?” asked the technician.

“Uhhhh… never mind. One memory wipe – that’ll be 500 dollars please, sir. Heh heh.”

 

  1. NotAPunkRocker
    January 7, 2015 at 8:26 pm

    I saw that Unthink banner and thought “I bet draliman writes about that!”

    Sadly, I didn’t make that bet with anyone, so I don’t get rich this week. Cute story though 🙂

    Like

    • January 7, 2015 at 8:29 pm

      You know me well :-). That banner definitely looked like it was begging for someone to write a story about it.
      I’m glad you liked the story even if you didn’t make a big wad of cash out of it!

      Like

  2. January 7, 2015 at 8:28 pm

    This was great! A great humor spin on classic sci-fi. 😆

    Like

    • January 7, 2015 at 8:31 pm

      I’m glad you liked my little bit of Total Recall meets… I don’t know… something crazy with Jim Carrey in it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • January 7, 2015 at 8:35 pm

        Have you ever read the original short story that inspired Total Recall? If not, you should, because it was rather humorous as well. 🙂

        Like

      • January 7, 2015 at 8:41 pm

        I’m aware of it but not sure if I ever read it. I’ll have to track down a copy, thanks!

        Like

      • January 7, 2015 at 8:48 pm

        PKD is one of my favorite authors. I think you’ll like it. The short story is called, We Can Remember it for you Wholesale, I believe.

        Like

      • January 7, 2015 at 9:18 pm

        Thanks!

        Like

  3. January 7, 2015 at 9:09 pm

    Can I get one of those? It wouldn’t solve my problems, but they wouldn’t bother me because I wouldn’t remember them.

    Like

    • January 7, 2015 at 9:19 pm

      Ah, but they’d probably still be there waiting to leap out at you. I expect Bob will discover that soon enough!
      I’ll put you on the priority list for when it’s invented, though 🙂

      Like

  4. January 7, 2015 at 9:19 pm

    Such fun! I saw the UNTHINK sign but COULDN’T THINK of a story about it. You’ve done a stellar job.

    Like

    • January 7, 2015 at 9:20 pm

      Thanks! The moment I saw it I thought “Total Recall but in reverse” 🙂
      I’m glad you liked it!

      Like

  5. January 7, 2015 at 10:20 pm

    I’ll take a few of those…wait, what? 🙂

    Like

  6. January 7, 2015 at 10:51 pm

    Very cute – if i could only remember what I was reading. 😉 Randy

    Like

  7. January 7, 2015 at 11:14 pm

    Ha! Good one, whoever you are.

    from someone

    Like

    • January 8, 2015 at 8:20 am

      Good one what? Who’s this? Who am I?

      Like

  8. January 8, 2015 at 12:06 am

    Such a fun story and very imaginative! I loved it.

    Like

  9. January 8, 2015 at 12:53 am

    i wondered what you were up to this time and i wasn’t disappointed. it was funny. truly enjoyed it. 🙂

    Like

    • January 8, 2015 at 8:23 am

      I’m glad you liked it! I saw the banner and thought it was just begging for a story.

      Like

  10. January 8, 2015 at 1:38 am

    Flashes to “Men in Black” … where did I leave my neuralizer? Darling Hubby also makes an excellent and effective shooter called the “Mind Eraser.” Thanks for the grins.

    Like

    • January 8, 2015 at 8:24 am

      You’re welcome for the grins 🙂 At least the neuralizer was free!

      Like

  11. January 8, 2015 at 2:34 am

    That was great (bump)…what am I doing here.

    DJ

    Like

    • January 8, 2015 at 8:24 am

      What are you doing where? Who are you? Whatever it was you thought was great, I’m glad 🙂

      Like

  12. January 8, 2015 at 3:30 am

    LOL…only you! 🙂

    Like

  13. January 8, 2015 at 4:50 am

    Not a clue how your mind works.
    How did you go there?
    Never would I waste $500 on anything I didn’t control or couldn’t eat.

    Like

    • January 8, 2015 at 8:26 am

      I was thinking outside the box 🙂
      Maybe you did spend $500 on a memory wipe and now you’ve forgotten.

      Like

      • January 10, 2015 at 3:29 am

        Noooo, I love wattling in my misery.

        Like

  14. January 8, 2015 at 4:58 am

    Ali, Hilarious. 😀 I don’t doubt there’ll be something like that one day, but it’ll probably be illegal like some drugs are now. There are some things we don’t dare forget. Actually, I forget enough without using one of those wipes. What I forget usually pops back in later though, so I don’t worry about it. 🙂 — Suzanne

    Like

    • January 8, 2015 at 8:26 am

      It’ll be “back room” memory wipes performed by “doctors” who got their medical degree online 🙂

      Like

  15. January 8, 2015 at 9:16 am

    This Friday Fictioneers thing is pretty cool. I think you should write one of these every week! Oh, sorry, I haven’t even introduced myself, I’m Evil Squirrel! Nice blog you have here Mr. Draliman!

    All kidding aside, I kinda got excited when I saw the picture, because old Route 66 runs just a couple miles north of where I live as it crosses from Illinois over into Missouri, so I’ve seen those signs a lot. I’m guessing from the “Begins” sign and the skyscrapers in the background, that the photo was actually taken in Chicago, so I can forget about trying to identify any of the landmarks in it…

    Like

    • January 8, 2015 at 9:25 am

      Nice to meet you, um, who did you say you are again? 🙂

      I’m aware that it’s a road and something about “getting your kicks on route 66” but that’s the limit of my knowledge on the subject. So I concentrated on the banner instead! I’ll have to take a look at Google maps and see where it goes.

      Like

      • January 8, 2015 at 9:28 am

        Route 66 technically doesn’t exist anymore, but it is a fabled part of 20th Century America, thus the “historic” signs. There are two breaks in the old Route 66 just near me… one of which is the bridge that goes from Illinois into Missouri. It shut down in the 70’s, and was recently turned into a walking trail.

        Like

      • January 8, 2015 at 9:33 am

        Thanks. I bet a few people still follow the route it took, just for the adventure!

        Like

  16. January 8, 2015 at 11:30 am

    What a great story. That ‘Unthink’ sign was just begging to become a story, and you’ve done it justice, and then some. Great fun.

    Like

    • January 8, 2015 at 11:48 am

      Yeah, I couldn’t let that one go by without making it part of my story 🙂
      Glad you liked it!

      Like

  17. January 8, 2015 at 12:41 pm

    Dear Ali,

    You have an amazing sense of humor. Mix that with Sci Fi and you have your cash cow. I can hardly type for laughing. Great story.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

    • January 8, 2015 at 2:13 pm

      Dear Rochelle,
      Thank you! I’m glad I made you laugh 🙂
      Ali

      Like

  18. January 8, 2015 at 12:42 pm

    Dear Draliman,

    Excellent, whimsical and humorous. Who could ask for more. I loved your story for its simplicity and imagination. Even the invention of Memory Wipes was inspired. Very well done.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    Like

    • January 8, 2015 at 2:14 pm

      Dear Doug,
      I’m so glad you enjoyed it. I seem to be on a “humour kick” at the moment!
      Ali

      Like

  19. January 9, 2015 at 12:52 am

    This is zany, Ali. I didn’t even notice the “Unthink” sign. Great take and really inventive. You always seem to see things I don’t. 🙂

    Like

    • January 9, 2015 at 8:06 am

      I wonder what that banner is really about? I’m glad you liked it 🙂

      Like

  20. January 9, 2015 at 1:34 am

    Great story! Also now I just have to read the PKD original as mentioned by your commenter.

    Like

    • January 9, 2015 at 8:07 am

      Thanks! I need to read it too. Having seen two versions of Total Recall, it would be nice to read the inspiration.

      Like

  21. January 9, 2015 at 8:10 am

    I’m cracking up over here…I will find a way to use the phrase ‘memory wipe’ in future situations.
    Ellespeth

    Like

    • January 9, 2015 at 12:50 pm

      Try dropping it into some everyday conversations 🙂

      Like

  22. January 9, 2015 at 9:54 am

    Ingenious! well done!

    Like

  23. January 9, 2015 at 9:56 am

    Good fun. Gave me a good laugh.

    Like

  24. January 9, 2015 at 10:01 am

    I’m glad you focused on the UNTHINK sign, Great story with a lot of humour but also a scary thought that such a machine would be in the hands of such a man. Still, I can’t help but admire his enterprising spirit. Maybe those who buy into it get what they deserve!

    Like

    • January 9, 2015 at 12:52 pm

      It doesn’t sound like the safest of machines to subject oneself to, does it? Glad you liked my story!

      Like

  25. January 9, 2015 at 4:59 pm

    Ha!! This was wonderful! A very imaginative idea. I think the 500 worked fine :-). I wonder if the person asking for the 500 will ever get caught by their own scam…

    Like

    • January 9, 2015 at 9:04 pm

      I’m sure sooner or later he’ll wander too close to the machine himself. Or the technician will twig that something’s afoot and take matters into his own hands (if he ever remembers who he is!).
      I’m glad you liked it 🙂

      Like

  26. January 11, 2015 at 4:45 am

    Who’s on first? Hu? What? Where? Very clever, Draliman!

    Like

    • January 11, 2015 at 4:47 am

      PS) I hadn’t figured out that the other sign said “un-think;” I just thought it was in Russian! :-p

      Like

      • January 11, 2015 at 6:24 am

        The first few times I read the sign I didn’t even notice that two of the letters are upside down. I guess my brain auto-corrected 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • January 11, 2015 at 6:26 am

        I noticed they were upside down, but thought I was looking at Russian… my brain shut down. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

    • January 11, 2015 at 6:21 am

      Thanks, glad you liked it!

      Like

  27. January 11, 2015 at 5:11 am

    so interesting – Route 66 is conventionally experienced from East to West, mimicking the countless California-bound travelers that headed that-a-way way before. But for nonconformists heading West to East on Route 66, this battered brown sign in downtown Chicago marks the end of the road. And if their rebellion is spent, they can drive a block north to the “Begin Route 66” sign and start chasing sunsets.

    Like

    • January 11, 2015 at 6:26 am

      I think I’d rather do it the “conventional” way and finish my journey in the warmth and sunshine!

      Like

  28. January 12, 2015 at 1:18 pm

    You never cease to amaze me with your sharp thinking & brilliant sense of humour. What a great tale. I was cracking up laughing lol 🙂

    Like

    • January 12, 2015 at 1:40 pm

      Thanks for such a lovely comment! I’m glad you liked it 🙂

      Like

  29. January 12, 2015 at 2:30 pm

    This had a CLASSIC comedy feel to it. Well done, darling. One of your best.

    Like

    • January 12, 2015 at 2:55 pm

      Thanks! Nothing too sophisticated, straight for the laughs 🙂

      Like

  30. January 12, 2015 at 11:40 pm

    “Get your Memory Wipes Here! Only $500 and it works!” I can just see this as a scam in the future – but it appears that it does work. Wow – I like how your mind works! Nan 🙂

    Like

    • January 13, 2015 at 8:42 am

      It’s the perfect scam when you can’t even remember where your money went!

      Like

  31. January 13, 2015 at 3:50 pm

    Oh my, I laughed out loud! What a great story.

    Like

  32. January 13, 2015 at 7:55 pm

    Ha.. very clever and fun .. I think.. I might have forgotten.. where do I pay?

    Like

    • January 13, 2015 at 8:11 pm

      You pay just over here sir, 500 dollars. Heh heh.
      Thanks, glad you liked it!

      Like

  1. No trackbacks yet.

Speak to me - I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: