Home > Fiction > Friday Fictioneers – Ready For Anything

Friday Fictioneers – Ready For Anything

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, the 100-ish word photo prompt hosted by Rochelle over at Addicted to Purple. The photo this week was contributed by G. L. MacMillan.

A cautionary tale from me :-). Good luck finding spelling mistakes this week – I’ve purposely misspelled almost everything!

As always, click on the blue froggy to see this week’s other contributions.


Copyright G.L. MacMillan


They say, there was these kids shootin’ bottles wi’ thur BB guns, when all sudden like, wi’ RAT-A-TAT! all them bottles ‘sploded. ‘Twere ol’ Jed, survivalist, wi’ ‘is assault rifle. Scared ‘em kids ‘alf t’ def.

Lived in one o’ them bunkers full a’ guns, n’ cans o’ beans an such. Oil gennies, water purifier, the works. World war three? Zombie ‘pocalypse? Na problem.

Then one day, they say, Jed were cleanin’ ‘is sawn-off an’ took both barrels under t’ chin.

An the moral o’ this story? All the prep’ration in t’ world ain’t na use if you’ve na common sense. Yer brains’ll still end up on t’ ceilin’.


  1. July 29, 2015 at 6:13 pm

    Hi I’m Shreya!
    Love the post. You have great content on your blog. Looking forward to reading more of your posts.
    I am relatively new to the blogging forum so please feel free to visit my blog and leave some feedback if you even find the time.
    Enjoy your summer.
    Shreya xx


    • July 29, 2015 at 7:31 pm

      Hi, thanks! I’ll see and pop by 🙂


  2. July 29, 2015 at 6:16 pm

    Yup. Brains on the ceiling. An appropriate finish for the old guy.


  3. July 29, 2015 at 6:50 pm

    Poor fellow should have known better.


    • July 29, 2015 at 7:54 pm

      He certainly should have. Clumsy and careless. But very well prepared!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. July 29, 2015 at 7:48 pm

    Shucks, ya’l writes a good tale.


  5. July 29, 2015 at 8:15 pm

    Ouch. Great moral, though. There’s a lot of Jeds around, they say.


    • July 30, 2015 at 7:09 am

      I think there are plenty of Jeds around, yes! Let’s hope most of them are a bit more careful.


  6. July 29, 2015 at 8:47 pm

    Hahaha good one 🙂


  7. July 29, 2015 at 8:49 pm

    Love this – great job!


  8. July 29, 2015 at 9:10 pm

    Reblogged this on William Chasterson.


  9. July 29, 2015 at 9:51 pm

    ‘ain’t tat t’ truth ! (I tried to respond in this dialect and it’s not easy. Great story and the narrator’s and narrated one’s characters seep through very well.


    • July 30, 2015 at 7:11 am

      I had to keep reading it out to myself to make sure it sounded right (or correctly wrong!).
      I’m glad you saw their characters come through 🙂


  10. July 29, 2015 at 10:35 pm

    Good voice. Guess he got his come upin’s.


    • July 30, 2015 at 7:14 am

      I guess it’s that “familiarity breeds contempt” thing. The one time he doesn’t check to see it’s unloaded first.
      Glad you liked it!


  11. Francesca Smith
    July 29, 2015 at 10:42 pm

    My goodness, that must have been a task to write out!
    I guess, in his case, what goes round must come back round.


    • July 30, 2015 at 7:15 am

      It was a bit tricky with all the apostrophes and making sure it sounded okay!
      He won’t be frightening any more kiddies by “discharging a weapon in a public place” anyway.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. July 30, 2015 at 1:06 am

    That was so horrible it made me LOL.


  13. July 30, 2015 at 3:08 am

    Great work, Ali. Dialects are hard to pull off, but you’ve done a good job putting together a story that is actually driven by the dialect.

    All my best,


    • July 30, 2015 at 7:17 am

      Thanks! I was just going to write it as a straight narrative but quickly realised it would work better in dialect. I’m glad it worked for you!

      Liked by 1 person

  14. July 30, 2015 at 3:33 am

    You can’t prepare for stupid.
    Nice work.


  15. July 30, 2015 at 6:27 am

    Tha’s done a reet fine Lancashire accent there. 🙂 Made me smile.


    • July 30, 2015 at 7:18 am

      Thanks, I’m glad it came through okay 🙂


  16. July 30, 2015 at 7:05 am

    Love this! Very well done.


    • July 30, 2015 at 7:18 am

      Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed it!


  17. gentlestitches
    July 30, 2015 at 7:31 am

    HaHaHaHa! and ewww!!! 😀 (loved it)


  18. July 30, 2015 at 7:59 am

    Hahaha what logic.


    • July 30, 2015 at 11:45 am

      If it’s logical, it must be true 🙂


  19. July 30, 2015 at 11:41 am

    Always wondered about that old stain on’t ceilin. Bet your spell checker exploded too!


    • July 30, 2015 at 11:46 am

      Now I bet you wish you didn’t know. It’s Jed!
      Yep, both MS Word and Google Chrome’s spell checkers lit up like Christmas trees 🙂


  20. July 30, 2015 at 12:14 pm

    Great work on that dialect, spot on.


  21. July 30, 2015 at 3:54 pm

    Great use of dialect! And I agree–we’re all going to die, so what are these survivalists stocking up for?


  22. July 30, 2015 at 4:30 pm

    All that preparing to survive ain’t no fun if you’re all alone. Probably meant to spread his brains on the ceiling. Your voice was right on – well done!


  23. July 30, 2015 at 5:38 pm

    Dear Draliman – First thing before cleaning your rifle, make sure no ammunition is in the chamber! Good story! Nan


    • July 31, 2015 at 10:57 am

      Dear Nan, Forgetting something like that can be a very big deal, poor Jed. Glad you liked it !


  24. Dale
    July 30, 2015 at 6:10 pm

    Fabulous… I kin ‘most hear th’ banjoes…


  25. July 30, 2015 at 6:19 pm

    Very funny! Probably good place for his brains to be. Haha!


  26. July 30, 2015 at 9:19 pm

    Somehow, I don’t think ol’ Jed will be missed by anyone….


  27. July 30, 2015 at 10:58 pm

    Dear Ali,

    There’s a saying that’s one of my all time favorites. “If sense was common, we’d all have some.” Apparently Jed was one who din’t. Good ‘un.




    • July 31, 2015 at 10:58 am

      Dear Rochelle,
      I like that! Jed was certainly lacking in the common/good sense department.


  28. July 30, 2015 at 11:30 pm

    Yeah? And who do ya thing will clean the ceiling? Not Ma!


  29. gahlearner
    July 30, 2015 at 11:43 pm

    Oh dear, that was a challenging read for me, didn’t prevent me from chuckling my way through to the horribly funny end. Jed has just won the Darwin award.


    • July 31, 2015 at 11:01 am

      It was also hard to right, trying to get the apostrophes in the right place! I did think it might be hard to read, especially for those whose first language isn’t English. I’m glad you persevered, though!
      It’s a shame no-one who wins a Darwin Award ever knows how famous they just became!

      Liked by 1 person

  30. July 31, 2015 at 6:49 am

    I read this out loud and it sounded brilliant (and I can’t do accents)! Your writing gets better and better.


    • July 31, 2015 at 11:04 am

      Thank you for your lovely comment!
      It does need to be read out loud for the “full effect”, I think 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  31. micklively
    July 31, 2015 at 7:01 am

    Cleaning a loaded gun is incredibly stupid: almost Darwin Awards standard.
    Good piece.


    • July 31, 2015 at 11:05 am

      He might get one if anyone ever bothers to nominate him 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  32. July 31, 2015 at 5:51 pm

    Love the dialect…not sure where it’s from. mind. Is that ‘ow yer talk down in Cornwall? Methinks Jed’s a bit short of a few little grey cells – or perhaps he just needs to ask Santa for a good dollop of common sense next Christmas. 🙂


    • July 31, 2015 at 7:57 pm

      I’m not exactly sure where it comes from. Cornwall, “up north” or even the wilds of the US.
      Jed’s short of all his grey cells now that they’re splattered all over the ceiling 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  33. August 1, 2015 at 11:00 am

    Quite impressive. Your fiction reminds me of a Humorous post i wrote inspired by language of people in the Drug Trade business:



  34. August 2, 2015 at 10:23 am

    The dialect is great! Seems like common sense is often in short supply.


    • August 2, 2015 at 10:53 am

      Not as “common” as the name would suggest 🙂


  35. Susan Langer
    August 3, 2015 at 2:26 am

    Great story. I loved the dialect. That took some work. 🙂


    • August 3, 2015 at 8:51 am

      Thanks. Yes, I had a lot of fun getting the apostrophes right and making sure it sounded correct out loud.

      Liked by 1 person

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