Home > Fiction > Literary Lion – Skool Dayz

Literary Lion – Skool Dayz

Here is my contribution for Laura’s fortnightly Literary Lion challenge. The Literary Lion has spoken, and this week’s prompt word is “limerick“.

The photograph was taken by Christopher Web (flikr) and supplied under a Creative Commons licence.

SchoolHallway

 

Mr Glass looked around the class.

“Right everyone, I hope you’ve done your homework. Randall, we’ll start with you.”

Randall stood up and began reading.

“Limerick is a town in Ireland, innit. It is in the province of Munster, yo. It…”

“Let me stop you there, Randall,” interrupted Mr Glass. “The assignment was to write a limerick, not to write about the town of Limerick.” The class tittered.

“Woah dere. I has spent hours…”

“… minutes at most…” broke in Mr Glass,

“… on dis!” finished Randall.

“I’m sorry, Randall, but…”

“Right! Here is a limerick den, yo!” Randall began to make boom-box noises.

“I does da homework on time,
But Mr Glass he wants a rhyme,
I was doin’ jus’ fine,
All dahn the line,
An’ I don’ do drugs,
‘Cos I ain’t no mug,
Rub-a-dubba-dub. Pshhhhhhh… the Word. Yo.”

The class burst into appreciative applause.

“Randall,” said the long-suffering Glass, “two things. One, that barely makes sense. Two, that’s a rap, not a limerick.”

“Oh man, it’s like I can’t do nuffin’ right!” exclaimed Randall. “Okay den, here’s a limerick for ya!

“Dere once wuz a teacher named Glass,
Who always had trouble in class,
He hates all da kidz,
Now his life’s on da skidz,
He could do wiv a kick up da…”

“RANDALL!”

 

  1. Belinda Crane
    September 5, 2015 at 10:13 am

    Ha! Love it! 🙂

    Like

  2. September 5, 2015 at 10:54 am

    Haha! Too good
    👍

    Like

    • September 5, 2015 at 3:02 pm

      Thanks for the cool little thumbs up, I’m glad you liked it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Lyn
    September 5, 2015 at 10:56 am

    Oh my, this had me laughing and choking on my lemonade. Well done D-Man 😀

    Like

    • September 5, 2015 at 3:03 pm

      I’m glad you liked it, and hope you didn’t spray your lemonade everywhere 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. September 5, 2015 at 4:40 pm

    Hilarious, Ali. 😀

    Like

  5. September 5, 2015 at 5:21 pm

    This was simply hilarious, a very interesting student to say the least. Nice one!

    Like

    • September 6, 2015 at 6:02 am

      I bet there’s one like him in every class 🙂
      I’m glad you enjoyed it!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. September 5, 2015 at 5:52 pm

    I very much like the limerick. I have some really GOOD ones … and some really dirty ones that believe it or not, I got from my mother who had a weird fondness for dirty limericks.

    Like

    • September 6, 2015 at 6:02 am

      The best limericks are the dirty ones.

      Like

  7. September 5, 2015 at 10:59 pm

    HaHaHa! Randall is obviously talented and bright. A + for research and thinking on his feet.

    Like

    • September 6, 2015 at 6:05 am

      I think Randall will go far. He’s certainly quick with a witty response!

      Like

  8. September 6, 2015 at 12:01 am

    So hilarious 😛 Also shows some of the issues of the school systems.
    Ellespeth

    Like

    • September 6, 2015 at 6:06 am

      I’m glad you liked it! Randall seems very creative, it needs nurturing.

      Like

  9. September 6, 2015 at 5:19 am

    Very funny, and most likely true! 🙂

    Like

    • September 6, 2015 at 6:11 am

      Yeah, I’m betting this is quite a common class room scene 🙂

      Like

  10. NotAPunkRocker
    September 6, 2015 at 5:34 am

    I’m very impressed with your ability to throw down some sick rhymes, yo!

    Like

    • September 6, 2015 at 6:11 am

      Pretty good for an Oldie, innit 🙂

      Like

      • NotAPunkRocker
        September 6, 2015 at 7:02 am

        We’re all oldies to those kids, aren’t we?

        Sigh.

        Liked by 1 person

  11. September 6, 2015 at 2:31 pm

    Straight Outta Limerick!

    Like

  12. September 6, 2015 at 3:32 pm

    Wow! Impressive skillz there, yo! 🙂

    Like

    • September 6, 2015 at 4:31 pm

      I is dahn wiz da kidz, innit 🙂

      Like

      • September 6, 2015 at 4:33 pm

        You is da whiz and shiz! 🙂

        Like

      • September 6, 2015 at 7:48 pm

        🙂

        Like

  13. September 8, 2015 at 5:41 pm

    A very amusing story, Ali! I wonder whether Randall will be heading for detention after that? Very nicely done. 🙂

    Like

    • September 8, 2015 at 7:59 pm

      If he is I’m sure he’ll have something vaguely illiterate to say about it 🙂
      I’m glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  14. September 14, 2015 at 11:39 am

    Haha, nice. I like that you put the limerick into context, and I’m a huge fan of an inferred rhyming word that isn’t quite said, it reminds me of naughty songs I used to learn in the playground.

    Like

    • September 14, 2015 at 12:05 pm

      I thought it was funnier leaving the obvious unsaid 🙂
      And you got a free rap out of it as well!

      Liked by 1 person

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