Home > Fiction > Pegman – Front Channel Diplomacy

Pegman – Front Channel Diplomacy

Here is my story for What Pegman Saw, which this week takes us to Bulgaria.

I toured around a bit and found this crazy nutcase pictured in the Decathlon Vitosha, some sort of shop in Sofia.

Image from Google, copyright maybe those strange characters top left

 

“Look at this idiot. What’s he doing?”

“I think he’s… oh no… call the police!”

Too late. Members of the infamous “Fuzzy Face Gang” were already positioned throughout the shop making rude gestures to the security cameras, shouting Boo! at the children and, in the ultimate act of despicableness, exposing their bare buttocks on the escalators.

News spread to world leaders. They opened diplomatic channels. They planned summits. Meanwhile the Fuzzy Face Gang continued to ply their awful trade.

One leader took action. Unwilling to wait, or even engage his brain, he launched an immediate and devastating Twitter campaign, full of sensationalist half-truths and ill-advised sentiment.

Unable to formulate a reply in under 140 characters, the Fuzzy Face Gang was sorely embarrassed. Support dwindling, it collapsed. The world was safe once again. Hooray for social media!

This work is fictional and any resemblance to people alive, dead or presidential is entirely coincidental.

 

  1. October 22, 2017 at 6:12 pm

    “sensationalist half-truths and ill-advised sentiment” …. so glad it’s fiction. Ahem. 😉 You are entertaining as always!

    Liked by 1 person

    • October 22, 2017 at 6:17 pm

      Yes, totally fiction. All made up 😉
      I’m glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. October 22, 2017 at 6:14 pm

    This is great. Reminds me of somebody.

    Like

    • October 22, 2017 at 6:17 pm

      Hmm, can’t think who 😉
      I’m glad you enjoyed it!

      Like

  3. October 22, 2017 at 7:44 pm

    Dear Ali,

    It was a fake story and it didn’t remind me of anyone I can think of. Love your sense of humor/humour. 😉

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

    • October 23, 2017 at 6:53 am

      Dear Rochelle,
      I’m glad it was suitably vague 🙂 I’m glad you enjoyed it!
      Ali

      Like

  4. October 22, 2017 at 8:20 pm

    …..and I love humus. Not that that has anything to do with anything, apart from the fact (true, or false) that too much makes you trump!

    Did I just say that out loud???????

    Like

  5. October 22, 2017 at 8:23 pm

    hummus, humous, or hommous – but never humus. I’m a failure – SIGH.

    Like

    • October 23, 2017 at 6:54 am

      😦
      All those alternatives and you picked the one that isn’t.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. October 22, 2017 at 9:31 pm

    “Unwilling to wait, or even engage his brain” So that’s the secret to social media! 😀

    Like

    • October 23, 2017 at 6:55 am

      For sure! It doesn’t work if you think too hard 🙂

      Like

  7. October 22, 2017 at 10:02 pm

    Finally, an example in which brainless tweeting actually had the desired effect! Probably the only one, though. Not that we’re naming names, or anything. 🙂

    Unwilling to engage his brain — lol….

    Like

    • October 23, 2017 at 6:55 am

      It would be nice if it worked just once. It would make it all worthwhile.
      Well, not really.

      Liked by 1 person

      • October 23, 2017 at 12:21 pm

        No, not really… I think it’s time (ha ha) to invoke the old, “Even a broken clock is right twice a day” analogy.

        Like

      • October 23, 2017 at 4:04 pm

        Heh 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  8. October 23, 2017 at 2:55 am

    There an ugly rumor that Twitter is going up to 280 characters. Then what will we do?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lyn
      October 23, 2017 at 4:29 am

      Won’t the politicians be pleased. They can subject us to more of their banality and buffoonery.

      Liked by 1 person

    • October 23, 2017 at 6:56 am

      I’ve heard you can accidentally declare war on two countries at once with 280 characters.

      Like

  9. October 23, 2017 at 9:16 am

    The smile I exposed at the first line got bigger and bigger, until I laughed and laughed at this wonderfully penned ridiculous story that was as rounded as those exposed escalator buttocks 😱

    Like

    • October 23, 2017 at 11:28 am

      Ha, I’m glad you enjoyed it! And all totally fictitious, of course 🙂
      I’ll have to remember that “well-rounded” simile, could be fun to use one day!

      Liked by 1 person

  10. October 23, 2017 at 9:46 am

    ‘…or presidential…’ 😂😂

    Like

  11. October 23, 2017 at 10:00 am

    Great, Ali. Who on earth would jump to the conclusion that it had anything to do with the tweets we are so familiar with. It seems not engaging your brain can have some advantages when it runs up again those even more stupid. 😀 — Suzanne

    Like

    • October 23, 2017 at 11:29 am

      At least we’ve found the level at which his method of diplomacy will prove effective. Whoever “he” is 🙂

      Like

  12. October 23, 2017 at 8:44 pm

    Yeah. Coincidental. Still, it worked, at least this time.

    Like

  13. October 24, 2017 at 2:11 pm

    The only thing stranger than this story is just what exactly the Google Street View camera is doing inside of a department store. I’m guessing the car accidentally ran through the front window again….

    Like

    • October 24, 2017 at 3:17 pm

      It was probably one of those “never have an accident again” self-driving whatsits.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. October 25, 2017 at 6:36 am

    So the Twitter campaign won out then? Perhaps real leaders could learn from this … 🙂 Funny tale Draliman

    Like

    • October 25, 2017 at 7:04 am

      All it’s done for the “totally fictitious” world leader in my story has turned him into a laughing stock, but you never know 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • October 25, 2017 at 9:17 am

        You’d think the real one would already be a laughing stock, but still he trudges on . .

        Like

      • October 25, 2017 at 3:11 pm

        😦

        Like

  15. October 27, 2017 at 3:18 pm

    😂 brilliant

    Like

  16. October 29, 2017 at 8:31 pm

    Death by social media – the poor Fuzzy Face Gang will be sorely missed. 🙂

    Like

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