Friday Fictioneers – Cosmic Toilet
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. The photo this week was contributed by Roger Bultot.
I’ve gone for a silly, rather juvenile story this week. If you’re not familiar with “Dr Who”, all you need to know is that he travels through time in a TARDIS which is stuck looking like an old police box since its chameleon circuit jammed, and it’s bigger on the inside than the outside.
Click on the blue froggy to see this week’s other stories.
Copyright Roger Bultot
“Wow, look, that could be the TARDIS. Like off Dr Who!”
“It’s a portable toilet.”
“No, let’s go inside to see if he’s in there!”
“Who?”
“The Doctor, of course!”
“It’s a portable toilet.”
“Hmm, it is a bit of a tight squeeze. And very dark.”
“That’s because it’s a portable toilet. Hey, what’s that noise?”
“I thought since we’re in a portable toilet I’d offload that curry I had last night.”
“Oh my God. Let me out!”
“Aaaahhhh, that’s better. Hey, the door’s opening. Oy, occupied!”
Creeeaaak.
“What the Hell are you two doing in my TARDIS? And what is that smell?”
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Friday Fictioneers
draliman on life 
You did warn about the juvenile nature of the story …so no comments on that . If this is where the picture took you then that’s it, we just have to deal with it 🙂
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I’ll echo ansuman’s comments here. 🙂 🙂
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I give this a certificate “12” – not to be read by anyone over the age of 12 🙂
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The two things which immediately sprang to mind were TARDIS and Portaloo 🙂
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The Doctor would be extremely upset. I wonder how that would play in the series?
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I don’t think it would make the cut.
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Both you and Ted went the Dr. Who route. I MUST watch a Dr. Who movie (oops, showing my ignorance aobut a VERY popular movie.)
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See, I knew it was a TARDIS. Two of us can’t be wrong.
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Ugh, curry. I know a little about Dr. Who cause of the kid.
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Mmm, curry. I regret it the next day, though.
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I laughed out loud just reading the title, let alone the story. Hilarious, Ali. Poor, poor Dr. Who. The Tardis may never be the same. How will he get women to ride along with him now? Well done. 😀 — Suzanne
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I think he’s out of luck in the companion department for a while 😦
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lolz
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🙂
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Oh SHIT, that was hilarious… here in Sweden a toilet would be marked with a heart on the door… 🙂
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I’m glad you liked it!
That’s interesting about the heart on the door. I wonder how that came about?
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Thanks for the warning and I went there anyway! You are right, there is not a boy (and you all remain boys…) who doesn’t like “pipi caca” stories! Fun!
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I thought it was only fair to warn readers! We boys love our toilet humour 🙂
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Dr who and toilet humour – genius!
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Everything good under one roof 🙂
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Dear Ali,
You gave us fair warning and I entered anyway. I think this story should be celebrated with spit wads. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
Twas a silly mood I was in yesterday!
Ali
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Who? Dr. Poo? I feel like being 12 again… LOL. BTW, in Bavaria, traditional outhouses (without running water)–what people used to have eons ago–there were also heart-shaped window openings in the doors. There is also a Bavarian proverb: when the butt hums, the heart is healthy (it rhymes in Bavarian). Maybe there’s a similar proverb in Sweden?
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Bavaria too, huh? I seem to recall from the occasional old Western film that the cowboys always sat in one with a crescent moon on the door.
I’m glad you liked my silly little story 🙂
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As a Dr. Who fan, I can only say… LOVED IT! I completely missed the TARDIS connection in the prompt. Bless you for seeing what I could not. I’m still laughing as I type this (Thankfully no typos). Best story of the day!
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The first thing I thought when I looked at the photo was “ooh, TARDIS” 🙂 The Doctor might have to regenerate after this unfortunate incident.
Glad you enjoyed it!
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Silly and fun. It does rather more resemble a portapotty than a tardis.
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An easy mistake to make!
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I was holding my breath reading through all the submissions hoping no one thought what I was thinking: TARDIS. But, no, there had to be other Dr. Who fans out there. There just had to be! 🙂
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Hee, that’s a TARDIS in disguise if ever I saw one 🙂
Plus we’re nearly at the end of the current series, I’ve started watching series 1 again, I’ve recently watched a load of Jon Pertwee Dr Who and I just bought a really cool Dr Who Christmas jumper from the BBC shop. So I currently have Dr Who on the brain!
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Okay. I forgive you… 😉
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🙂
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this story made my day. very funny. 🙂
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Thanks! I’m glad you liked it and found it funny 🙂
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I hope the sonic screwdriver has a plunger, lol 🙂
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Hah, yes. It does do pretty much everything else (except “wood”) 🙂
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Potty humor always funny. Wonder why?
Dr. Who is a favorite, he’s be so pissed, and i’m sure the planet he’d leave these two on would befit their crime! 🙂
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Not the sort of person you want to upset, with all of space and time at his disposal for their disposal 🙂
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I see I am too late with a Dr. Poo comment, so I’ll just do an appropriate Beavis & Butthead snicker at this tale…
Huh, huh, huh! Huh, huh, huh!!!!
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You’ve gotta get in quick with stuff like Dr Poo 🙂
Beavis and Butthead is an appropriate substitute.
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Thanx for the ‘stuck chameleon circuit’ info. Watched a few of the Pertwee episodes and then Tom Baker, but never questioned why it was a Police call box. 😳
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I think he mentioned in a later series that he could actually fix it, but he’s grown rather fond of the shape 🙂
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As have most of us. 😀
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🙂
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OMC I was MOL while I went to the port with your story… 😀 Pawkisses for a Happy Weekend 🙂 ❤
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And to you 🙂
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Oh my, I so wouldn’t want to be in that Tardis in that moment. 😀
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I dunno – it is the TARDIS after all! Well, okay, maybe not right at that moment.
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Ah .. I do so love the Doctor .. and should have thought that that outbuilding resembled the TARDIS … how terribly embarrassing though for the lads that the owner of the TARDIS should return just then!
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Yep – pretty bad timing for both the lads and the poor Doctor! The TARDIS used to be invulnerable but it seems any Tom, Dick or Harry can wander in and out these days.
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Love it… got to send this to my granddaughter!
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Heh, I’m glad you liked it! Hope she does too 🙂
We both went “Time Lord” this week!
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That was funny and fun. Curry offloads, indeed!
Randy
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That was the worst “morning after” food I could think of! I’m glad you liked it 🙂
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hilarious……you always deliver! saw something or other coming…… and still a surprise. great work Ali ! 🙂 🙂
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I like that you know something’s coming… but what? 🙂
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lavatory humour!
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Haha! Very funny. Yes, I’d be out of there too if someone was offloading their curry. That made me laugh.
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I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂
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You would fit in perfectly with the class I am teaching this year…. Not necessarily a compliment… they are seventh graders! (Such a potty mouth) Enjoyed.
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That’s exactly the age group I thought would enjoy this story!
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They would!
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Ya made me smirk. 😉
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🙂
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Obviously he thought it was a Turdis and being a lav rat……
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Ha, very funny 🙂
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It’s hard to deny that the image looks like a portapotty, so you took it where it was headed anyway! 😉 The image is so fabulous! Calls out for Sci-fi… and humor, apparently. 😉
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Yeah, if that’s not a TARDIS disguised as a portaloo I don’t know what it 🙂
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Ha ha. i’ll never look at a portable loo in the same light again. Come to think of it, I’ll never look at the Tardis in the same way, either.; I understand the lad’s mistake completely. Who wouldn’t think a portable toilet looked like a Tardis? Your ending was excellent! (Those two weren’t Bill and Ted, were they?) 🙂
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Ha, they could be Bill and Ted 🙂 Anything that shape and size is a potential TARDIS I reckon!
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You are SILLY!
I enjoyed that story — my silly, childish self, that is (and now I assume a mantle of dignity, and look ahead with a stern gaze).
Hahaha!
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It’s the sort of story you mustn’t admit to liking when in polite company 🙂
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ha ha ha.. trust me, this was simply superb! I am still smiling! Great read.. 🙂
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I’m glad you enjoyed my bit of silliness 🙂
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🙂
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Who knew the TARDIS has a toilet. I guess it has to, though. Multiple toilets. Imagine! What’s the waste disposal system like on that? Does the Doctor, erm, offload the materials whilst swirling through space and time? Does it get made into a silly little cube, rather like a car-cruncher does with metal at a junkyard, and stored somewhere? Is there a heretofore unmentioned “Poop Planet” in the Whoniverse? If they have room for dinosaurs, the Titanic, the Slitheen, Daleks, the Silence, the weeping angels, the Rani, et al, I guess anything’s possible. (But ugh!) The world may never (want to) know the answer to where this planet lies!
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You’ve put way too much thought into the TARDIS’s toilet facilities! Top marks for mentioning The Rani, though. Classic Dr Who! I only remember the Doctor meeting 4 other Time Lords outside of Gallifrey, the Rani being one.
There’s probably a huge room where it all gets stored and then he just jettisons the whole room when it full. Yuck!
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Yuck is right! Thank goodness they don’t go into this unseen aspect in the TV or books (as far as I know, anyway).
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I echo that 🙂 Films and TV as a whole are notoriously devoid of toilet-related activities!
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