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FF – Modern Art

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Ted Strutz.

To read the other stories, click on the blue froggy.

Copyright Ted Strutz

Copyright Ted Strutz

 

“Jeez, mate, what the Hell is that? What a mess!”

Pedro looked the passer-by straight in the eyes. “It’s new, it’s bold, it’s modern, it’s art!”

“Yeah… it’s not though, is it? It’s crap and you’re a hack.”

“Hmm, maybe it could use a little extra something…” mused Pedro, eyes flashing angrily. “Wait right here.”

For days the artwork “Man With Head Smashed In By Sledgehammer Next To Toilet Of Flowers” took the art world by storm. That is, until the sun came out and the “beautifully detailed figure” (Modern Sculpture Magazine), the “utterly lifelike mannequin” (Art Today), started to stink.

 

  1. March 23, 2016 at 10:01 pm

    Dear Ali,

    A little two lifelike, I presume. The ending made me choke and gag a little. Well done, you warped man.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

    • March 24, 2016 at 8:00 am

      Dear Rochelle,
      Thanks :-). The ending still makes me feel a bit “ick”, but two weeks in a row now I’ve had an idea but no ending and “going dark” always supplies me with something…
      Ali

      Like

  2. March 23, 2016 at 10:49 pm

    Oh, DO NOT cross Pedro. And I love the name of the sculpture.

    Like

    • March 24, 2016 at 8:01 am

      It’s all in the name when it comes to modern art!

      Like

  3. March 23, 2016 at 11:24 pm

    Gross!!

    Like

  4. March 23, 2016 at 11:39 pm

    Wait. You’ll see this in a museum near you. Yesterday and today’s too weird to be real is tomorrow’s darling of the critics! You and Pedro are just men ahead of your time.

    Like

    • March 24, 2016 at 8:01 am

      We could make millions (from our jail cell).

      Like

  5. March 24, 2016 at 1:47 am

    Hahahaha! Fabulous art until it starts stinking! LOL!

    Like

  6. March 24, 2016 at 2:38 am

    Give it a title and anything can be art… blech! 😉

    Like

    • March 24, 2016 at 8:03 am

      Yep. Paint a whole canvas red and call it “The Angry Man” and it’ll sell! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • March 24, 2016 at 11:08 am

        Crazy… And so true!

        Like

  7. March 24, 2016 at 3:25 am

    Eew Vivid details in this one.

    Like

    • March 24, 2016 at 8:03 am

      Yeah. Made me feel a bit sick thinking about it. Thought I’d just click “publish” and move on to happier things… 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  8. March 24, 2016 at 3:32 am

    Remind me to never criticize Pedro’s art! 🙂

    Like

    • March 24, 2016 at 8:04 am

      Very wise. Though you could end up immortalised 🙂

      Like

  9. March 24, 2016 at 7:45 am

    Is Modern Art married to Thoroughly Modern Millie?? 😕 🙂

    Like

    • March 24, 2016 at 8:05 am

      Lucky chap if he is. Julie Andrews… 🙂

      Like

  10. March 24, 2016 at 10:48 am

    Oh my God!
    Safe to say he doesn’t take critism too well. In Nigeria when someone says wait till I come back under such circumstances you take off unless you KNOW you can beat em.
    XD

    Like

    • March 24, 2016 at 2:04 pm

      Yeah, I’m surprised he stuck around! I guess he was wondering what the addition would be, little realising…

      Liked by 1 person

  11. March 24, 2016 at 11:21 am

    Ew…ew…ew…Ali. You’ve gone all dark and messy on us again. Between this and Game of Thrones episodes, they’re finally showing on TV here, my memory is getting overloaded with horror scenes. O_o The writing is good, though. 🙂 — Suzanne

    Like

    • March 24, 2016 at 2:05 pm

      It’s been all darkness and gruesome overload lately! Go read my “sunbeams and kittens” Limerick again 🙂

      Like

  12. March 24, 2016 at 1:01 pm

    No one likes a critic. 🙂

    Like

    • March 24, 2016 at 2:05 pm

      Very true. Overreaction? Maybe 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • March 24, 2016 at 2:13 pm

        Maybe. But I think there’s room for debate on that. 🙂

        Like

      • March 24, 2016 at 2:29 pm

        🙂

        Like

  13. March 24, 2016 at 1:05 pm

    Dark and truly disgusting (ugh, just the thought), but done well

    Like

    • March 24, 2016 at 2:06 pm

      It was pretty vomit-inducing!
      Thanks 🙂

      Like

  14. March 24, 2016 at 1:34 pm

    Ouuu, that was good… disgusting, but good! Great Job! I plunge the flush to you!

    Like

  15. March 24, 2016 at 1:38 pm

    is it art or is it a crime?

    Like

    • March 24, 2016 at 2:06 pm

      Art. Definitely art. And also a crime 🙂

      Like

  16. March 24, 2016 at 6:59 pm

    Suffering brings out the best in any artist. I guess it doesn’t technically have to be the artist who suffers, though!

    Like

    • March 25, 2016 at 11:25 am

      Anyone’s suffering makes it art!

      Like

  17. March 24, 2016 at 7:51 pm

    So funny! Everything you write is brilliant!

    Like

  18. March 24, 2016 at 9:21 pm

    he must be a real artist at heart. he could even turn a critic into art. 🙂

    Like

  19. March 24, 2016 at 11:51 pm

    ha ha. He could always say the “smell” is part of the art experience. Nicely done gruesome story.

    Like

    • March 25, 2016 at 11:26 am

      It the full experience 🙂 I’m glad you liked it!

      Like

  20. March 25, 2016 at 12:01 am

    after my daily look at the news and a check of my emails it is a delight to read your stories. I have a childish distaste re mean literary critics. My good friend had a nasty review once (plus many good reviews) and I felt VERY cross. ❤

    Like

  21. March 25, 2016 at 3:21 am

    The name of the sculpture…the quotes from art magazines…the bald honesty of the hapless observer…hysterical!!!

    Like

    • March 25, 2016 at 11:27 am

      Thanks! I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂

      Like

  22. Lyn
    March 25, 2016 at 9:38 am

    LOL now that’s the D-man we’ve come to know and love so well 😀

    Like

    • March 25, 2016 at 11:27 am

      Dark and gruesome 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Lyn
        March 25, 2016 at 12:04 pm

        with a touch of marshmallow inside 😉

        Like

  23. March 26, 2016 at 4:13 am

    I love the quotes at the end. Hey, I’ve seen worse things pass as art…well, maybe not worse. But some of it, it makes you wonder what qualifies something as art. Your piece captured this well!

    Like

    • March 26, 2016 at 11:22 am

      You just need someone to think the artist it trying to say something deep and then it’s art! Everyone else goes along with it because they don’t want to be the only one to admit it’s just a toilet full of flowers 🙂
      I’m glad you enjoyed it!

      Liked by 1 person

  24. March 26, 2016 at 9:31 am

    Wow, you killed it! lol

    Like

  25. March 26, 2016 at 10:01 am

    Gruesome. But still better than an unmade bed…

    Like

  26. March 26, 2016 at 4:55 pm

    I enjoyed your story very much. It also shows how normal it can appear for art to be so outlandish and somewhat gruesome in nature.

    Like

    • March 27, 2016 at 5:46 am

      Thanks! It seems that in the modern world landscapes are out and the weird and gruesome is in.

      Like

  27. March 26, 2016 at 9:32 pm

    Something must be wrong with me because I started cackling from title to end, and still am silently laughing about your gruesome piece. I think it’s wonderful.

    Like

    • March 27, 2016 at 5:48 am

      I’m glad you liked it! It was quite a light-hearted look at modern “art”, I also had a bit of a chuckle 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  28. March 27, 2016 at 10:41 pm

    HAHAHA! I’m laughing out loud, my neighbors might think I’m insane. Geez. I enjoyed this very much. 😀

    Like

    • March 28, 2016 at 8:08 am

      Hee, I’m glad you liked it! 🙂

      Like

  29. Adam Ickes
    March 27, 2016 at 11:45 pm

    Note to self: never comment on bad art if you don’t want your head smashed in with a sledgehammer. Artists are a touchy lot.

    Like

    • March 28, 2016 at 8:10 am

      They’re not so good at taking criticism, but you’ve got to admire their ingenuity!

      Liked by 1 person

  30. March 28, 2016 at 10:40 pm

    Pedro’s not a man to take criticism, evidently. And to say he has a short fuse would be putting it mildly. Best not to leave any sledgehammers lying around in his vicinity, perhaps,

    Like

    • March 29, 2016 at 7:07 am

      No, he’s a bit of a psycho. Or since he’s an artist, is that “eccentric”? 🙂

      Like

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