Home > Fiction > FF – Future Relationships

FF – Future Relationships

Here is my post for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s picture was contributed by Liz Young.

There’s been a lot of talk recently of the great strides in AI and robotics…

To read this week’s other stories, click on the blue froggy.

Copyright Liz Young

Copyright Liz Young

 

“Live, damn you, live! One-one-thousand, two-one-thousand…”

“What the hell are you doing?”

“Push the fluids! Another amp of epi! Charge to 360! Clear!”

“Stop! Um… she’s gone.”

“Gone? How do you know?”

“Firstly, her body is over here and her head is over there.”

“Can’t we just, you know, reattach it? With some glue?”

“Actually, yes. Because this is First Aid training and you just broke the Resusci Annie.”

“But she was so young! What have I done? Why, God, whhhhyyyyyyy…?”

“Hello, is that St Winifred’s Home for the Permanently Baffled? We have another one… mistaken Resusci Annie for his robotic girlfriend…”

 

  1. February 15, 2017 at 8:48 pm

    Mel Brooks called it the “Psycho-Neurotic Institute for the Very Very Nervous.” It was funny then and it’s still funny now 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • February 15, 2017 at 9:34 pm

      Love your comment! Though I’ve watched High Anxiety many times, I still cannot get through the Harvey-Korman-as-wolfman scene toward the beginning without passing out from laughing so hard.

      Like

    • February 16, 2017 at 8:11 am

      Ha! What film was that?
      (edit – I just read Leigh’s comment so now I know!)

      Like

  2. February 15, 2017 at 8:54 pm

    Lol… loved this one!

    Like

  3. February 15, 2017 at 9:10 pm

    Someone is a few fries short of a Happy Meal.

    Like

  4. February 15, 2017 at 9:17 pm

    Great fun. At least he is taking the first aid training seriously.

    Like

  5. February 15, 2017 at 9:27 pm

    Haha, I liked this. Fairly strong dialogue, but the story is held together by the decent concept. I’m enjoying trying to build up a back-story of where this event is taking place. You’ve just about got the two characters to be distinct enough, but then again, it’s a short piece so I think you’ve done pretty well.

    Like

    • February 16, 2017 at 8:13 am

      Thanks! I had to cut a few bits out to get the word count down, it could definitely have done with 40 or 50 extra words for it to make total sense but once I thought of it I was determined to stick with it. I’m glad it was close, given the word count!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. February 15, 2017 at 9:37 pm

    You could’ve gone totally dark on this one, Ali, but you didn’t. Very funny and captivating, even with that creepy picture! My husband has a Star Wars character ‘head’ (Micromachines? maybe) that he used to keep on shelving downstairs and I hated that damn thing. Something about partial fake people who look pretty realistic, I guess, though dolls (and robots) don’t creep me out in general.

    Like

    • February 16, 2017 at 8:15 am

      The more human a robot looks, the more creeped out I get. Though a Cylon would creep me out too and they’re not very human-like (the original ones and reboot drones, anyway).

      Liked by 1 person

  7. February 15, 2017 at 9:38 pm

    Ha, ha, it just occurred to me the Red Dwarf episodes about spare head (I think #1), where he’s crashed and puts an eyeball on the end of the hand which goes into Lister’s pants. More hilarity. Were you inspired by anything for this story?

    Like

    • February 16, 2017 at 8:16 am

      And the other Spare Head who has “droid rot”, the poor fellow.
      There wasn’t anything in particular which inspired me, though I do watch a load of medical dramas.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Lyn
    February 15, 2017 at 10:03 pm

    LOL now this is the D-Man we know and love 😀

    Like

  9. February 15, 2017 at 10:50 pm

    Too funny! St Winifred’s Home must be filled to capacity! 😀

    Like

    • February 16, 2017 at 8:17 am

      Yeah. I think I’ve used the St Winifred’s in at least one other story, too!

      Liked by 1 person

  10. February 15, 2017 at 10:52 pm

    Weird but funny!

    Like

    • February 16, 2017 at 8:18 am

      So weird it only barely makes sense 🙂
      I’m glad you liked it!

      Like

  11. February 15, 2017 at 11:24 pm

    Dear Ali,

    You are definitely among the most warped of my Friday Fictioneers. Love your sense of humor or should that be humour? 😉

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

    • February 16, 2017 at 8:19 am

      Dear Rochelle,
      Thanks (I think) 🙂
      “Humour” – I’m all about the u’s!
      Ali

      Liked by 2 people

      • February 16, 2017 at 11:11 am

        It was meant as a compliment.

        Like

      • February 17, 2017 at 8:14 am

        I know and took it as one! Sorry, I didn’t mean to give a different impression. “Warped” is good in my book when it comes to fiction 🙂

        Like

  12. Lata Sunil
    February 16, 2017 at 3:08 am

    Haha.. i re-read it. Its funny.

    Like

  13. February 16, 2017 at 6:06 am

    I am a little concerned over that gigantic crater where Annie’s nose should be. Just what was he doing to his poor, lifeless girlfriend!?!?

    Liked by 1 person

    • February 16, 2017 at 8:22 am

      Only you would think of that… okay, it crossed my mind as well 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  14. February 16, 2017 at 8:39 am

    Frenetically funny. Loved it.

    Like

    • February 17, 2017 at 8:12 am

      I’m glad! It didn’t quite made sense but made me smile 🙂

      Like

  15. February 16, 2017 at 10:58 am

    Completely different and a refreshing change from the dark and dismal tales elsewhere. Brilliant.

    Click to read my story!

    Like

    • February 17, 2017 at 8:13 am

      I thought it was too weird a scene to be all serious 🙂 I’m glad you enjoyed it!

      Like

  16. February 16, 2017 at 11:00 am

    A good chuckle on this one, The Home For The Permanently Bewildered will probably be next. 😀

    Like

    • February 17, 2017 at 8:13 am

      I’m glad you liked it! I think I could benefit from some time in the Bewildered Home 🙂

      Like

  17. February 16, 2017 at 1:26 pm

    Oh, that was too too hilarious! Sounds like a trick we used to play at the nursing home on ‘greenies’. Made pop come out my nose laughing at this one! 🙂 ❤

    Like

    • February 17, 2017 at 8:15 am

      Hope it didn’t make too much of a mess 🙂 I’m glad you enjoyed it!

      Liked by 1 person

  18. February 16, 2017 at 3:13 pm

    This was indeed a hoot and a half, Ali! Yes.. what did he do to her poor nose? That must have been some powerful resuscitating attempts!

    Like

    • February 17, 2017 at 8:15 am

      Yeah, I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to use your teeth 🙂 I’m glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  19. February 16, 2017 at 4:38 pm

    That’s a step up from an inflatable doll, I guess?

    Like

    • February 17, 2017 at 8:17 am

      It’s way more technologically advanced! I almost went down the “inflatable doll” route but stopped myself just in time 🙂

      Like

  20. February 16, 2017 at 4:53 pm

    Haha – I laughed, I cringed, I laughed some more. I remember Annie from my own first aid course.

    Like

    • February 17, 2017 at 8:17 am

      Me too. She had no legs as I recall, the poor dear 🙂
      I’m glad you enjoyed it!

      Liked by 1 person

  21. February 16, 2017 at 7:53 pm

    Hahahaha! Home for the baffled!

    Like

  22. February 16, 2017 at 8:45 pm

    Permanently Baffled!!! Hahahaha! This is awesome!! 🙂

    Like

    • February 17, 2017 at 8:20 am

      Hee, I’m glad you liked it 🙂

      Like

  23. February 16, 2017 at 9:32 pm

    It’s such a joy to connect with someone who’s mind is as warped as mine! Loved this Ali, nice one 🙂

    Like

    • February 17, 2017 at 8:21 am

      Warped is good (fiction-wise) 🙂 I’m glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  24. michael1148humphris
    February 16, 2017 at 10:04 pm

    Poor St Winifred’s they must be over loaded, I suggest that they send out a mayday call

    Like

    • February 17, 2017 at 8:21 am

      It’s filling up fast. I think I sent someone there in a story a few months ago too!

      Like

  25. February 17, 2017 at 2:30 am

    great story-telling. i could imagine what was going on in my brain. enjoyed it very much. 🙂

    Like

  26. February 17, 2017 at 9:33 pm

    Hee Hee. Gobs of fun!

    Like

  27. February 17, 2017 at 9:34 pm

    Ha… I guess that are those who cannot handle any bloodshed.

    Like

    • February 18, 2017 at 6:06 am

      Yeah. Good job it was just a resuscitation dummy 🙂

      Like

  28. February 17, 2017 at 10:04 pm

    Hilarious. I love it when the humour creeps up and bites you unaware. Great stuff.

    Like

  29. February 18, 2017 at 9:57 am

    Yes, you’ve made me laugh again, it’s a weekly event, thanks. Great take

    Like

    • February 18, 2017 at 5:54 pm

      Thanks, I’m glad you get a laugh out of my stories!

      Like

  30. February 18, 2017 at 4:46 pm

    First Aid class, happy days. An everlasting source of jokes 🙂
    We have been talking about robotics lately, and agreed that we can handle that 🙂 As soon as the world’s population hits 10 billion, humanity will enter a new era. I wish I could live to see it. Imagine all the “Annies” marching to work in the morning 🙂

    Like

    • February 18, 2017 at 5:54 pm

      Yeah, we had a few laughs about First Aid training too 🙂
      Sometimes I wish I would live longer so I could see what’s going to happen. Of course, people who were middle-aged in the fifties probably thought we’d have flying cars by now…

      Liked by 1 person

      • February 18, 2017 at 6:35 pm

        That’s true 🙂 When we think of the future, we think of the things we already have, only in a very advanced form – like flying cars. In fact, the most impressive thing will be the ones we absolutely have no clue about today. I love the future, and like you I would love to see at least a glimpse of it.

        Like

      • February 19, 2017 at 6:07 am

        Yes, I feel robbed 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • February 19, 2017 at 10:01 am

        Sigh…

        Like

  31. February 19, 2017 at 1:37 am

    And where is his robotic girlfriend? Get the search party going! : )

    Like

    • February 19, 2017 at 6:09 am

      She’s taking advantage of his absence by treating herself to a spa day (oil change, tune up, that sort of thing).

      Liked by 1 person

  32. February 19, 2017 at 10:41 am

    Very funny take on the potentially gruesome prompt.

    Like

    • February 19, 2017 at 11:02 am

      Thanks. It could have gone very dark this week 🙂

      Like

  33. February 19, 2017 at 10:32 pm

    The poor guy, losing his first patient before even finishing class! I’m glad you went funny with this one. Dolls are creepy enough without a gruesome story to go with them.

    Like

    • February 20, 2017 at 8:02 am

      Human-looking life-size dolls are the creepiest of all. At least I’ll be dead before they’re commonplace in homes as android helpers. Yay 🙂

      Like

      • February 20, 2017 at 4:09 pm

        Lol! Since I find dolls so creepy, I guess I should be glad I’ll be dead then too!

        Like

      • February 20, 2017 at 4:53 pm

        This has taken a rather morbid turn 🙂

        Like

  34. February 21, 2017 at 6:38 pm

    File this under things that made you groan. Ugh (lol)

    Like

  35. February 21, 2017 at 9:10 pm

    This is hilarious, thank you for the laugh!

    Like

  36. February 22, 2017 at 3:58 am

    Hahaha! 😀

    Like

  37. February 24, 2017 at 7:29 am

    You did a great job creating such a fun story from the prompt picture. First aid training always engenders silly talk and behaviour, even when the dummy doesn’t lose its head! St Winifred’s must be a real fun place to live – or work – in. 🙂

    Like

    • February 24, 2017 at 8:09 am

      That’s the best bit about first aid training 🙂
      St Winifred’s is filling up with all sorts of interesting characters – I’m sure I’ve sent someone there before!

      Like

  38. February 27, 2017 at 10:04 am

    Hilarious, Ali. I love the Home for the Permanently Baffled. Good humor writing. 😀 — Suzanne

    Like

    • February 27, 2017 at 11:56 am

      Thanks, I’m glad you liked it 🙂

      Like

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