Home > Fiction > FF – Induction

FF – Induction

Here is my post for the 100 word fiction challenge Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. The photo this week was supplied by Dale Rogerson.

A quick warning – I used the “f” word near the end as I felt it gave more impact to the story and served to emphasise the mood switch. Nothing else I tried had quite the same bite and I feel this guy would have said it.

To read this week’s other stories, click on the blue froggy!

Copyright Dale Rogerson

Copyright Dale Rogerson

 

Cowled figures shrouded in darkness, we await the acolyte. Candles in alcoves light the way to the sacred chamber. All is in readiness. Ceremonial knives are razor-sharp; the sacrifice bleats in terror, bowls ready to receive its blood.

Our origins lost in the mists of time, our members few yet powerful, today we welcome another into our fold.

Movement! He approaches!

“Excuse me, I’m looking for the toilets… um… bloody hell, is that a goat?”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, another one! Back the way you came, second door on the left.”

“Um… thanks.”

 

Ahem. Cowled figures shrouded in darkness, we await the acolyte…

 

  1. January 18, 2017 at 8:45 pm

    Hee hee, that undercut their ceremony a bit! Good one 🙂

    Like

    • January 19, 2017 at 8:00 am

      Isn’t it always the way? You go to all the effort, you’ve got the robes, the ambience, the goat…

      Liked by 2 people

  2. January 18, 2017 at 9:08 pm

    Hehe, very cute. It reminded me of Terry Pratchett’s humor. Great job.

    Like

    • January 19, 2017 at 8:00 am

      He’s my main inspiration, so thanks for the comparison!
      I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. January 18, 2017 at 9:10 pm

    That was fun

    Like

  4. January 18, 2017 at 9:21 pm

    Ha! Good one.

    Like

  5. January 18, 2017 at 10:15 pm

    Absolutely brilliant – especially ‘bloody hell, is that a goat?!

    Like

    • January 19, 2017 at 8:04 am

      I’m glad you liked it! I enjoyed imagining what the poor bloke was thinking when he walked in on their little ceremony 🙂

      Like

      • January 19, 2017 at 10:28 pm

        You never know who you’ll bump into in public conveniences I guess!

        Liked by 1 person

  6. January 18, 2017 at 10:23 pm

    Hilarious! They need a new meeting place! 😀

    Like

    • January 19, 2017 at 8:05 am

      But the meeting room at the local pub is both cheap and conveniently located!

      Liked by 1 person

      • January 19, 2017 at 4:06 pm

        As well as goat-friendly or unfriendly as the case may be 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  7. January 18, 2017 at 10:32 pm

    I LOVE this!!! It truly made me laugh out loud .

    “Oh, for fuck’s sake, another one!” “bloody hell, is that a goat?” “Ahem”

    I don’t think you could have done any better with your lines. Kudos!

    Like

    • January 19, 2017 at 8:06 am

      I’m glad you enjoyed it! I almost panicked and toned down the language but that would have compromised the story.
      🙂

      Like

  8. Graham Lawrence
    January 18, 2017 at 11:10 pm

    Lucky I put down my coffee before the last lines 🙂 Great story

    Like

    • January 19, 2017 at 8:06 am

      Spontaneous coffee spray is my goal. I’ll get you next time 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Graham Lawrence
        January 19, 2017 at 8:25 am

        Looking forward to that!

        Like

      • January 19, 2017 at 8:32 am

        🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  9. January 18, 2017 at 11:14 pm

    Hilarious! I love the sudden shift in mood. Great story!

    Like

    • January 19, 2017 at 8:09 am

      I’m glad you enjoyed it! The mood shift made me smile too 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  10. January 18, 2017 at 11:27 pm

    Love it! Kind of takes away the seriousness of the whole thing! You needed the f-bomb for sure!

    Like

    • January 19, 2017 at 8:10 am

      I thought so too. Anything else wouldn’t have had the same impact. I’m glad you enjoyed it, and thanks for the photo!

      Liked by 1 person

      • January 19, 2017 at 11:25 am

        Most welcome

        Like

  11. January 19, 2017 at 2:28 am

    Funny and macabre, Ali. Though I’d expect no less from your diabolical (in a good way) mind! 🙂

    Like

    • January 19, 2017 at 8:12 am

      I enjoy a good mixture of light and dark. I’m glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  12. January 19, 2017 at 3:52 am

    I used to work at the college radio station which everyone thought was the bathrooms. When it turned out otherwise, they would pee into the storm drain. It was a great little radio station, but smelly. I LOVE this one 🙂

    Like

    • January 19, 2017 at 8:17 am

      Hmm, sounds lovely 🙂 Maybe more signage was required.
      I’m glad you enjoyed my story!

      Like

  13. January 19, 2017 at 7:17 am

    For future reference, I’ve found that “Jeepers” is an excellent substitution for the “F” word.

    Like

  14. January 19, 2017 at 7:27 am

    OMG! The F word! You have scarred me for life now!

    Would it have killed them to put a sign on the door… “Live Sacrifices ONLY”?

    Liked by 2 people

    • January 19, 2017 at 8:19 am

      I’m sure it came as a terrible shock to you 🙂
      I expect they thought a sign would detract from the mysterious nature of their ceremony. More fool them!

      Like

  15. January 19, 2017 at 8:14 am

    Lol..Oops!

    Like

    • January 19, 2017 at 8:21 am

      It’s easy to get turned around down there… 🙂

      Like

      • January 19, 2017 at 8:21 am

        I was thinking he was lucky to get out lol

        Like

      • January 19, 2017 at 8:32 am

        They’ll do goats but draw the line at humans. They don’t make secret societies like they used to.

        Like

  16. January 19, 2017 at 11:28 am

    Dear Ali,

    Thank you for the warning in your intro. I’m sure there are some who might be offended. To those of us who weren’t it was perfect and added to the humor. A word fitly spoken given the circumstance.
    On a side note…in my first novel I use the term ‘bloody bastard’ that was suggested might be too strong for a particular religious audience. After wrestling with it, trying other ways of getting the message across, I decided there was no other way to say it.
    Sorry for being so verbose here. Good story. You made me laugh.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

    • January 19, 2017 at 12:42 pm

      Dear Rochelle,
      Yes, I thought maybe some people might be offended so wanted to make sure those people stopped at that point – although a commonly-used word these days, it is pretty strong and not one I use much, even less so in writing.
      However, like you I tried various alternatives and only this word put across the strength of his dismay and switched nicely from “dark and mysterious” to a humorous and almost farcical situation. I’m glad you thought the same, both in your novel and my story.
      Anyhoo, I’m glad you enjoyed my story 🙂
      Ali

      Like

  17. January 19, 2017 at 1:18 pm

    Ha, ha. Brilliant, Ali. Talk about finding yourself in the wrong place. This was great. 😀 — Suzanne

    Like

    • January 19, 2017 at 1:35 pm

      The poor chap had no idea what was going on! I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  18. January 19, 2017 at 1:54 pm

    Ha ha, that was great! The photo reminded me of some sacred halls where mysterious rituals would take place, too — and I love how you mixed it up with the poor chap just looking for the loo. Wrong turn!

    Like

    • January 19, 2017 at 2:22 pm

      I’m glad you liked it! My very first thought was of a hallway leading to some sort of ritual. Who knows where a wrong turn might take you…

      Liked by 1 person

  19. January 19, 2017 at 2:46 pm

    I’m so very proud of you for using the “f” word. 🙂
    Great story!

    Like

    • January 19, 2017 at 3:18 pm

      I thought you would be. I finally found the courage 🙂
      I’m glad you enjoyed my story!

      Liked by 1 person

  20. January 19, 2017 at 3:03 pm

    Hilarious… poor fellow. In India, I know of some villages where the brides are first shown a sacrificial goat’s head before they enter their new home. Great post Ali!

    Like

    • January 19, 2017 at 3:19 pm

      Interesting – I wonder what the background to that custom is?
      I’m glad you liked it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • January 19, 2017 at 3:20 pm

        It is mostly in the warrior clan… the belief is that it makes the bride brave! 😀😀😀.

        Like

      • January 19, 2017 at 3:26 pm

        I guess it’s be brave or run away screaming 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • January 19, 2017 at 3:41 pm

        Hahahaha

        Like

  21. January 19, 2017 at 6:03 pm

    Haha – you are SO good!

    Like

  22. January 19, 2017 at 7:52 pm

    I’m so desensitised to the f-word it’s not even funny. 😉
    That poor goat…please tell me it didn’t get hurt! Brilliant story.

    Like

    • January 20, 2017 at 8:15 am

      I don’t notice it much either, apart from those people who feel the need to inject it every second word or so.
      I think the goat probably ended up going back to the farm. The mood has been ruined 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  23. January 19, 2017 at 8:33 pm

    This is absolutely perfect. The mood switch definitely benefited from the f word

    Like

    • January 20, 2017 at 8:15 am

      Thanks, I thought so too. Nothing else I tried quite hit the spot!

      Like

  24. Lyn
    January 19, 2017 at 11:43 pm

    Nothing like someone searching for the loo to burst a serious ceremonial bubble. They really need to put a sign up pointing the way to the toilet. Love the narrator trying to rekindle the atmosphere 🙂

    Like

    • January 20, 2017 at 8:17 am

      Gents right, Ladies left, Acolytes straight ahead 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Lyn
        January 20, 2017 at 8:21 am

        Haa haa haa yes, of course 😀

        Liked by 1 person

  25. January 20, 2017 at 2:50 am

    Haha, yes, I suppose if you’re going to sacrifice a goat, you’re probably not squeamish about the “f” word! Love the humor combined with this grim ritual!

    Like

    • January 20, 2017 at 8:18 am

      It’s tough to be prim and proper when you’re covered in blood. I’m glad you liked it!

      Like

  26. January 20, 2017 at 2:53 am

    i was relieved it was just a goat. 🙂

    Like

    • January 20, 2017 at 8:19 am

      It could so easily have been a pile of people looking for the toilets…

      Liked by 1 person

  27. January 20, 2017 at 11:43 am

    Absolutely brilliant! Love it.

    Click here to read my tale!

    Like

    • January 20, 2017 at 1:53 pm

      Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂

      Like

  28. January 20, 2017 at 12:19 pm

    Brilliantly funny!

    Like

    • January 20, 2017 at 1:53 pm

      Thanks 🙂
      I’m glad you liked it!

      Like

  29. January 20, 2017 at 2:33 pm

    Perfect! Just the right ending. 🙂

    Like

    • January 20, 2017 at 4:03 pm

      Thanks, I’m glad you liked it 🙂

      Like

  30. January 20, 2017 at 6:39 pm

    Very funny – love it!

    Like

  31. January 20, 2017 at 9:01 pm

    ROFL. You did such a good job setting the mood…and breaking it. Having the narrator start over again with his “ahem” is just icing on the already hilarious cake 😂

    Like

    • January 22, 2017 at 7:59 am

      The poor guy is trying his best under very difficult circumstances 🙂
      I’m glad you enjoyed it!

      Like

  32. January 20, 2017 at 11:51 pm

    This was perfect fun. But that poor goat. Why can’t these people use their own blood?

    Like

    • January 22, 2017 at 8:00 am

      I get the feeling they’ll never actually get to the sacrifice – too many interruptions!
      I’m glad you liked it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  33. January 21, 2017 at 5:40 am

    Hahahahaha! That kind of did it in, as they say.

    Five out of five Tasmanian Goat F—s (as our drill sergeant used to call us in basic training).

    Like

    • January 22, 2017 at 8:03 am

      I think they should just give up and go down the pub 🙂

      Like

  34. January 21, 2017 at 10:29 am

    Excellent!

    Like

  35. January 22, 2017 at 10:15 am

    I hope no goats were injured in the writing of this story 😉
    I love the ‘is that a goat?’ part! Still smiling.

    Like

  36. January 22, 2017 at 7:10 pm

    A little jump back to normality for the cowled figures there! Cleverly done, and the language suits the situation well. 🙂

    Like

    • January 23, 2017 at 8:28 am

      Thanks, I’m glad you liked it! Maybe if they have a whip-round they’ll be able to afford a more secluded meeting place.

      Like

  37. January 23, 2017 at 5:06 pm

    Very, clever, very thoughtful. The innocent interloper is hilarious and I love the way the high priest or whatever he is suddenly loses all his pompous ceremonial speech.

    Like

    • January 24, 2017 at 7:50 am

      The high priest has finally had enough, poor guy. I’m glad you enjoyed it!

      Like

  38. January 24, 2017 at 8:58 am

    MOL…I thought it was getting more dangerous in the end, Draliman, especially when the goat appeared…MOL 😀 Pawkisses for the day 🙂 ❤

    Like

    • January 24, 2017 at 9:44 am

      Fortunately it doesn’t look like they’re going to get to the goat, with all the interruptions 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  39. January 24, 2017 at 11:48 pm

    Great story – I could see it as a TV sketch.

    Like

    • January 25, 2017 at 8:46 am

      Thanks! Yes, that would be cool 🙂

      Like

  40. January 25, 2017 at 12:23 am

    LOL

    Like

  41. January 25, 2017 at 4:17 am

    tsk tsk

    They really aren’t many good cults again.

    Like

    • January 25, 2017 at 8:47 am

      In my day, being in a cult really meant something…

      Like

  42. January 25, 2017 at 2:42 pm

    Wonderful, Ali. 🙂 I can imagine the conversation when that interloper finds his way back to his friends… “They even had a goat!”

    Like

    • January 26, 2017 at 8:28 am

      And of course then they’d have to go and take a look… 🙂

      Like

  43. January 31, 2017 at 2:51 pm

    Nothing like needing to use the toilet to shift attention to the ordinary. Nice story.

    Like

    • January 31, 2017 at 4:32 pm

      Nothing more prosaic than that. I’m glad you liked it!

      Like

  44. February 10, 2017 at 6:19 am

    Totally brilliant..I cherish this!!! It genuinely made me roar with laughter…

    Like

    • February 10, 2017 at 8:20 am

      I’m glad you liked it! It was fun to write, made me smile as well 🙂

      Like

  1. No trackbacks yet.

Speak to me - I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: