Home > Fiction > FF – A Night in the Trailer

FF – A Night in the Trailer

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, the 100 word challenge hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo comes from Jan Wayne Fields.

To read this week’s other stories, click on the blue froggy.

 

“Morning, Dear!”

“Morning, Love! Um… didn’t we used to have a car?”

“After last year’s camping trip, I arranged with my friends to drive it back home overnight. This is real camping. No phones…”

“Whaaat?”

“… no car, just us and Nature. Ah, the smell of the woods, the sound of the… bears?”

“Yeek! We’ve no car! No car!”

“Don’t panic, Dear. Squeeze into the trailer!”

“It’s tiny!”

Much, much later…

“Do you think they’ve gone, Dear?”

“Do you wanna poke your head out and check, Mr Nature?”

“Not really. Let’s make the best of it. Marshmallow?”

Frosty silence.

 

  1. November 30, 2016 at 7:36 pm

    Loved the use of dialogue here. Humorous and fast-paced. Almost like reading a screenplay or watching a movie 🙂

    Like

  2. November 30, 2016 at 7:59 pm

    Fun read… hope they reach home safe and sound. I liked the form of the post, especially the use of ‘much, much later…’. You never disappoint👏😀

    Like

    • December 1, 2016 at 10:42 am

      Thanks 🙂
      I hope they reach home safely too. I’m sure the bears will give up and go away!

      Like

  3. November 30, 2016 at 8:00 pm

    I love nature. I hate camping unless it’s in a cabin and there’s running water and screens. You just confirmed why I hate it. Bugs. Big hungry animals. And no toilets. Anyway, I could never convince Garry to go ANYWHERE without a full bathroom.

    Like

    • December 1, 2016 at 10:43 am

      I’m with you. We don’t have many hungry predators in this country but the lack of toilets would kill it for me 🙂

      Like

  4. November 30, 2016 at 8:03 pm

    Ha.. I think Marshmallows is a great cure against a hungry bear.

    Like

    • Lyn
      November 30, 2016 at 10:28 pm

      Of course they are Bjorn, you throw fiery molten marshmallows at them and they’ll run 😀

      Like

    • December 1, 2016 at 10:43 am

      Even bears love marshmallows 🙂

      Like

  5. November 30, 2016 at 8:18 pm

    I love these shorts that you post. Writing prompts are very difficult for me so I’m impressed

    Like

    • December 1, 2016 at 10:47 am

      I’m glad you’re enjoying them! Try your hand, you never know 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  6. November 30, 2016 at 8:31 pm

    Very funny. Always better to have a safe back up… And marshmallows 🙂

    Like

    • December 1, 2016 at 10:48 am

      A supply of marshmallows inside the safe backup is the ideal situation!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. November 30, 2016 at 8:48 pm

    I refuse to do my business behind a tree. 🙂

    Like

  8. michael1148humphris
    November 30, 2016 at 9:51 pm

    Frosty silence 🙂 I hope the bears have not dinned out 🙂

    Like

  9. November 30, 2016 at 10:23 pm

    Oh man… would he lose Brownie points with me for such a loser move…

    Like

  10. Lyn
    November 30, 2016 at 10:24 pm

    LOL this is so you 🙂

    Like

  11. November 30, 2016 at 10:48 pm

    hehehe I hope they got home safely! I went camping once and it was one time too many 😉

    Like

    • December 1, 2016 at 10:51 am

      I’ve never been on an overnight camp out. Hopefully never will 🙂

      Like

  12. December 1, 2016 at 1:03 am

    A delightful camping event experienced by many , I’m sure. Thanks.

    Like

    • December 1, 2016 at 10:52 am

      There’s nothing like getting back to nature 🙂

      Like

  13. December 1, 2016 at 1:41 am

    Hahahaha! Funny stuff, Ali. The timing on the dialogue, very concise and crisp.

    Five out of five calls of nature.

    Like

    • December 1, 2016 at 10:52 am

      Thanks, I’m glad you liked it! I find dialogue a lot easier than straight prose.

      Like

      • December 1, 2016 at 12:07 pm

        And that’s what you should stay with, really. Always go with your best pitch. I’m noticing some folks here going the dialogue way a little, which I like because I write primarily scripts, so that probably has been an influence. Again, good work!

        Like

      • December 2, 2016 at 12:42 pm

        Writing no-dialogue pieces can be quite a struggle for me sometimes.
        Thanks!

        Like

  14. December 1, 2016 at 2:37 am

    Dear Draliman,

    If she ever gets out of the trailer and back to civilization it’s a sure bet that he’ll be camping alone (and quite possibly sleeping alone) for for the foreseeable future.

    Yours,

    Doug

    Like

    • December 1, 2016 at 10:53 am

      Dear Doug,
      My thoughts exactly! And instead of sleeping on the sofa, he’ll be in a tent in the garden 🙂
      Ali

      Like

  15. December 1, 2016 at 7:20 am

    Camping. Let’s spend a couple of days living like our ancestors did a couple centuries ago! No, thank you…

    Like

    • December 1, 2016 at 10:54 am

      All the average camping trip requires to be really authentic is a dose of Black Death and a horde of barbarians appearing over the hill.

      Like

  16. December 1, 2016 at 10:36 am

    Dear Ali,

    I predict that this won’t go down in his memory as a good trip. But I have a hunch she’ll never let him forget it either. Good one.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

    • December 1, 2016 at 10:55 am

      Dear Rochelle,
      She’ll be living off this one for a while, I’m sure. He’ll be doing all the household chores till his hands fall off 🙂
      I’m glad you liked it!
      Ali

      Like

  17. December 1, 2016 at 2:46 pm

    Hahahaha! My response would have been, “Back to nature, my ASS,” LOL!

    Like

  18. December 1, 2016 at 4:54 pm

    Haha! Well, better the frosty silence than bear growls and screams!!

    Very cute story!

    Like

  19. December 1, 2016 at 8:05 pm

    i think having a sense of humor can save the day. 🙂

    Like

    • December 2, 2016 at 12:43 pm

      For sure. It sounds like she’s failing to see the funny side, though 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  20. December 1, 2016 at 11:32 pm

    I have been on that camping trip!!!!!! but no marshmellows… we did have cheesies?

    Like

  21. December 2, 2016 at 3:57 am

    Love this especially how you used dialogue!

    Like

    • December 2, 2016 at 12:49 pm

      Thanks! I enjoy writing dialogue. I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂

      Like

  22. December 2, 2016 at 4:13 am

    REAL camping is overrated. 😛

    Like

    • December 2, 2016 at 12:50 pm

      Thankfully I’ve never been but from what I’ve seen, you’re right. I’m happy to walk out in nature during the day and relax in a warm bed at night 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • December 2, 2016 at 7:39 pm

        You’re lucky that nobody has ever ‘forced’ you to go camping! 😁
        I’m also happy to go for nature walks, as long as I can sleep in a warm bed at night.

        Like

      • December 3, 2016 at 5:17 pm

        🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  23. December 2, 2016 at 5:06 am

    Eerily fun story.

    Like

  24. December 2, 2016 at 1:54 pm

    Another very funny contribution from the one who knows how to make them. Well done, you’re certainly keeping up the standard.

    Like

    • December 2, 2016 at 1:59 pm

      Thanks, I’ve managed about four funny ones in a row now! I’m glad you liked it.

      Like

  25. December 2, 2016 at 2:50 pm

    Very funny and so well observed!

    Like

    • December 2, 2016 at 3:13 pm

      Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂

      Like

  26. December 2, 2016 at 5:20 pm

    Funny! Thank goodness that we didn’t have any bears to contend with these last few months…deer, on the other hand… and the occasional skunk, is another story.

    Like

    • December 3, 2016 at 5:17 pm

      Deer sound cool but I’m not so sure about the skunks 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • December 5, 2016 at 1:35 pm

        Aw, skunkies aren’t bad critters. They’re actually kind of cute… but then, I have no ability to smell, so maybe that helps.

        Like

      • December 5, 2016 at 4:06 pm

        The “smell” thing is the main reason for avoidance 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  27. December 3, 2016 at 7:37 am

    Funny stuff!

    Like

  28. December 3, 2016 at 11:28 am

    Very funny. And a an expert capture of the relationship between a camping zealot and someone of saner mentality.

    Like

    • December 3, 2016 at 5:18 pm

      Ha, “saner mentality”. I see your views of camping are the same as mine!

      Like

  29. December 3, 2016 at 4:53 pm

    Better no nature for us…MOL 😀 Pawkisses for a Happy Weekend 🙂 ❤

    Like

  30. December 3, 2016 at 5:23 pm

    Haha, the trailer is tiny indeed 🙂

    Like

    • December 3, 2016 at 5:26 pm

      Imagine two people spending the night in there, especially when one is somewhat upset with the other… 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  31. December 3, 2016 at 8:12 pm

    I love the interplay between these two. I hope they have a lot of marshmallows with them. 🙂

    Like

    • December 4, 2016 at 8:05 am

      I hope so too, they could be in there a while 🙂

      Like

  32. December 3, 2016 at 8:44 pm

    Hehe. No camping for me!

    Like

  33. December 4, 2016 at 12:17 am

    Heheh, good thing they had the trailer. But with the marshmallows in there, they’ll never get rid of the bears. Fun story.

    Like

    • December 4, 2016 at 8:10 am

      Everybody and everything loves marshmallows 🙂 The bears are probably queued up outside checking their watches and huffing, waiting for their treats.

      Like

  34. December 5, 2016 at 11:30 am

    Somehow, I don’t think she’s going to be going camping with him again any time soon! Great story with brilliant use of dialogue, Ali. You captured their relationship perfectly. 🙂

    Like

    • December 5, 2016 at 4:04 pm

      I think camping is well and truly off the agenda. I’m glad you liked it 🙂

      Like

    • December 5, 2016 at 4:04 pm

      I think camping is well and truly off the agenda. I’m glad you liked it 🙂

      Like

  35. December 5, 2016 at 12:13 pm

    There should be a warning hung around this guy’s neck. “Don’t go camping with this man”. I hope they make it back alive. Hilarious, Ali. Good writing 😀 — Suzanne

    Like

    • December 5, 2016 at 4:06 pm

      I expect one of them will make it back alive anyway 🙂

      Like

  36. December 5, 2016 at 1:43 pm

    Oh dear! This doesn’t sound like a harmonious camping trip!

    Like

    • December 5, 2016 at 4:07 pm

      Should’ve gone to that nice hotel on the Costa del wherever 🙂

      Like

  37. December 6, 2016 at 11:54 am

    Well done. I can see a few couples in these stories needing extensive counselling after returning from their camping trip…especially yours!
    My story is set in the Australian bush: https://beyondtheflow.wordpress.com/2016/12/03/the-virgin-campers-friday-fictioneers/
    xx Rowena

    Like

    • December 6, 2016 at 2:37 pm

      I think camping has to go really well for both to enjoy it, as one partner would usually prefer a beach-front hotel!
      I just read yours 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  38. pennydanger
    December 10, 2016 at 7:38 pm

    My camping experiences were never good. The last I recall was standing on a picnic table trying to keep the raccoons away with a plastic fork! Great write…I love nature but not that close.

    Like

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