Home > Fiction > FF – First Contact

FF – First Contact

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers hosted by Rochelle. Today’s photo was contributed by C.E. Ayr.

I saw a spaceship. Did anyone else see a spaceship?

To read this week’s other stories, click on the blue froggy.

 

The cooling stardrive glowed bright blue as the Zorkan mothership descended to Earth. It dropped majestically, nestling at last next to the river, a stream of blood flowing from its underbelly as some 120 people were inadvertently crushed beneath. A blisteringly loud voice boomed a message of hope…

“We come in peace!”

… rupturing 940 eardrums and resulting in seven million broken windows and 320 fatal car accidents.

Realising the harm it had caused the ship departed, its flaming take-off rockets accidentally incinerating 9,325 citizens. Most horrifying of all were the pamphlets they dropped upon leaving:

Sorry about that. We’ll be back :-).”

 

  1. May 11, 2016 at 7:17 pm

    Haha, love the last line and I don’t think anyone will read those flyers. 😀

    Like

  2. May 11, 2016 at 7:24 pm

    I like this! The way you increase the casualty list at every step of the way works really well.

    Like

    • May 12, 2016 at 6:50 am

      Thanks! I feel a bit sorry for the poor peaceful aliens. They only wanted to say hi 🙂

      Like

  3. May 11, 2016 at 7:40 pm

    So much for intelligent life forms! Very funny. 🙂

    Like

    • May 12, 2016 at 6:51 am

      Guess they’re just like us really. Mistakes happen! I’m glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. May 11, 2016 at 7:59 pm

    This is why our space probes have never found life on other planets…. we managed to kill it all in the landing process.

    I can totally see this happening to a certain possum as well…

    Like

    • May 12, 2016 at 6:52 am

      If only our probes had sent back some photos before the carnage.
      I’m afraid Buster was at ground zero during this story 😦

      Like

  5. May 11, 2016 at 8:30 pm

    Next comes the Vogon constructor fleet and the poetry chair?

    Like

    • May 12, 2016 at 6:53 am

      I quick dose of Vogon poetry will have the citizens of Earth begging for demolition!

      Like

  6. May 11, 2016 at 8:39 pm

    Very funny 😉

    Like

  7. May 11, 2016 at 9:11 pm

    Hahaha! Boy, that was a major fail on their part. Wonderful story! I loved it. 😀

    Like

    • May 12, 2016 at 6:54 am

      Yes, they definitely should have looked where they were going! I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  8. May 11, 2016 at 9:39 pm

    Oh my. Sorry just doesn’t seem to cut it in this instance. lol

    Like

    • May 12, 2016 at 6:54 am

      No, but it’s probably for the best that they didn’t try to fix things. Who knows what could have happened!

      Liked by 1 person

  9. May 11, 2016 at 9:47 pm

    The government will tell everyone is was a mass hallucination caused by weather balloons.

    Like

    • May 12, 2016 at 6:55 am

      It was, wasn’t it? That’s what the paper said this morning…

      Like

  10. Mike
    May 11, 2016 at 10:12 pm

    They must have stolen that ship to make such a hash of landing it. Liked your sci fi vision.

    Like

    • May 12, 2016 at 6:55 am

      Certainly they never read the manual. I’m glad you liked it!

      Like

  11. May 11, 2016 at 11:08 pm

    This is horrifying! Why do I want to laugh? Hahahahaha!

    Like

    • May 12, 2016 at 6:58 am

      Fortunately since it’s just a story it’s okay to laugh 🙂

      Like

  12. May 11, 2016 at 11:51 pm

    I did indeed see a spaceship. This is the Independence Day sequel we deserve! Fantastic as always. 😀

    Like

    • May 12, 2016 at 6:59 am

      Thanks! I can’t believe this isn’t a film already. “Independence Day II – The Accidental Invasion”.

      Liked by 1 person

      • May 12, 2016 at 7:49 am

        Yeah, it would be great. I am not sure what to make of the sequel we are getting this year… hopefully good?

        Like

      • May 12, 2016 at 7:55 am

        Oh yeah, I forgot about that! Fingers crossed…

        Liked by 1 person

  13. May 12, 2016 at 12:30 am

    “the road to hell is paved with good intentions!”
    Imagine the havoc they would have caused if they hadn’t come in peace?
    LOL! I will be smiling at this all day. 😀

    Like

    • May 12, 2016 at 6:59 am

      If they’d actually attacked I doubt they could have done any more damage! I’m glad you liked it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  14. May 12, 2016 at 1:47 am

    Seriously… why would all spaceships land in the middle of nowhere? Why wouldn’t they plop down without looking where they’re landing?
    This was hilarious, Alistair!

    Like

    • May 12, 2016 at 7:01 am

      Yeah, all these aliens have missed a trick. By the time they’ve trekked from the middle of the corn field and found “civilisation” they’re too tired and fed up to make contact.
      I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  15. May 12, 2016 at 2:07 am

    Hahahah…. Too good Ali… You had me in splits!

    Like

  16. May 12, 2016 at 2:18 am

    Hilarious!!! Hahahaha! I love your dark humor, Ali. Those aliens are innocently disastrous, I guess. Great story. XD

    Like

    • May 12, 2016 at 7:03 am

      Everyone always assumes aliens know exactly what they’re doing, but in reality they’re just bumbling through life like the rest of us 🙂
      I’m glad you enjoyed it!

      Like

  17. Lata Sunil
    May 12, 2016 at 3:37 am

    hahahah.. So funny.. the whole story.. and the last line.. ‘Sorry, will be back’ too good.

    Like

  18. mickwynn2013
    May 12, 2016 at 7:28 am

    Incompetent aliens. Love it

    Like

    • May 12, 2016 at 7:32 am

      I reckon incompetent aliens is more true to life. Surely humans can’t be the only incompetent life forms in the universe 🙂
      I’m glad you liked it!

      Like

  19. May 12, 2016 at 9:43 am

    Haha, that last line! I really enjoyed this story! 🙂

    Like

    • May 12, 2016 at 12:06 pm

      I’m glad you liked it! I bet everyone can’t wait for them to come back 🙂

      Like

  20. May 12, 2016 at 10:11 am

    Hilarious story, Ali! I love your incompetent aliens. 🙂 They really need to be more careful when they return!

    Like

    • May 12, 2016 at 12:07 pm

      Hopefully next time they’ll use an amphibious craft and land somewhere off the coast. I’m glad you liked it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  21. May 12, 2016 at 11:40 am

    Talk about collateral damage. No one will be glad to see them come back. I thought it looked like both a flying saucer and a restaurant so combined the two. Dark but hilarious, Ali. 😀 — Suzanne

    Like

    • May 12, 2016 at 12:08 pm

      With any luck it will be a long time while they rethink their landing strategy 🙂
      I just read your story – fun!

      Like

  22. May 12, 2016 at 12:15 pm

    It’s not often that I chuckle so long and heartily over a stream of blood coming out from under a spaceship. This is hilarious. Next time they come with an upgraded space ship, one that has parking cameras. 😉

    Like

    • May 12, 2016 at 12:19 pm

      Now I have an image of them staring at the camera and peering out the windows yelling instructions to the pilot as the ship jinks around left and right, up and down 🙂
      I’m glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  23. May 12, 2016 at 1:45 pm

    Oh dear!
    Very silly lot, enjoyed this very much.

    Like

  24. May 12, 2016 at 3:19 pm

    Ha ha. not a particularly good ‘first contact’, I’d say. If the ‘aliens’ come in peace, perhaps they should try landing in the middle of Antarctica next time (or the Sahara if they’re heat-loving beings). Excellent story!

    Like

    • May 12, 2016 at 7:55 pm

      But… there are very few people in Antarctica and the Sahara and they just wanted to make lots of new friends 🙂

      Like

      • May 12, 2016 at 8:45 pm

        Yes, I see that… Well then, they’ll just have to find a safer mode of transport – preferably one with a well tested ‘touch down’ mechanism that doesn’t annihilate the entire population. I’m sure they’re clever enough to do that. 🙂

        Like

      • May 13, 2016 at 7:35 am

        We can only hope 🙂

        Like

  25. May 12, 2016 at 3:21 pm

    Love this! I don’t know who to feel sorry for the aliens or the humans?

    Like

    • May 12, 2016 at 7:58 pm

      I feel sorry for the aliens. The poor guys were only trying to be friendly 🙂
      I’m glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  26. May 12, 2016 at 6:50 pm

    Giving us much what we probably deserve. Grim humor, I loved this.

    Like

    • May 12, 2016 at 8:00 pm

      Maybe it’s the kick in the behind we all need. I’m glad you enjoyed it!

      Liked by 1 person

  27. May 12, 2016 at 9:06 pm

    sometimes good intentions go bad. at least, they said they’re sorry. 🙂

    Like

    • May 13, 2016 at 7:36 am

      Yes, at least they’re polite! I hope we don’t nuke them when they come back.

      Liked by 1 person

  28. Lyn
    May 12, 2016 at 11:04 pm

    LOL D-Man at his very best. Love this 🙂

    Like

  29. May 13, 2016 at 3:19 am
    • May 13, 2016 at 7:36 am

      Fear the aliens, for they are incompetent 🙂

      Like

  30. May 13, 2016 at 6:08 am

    A great take on the prompt… Very different from the usual idea which comes to the mind on reading ‘spaceship’
    Well done !

    Like

    • May 13, 2016 at 7:37 am

      Thanks! Not all aliens come to invade (though there was little difference to the death toll in this case!).

      Liked by 1 person

      • May 13, 2016 at 9:25 am

        Well, invasion was not my first thought..it could have been anything really, except this story. What I liked was how the overlooked or rather insignificant part of landing formed a central part of the tale. 🙂

        Like

      • May 13, 2016 at 9:55 am

        I’ve noticed on TV that when there’s an alien spaceship arriving there’s never any collateral damage from the actual landing!

        Liked by 1 person

      • May 13, 2016 at 10:34 am

        Indeed. People running away, yes. Loss of lives, no.
        Well observed and incorporated 🙂

        Like

  31. May 13, 2016 at 1:35 pm

    ha ha. This is too funny. The irony of the whole situation – each description of an innocent alien act causing destruction- too good!

    Killer last line. Good intentions sometimes have unintended consequences.

    Like

    • May 13, 2016 at 3:26 pm

      I’m glad you liked it 🙂
      Those aliens did have the best of intentions, but their delivery could use some work!

      Liked by 1 person

  32. May 13, 2016 at 4:06 pm

    I’m sure their intentions were good, but, uhm, yeah, perhaps the execution was a little off…

    Like

  33. May 13, 2016 at 4:15 pm

    I saw the spaceship as well. However, the one person who says he believed in them, thought the phone call announcing their arrival was a joke.

    Like

    • May 14, 2016 at 5:09 am

      Isn’t that always the way? 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • May 14, 2016 at 11:12 am

        It’s just like the “call me if you need something” offer. They won’t answer when you call.😉

        Like

  34. May 13, 2016 at 4:16 pm

    I did like the we come in peace part

    Like

    • May 14, 2016 at 5:10 am

      Maybe it should have been “We come in incompetence”!

      Liked by 1 person

      • May 14, 2016 at 11:14 am

        Whoa, did I miss that this was us visiting another civilization? I could somehow see a reality show about us visiting another world and the staging going bad….I mean the reality stars would have to face a sudden turn in the plot.

        Like

      • May 14, 2016 at 3:01 pm

        I was thinking aliens visiting us, but if it were us visiting aliens the sheer incompetence would make sense 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • May 14, 2016 at 3:10 pm

        If the US government had a secret program to develop it….yes it would. 😎

        Like

      • May 14, 2016 at 3:12 pm

        🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  35. May 13, 2016 at 6:27 pm

    Oh, dear, too bad we don’t have a way to tell them to just stay home!

    I love that their homeland is Zork! That’s the name of a vintage computer game that Sheldon likes to play on “The Big Bang Theory.” (Do you get that TV show on your side of the pond?)

    Like

    • May 14, 2016 at 5:12 am

      Sadly our communication systems are incompatible!
      I hadn’t made that connection though I’ve seen many series of the Big Bang Theory. We get most American TV programmes here, and usually on one of the terrestrial channels before it hits DVD/Netflix/Amazon streaming.

      Liked by 1 person

  36. May 13, 2016 at 9:58 pm

    Cute story. Glad to know the aliens have best intentions.

    Like

    • May 14, 2016 at 5:12 am

      Yeah, it’s the thought that counts!

      Like

  37. May 14, 2016 at 6:19 pm

    MOL 😀 I wonder where they came from… 😀 Pawkisses for a Blessed Pentecost Weekend 🙂 ❤

    Like

    • May 15, 2016 at 5:16 am

      I don’t know but hopefully they’re on their way back there to make some better plans for the next time 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  38. May 15, 2016 at 4:01 am

    Oh ho ho!
    Irony to the core!
    What a great example of an oxymoron!

    Like

    • May 15, 2016 at 5:21 am

      Yes, imagine being so intelligent but not having the sense they were born with!

      Liked by 1 person

  39. May 15, 2016 at 11:44 pm

    I believe they are an accident that found a place to happen. With peace like that….consider what enemies would be like!

    Like

    • May 16, 2016 at 7:18 am

      That’s a good way to describe them!

      Like

  40. May 16, 2016 at 8:06 am

    Well, at least they had good intentions! You can’t fault them for that. I did see a spaceship. Such a funny story, Ali.

    Like

    • May 16, 2016 at 8:07 am

      Yes, they’re a friendly though inept bunch 🙂

      Like

  41. May 16, 2016 at 11:53 am

    Dear Ali,

    At least they apologized. Sometimes those aliens can be so insensitive. I hope that when they come back they’ll send a warning note first. Once more your warped storytelling has given me something to laugh about. Thank you.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

    • May 16, 2016 at 12:41 pm

      Dear Rochelle,
      Yes, they’re very polite if nothing else. I like that – “warped storytelling” 🙂
      Ali

      Liked by 1 person

  42. May 17, 2016 at 11:01 am

    Hilarious. This is such a clever story. I hope we’re ready for them when they come back – maybe a few well placed missiles would be in order.

    Like

    • May 17, 2016 at 11:43 am

      But… they’re friendly! They didn’t mean to accidentally slaughter half a city 🙂
      Maybe if we built them a landing pad way out in the desert…

      Liked by 1 person

  43. May 17, 2016 at 4:40 pm

    😁😂😅😄 You are such a creative silly writer.

    Like

  44. May 17, 2016 at 7:56 pm

    Excellent story! Are you channeling Douglas Adams or Sir Terry Pratchett? Or both. Or neither. Or maybe you were their creative conduit, back in the day? 🙂

    Like

    • May 18, 2016 at 7:06 am

      Probably both! I started trying to write a novel (I’ve managed a page and a half in 6 months heh heh) and it’s very both of them 🙂

      Like

      • May 18, 2016 at 5:02 pm

        Just sit down and let the eggs burn — and write! No gaming! 😉

        Like

      • May 18, 2016 at 7:42 pm

        No gaming? Waaaaa 😦

        Like

      • May 19, 2016 at 2:33 pm

        Unless you write a gaming-based novel or nonfiction manual . . .

        Like

  45. May 18, 2016 at 6:00 am

    I was laughing out loud when I read this! You are a master of satire and of the tongue-in-cheek story. Brilliant story!

    Like

  46. May 18, 2016 at 9:14 am

    I had not thought of the damage a UFO might cause if it were big enough and landed in the wrong spot. Very nice story.

    Like

    • May 18, 2016 at 11:40 am

      This is often glossed over in the films – it’s all about aliens attacking. No-one ever considers the sheer size and weight of a spaceship landing in the middle of a town 🙂
      I’m glad you enjoyed it!

      Like

  47. May 22, 2016 at 4:06 pm

    It is sad to know that even invading peacekeepers will bring death as they pronounce peace. Loved your take on the prompt!!

    Like

    • May 22, 2016 at 5:21 pm

      I only hope we can forgive them and that they’re a bit more careful next trip!

      Liked by 1 person

  48. May 25, 2016 at 5:04 pm

    Oops! 🙂 I feel like that’s what would happen were we to finally discover another planet with life on it.

    Like

  1. May 18, 2016 at 3:08 pm

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