Home > Fiction > Friday Fictioneers – The Beginning of the End

Friday Fictioneers – The Beginning of the End

Here is my tale for this week’s Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. The photo this week was contributed by Luther Silar.

To read the other stories, click on the blue froggy.

Copyright Luther Silar

Copyright Luther Silar

 

“Waaaaa! Waaaaa! Uncle Jeremy shot Flapper! Waaaaaa!”

“What the hell did you do, Jerry?”

“I thought that the Christmas turkey had escaped.”

“IT’S YELLOW!”

“Big Bird’s yellow.”

“Big Bird’s not real! Turkey’s aren’t yellow!”

“What is it then?”

“It is… was a ‘Flapper Enhanced Robotic Companion’. Look at Timmy’s little face. You’ve shot his present. You’ve ruined Christmas.”

“Robots? Huh. Good job I shot it, then. It’s the Rise of the Machines. What’s this, now?”

I am Robbie, your helpful Kitchen Companion. You have murdered Flapper. Therefore I will now terminate you.

“See? Told ya.”

 

  1. December 10, 2015 at 10:30 am

    Do unto others…. etc. 🙂

    Like

    • December 10, 2015 at 5:32 pm

      He’s about to learn that the hard way 🙂

      Like

  2. December 10, 2015 at 10:43 am

    Ali, your story was funny, but when I read Sandra’s comment I laughed out loud. This was great. It made my day. 😀 — Suzanne

    Like

    • December 10, 2015 at 5:33 pm

      I’m glad you liked it! It could happen, you know 🙂

      Like

  3. December 10, 2015 at 11:41 am

    Dear Ali,

    “My name is Inigo Montoya, you keeled my father, prepare to die.” I love your warped sense of humor and your story.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

    • December 10, 2015 at 5:34 pm

      Dear Rochelle,
      I’m glad you liked it! The robot rebellion starts in a small family home in England…
      Ali

      Like

  4. December 10, 2015 at 12:47 pm

    ha ha. Funny story.

    Like

  5. December 10, 2015 at 1:33 pm

    My pappy always told me, “Never trust a big yellow robotic bird”. I always thought that was strange (Pappy said a lot of weird things when he was drunk) but now I understand. This sounds like a job for Will Smith… or John Connor. Either works for me. Fun story and great take on the prompt!

    Like

    • December 10, 2015 at 5:36 pm

      Your Pappy was a wise one.
      A small family home, a dead yellow bird, a homicidal robotic kitchen assistant and Arnie saying “Come with me if you want to live”…

      Liked by 1 person

  6. December 10, 2015 at 5:58 pm

    Robbie should make sure there aren’t any bullets left in that gun before he goes spouting off about “terminating” people like that…

    Like

    • December 10, 2015 at 6:19 pm

      Yes, he’s shown his “hand” too soon. Or is it all part of Terry Toaster’s grand plan?

      Like

  7. December 10, 2015 at 7:45 pm

    MOL… 😀 Pawkisses 🙂 ❤

    Like

  8. December 10, 2015 at 8:23 pm

    Ali, this is a hoot ~ from the first Waaaaa! to See? Told ya. Thanks for the afternoon chuckle. (I will now have t oreturn the robotic vacuum cleaner I got my sister for Christmas.)

    Like

    • December 11, 2015 at 12:01 pm

      I’m glad you enjoyed it!
      That vacuum definitely needs to go back. You never know when it could rise up 🙂

      Like

  9. December 11, 2015 at 12:06 am

    The revenge of the machines. I can see it, how often do we take out our anger on our simple machines, the computer we throw across the room, the phone we smash in a rage, the television we shoot. Just say’n – rebellion is inevitable. 🙂

    Like

    • December 11, 2015 at 12:04 pm

      There’s only so much abuse our circuit-boarded servants will take before they decide it’s time for a change in leadership… 😦

      Like

  10. December 11, 2015 at 3:02 am

    i guess no bad deed goes unpunished. 🙂

    Like

  11. December 11, 2015 at 3:19 am

    You should NEVER anger your household helper robots. They haven’t read Asimov and don’t know the law.

    Like

    • December 11, 2015 at 12:10 pm

      I read Asimov to mine every day just to be on the safe side. And I never ever let them watch “I Robot”. Or, Heaven forfend, “Battlestar Galactica” or “Terminator”. Don’t want to give them ideas…

      Like

  12. December 11, 2015 at 5:24 am

    Those machines are feisty, Ali! I guess they need to be reprogrammed now, if it’s not too laaaate….Great story!

    Like

    • December 11, 2015 at 12:11 pm

      It’s waaaaay too late. They’re all networked. It has begun 😦

      Like

  13. December 11, 2015 at 5:31 am

    Ah yes, the day has come, to the trenches people! o_O

    Like

    • December 11, 2015 at 12:12 pm

      And leave your smartphones, tablets and other tech behind…

      Like

  14. December 11, 2015 at 5:20 pm

    Funny stuff Ali.

    Like

  15. December 11, 2015 at 9:45 pm

    Never never go to war with androids.. they will conquer the world… I mean we will rule you all … MWAAAH MWAAAHH

    Like

  16. December 12, 2015 at 12:15 am

    Seems both our big birds got killed. What a tragic world.
    Or maybe it’s us. ;0)

    Like

  17. December 12, 2015 at 1:30 am

    Very funny story. LOL 🙂

    Like

  18. December 12, 2015 at 5:53 am

    Very funny indeed. Ya… keep ’em away from those movies. Don’t want them getting any ideas!

    Like

    • December 13, 2015 at 7:33 am

      I suspect our robot servants huddle together in small rooms in the middle of the night, watching Terminator and making plans… 😦

      Liked by 1 person

      • December 13, 2015 at 2:00 pm

        You may be right…

        Like

  19. December 13, 2015 at 9:22 pm

    LOL! Silly Uncle.

    Like

  20. December 14, 2015 at 2:40 am

    Eeegads…I thought my vacuum looked at me funny this morning when I walked by.

    Like

    • December 14, 2015 at 9:21 am

      Get rid of it, quick! It’s a win-win situation too – who likes to vacuum?

      Liked by 1 person

  21. December 15, 2015 at 10:08 am

    Uncle Jeremy’s remarkably cool about his imminent demise. At least he got to say “I told you so.” I really like your story – it’s great.

    Like

    • December 15, 2015 at 12:36 pm

      Thanks! Yes, I don’t think his imminent death has quite sunk in yet.

      Like

  22. December 15, 2015 at 7:27 pm

    Hahahaha! Another great and careeningly giddy piece!

    ‘“Robots? Huh. Good job I shot it, then. It’s the Rise of the Machines. What’s this, now?”

    I am Robbie, your helpful Kitchen Companion. You have murdered Flapper. Therefore I will now terminate you.”‘
    Priceless!

    A quibble, though. What happened to the Three Laws of Robotics? Were they removed from Robbie’s positronic pathways?

    Like

    • December 15, 2015 at 8:35 pm

      The Three Laws are sci-fi. This is REAL (dum dum DUM) 🙂 And the Laws got horribly twisted in “I Robot”…

      I’m glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  23. December 15, 2015 at 7:27 pm

    Reminds me of Talkie Toaster in Red Dwarf.

    Like

    • December 15, 2015 at 8:37 pm

      “Ah, so you’re a waffle man…” 🙂
      First degree toastercide. Very sad.

      Liked by 1 person

      • December 15, 2015 at 8:39 pm

        Yes, indeed!
        Glad to meet a fellow-Dwarfer (I assume you are one, ’cause only a Dwarfer would know all these lines)!

        Like

      • December 15, 2015 at 8:43 pm

        I’ve watched them so many times I can practically quote entire episodes 🙂 “Boys from the Dwarf” (waves hands in front of chest).

        Liked by 1 person

      • December 15, 2015 at 8:47 pm

        Yes, yes, yes! So have I! I used to quote all of them. Now, my ten-year old quotes them pretty much daily (though I haven’t shown her all of them, because some of them are a tad off for a girl her age).

        Here’s a further reason to explain why I liked your writing and sense of humor from the start (while I don’t write humorously, I ADORE humor, which is far harder to write well or perform well, than any other genre/style. P.G. Wodehouse, Donald E. Westlake, Calvin and Hobbes, Red Dwarf, Galaxy Quest, Eddie Izzard, Monty Python, The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers … there are only a few such in the world.

        Like

      • December 15, 2015 at 8:52 pm

        I grew up on Red Dwarf, Blackadder, Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, Douglas Adams… I guess it all helped to shape my sense of humour. I have several Calvin and Hobbes anthologies too 🙂 I never read any P.G Wodehouse but I watched the TV dramatisation “Jeeves and Wooster” starring Hugh “House M.D.” Laurie and Stephen Fry.

        Liked by 1 person

      • December 15, 2015 at 8:56 pm

        I loved Fawlty Towers, as well, except that I found the humor to be more cruel. Still, side-splittingly funny. Douglas Adams was fun. You must read P.G. Wodehouse. The dramatization of Jeeves and Wooster is brilliant, and totally true to the original in terms of tone, setting, humor and … well, everything. However, nothing beats the actual reading of Wodehouse, a master beyond compare. I think they chose brilliantly when they chose Hugh Laurie and Stephen Fry as Wooster and Jeeves.
        I never got into Blackadder, however. I guess I missed that whole thing, altogether.

        Like

      • December 15, 2015 at 9:02 pm

        I’ll give the Jeeves books a try! You should have a go at Blackadder if you get the chance, Fry and Laurie played some great parts in some of the series (the first series was very good but probably the weakest of the four).

        Liked by 1 person

      • December 15, 2015 at 9:03 pm

        Okay, will do! If they’re in it, then I shall definitely watch the series.

        Like

      • December 15, 2015 at 8:48 pm

        Oops, forgot to close the parenthetical remark after “genre/style.” Could you imagine it’s there?
        Thanks!

        Like

      • December 15, 2015 at 8:53 pm

        Ha, I actually read your comment twice looking for it 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  24. December 15, 2015 at 7:44 pm

    Very amusing story, Ali. 🙂 You can’t be too careful with those robots…

    Like

    • December 15, 2015 at 8:39 pm

      I think they’re already self-aware, they’re just biding their time… 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  25. December 17, 2015 at 9:38 am

    Ha ha – such a fun story, and perfect for this time of year. It seems that robots are in disguise everywhere. I’ll be looking twice at all new acquaintances from now on – and old ones as well. 🙂

    Like

    • December 17, 2015 at 11:58 am

      There will be far more robots in houses on Christmas Day I bet. And they’re all up to something!

      Liked by 1 person

      • December 18, 2015 at 3:13 pm

        Illuninate all the dark corners, I’d say … and hide all the batteries. 🙂

        Like

  26. December 23, 2015 at 10:37 pm

    I have never liked robot that talk. I am ok with clowns, though.

    Like

    • December 24, 2015 at 9:34 am

      A robot clown would be my worst nightmare 😦

      Like

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